Re: I WANT THE GROUP TO KNOW THE GROUP TO KNOW

[Guest guest]

Just a thought. There are co-dependent people "on the wagon" -- the tendency and deep feelings of personal inadequacy never go away -- like an alcoholics predisposition for licquor hangs around, a continuing threat.

You need an avocate. I wish you the best.

----- Original Message -----

From: LAURIE

Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 8:32 PM

Subject: [] I WANT THE GROUP TO KNOW THE GROUP TO KNOW

went the nerologist today , there is a good chance that i have smallperipheral neuropathy, i did labs because it could be do to thepacreatitus and poor absorbsion of vit,or maybe the onset of diabetiesor even do to hep. c. which i have anti bodies 4 but im not active,bottom line is he told me that i have to face the fact that i willprobly never be pain free and the 2 spinal fusions have twisted andmessed my body up,my foot doc pretty much said the same thing, itsalmost like telling u your life is fucked, sorry im just reallyupset,so im glad i just read what u sent me because it was right on time.there is more to my situation that i dont know if i mentioned, i wantthe group to know this,,I HAVE NOT INCULDED ALL THE INFORMATION OF MY LIVING SITUATION,THATHAS MUCH TO DO WITH MY HEALTH ,I FEEL STUCK, BAD RELATIONSHIP ABUSIVE, VERBAL AND MENTAL GAMES HE MAKES ME FEEL GULTY. I AM ACODEPENDENT, AND IVE BEEN DIOGNOSED,HE KNOWS THIS,HE TELLS ME IM AJOB AND HE GOES TO WORK JUST TO FEED ME, NO LOVE NOTHING TO LOOKFORWARD TOO,(HIS WORDS) PLUS HES GETTING SICK TRYING TO PULL OFF THEWORKING AND TAKING CARE OF ME,MY 3 CATS AND MY DOG,( I DO AS MUCH AS ICAN,)PLUS HE FEEDS ALL MY OUTSIDE CRITTERS,WITCH IS SOMETHING I LOVEDTO DO BUT CANT NOW .,HE THINKS(HE HAS MANAGED TO MAKE ME COMPLETELYDEPENDENT ON HIM,MY FAULT) BY THRETENING TO LEAVE ID BE UNABLE TOSURVIVE BUT IN TRUTH,IN MY HEART, I KNOW ID BE FREE,BUT I CANT LETHIM GO ,TRYED AND IT TURNS INTO IVE USED HIM 4 ,7 YEARS ,, ITS TOXIC ICANT FIGHTROOMMATE WHOS HOUSE I LIVE IN IS FIGHTING COLON AND LIVER CANCER, IDONT PAY RENT BECAUSE I DONT BRING IN ENOUGH INCOME,ILL LEAVE IT AT THAT, I TRUELY TRYING TO FOCUS ON HEALING MYSELF, BUTMY MIND IS WORKING OVERTIME,TRYING TO USE '"THE POWER OF NOW" BYECHART TOOLE, BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE NO SKILL TO REMEMBER AND APPLY,LOVE TO U.LAURIE

[Guest guest]

Hello Laurie,

I am really sorry honey, that you have been put through all of this, and basically physical pain plus mental agony and emotional abuse,together ,they really don't help the general state of wellness.Even though ,I ponder this a lot, why bad things keep happening to good people,I tend to try to find answers on situations in life in a different ways.

There are always more then one way to see a problem or situation, you can choose to see it through emotional lenses, or you can see it through a spiritual perspective. When we choose to see things through emotional point of view, we get hooked on feelings, emotions and we are automatically thrown on a hurricane of mix perceptions. When we choose a spiritual outlook, we can see why this is happening, what do I need to learn with this, why I am allowing myself to go through this?Is there something I need and want to change in my life right now?

It is certainly not easy to do, but it is an exercise of detachment from those hooks that really don't bring any light and relieve to ourselves. More then once in my life I faced the fact that, even adopting this point of view, I mean the spiritual approach, I was completely destitute of actions. What I did was I accepted the fact that in this particular case I could not change the situation in order to avoid Pain and suffering, but I could yes, get familiar with the "non comfortable at all" sensation that I lost my ground. Many times I had this experiences, in facing adversity.. .the best wayi found was to stop, grief and accept that sometimes we can't change anything and make a resolution to endure while the storm passes.

Good thing is, nothing lasts forever.

In my agony, I also improved a personal technique, result of many many years as a Catholic... I learn how to offer my suffering, my physical pain, my mental distress, even a head ache..I offer that to the source, as a "sacrifice " so though my personal pain, others could be spared of it. I also offer my happiness , my acomplishments and contentement...not only bad things...don't take me wrong.

