Guest guest Posted September 21, 2010 Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 Hi , I have been following your posts and was really glad to see Lottie finally bring up the issue of your relationship with your husband. The advice you have gotten about the medical side is good, and it looks like you are going to find a different doctor who will support you in your life choices as much as possible. However, having a baby is a lot of work. It is NEVER a convenient time. It is ALWAYS stressful on the marriage in some way. Spending time with your brother's children is a helpful experience, but really doesn't prepare you for the 24/7 job of parenting your own kids. It also doesn't sound like it is impacting on your husband much. Every new mom needs 100% support from her spouse. Add in the CML and you need it even more. It raised a red flag for me that your husband is siding with his mother, against you, on the pregnancy issue. It is fine to be afraid (after all, there ARE risks involved with staying off your meds) but, the discussion should be with YOU, about the needs of the family unit the 2 of you create. If there are questions, the two of you should be researching this together, and deciding together how to proceed. You certainly don't want to decide to have a baby against his wishes - that should be true with our without CML! I agree with Lottie that a couple of sessions with a marriage counselor might not be a bad idea. You need to explore the " what if's " together (what if you really want children and he doesn't; what if you have a baby and you are too tired to continue working and need to stay home; what if your/his families don't support you etc etc etc) all the best, Leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2010 Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 Hi Leah: I think you said it all very well. I did post a message to , but it did not seem to go through. I had mentioned that I had a baby that had very bad colic, and she was up all night. My husband used to chase me to bed to get some sleep after he had just come in from a full days work, and then after a little rest was able to handle it so he could go to bed. We were both young and healthy,and it was rough. The biggest thing was that we supported each other to get through those rough months after she was born. has a lot to consider here before making any choices, and I mentioned that this all needs to be thought through a lot before a final decision. Hope all works out. > > Hi , > I have been following your posts and was really glad to see Lottie > finally bring up the issue of your relationship with your husband. > > The advice you have gotten about the medical side is good, and it > looks like you are going to find a different doctor who will support > you in your life choices as much as possible. > > However, having a baby is a lot of work. It is NEVER a convenient > time. It is ALWAYS stressful on the marriage in some way. Spending > time with your brother's children is a helpful experience, but really > doesn't prepare you for the 24/7 job of parenting your own kids. It > also doesn't sound like it is impacting on your husband much. Every > new mom needs 100% support from her spouse. Add in the CML and you > need it even more. > > It raised a red flag for me that your husband is siding with his > mother, against you, on the pregnancy issue. It is fine to be afraid > (after all, there ARE risks involved with staying off your meds) but, > the discussion should be with YOU, about the needs of the family unit > the 2 of you create. > If there are questions, the two of you should be researching this > together, and deciding together how to proceed. You certainly don't > want to decide to have a baby against his wishes - that should be > true with our without CML! > I agree with Lottie that a couple of sessions with a marriage > counselor might not be a bad idea. You need to explore the " what > if's " together (what if you really want children and he doesn't; what > if you have a baby and you are too tired to continue working and need > to stay home; what if your/his families don't support you etc etc etc) > all the best, > Leah > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2010 Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 Thanks everyone, its great to hear from everyone. We have decided not to rush into  anything, we are going to wait another year or two, so that I can take my time and do ALL the research, he almost prefers to pay and use the surrogate then me get off my meds. I guess this isn't going to be as easy as I had hoped for, but in the mean time I will enjoy my brother's and his brothers kids, and give them back when I am done :-) From: A <suzzienovember@...> Subject: [ ] Re:Part time mommy Date: Tuesday, September 21, 2010, 9:47 AM  Hi Leah: I think you said it all very well. I did post a message to , but it did not seem to go through. I had mentioned that I had a baby that had very bad colic, and she was up all night. My husband used to chase me to bed to get some sleep after he had just come in from a full days work, and then after a little rest was able to handle it so he could go to bed. We were both young and healthy,and it was rough. The biggest thing was that we supported each other to get through those rough months after she was born. has a lot to consider here before making any choices, and I mentioned that this all needs to be thought through a lot before a final decision. Hope all works out. > > Hi , > I have been following your posts and was really glad to see Lottie > finally bring up the issue of your relationship with your husband. > > The advice you have gotten about the medical side is good, and it > looks like you are going to find a different doctor who will support > you in your life choices as much as possible. > > However, having a baby is a lot of work. It is NEVER a convenient > time. It is ALWAYS stressful on the marriage in some way. Spending > time with your brother's children is a helpful experience, but really > doesn't prepare you for the 24/7 job of parenting your own kids. It > also doesn't sound like it is impacting on your husband much. Every > new mom needs 100% support from her spouse. Add in the CML and you > need it even more. > > It raised a red flag for me that your husband is siding with his > mother, against you, on the pregnancy issue. It is fine to be afraid > (after all, there ARE risks involved with staying off your meds) but, > the discussion should be with YOU, about the needs of the family unit > the 2 of you create. > If there are questions, the two of you should be researching this > together, and deciding together how to proceed. You certainly don't > want to decide to have a baby against his wishes - that should be > true with our without CML! > I agree with Lottie that a couple of sessions with a marriage > counselor might not be a bad idea. You need to explore the " what > if's " together (what if you really want children and he doesn't; what > if you have a baby and you are too tired to continue working and need > to stay home; what if your/his families don't support you etc etc etc) > all the best, > Leah > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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