Fatigue

April 26, 2008

,

The fatigue is the worst part for me. I can handle the pain and the

inflammation, but the fatigue is my biggest symptom. It wasn't

always this bad for me. When I was first diagnosed w/ RA and fibro

shortly after, I took ephedra and it did wonders for me. Ephedra was

banned and I haven't found anything since. I have tried caffine,

vitamins, excerise...with no help.

I am really pushing my rheumy to prescribe me provigil or an ADHD

medication; but I have other medical issues (bi-polar, PTSD). Right

now the course of action is for me to pysch to try to tweek my mental

health medications. I am hoping that they will prescribe me

something once all other options have been tried.

The fatigue does take time to get used too. I was 24 when I was

diagnosed and it was heart breaking in the begininng because I

couldn't keep up w/ my friends, I wasn't as outgoing as I used to be.

What helps me is doing things when I have the energy and if I get

tired I take a break. There are days when it takes all my energy to

bathe and that is all I do. Just rest when you need and if you can do

more when your feeling up to it, just don't go overboard.

--- In , " brendabennion " <bennion8@...>

wrote:

>

> I have been worrying about this a lot, I see some have mentioned

here

> struggling with this too... how many of us deal with this?

>

> I notice constant fatigue... I can't do anything and I feel so

> depressed about this. I feel mentally and physically tired in huge

> proportions. I have been officially diagnosed with RA for nearly

two

> years, though it took a year to find a Rheumatologist that took it

> seriously. All my blood work and symptoms said RA, but the first

> doctor my GP sent me too didn't believe it. (I have no idea why).

I'm

> on mtx injection, sulfasalzine, and hydroxychloroquin. It has

really

> cut my pain down, but my feet still always hurt. But I am ALWAYS

> tired, I can't get myself to do anything! Where I used to be a

mover

> and shaker, now I sit most of the time, and have to lie down a

couple

> times a day. Some days my ankles, knees, and hands hurt or mostly

> just ache, but I can't see how that would be tireing! Especially

> since I am getting so sedentary! Does the disease process itself do

> this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this daily? I

> think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I can't

do

> anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

>

> Thanks in advance for input!

>

April 26, 2008

I had to say the fatigue is a huge thing for me now too. I have to

lay down every afternoon and just sort of re-group. Sometimes I fall

asleep and sometimes I don't but that break from life every day makes

it easier. When they put me on Pred I thought that was making me

tired but it isn't. I should be feeling wonderful and while I do

feel better on Pred...it's not quite the miracle I was hoping for. I

have no pain meds with it...the only thing I can take from OTC is

Tylenol and it is useless.

I'll be starting a new job on Wednesday of this coming week. I need

the medical benefits. I don't really know how I'm going to handle

the schedule and skipping those naps every day. How do I go to work

after a painful sleepless night? I'm not sure how this will all work

out. Maybe I'll be able to fall into a routine with it all and be

better off but right now I'm a little scared. I'm not sure how far

I'll have to walk from the employees parking lot to the building and

then to the office....when I went for my interview it seemed like a

long way. I have orientation on Wednesday and I'm taking a cane!

I'm also going to get a handicapped placard for the car. My Mother

has one that I've been using but I think it's time I try to get my

own. I just hope my GP will fill out the form for me so I can get

it. From their point of view I have a chronic inflammation situation

but they have no idea what from.

I have a question...when your fatigue sets in...do you start to feel

feverish and sick....like you're coming down with something? It

comes on every single day that way for me.

Take care,

Sharon in NJ

> >

> > I have been worrying about this a lot, I see some have mentioned

> here

> > struggling with this too... how many of us deal with this?

> >

> > I notice constant fatigue... I can't do anything and I feel so

> > depressed about this. I feel mentally and physically tired in

huge

> > proportions. I have been officially diagnosed with RA for nearly

> two

> > years, though it took a year to find a Rheumatologist that took

it

> > seriously. All my blood work and symptoms said RA, but the first

> > doctor my GP sent me too didn't believe it. (I have no idea why).

