.5 lbs from my first goal weight- ARGH!!! **triggers** beware.

[Guest guest]

Hi you guys,

Well, it's been a bit slow here, up and down and all around. A cancer scare--

when I heard 's recent podcast wishing one of our fellow travellers the

best, upon hearing of her breast lump, I was in awe. Sometimes there is

synchronicity, a la Carl Jung, in this world. In our collective unconscious,

there are waves of energy, and I guess I was sending out something too. Two

weeks ago, I had a yearly checkup and the obiegynie found lumps on both sides. A

VERY LONG 5 days of waiting for an ultrasound. At this point, I have 4 cysts on

one side, and 1 gigantic cyst on the other side, as well as a rib that is

assymetrically poking out on one side (go figure). No signs of cancer. So. Thank

you for sending me some karma. I needed it.

In other medical news, I have recently discovered that a genetic coagulation

disorder that I have managed up to this point with a baby aspirin and regular

doses of fattyfish/oil will likely make any plans for pregnancy VERY complicated

if not impossible. I just wasn't thinking about this before. The past five years

has been " ho-hum " Can't wait to finish up training and stuff, and then I'll get

a job and start working. Then kids. Not so fast. ! yikes ! I can only deal with

so much, right?

Well, this stuff kind of threw me for a loop. I had major comfort food/lethargy

attacks the past few weeks, and it's been a rough go.

A family I know is in a tough place, because the mother left her baby

unattended, who drowned, and now she's in the hospital, and her 2.5yr old

autistic boy is somewhere in the child welfare system. Likely she will be

prosecuted for some form of homocide, or at the very least criminal neglect. I'm

an advocate for the 2.5 year old, but I was rooting for this whole family to

pull through. What a tragedy.

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awkward transition warning:

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At any rate, I'm down 4.5 pounds, close to my 5lb initial goal. I decided about

4 weeks ago to clean up my act, and have been somewhat inconsistently keeping a

food diary. So, that's good news. Part of the health thing makes me want to

crawl under a rock and hibernate, and the other part makes me want to dose up

with vitamins and sign up for a marathon (I think I *might?* be able to run a

block?) so much for moderation.

Okay, an essay is due tomorrow. Well, due last week, but I asked for an

extension, all things considered...

thanks for listening to my rant. I'm really sorry to share such terrible news.

COV