Personally,I felt that very big amounts of physical pain got "out of my system" after doing this as a regular practice, and today I can say to you, I live a regular life , even suffering form a condition Called RSD, extremely painful , and I ride it without pain killers , since I am allergic to them.

I am not saying to do what I do, those are a result of personal choices I have made for myself, but as you did, I also wanted to share.

There is one observation that I want to make here, There is a very relevant different between pain and suffering...Pain , it seems to me is a part of a situation that you can't avoid, but you can avoid the continuation of suffering ; I mean, what I understand with the sufferings resulting from pain, your attitude, your outlook, your decisions they are the ones that would determine what sufferings (or not) you will embrace in your life and allow to continue.I can explain...If somebody do something that is wrong to you,and caused you pain, what to do with his pain is your choice, you can linger in hate or deception or you can just decide that you no longer want to keeo this feeling inside and learn to let go, transforming this situation, maybe accepting that this person had no consciousness of what they were doing to you, and could not see how they affected us.Sometimes is just a matter of acknowledging others limitations, and taking out of you the responsability to teach them anything.I am serious, there are people out there that actually don't know how to love ( at least , it seems like it).

To linger on those places of being ,like any other thing, this also comes with a price, and the payment can be a permanent state of unhappiness and a sensation that nothing really is going to work, low self esteem and decrese of faith.

I am willing to work with you in different ways, besides and I , we have been talking on combining a series of practices that can relieve this, or at least make you feel stronger and better upon certain situations and facts that you can't change right now. It is not a miracle work, but I am open for any suggestions .

Know that I LOVE YOU,You as my friend, you are extremely important to me,

and I am here to help,

in any case, always..

>> went the nerologist today , there is a good chance that i have small> peripheral neuropathy, i did labs because it could be do to the> pacreatitus and poor absorbsion of vit,or maybe the onset of diabeties> or even do to hep. c. which i have anti bodies 4 but im not active,> bottom line is he told me that i have to face the fact that i will> probly never be pain free and the 2 spinal fusions have twisted and> messed my body up,my foot doc pretty much said the same thing, its> almost like telling u your life is fucked, sorry im just really> upset,so im glad i just read what u sent me because it was right on time.> there is more to my situation that i dont know if i mentioned, i want> the group to know this,> ,I HAVE NOT INCULDED ALL THE INFORMATION OF MY LIVING SITUATION,THAT> HAS MUCH TO DO WITH MY HEALTH ,I FEEL STUCK, BAD RELATIONSHIP > ABUSIVE, VERBAL AND MENTAL GAMES HE MAKES ME FEEL GULTY. I AM A> CODEPENDENT, AND IVE BEEN DIOGNOSED,HE KNOWS THIS,HE TELLS ME IM A> JOB AND HE GOES TO WORK JUST TO FEED ME, NO LOVE NOTHING TO LOOK> FORWARD TOO,(HIS WORDS) PLUS HES GETTING SICK TRYING TO PULL OFF THE> WORKING AND TAKING CARE OF ME,MY 3 CATS AND MY DOG,( I DO AS MUCH AS I> CAN,)PLUS HE FEEDS ALL MY OUTSIDE CRITTERS,WITCH IS SOMETHING I LOVED> TO DO BUT CANT NOW .,HE THINKS(HE HAS MANAGED TO MAKE ME COMPLETELY> DEPENDENT ON HIM,MY FAULT) BY THRETENING TO LEAVE ID BE UNABLE TO> SURVIVE BUT IN TRUTH,IN MY HEART, I KNOW ID BE FREE,BUT I CANT LET> HIM GO ,TRYED AND IT TURNS INTO IVE USED HIM 4 ,7 YEARS ,, ITS TOXIC I> CANT FIGHT> ROOMMATE WHOS HOUSE I LIVE IN IS FIGHTING COLON AND LIVER CANCER, I> DONT PAY RENT BECAUSE I DONT BRING IN ENOUGH INCOME,> ILL LEAVE IT AT THAT, I TRUELY TRYING TO FOCUS ON HEALING MYSELF, BUT> MY MIND IS WORKING OVERTIME,TRYING TO USE '"THE POWER OF NOW" BY> ECHART TOOLE, BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE NO SKILL TO REMEMBER AND APPLY,> LOVE TO U.> LAURIE>

[Guest guest]

