504 meeting...GULP! What am I supposed to ask for??????

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My son is 8 and was diagnosed with OCD at 6. He's come a long way,

but anxiety gets in the way at school. His teacher works with him

really well and suggested a 504 plan. She had to coax us, but I came

to see that it was better then trying to explain to a new teacher

each year. I'm terrified that he'll be labeled in a negative manner.

We got the letter from the doctor. Now, they've set a meeting. I have

no dea what to expect. Are they going to expect me to plead my case?

Will they be supportive or skeptical of the whole diagnosis? Will I

be seen as a stage mom? Will my son be seen as a burden? What

accomoadations are reasonable?

My son's OCD centers around " things going away forever " . His past

rituals were: spinning his arms to wind up and make his blood go

faster so he wouldn't die (started at 5, obviously makes little

sense), refusing the erase pencil marks, having to reverse or repeat

a sequence if he made a mistake or got scolded, etc. He is a

perfectionist who completes tasks very slowly. Times tests in math

are the worst.

So, I guess that I ask for forgiveness of morning tardiness, more

time to complete math tests...and ?????? I have no idea!

Kris

[Guest guest]

-Hi : Don't fear this meeting. It is the right step to take to

bring school personnel on board. In my experience (my son's first

504 meeting was in the 3rd grade) these meetings are good for all

concerned. The teachers are generally helpful once they're asked to

be helpful, and once they understand a little more about OCD. A lot

of teachers do not know anything about OCD and are mystified by a

child's behavior. A lot of times, these children are right in front

of them, but they don't know what to look for. Once they are clued

in and educated about it, things go a lot more smoothly. There is a

lot of information in Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive

Behavior by Tamar Chansky about how to handle the school situation.

Also, the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation (ocfoundation.org) has a

package that is specifically for school personnel (teachers and

administrators). I've always given copies of this kind of

information to the schools and teachers I've encountered.

The 504 meeting is a lot less formal than an IEP, and allows you as

the parent to ask for whatever you think will work for your child.

In my case, there were times he did half days, took lunch out to the

car with me, I met him on the playground, etc., whatever it took to

keep him in school and having a successful education. That is their

goal after all--not just to make every kid conform. Remind them of

this nicely. Their goal is to educate the child, not enforce rules.

The nicer you are about, the nicer they'll be, and it's always better

if they're on your side. As it happens, I'm heading to my own 504

meeting later this week for my son, who is now a sixth grader.

Ask for whatever you think your child needs! When you ask for the

teachers to invest in your child's progress, they are usually very

supportive and nuturing toward your child. Especially elementary

school teachers. Good luck.

-- In , " e " <akdelgado@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi,

>

> My son is 8 and was diagnosed with OCD at 6. He's come a long way,

> but anxiety gets in the way at school. His teacher works with him

> really well and suggested a 504 plan. She had to coax us, but I

came

> to see that it was better then trying to explain to a new teacher

> each year. I'm terrified that he'll be labeled in a negative

manner.

>

> We got the letter from the doctor. Now, they've set a meeting. I

have

> no dea what to expect. Are they going to expect me to plead my

case?

> Will they be supportive or skeptical of the whole diagnosis? Will I

> be seen as a stage mom? Will my son be seen as a burden? What

> accomoadations are reasonable?

>

> My son's OCD centers around " things going away forever " . His past

> rituals were: spinning his arms to wind up and make his blood go

> faster so he wouldn't die (started at 5, obviously makes little

> sense), refusing the erase pencil marks, having to reverse or

repeat

> a sequence if he made a mistake or got scolded, etc. He is a

> perfectionist who completes tasks very slowly. Times tests in math

> are the worst.

>

> So, I guess that I ask for forgiveness of morning tardiness, more

> time to complete math tests...and ?????? I have no idea!

>

> Kris

>

[Guest guest]

Adding to what said, you've also got the teacher on your side!

She sounds like she'll have some concrete ideas as to what should go

in the 504 Plan, things she probably is already doing " off the

record. " She's right, it saves a bit of explaining to teachers each

year if they have a Plan set up, which gives them guidelines

(accommodations, modifications, etc.) to follow.

You can ask for anything. His present teacher may add to that, back

you up. But have in your own mind *why* you are asking for something

(ex - more time on work, excused tardiness...).

And don't forget about NEXT year. This is setting up for that too.

So feel free to ask about that, will next year have an increased

level of written work, reading.... That can help if there is

something now that he's not doing too bad at, not quite behind...like

if he erases/redoes work now (example) he may need to be allowed

extra time for turning in work.

You might want add that these are all things your family is working

on, you want to get your son past these OC problems eventually but he

does need help right now, with all being supportive. OCD causes

anxiety, stress can make behaviors and anxiety worse, etc. Keep that

in mind to throw in if there's anyone at the meeting who's not as

nice as his teacher appears to be about things to go in a 504 Plan.

With my son, schoolwork was a HUGE problem and I told them I did not

want him stressed, as when he got too overwhelmed/stressed, nothing

got done at all.

Teachers won't look at him negatively for having the plan. My son

had one from 6th grade on. He had an IEP before that (before OCD)

due to needing speech therapy. But his 4th grade teacher felt he

needed accommodations for some other things, we got an OT eval, and,

wow, they were great about throwing into the IEP all they thought he

needed. So this went with him to 5th grade and it was fine. (short

version!)

Anyway, already sounds like you'll have a good meeting! Let us know

how things turn out!

>

> -Hi : Don't fear this meeting. It is the right step to take

to

> bring school personnel on board. In my experience (my son's first

> 504 meeting was in the 3rd grade) these meetings are good for all

> concerned. The teachers are generally helpful once they're asked

to