> I'm

> > on mtx injection, sulfasalzine, and hydroxychloroquin. It has

> really

> > cut my pain down, but my feet still always hurt. But I am ALWAYS

> > tired, I can't get myself to do anything! Where I used to be a

> mover

> > and shaker, now I sit most of the time, and have to lie down a

> couple

> > times a day. Some days my ankles, knees, and hands hurt or mostly

> > just ache, but I can't see how that would be tireing! Especially

> > since I am getting so sedentary! Does the disease process itself

do

> > this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this daily? I

> > think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I can't

> do

> > anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

> >

> > Thanks in advance for input!

> >

>

April 26, 2008

Sharon,

You just described exactly how I feel. I get chills and waves of aching just

like the

beginning of a bad case of the flu. Sometimes I have several episodes of that

feeling a

day. If I sit down, relax a little and not push what I am doing at that moment,

it helps. For

me, I still find that the best NSAID is ibuprofen, 800 mg. I know it is

different for everyone.

Good luck on the new job! Take care of yourself!

Pat

> > >

> > > I have been worrying about this a lot, I see some have mentioned

> > here

> > > struggling with this too... how many of us deal with this?

> > >

> > > I notice constant fatigue... I can't do anything and I feel so

> > > depressed about this. I feel mentally and physically tired in

> huge

> > > proportions. I have been officially diagnosed with RA for nearly

> > two

> > > years, though it took a year to find a Rheumatologist that took

> it

> > > seriously. All my blood work and symptoms said RA, but the first

> > > doctor my GP sent me too didn't believe it. (I have no idea why).

> > I'm

> > > on mtx injection, sulfasalzine, and hydroxychloroquin. It has

> > really

> > > cut my pain down, but my feet still always hurt. But I am ALWAYS

> > > tired, I can't get myself to do anything! Where I used to be a

> > mover

> > > and shaker, now I sit most of the time, and have to lie down a

> > couple

> > > times a day. Some days my ankles, knees, and hands hurt or mostly

> > > just ache, but I can't see how that would be tireing! Especially

> > > since I am getting so sedentary! Does the disease process itself

> do

> > > this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this daily? I

> > > think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I can't

> > do

> > > anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

> > >

> > > Thanks in advance for input!

> > >

> >

>

April 26, 2008

I feel this way too. My doctor says maybe it's due to the fact that I have

sjogrens and RA. However, my joints feel pretty good most of the time, however,

I must admit that IS variable day to day. But I'm not having red hot swollen

joints... and so she often wonders why I am so tired too. My ferritin level

was 7 which is very low--- but even with iron replacement, there is no

change. I am dangerously close to falling asleep every morning during my drive

to

work. It's been like this for the past year.

I'm too tired to clean my house like I used to and it's a pigstye! I can't

stand it!!!! and yet, I'm too tired to do anything- when I do, I'm exhausted

for hours and useless. No one seems to understand and my fiance gives me a

terrible time about the house. It leaves me feeling overwhelmed and more tired.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 3:23:33 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

bennion8@... writes:

Does the disease process itself do I

this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this daily? I

think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I can't do

anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

**************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

April 26, 2008

I am even on the Enbrel. We stopped the Arava to make sure that was not

contributing to the exhaustion. Frustrating isn't it? Everything has been ruled

out.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 4:37:47 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

pmandell@... writes:

Hang in there

and go back to your specialist and describe the exhaustion. Keep going

regularly if you

have to in order to be heard. I actually broke down and cried in my rheumy's

office and

said, " I just want my life back! " At that point, she put me on Enbrel

**************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

April 26, 2008

Thank you Pat...I'm not worried so much about doing the job...I'm

just worried about being UP for the length of time it will take to

get through the day.

Do you get a rash on your face when you get so fatigued? Mine used

to be brighter than it is now..it's fading...I'm getting older LOL!!

It's as if I can feel it though and I don't need to see it to know

it's there. It seems to come when I'm feeling fatigued and tired

every day.

Take care and thanks again,

Sharon in NJ

> > > >

> > > > I have been worrying about this a lot, I see some have

mentioned

> > > here

> > > > struggling with this too... how many of us deal with this?

