Re: Here's another take on computer humor: WAY OT!

[Guest guest]

Very cute, Jill!!

Taryn

Here's another take on computer humor: WAY OT!

I found this unusually apt, and decided to share it with all of you!JillDear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soonnoticed that the new program began unexpected child processing thattook up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this wasincluded with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing 7.5,and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system wheneverselected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whileattempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, But the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!!THE REPLYDear Troubled User,Your situation is due to a very common problem that generates manycomplaints. It is due to a primary misconception made generally by male users.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking thatit is merely a "Utilities and Entertainment program". Wife 1.0 is anOPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything!It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulateWife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall,delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed.You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designedto disallow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but endup with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend thatyou keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggestinstalling the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation.Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read theentire section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPFs)."You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems thatoccur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF's arecyclical. The best course of action is to enter the commandC:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimatelyyou will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system willreturn to normal anyway.Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very highmaintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such asClean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5.Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 andDiamonds 5.0 should this happen.WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, installSecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. Wife 1.0 does not support this applicationand will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.For more plagio info