Re: Re: New to group (For )

[Guest guest]

Hi , It sounds to me like you have come to a good place. I was a victim and learned that the biggest person I needed to forgive was myself. Why? It is the should have's and could have's that drug my spirit into the dirt. It was something that not even professional counseling could fix. I needed to deal with it between me and God, my creator, maker of my life. Unfortunately, your father is not being rational. Before every miracle that Jesus did in the bible you know what he showed compassion. Compassion and love how incredibly wonderful and powerful is that? God does not want you to come to him under durress. He wants you to turn to him because you

know deep in your heart that he loves you and wants nothing but the best for you. Looks at you with eyes of love and total compassion and understanding. God is so kind, so loving, so wonderful! I can say that to you and mean it for I know it to be true! So I am going to share something I did that helped me. It was not easy by no means. I made time by myself with no interruptions and asked God to show me all the things I was mad at myself over. To bring them to my mind.I also invited God's holy spirit and all the angels and if it was in heaven it got invited. And he did just that. And as he brought the memories to my mind I would say outloud I forgive myself for..and name it. The thing is he will not bring it to your mind unless it is something that you are ready to let go of. I cried buckets it was a journey of self

discovery. It was very healing. Some of the things I was mad at myself for, was the I should have done this, and I should have done that, and I should have fought, and I should have, should have, should have, could have but didn't why didn't I.... Once I started this journey the rest became easier. I can remember certain memories now with no pain, it's all gone, like an infected splinter deep in your soul that got removed. Try it see how it goes. We are all here for you! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Warm Healing Hugs, EVELYN BELL <beleve2005@...> wrote: Dear , it's such a common TRAP, the one you fell into. Or should I say, "couple of traps." Bless your heart. And a minister's kid to thicken the plot! Girl, you got it all handed to you on a platter -- what kind of mess you'd have to deal with and call it YOUR responsibility to make it smell like a rosebush. (Hey, hey -- it wasn't hay that made the rosebush grow!) I'd like to thump the head of anyone who thinks a victim really gets some jollys from playing the role. Yeh, that makes it easy for them to victimize, or to side with victimizers. You've got to be your own best friend, and I'm pulling for you -- I hope

you get all the spiritual help you be needing. It's a long road ahead, but you'll find strength where you never expected to! Without and within. Bless you, friend. Sincerely, Evy ----- Original Message ----- From: Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 3:27 AM Subject: Re: [] Re: New to group Thank you Liane! It means a lot. Right now I'mnot in too good a place. Feeling kinda down about some choices I made in my past. And I am not sure how to "let go" of the negativity surrounding these situations. I don't want to be a victim any longer. And it's difficult to explain to my family (especially my dad) why I made those choices. He just doesn't seem to understand. In fact he takes the opposite approach and tells me I ask to be treated the way I've been. He doesn't take any responsability for why I made those decisions. He is an ordained minister. I love church and having faith, however my dad tells me I'm not doing enough and reminds me of the mistakes I made and feels I had the choice to change what happened. He doesn't understand and doesn't want to either. I was in an abusive

marriage. This man isolated me from all of my friends and family, made it seem like all I had was him and his parents. I have 2 children from a previous marraige and untill Jan '04 I had custody. Now, because of the 2nd husband I have monitored visits and my children's father moved to a different state making visitation pretty difficult. Right now I am feeling so lost and a like a complete failure. That's the condensed version of my brokenness. I want to be whole, don't want to "plot" (in my head) ways to get even with my childrens father. I just want to live, have a life and if my children come home then that's a bonus! Thanks for listening. Blessings Domestic Violence is a Crime! Be silent NO more! Be safe & Blessed! ~A~ ----- Original Message

----From: lianeqrz_legey <butterflygrisgmail> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 12:09:14 AMSubject: [] Re: New to group Hello , Welcome to our family...it is great to see you here , and we are all here to learn with each other's experiences and support. Please feel free to post your questions, thoughts , and any thing you think it is inspirational, (including jokes, because humor and laughs are always welcome here.It is just great that you start talking with us. One more time, welcome to our little "growing" family. A big welcome hug for you Love and blessings, Liane >> Hello everyone. I am new to this group. I wanted to say that so far I > love this site and what it represents. I have been through many things > in life that has blocked me from following the correct path. I still > struggle from those issues today. For now I take things one day at a > time. Blessings. ~A~> Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for your words and suggestion. It is something I have done in the past. It is difficult to go through that process. I have to remind myself why I am here and why I was put through the things I was. Sometimes I don't feel worthy of God's love or compassion.I have made so many mistakes because I thought MY way was better. Boy did I see that doing it my way really cost me things that were most important to me; my children. I am not sure that I will forgive myself. I failed my children; failed to protect them. I gave my 7yr old a choice (a grown up decision) and I honored him but I should not have allowed him to make an adult decision. I hope in time I can forgive myself for brining an abusive man into my home. I try, it feels impossible though. I was on a path of self destruct and I took my kids down with me. How shameful of me. I ask for forgiveness every

day. A big piece of me is missing without my children. I often wish the things that were done to my children were done to me to spare them the pain they are now going through. I want to take their pain away but I am the one that caused it. There are many things that happened that I have guilt over and am not sure how to give it up. I feel I deserve it because of what happened to my children.