> > > >

> > > > I notice constant fatigue... I can't do anything and I feel

so

> > > > depressed about this. I feel mentally and physically tired in

> > huge

> > > > proportions. I have been officially diagnosed with RA for

nearly

> > > two

> > > > years, though it took a year to find a Rheumatologist that

took

> > it

> > > > seriously. All my blood work and symptoms said RA, but the

first

> > > > doctor my GP sent me too didn't believe it. (I have no idea

why).

> > > I'm

> > > > on mtx injection, sulfasalzine, and hydroxychloroquin. It has

> > > really

> > > > cut my pain down, but my feet still always hurt. But I am

ALWAYS

> > > > tired, I can't get myself to do anything! Where I used to be

a

> > > mover

> > > > and shaker, now I sit most of the time, and have to lie down

a

> > > couple

> > > > times a day. Some days my ankles, knees, and hands hurt or

mostly

> > > > just ache, but I can't see how that would be tireing!

Especially

> > > > since I am getting so sedentary! Does the disease process

itself

> > do

> > > > this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this

daily? I

> > > > think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I

can't

> > > do

> > > > anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

> > > >

> > > > Thanks in advance for input!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

April 26, 2008

,

I have the same problem except its my hands and wrists. They have gotten

to the stage where I am beginning to think nothing they give me will help. I

also have Fibro so I am always tired I do feel better if I get some kind of

exercise. I try to do one of the morning shows on lifetime to keep me from

being so stiff. It helps with the range of motion but it does nothing for

the hand pain. I was in Enbrel but the Rhu changed me top Humera every other

week. I can't tell any difference yet but I am praying it will work. I also

take Methotrexate and a ton of other meds.

Heidi M

On Sat, Apr 26, 2008 at 4:33 PM, Sharon <Fotograffa@...> wrote:

> Thank you Pat...I'm not worried so much about doing the job...I'm

> just worried about being UP for the length of time it will take to

> get through the day.

>

> Do you get a rash on your face when you get so fatigued? Mine used

> to be brighter than it is now..it's fading...I'm getting older LOL!!

> It's as if I can feel it though and I don't need to see it to know

> it's there. It seems to come when I'm feeling fatigued and tired

> every day.

>

> Take care and thanks again,

> Sharon in NJ

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I have been worrying about this a lot, I see some have

> mentioned

> > > > here

> > > > > struggling with this too... how many of us deal with this?

> > > > >

> > > > > I notice constant fatigue... I can't do anything and I feel

> so

> > > > > depressed about this. I feel mentally and physically tired in

> > > huge

> > > > > proportions. I have been officially diagnosed with RA for

> nearly

> > > > two

> > > > > years, though it took a year to find a Rheumatologist that

> took

> > > it

> > > > > seriously. All my blood work and symptoms said RA, but the

> first

> > > > > doctor my GP sent me too didn't believe it. (I have no idea

> why).

> > > > I'm

> > > > > on mtx injection, sulfasalzine, and hydroxychloroquin. It has

> > > > really

> > > > > cut my pain down, but my feet still always hurt. But I am

> ALWAYS

> > > > > tired, I can't get myself to do anything! Where I used to be

> a

> > > > mover

> > > > > and shaker, now I sit most of the time, and have to lie down

> a

> > > > couple

> > > > > times a day. Some days my ankles, knees, and hands hurt or

> mostly

> > > > > just ache, but I can't see how that would be tireing!

> Especially

> > > > > since I am getting so sedentary! Does the disease process

> itself

> > > do

> > > > > this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this

> daily? I

> > > > > think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I

> can't

> > > > do

> > > > > anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks in advance for input!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

April 26, 2008

Yep. It's up to me because he says he won't clean up after my messy children.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 6:42:35 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

marysue@... writes:

Abby, does he leave all of the housework up to you? If so, maybe he

could help out with it. My husband is not much for cleaning, but he

does do the cooking and grocery shopping. (I did it for the first half

of the marriage; now he's taking his turn, LOL.)

