Reintroducing myself to the group

[Guest guest]

My name is Colleen. I am mom to Jake (OCD/GAD), age 10, and Ian,

age 7.

Jake has suffered from GAD for years, but the OCD didn't manifest

until last January.

Jake's main OCD struggle is the bad thought OCD.

He entered an intensive outpatient program last January in

Pittsburgh, PA. He was in the program through May.

He struggled a tiny bit through May and early June, but the OCD

really seemed to be in check toward Mid-May through the end of this

December.

He seemed to have some trouble with the thoughts right after

Christmas. He said the voice in his head was saying mean things

about him and other people. Then, the thoughts transferred to what

he calls " inappropriate sexual thoughts " .

This is exactly how everything started last year at this time.

Then, this morning he told me that the voice in his head was telling

him to do harmful things to others. He told me that he was doing

his best to fight it back, but it really bothered/worried him.

Just a little bit ago, I asked him how he was doing, and he opened

up a bit about the harmful thoughts. He really struggled with

telling me that the voice was telling him " kill " thoughts-

especially about me.

This is now exactly where we were last year.

I am so heartbroken.

I know that OCD waxes and wanes, but to be totally honest, I was

hoping that I never had to hear my son tell me again that the bad

thought OCD was telling him to kill me.

Jake has seen a therapist once a week since his discharge from the

program, so I called her this afternoon and left a message about all

of this.

I just needed to vent to someone who knows what I am going through.

Thanks for listening.