THANK U SO, MUCH, I LOVE U GUYS, LAURIElianeqrz_legey <butterflygris@...> wrote: Hello Laurie, I am really sorry honey, that you have been put through all of this, and basically physical pain plus mental agony and emotional abuse,together ,they really don't help the general state of wellness.Even though ,I ponder this a lot, why bad things keep happening to good people,I tend to try to find answers on situations in life

in a different ways. There are always more then one way to see a problem or situation, you can choose to see it through emotional lenses, or you can see it through a spiritual perspective. When we choose to see things through emotional point of view, we get hooked on feelings, emotions and we are automatically thrown on a hurricane of mix perceptions. When we choose a spiritual outlook, we can see why this is happening, what do I need to learn with this, why I am allowing myself to go through this?Is there something I need and want to change in my life right now? It is certainly not easy to do, but it is an exercise of detachment from those hooks that really don't bring any light and relieve to ourselves. More then once in my life I faced the fact that, even adopting this point of view, I mean the spiritual approach, I was completely destitute of actions. What I did was I accepted the fact that

in this particular case I could not change the situation in order to avoid Pain and suffering, but I could yes, get familiar with the "non comfortable at all" sensation that I lost my ground. Many times I had this experiences, in facing adversity.. .the best wayi found was to stop, grief and accept that sometimes we can't change anything and make a resolution to endure while the storm passes. Good thing is, nothing lasts forever. In my agony, I also improved a personal technique, result of many many years as a Catholic... I learn how to offer my suffering, my physical pain, my mental distress, even a head ache..I offer that to the source, as a "sacrifice " so though my personal pain, others could be spared of it. I also offer my happiness , my acomplishments and contentement...not only bad

things...don't take me wrong. Personally,I felt that very big amounts of physical pain got "out of my system" after doing this as a regular practice, and today I can say to you, I live a regular life , even suffering form a condition Called RSD, extremely painful , and I ride it without pain killers , since I am allergic to them. I am not saying to do what I do, those are a result of personal choices I have made for myself, but as you did, I also wanted to share. There is one observation that I want to make here, There is a very relevant different between pain and suffering...Pain , it seems to me is a part of a situation that you can't avoid, but you can avoid the continuation of suffering ; I mean, what I understand with the sufferings resulting from pain, your attitude, your outlook, your decisions they are

the ones that would determine what sufferings (or not) you will embrace in your life and allow to continue.I can explain...If somebody do something that is wrong to you,and caused you pain, what to do with his pain is your choice, you can linger in hate or deception or you can just decide that you no longer want to keeo this feeling inside and learn to let go, transforming this situation, maybe accepting that this person had no consciousness of what they were doing to you, and could not see how they affected us.Sometimes is just a matter of acknowledging others limitations, and taking out of you the responsability to teach them anything.I am serious, there are people out there that actually don't know how to love ( at least , it seems like it). To linger on those places of being ,like any other thing, this also comes with a price, and the payment can be a permanent state of unhappiness and a sensation

that nothing really is going to work, low self esteem and decrese of faith. I am willing to work with you in different ways, besides and I , we have been talking on combining a series of practices that can relieve this, or at least make you feel stronger and better upon certain situations and facts that you can't change right now. It is not a miracle work, but I am open for any suggestions . Know that I LOVE YOU,You as my friend, you are extremely important to me, and I am here to help, in any case, always.. >> went the nerologist today , there is a good chance that i have small> peripheral neuropathy, i did labs because it could be do to the>

pacreatitus and poor absorbsion of vit,or maybe the onset of diabeties> or even do to hep. c. which i have anti bodies 4 but im not active,> bottom line is he told me that i have to face the fact that i will> probly never be pain free and the 2 spinal fusions have twisted and> messed my body up,my foot doc pretty much said the same thing, its> almost like telling u your life is fucked, sorry im just really> upset,so im glad i just read what u sent me because it was right on time.> there is more to my situation that i dont know if i mentioned, i want> the group to know this,> ,I HAVE NOT INCULDED ALL THE INFORMATION OF MY LIVING SITUATION,THAT> HAS MUCH TO DO WITH MY HEALTH ,I FEEL STUCK, BAD RELATIONSHIP > ABUSIVE, VERBAL AND MENTAL GAMES HE MAKES ME FEEL GULTY. I AM A> CODEPENDENT, AND IVE BEEN DIOGNOSED,HE KNOWS THIS,HE TELLS ME IM A> JOB AND HE GOES TO WORK JUST TO FEED ME, NO

LOVE NOTHING TO LOOK> FORWARD TOO,(HIS WORDS) PLUS HES GETTING SICK TRYING TO PULL OFF THE> WORKING AND TAKING CARE OF ME,MY 3 CATS AND MY DOG,( I DO AS MUCH AS I> CAN,)PLUS HE FEEDS ALL MY OUTSIDE CRITTERS,WITCH IS SOMETHING I LOVED> TO DO BUT CANT NOW .,HE THINKS(HE HAS MANAGED TO MAKE ME COMPLETELY> DEPENDENT ON HIM,MY FAULT) BY THRETENING TO LEAVE ID BE UNABLE TO> SURVIVE BUT IN TRUTH,IN MY HEART, I KNOW ID BE FREE,BUT I CANT LET> HIM GO ,TRYED AND IT TURNS INTO IVE USED HIM 4 ,7 YEARS ,, ITS TOXIC I> CANT FIGHT> ROOMMATE WHOS HOUSE I LIVE IN IS FIGHTING COLON AND LIVER CANCER, I> DONT PAY RENT BECAUSE I DONT BRING IN ENOUGH INCOME,> ILL LEAVE IT AT THAT, I TRUELY TRYING TO FOCUS ON HEALING MYSELF, BUT> MY MIND IS WORKING OVERTIME,TRYING TO USE '"THE POWER OF NOW" BY> ECHART TOOLE, BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE NO SKILL TO REMEMBER AND APPLY,> LOVE TO U.>

LAURIE> To worry, is like wishing for something you don't want !

[Guest guest]

I KNOW THIS,ILL TELL U A STORY LATER, IM OUT OF IT THIS AM ,THE NUROLGIST SUGGESTED I TRY TAKING LYRICA FOR THE NERVE PAIN, ITS GOT ME STUPID, LAURIEEVELYN BELL <beleve2005@...> wrote: Just a thought. There are co-dependent people "on the wagon" -- the tendency and deep feelings of personal inadequacy never go away -- like an alcoholics predisposition for licquor hangs around, a continuing threat. You need an

avocate. I wish you the best. ----- Original Message ----- From: LAURIE Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 8:32 PM Subject: [] I WANT THE GROUP TO KNOW THE GROUP TO KNOW went the nerologist today , there is a good chance that i have smallperipheral neuropathy, i did labs because it could be do to thepacreatitus and poor absorbsion of vit,or

maybe the onset of diabetiesor even do to hep. c. which i have anti bodies 4 but im not active,bottom line is he told me that i have to face the fact that i willprobly never be pain free and the 2 spinal fusions have twisted andmessed my body up,my foot doc pretty much said the same thing, itsalmost like telling u your life is fucked, sorry im just reallyupset,so im glad i just read what u sent me because it was right on time.there is more to my situation that i dont know if i mentioned, i wantthe group to know this,,I HAVE NOT INCULDED ALL THE INFORMATION OF MY LIVING SITUATION,THATHAS MUCH TO DO WITH MY HEALTH ,I FEEL STUCK, BAD RELATIONSHIP ABUSIVE, VERBAL AND MENTAL GAMES HE MAKES ME FEEL GULTY. I AM ACODEPENDENT, AND IVE BEEN DIOGNOSED,HE KNOWS THIS,HE TELLS ME IM AJOB AND HE GOES TO WORK JUST TO FEED ME, NO LOVE NOTHING TO LOOKFORWARD TOO,(HIS WORDS) PLUS HES GETTING SICK TRYING TO PULL OFF THEWORKING AND

TAKING CARE OF ME,MY 3 CATS AND MY DOG,( I DO AS MUCH AS ICAN,)PLUS HE FEEDS ALL MY OUTSIDE CRITTERS,WITCH IS SOMETHING I LOVEDTO DO BUT CANT NOW .,HE THINKS(HE HAS MANAGED TO MAKE ME COMPLETELYDEPENDENT ON HIM,MY FAULT) BY THRETENING TO LEAVE ID BE UNABLE TOSURVIVE BUT IN TRUTH,IN MY HEART, I KNOW ID BE FREE,BUT I CANT LETHIM GO ,TRYED AND IT TURNS INTO IVE USED HIM 4 ,7 YEARS ,, ITS TOXIC ICANT FIGHTROOMMATE WHOS HOUSE I LIVE IN IS FIGHTING COLON AND LIVER CANCER, IDONT PAY RENT BECAUSE I DONT BRING IN ENOUGH INCOME,ILL LEAVE IT AT THAT, I TRUELY TRYING TO FOCUS ON HEALING MYSELF, BUTMY MIND IS WORKING OVERTIME,TRYING TO USE '"THE POWER OF NOW" BYECHART TOOLE, BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE NO SKILL TO REMEMBER AND APPLY,LOVE TO U.LAURIE To worry, is like wishing for something you don't want !