Sue

**************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

April 26, 2008

Fatigue is part of the package.

But then, so is entitlement to:

Naps,

Rest Periods,

Down Time,

Alone Time,

Sleep all darned day if need be, time....

It is something you just have to go with.

Give in to it and rest. Sometimes I never really fall asleep

but I can doze heavily....for hours.

It's your body telling you IT

is tired

and you need to listen and respect that

because it's where you live and if

you don't take care of it

it will take you down...

Just take your pain meds,

draw the drapes,

put nice soothing music on the stereo

and climb into bed or your favorite chair

You are entitled.

good luck

Shauna

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

April 26, 2008

---

Thank you so much! I needed to read these things from everyone. I get

down on myself a lot wondering if this is normal. Many days are

like, get up, get the kids off to school, get my hubby off, clean the

kitchen and anything else that needs it, then I just collapse. I have

to literally lie down and pray for an hour to be able to do anything

else. I still have a young one still at home who needs me,

fortunately I have someone here to help me with her. But I feel

guilty about it, my child needs me. By the time everyone gets home I

am wiped out again, and have to spend another hour or so down before

I can get dinner going. This was never me before... I was a nurse, I

organized and ran children's choirs and groups, and many other

things. Now I barely function, I feel like I have lost myself. Thank

you so much again, I really needed to read this. I did look up some

of my drugs due to one link someone posted? Sulfasalizine looks like

it can cause some fatigue, has anyone experience this with this drug?

I do feel like half of my fatigue is mental as well as physical,

though today I did better. My son's senior prom is tonight, and I

have been making some fancy refreshments for him, his date, and

friends. I had to take a lot of breaks because of the pain in my feet

and ankles. The fatigue was a lot physical, but it was better.

Thanks again, it helped a lot.

And Shauna, I am going to copy your post and put it on my

refrigerator!

Blessings to all of you,

In , Shauna Armstrong <shauna4343@...>

wrote:

>

> Fatigue is part of the package.

>

> But then, so is entitlement to:

>

> Naps,

> Rest Periods,

> Down Time,

> Alone Time,

> Sleep all darned day if need be, time....

>

> It is something you just have to go with.

> Give in to it and rest. Sometimes I never really fall asleep

> but I can doze heavily....for hours.

>

> It's your body telling you IT

> is tired

> and you need to listen and respect that

> because it's where you live and if

> you don't take care of it

> it will take you down...

>

> Just take your pain meds,

> draw the drapes,

> put nice soothing music on the stereo

> and climb into bed or your favorite chair

>

> You are entitled.

>

> good luck

> Shauna

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>

April 26, 2008

Oh they are definitely old enough.... but have many emotional problems. It's

very hard and someday I will figure out how to get them to do things

regularly. I can often get them to do things from time to time... but to clean

up

after themselves regularly? forget it.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 7:42:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

marysue@... writes:

So maybe you'll have to get those messy children to help, LOL. Or maybe

they're not old enough to do much yet. I gave all of mine chores to do

when they were old enough, and eventually turned over their laundry to

them. It was good training for them.

Sue

**************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

April 26, 2008

Abby, I can relate to that!! My fatigue gets me in the afternoon. I

can usually get throught the mornings ok. I peak at noon and slide

down after that. If I don't do whatever it is by at least

3:00...it's just not happening. It's odd how people don't

understand. I'm usually pretty luck in that respect but patience

wears thin now and again. I don't take advantage of it...I get mad

at myself because I can't do things I want to. It's no fun being a

prisoner in your own body though. It's not that I'm trying to avoid

things I don't want to do..I can't do thinks I love and enjoy either.

Take care,

Sharon in NJ

>

> I feel this way too. My doctor says maybe it's due to the fact that

I have

> sjogrens and RA. However, my joints feel pretty good most of the

time, however,

> I must admit that IS variable day to day. But I'm not having red

hot swollen

> joints... and so she often wonders why I am so tired too. My

ferritin level

> was 7 which is very low--- but even with iron replacement, there

is no

> change. I am dangerously close to falling asleep every morning

during my drive to

> work. It's been like this for the past year.

