Re: What to do when they refuse treatment?

[Guest guest]

I would say we have all been there and done that if we are human. It is

sooo..... hard. My son has some pretty severe emotion problems and he would have

never come back to tell me he would do it so you are one step ahead of me. I

would be very proud of her for coming back. How old is your daughter? I would

also say that you can imagine that she also gets tired of all the onslaught of

medical things thrown at her and forced on her. I counted one time 12 things in

a day that my son had to deal with for medical only not to mention all of the

other behavioral limits I had set out for him. It must be overwhelming and

tiring for them. I would suggest you set up a positive reinforcement system to

work with her. We did a check off with stars for everytime she did without

complaining and then she could use those points to trade for a treat of some

kind. I think the hardest part is we can have a bunch of spoiled brats ( in some

peoples minds ) if we

tolerate the tantrums and refusals but...... I also think we are unfair

sometimes and we get angry because we know how important it is for their health.

If this is unusual for her then sit down and talk to her about it at another

time. Explain that you did not handle it the way that you would have liked to

but you have a responsibility as her mom to get her what she needs to try to

stay healthy. Also that you know it must be hard for her to want to do her meds

but that just because she does not want to is not her choice. That you as her

mom must make those choices for her until she gets mature enough to make good

choices for her body.. So I often tell my son that there are things in life that

are his choices and some that are not his choice. And I clarify what these

things are as they come up. After that I give choices about when, where and how?

And I try to give him control of his choices. This has really worked for us. I

remain in control of the IF

and they remain in control of the rest to a point. I also have in rare

circumstances when he use to throw up his med on purpose would tell him that if

he did I would have a endless bottle of med. It eventually worked. I also used

bribary (incentives) such as M & Ms, oreos, gummy worms etc to chase the taste. I

always have a small stash for them. I know some people have perfect kids that

would never give them candy for being good but I feel like they are doing much

more than most well kids and if I can make their lives a bit sweeter or sour so

that they can get through it then so be it. Hope this helps a bit. Feel free to

email me if you want some more suggestions. I am a Pediatric nurse as well and

find kids will cooperate if you help them be a part of the choices even if it is

an awful thing happening to them.

BARBIE

What to do when they refuse treatment?

Last night was a nightmare, were all sick with a head/chest cold (no

body

aches or high fevers or I'd swear it was the flu becasue it hit like a

train) Anyway, dd kept coughing and it sounded like an asthma attack, the

kids broke my stethoscope (AFTER the fact I realized dd put it back together

wrong after the baby took it apart is why it wasn't working) so I had to

wake her up to take her Xopenex and it was a nightmare. She adamently and

violently refused. Total meltdown. I finally walked out in total fustration

and told her " fine, then die " . I can not believe said that to her! I went

and sat out on the couch and about 5 minutes later she came out and said she

didn't want to die and wanted to do it but she wanted to do it alone. I do

not trust her to do it alone (she's 7 and just moved from nebs to MDI's)

but I didn't have much choice last night so I let her. I need suggestions on

how to better handle this in the future. Right now I'm seriously sleep

deprived, the baby is nursing non stop it seems and I have a ton of homework

due tonight that I still have to do so stress levels are high and I know I

handled last night badly. We see pulmo Monday and I'm going to ask about

asthma education classes for her to better help her understand the need for

meds but with else can I do?

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