Blessings!

~A~

Domestic Violence is a Crime! Be silent NO more! Be safe & Blessed! ~A~

----- Original Message ----From: <marerob_2000@...> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 1:59:31 AMSubject: Re: [] Re: New to group (For )

Hi ,

It sounds to me like you have come to a good place.

I was a victim and learned that the biggest person I needed to forgive was myself. Why? It is the should

have's and could have's that drug my spirit into the

dirt. It was something that not even professional counseling could fix. I needed to deal with it between

me and God, my creator, maker of my life.

Unfortunately, your father is not being rational. Before

every miracle that Jesus did in the bible you know what he showed compassion. Compassion and love how incredibly wonderful and powerful is that? God does not want you to come to him under durress. He wants you to turn to him because you know deep in your heart

that he loves you and wants nothing but the best for you.

Looks at you with eyes of love and total compassion and understanding. God is so kind, so loving, so wonderful!

I can say that to you and mean it for I know it to be true!

So I am going to share something I did that helped me. It was not easy by no means. I made time by myself with no interruptions and asked God to show me all the things I was mad at myself over. To bring them to my mind.I also invited God's holy spirit and all the angels and if it was in heaven it got invited. And he did just that. And as he brought the memories to my mind I would say outloud I forgive myself for..and name it. The thing is he will not bring it to your mind unless it is something that you are ready to let go of. I cried buckets it was a journey of self discovery. It was very healing. Some of the things I was mad at myself for, was the I should have done this, and I should have done that, and I should have fought, and I should have, should have, should have, could have but didn't why didn't I.... Once I started this journey the rest became

easier. I can remember certain memories now with no pain, it's all gone, like an infected splinter deep in your soul that got removed. Try it see how it goes. We are all here for you!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Warm Healing Hugs,

EVELYN BELL <beleve2005@peoplepc .com> wrote:

Dear , it's such a common TRAP, the one you fell into. Or should I say, "couple of traps." Bless your heart.

And a minister's kid to thicken the plot! Girl, you got it all handed to you on a platter -- what kind of mess you'd have to deal with and call it YOUR responsibility to make it smell like a rosebush. (Hey, hey -- it wasn't hay that made the rosebush grow!)

I'd like to thump the head of anyone who thinks a victim really gets some jollys from playing the role. Yeh, that makes it easy for them to victimize, or to side with victimizers. You've got to be your own best friend, and I'm pulling for you -- I hope you get all the spiritual help you be needing. It's a long road ahead, but you'll find strength where you never expected to! Without and within.

Bless you, friend.

Sincerely, Evy

----- Original Message -----

From:

Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 3:27 AM

Subject: Re: [] Re: New to group

Thank you Liane! It means a lot. Right now I'mnot in too good a place. Feeling kinda down about some choices I made in my past. And I am not sure how to "let go" of the negativity surrounding these situations. I don't want to be a victim any longer. And it's difficult to explain to my family (especially my dad) why I made those choices. He just doesn't seem to understand. In fact he takes the opposite approach and tells me I ask to be treated the way I've been. He doesn't take any responsability for why I made those decisions. He is an ordained minister. I love church and having faith, however my dad tells me I'm not doing enough and reminds me of the mistakes I made and feels I had the choice to change what happened. He doesn't understand and doesn't want to either. I was in an abusive marriage. This man isolated me from all of my friends and family, made it

seem like all I had was him and his parents. I have 2 children from a previous marraige and untill Jan '04 I had custody. Now, because of the 2nd husband I have monitored visits and my children's father moved to a different state making visitation pretty difficult. Right now I am feeling so lost and a like a complete failure. That's the condensed version of my brokenness. I want to be whole, don't want to "plot" (in my head) ways to get even with my childrens father. I just want to live, have a life and if my children come home then that's a bonus! Thanks for listening. Blessings

Domestic Violence is a Crime! Be silent NO more! Be safe & Blessed! ~A~

----- Original Message ----From: lianeqrz_legey <butterflygris@ gmail.com>Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 12:09:14 AMSubject: [] Re: New to group

Hello ,

Welcome to our family...it is great to see you here , and we are all here to learn with each other's experiences and support. Please feel free to post your questions, thoughts , and any thing you think it is inspirational, (including jokes, because humor and laughs are always welcome here.It is just great that you start talking with us. One more time, welcome to our little "growing" family.

A big welcome hug for you

Love and blessings,

Liane

>> Hello everyone. I am new to this group. I wanted to say that so far I > love this site and what it represents. I have been through many things > in life that has blocked me from following the correct path. I still > struggle from those issues today. For now I take things one day at a > time. Blessings. ~A~>

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