>

> I'm too tired to clean my house like I used to and it's a pigstye!

I can't

> stand it!!!! and yet, I'm too tired to do anything- when I do,

I'm exhausted

> for hours and useless. No one seems to understand and my fiance

gives me a

> terrible time about the house. It leaves me feeling overwhelmed and

more tired.

>

> Abby

>

> In a message dated 4/26/2008 3:23:33 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

> bennion8@... writes:

>

> Does the disease process itself do I

> this, or what? How many of you out there deal with this daily? I

> think I'm in a terrible cycle... feel worn out, feel like I can't

do

> anything, feel depressed, so I feel more worn out!

>

> **************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S.

used car

> listings at AOL Autos.

> (http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

>

April 26, 2008

Thanks Shauna. I think we all needed to read that.

Take care,

Sharon in NJ

--- In , Shauna Armstrong <shauna4343@...>

wrote:

>

> Fatigue is part of the package.

>

> But then, so is entitlement to:

>

> Naps,

> Rest Periods,

> Down Time,

> Alone Time,

> Sleep all darned day if need be, time....

>

> It is something you just have to go with.

> Give in to it and rest. Sometimes I never really fall asleep

> but I can doze heavily....for hours.

>

> It's your body telling you IT

> is tired

> and you need to listen and respect that

> because it's where you live and if

> you don't take care of it

> it will take you down...

>

> Just take your pain meds,

> draw the drapes,

> put nice soothing music on the stereo

> and climb into bed or your favorite chair

>

> You are entitled.

>

> good luck

> Shauna

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>

April 26, 2008

Abby, does he leave all of the housework up to you? If so, maybe he

could help out with it. My husband is not much for cleaning, but he

does do the cooking and grocery shopping. (I did it for the first half

of the marriage; now he's taking his turn, LOL.)

Sue

On Saturday, April 26, 2008, at 06:57 PM, getcoffee@... wrote:

>

> I'm too tired to clean my house like I used to and it's a pigstye! I

> can't

> stand it!!!! and yet, I'm too tired to do anything- when I do, I'm

> exhausted

> for hours and useless. No one seems to understand and my fiance gives

> me a

> terrible time about the house. It leaves me feeling overwhelmed and

> more tired.

>

April 26, 2008

So maybe you'll have to get those messy children to help, LOL. Or maybe

they're not old enough to do much yet. I gave all of mine chores to do

when they were old enough, and eventually turned over their laundry to

them. It was good training for them.

Sue

On Saturday, April 26, 2008, at 09:57 PM, getcoffee@... wrote:

> Yep. It's up to me because he says he won't clean up after my messy

> children.

>

> Abby

>

April 27, 2008

Hi Abby,

Â So sorry to hear of your struggles.

Just a thought, but have you looked at the Fly Lady group (also on

groups).

I have found it a very supportive and encouragingÂ site, and it runs a section

to get the chidren invoved.

Good atÂ getting them motivated, and stopping frustations rebounding.

Good luck anyway.

Chris

PS the motto is baby steps...

Re: [ ] Fatigue

Oh they are definitely old enough.... but have many emotional problems. It's

very hard and someday I will figure out how to get them to do things

regularly. I can often get them to do things from time to time... but to clean

up

after themselves regularly? forget it.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 7:42:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

marysuetriad (DOT) rr.com writes:

So maybe you'll have to get those messy children to help, LOL. Or maybe

they're not old enough to do much yet. I gave all of mine chores to do

when they were old enough, and eventually turned over their laundry to

them. It was good training for them.

Sue

************ **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos. aol.com/used? NCID=aolcmp00300 000002851)

April 27, 2008

I thought the same thing. The flylady site has helped at our house tremendously.

She has you break things down into 15 min jobs. If things get really out of hand

over here and it is making me feel sad I call a " team-clean " ...this is where

the whole family travels from room to room together usually lasts about an hour

but wow what a difference! Every one works in the same room at the same time

lots of instant gratification that way. Good luck. Kathy

Re: [ ] Fatigue

Oh they are definitely old enough.... but have many emotional problems. It's

very hard and someday I will figure out how to get them to do things

regularly. I can often get them to do things from time to time... but to clean

up

after themselves regularly? forget it.

Abby

In a message dated 4/26/2008 7:42:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

marysuetriad (DOT) rr.com writes:

So maybe you'll have to get those messy children to help, LOL. Or maybe

they're not old enough to do much yet. I gave all of mine chores to do

when they were old enough, and eventually turned over their laundry to

them. It was good training for them.

Sue

************ **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car

listings at AOL Autos.

(http://autos.<http://autos./> aol.com/used? NCID=aolcmp00300 000002851)

April 27, 2008

Abby,

Does " Mr Man " clean the house? you work and have this DD causing you to

hurt, and feel bad. Give him some information on RA and how devastating it

cam be to your joints and total body, So many times people say ohh I have

arthritis too. Even though Arthritis is bad there is no comparison that is

hard to make people understand.When someone ask me I tell the I have both ,

which I do. Arthritis of the spine and RA everywhere else. Don't let feel

like you should feel bad for not cleaning, hell you work and that is an

amazing feat for someone with RA. I know several of the members do and I

applaud y'all. AS I said at first. tell the BF you don't like it YOU CLEAN!!

This is my 2 cents worth, well actually its more like a nickels worth. Hope

you can relax today.

Heidi M

On Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 8:39 AM, Kathy KING <rtking33@...> wrote:

> I thought the same thing. The flylady site has helped at our house

> tremendously. She has you break things down into 15 min jobs. If things get

> really out of hand over here and it is making me feel sad I call a

> " team-clean " ...this is where the whole family travels from room to room

> together usually lasts about an hour but wow what a difference! Every one

> works in the same room at the same time lots of instant gratification that

> way. Good luck. Kathy

> Re: [ ] Fatigue

>

> Oh they are definitely old enough.... but have many emotional problems.

> It's

> very hard and someday I will figure out how to get them to do things

> regularly. I can often get them to do things from time to time... but to

> clean up

> after themselves regularly? forget it.

>

> Abby

>

> In a message dated 4/26/2008 7:42:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

> marysuetriad (DOT) rr.com writes:

>

> So maybe you'll have to get those messy children to help, LOL. Or maybe

> they're not old enough to do much yet. I gave all of mine chores to do

> when they were old enough, and eventually turned over their laundry to

> them. It was good training for them.

>

> Sue

>

> ************ **Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used

> car

> listings at AOL Autos.

> (http://autos.<http://autos./> aol.com/used? NCID=aolcmp00300 000002851)

>

April 27, 2008

I am so proud of all of you that have families and for those of you able to

work. I've been home and disabled for 6 years now and I'm 36. I want my life

back so badly. I've always had issues with anxiety (panic attacks since before

the fourth grade. Debilitating ones.) I spent two years bedbound and could only

leave the house once every 6 months to go to the doctor. I want my life back so

badly, but my anxiety has brought me agoraphobia. This is really hard to share.

My friends do not even know I have this issue. I used to be able to hide it, but

now its become impossible and I feel like a fake and fraud to not tell people.

When I say I can't go somewhere I blame it on the pain/fatigue/ra/fms and other

health conditions I have. Even if I can beat the agoraphobia eventually, I

worry about going back to work. I get bronchitis and respiratory infections

that leave me bedbound for weeks. When I get bronchitis I have it for 3 months

or longer. I cannot take

antibiotics except for doxycycline and bactrim due to allergies to the rest. I

can barely function then as I have to stop the Sulfasalazine. I was contacted

from an agency to work at home, which once I get more healthy am considering. I

just would really like to get out of the house. Except for my mom, brother,

nephew and dogs, and one uncle, I no longer have anyone in the outside world I

really connect with. Except for my CBT doctor who helps me every Wednesday with

the agoraphobia and anxiety. You are all my heros that have families and jobs.

Thank you for your inspiration.

Heidi Mendelsohn <hmendelsohn@...> wrote: