Re: Ilena, angels, life story and ruptured silicone implants

[Guest guest]

Dear Rhonda

It sounds like you have been through some very very hard times both

physcially and emotionally. I can see how you could be very

demoralized at this point, however I sense a strong uncrushable

spirit within you! I am so sorry for all that has happened to you

and I will say a prayer for guidance and direction in your life. I

know you feel defeated now, but I like to remember the saying that

it is always darkest before the dawn. How can we help and support

you? Let us know. We will try to be here for you in any way we can.

Blessings,

kathy

> Dear ,

>

> I agree and I hope Patty knows she is one of those angels I

referred. It has to be tough to inspire so many trying so hard to

be so good going in all directions and she does a great job.

>

> Yes I had Sugitek and was ruptured and sick when Dr. Kolb agreed

to see me and my former spouse in her office for consultation.

Surgery was scheduled and I took antibiotics for a long time to get

strong enough for my surgery while following a recommended pre op

protocol.

>

> Dr. Kolb did an amazing and thorough job explaining to me and my

ex how lucky I was to be alive. She intrigued me with her open

discussion about Silicone exposure and toxic illnesses and I have

not stopped researching it to this day.

>

> Sadly, after our consult and my ultra sound and prior to surgery

my ex smashed me in the chest with a side table in a fit of anger.

It was discovered during my nine hour surgery that my rupture was

more severe. Dr. Kolb's extra care and hard work picking out all the

silicone she could find saved my life and I love her for all she has

done for so many.

>

> I see her regularly and feel I should remain close by her for

continued care. I also have an eye surgeon that has worked very hard

to maintain my vision and supported me during this most difficult

time.

>

> I am now divorced having suffered other injuries as well. For

some time now I have lived like a cockroach for fear of being found

and tormented. I am lead to speak of this openly now perhaps it

will be good for me emotionally or help someone else. Divorced with

no persoanl contact unless through legal means I strive to keep my

physical address and phone private to be on the safe side.

>

> Financially I am shot down and I fear he has won in his threats to

starve me out financially. I might could work part time but cannot

get anywhere since I have put off car repairs and some needed

changes until it may be too late, time is not on my side now.

>

> His appeal to pay me my part of the divorce settlement denies me

medical care and access to funds for necessity of life. It would not

recover my total cash losses in the money liek my life savings I

gave him afer we married, but it would give me stress relief as I

could pay my rent and look for work with a clear mind. I could pay

my cobra premium too.

>

> He gains nothing tangible from his appeal, only the satisfaction

of knowing I am being hurt. I received copies of prayers with my

alimony payments which coincides with my lifestyle with him prior to

leaving. Reading the bible every night was a must no matter what the

day's events.

>

> God and love are used as tools to win trust and people do take

what you have and will hurt you if you are not careful.

> My lesson in short and a very costly one to boot.

> I remain optimistic that such things do not go without notice.

Almighty can handle it in His time and I try to look at it like

this, had he not been this way and had I not been that way, I would

not be where I am and my life's purpose may have a better

opportunity to emerge in the end. It is the hope I hold to.

>

> At times I was forced to fight to survive and balance and

gratitude have sustained me in my spiritual growth and sadly and

honestly the past few weeks for so many reasons I feel dead inside

as my free spirit feels broken, sad, and defeated as if he won.

>

> Important bills like rent and insurance do not wait and none of us

are asking too much to try and get this part of our lives sorted so

we can move to the next level are we?

>

> Per the reports I read I can understand suicide as it is the door

without financial blocks. A kind word or our faith a hug or a hand

up might help but since I am no good at asking for help I need

councel in this area.

> Collectively we are probably the strongest group anywhere and

gathered under one roof we could move mountains. Perhaps that day

will come and we will all have the bare necessities we need to move

forward.

>

> The idea to put things in storage and finding a good friend in NC

to go back to my NC homeplace takes me away from my doctors. I

admit I am lost in knowing how to ask for help and could use some

sage advice in this area for sure.

>

> It is good to know that people are here that can find the good in

us all and I wish to share one personal experience in closing. .....

> A long time I pointed my finger at someone that was telling me

something totally wrong-

> I knew I was supposed to stand up for myself. I was and still am

learning how to be better at it.....

>

> " They said one finger pointing out always makes for three fingers

pointing right back at yourself. "

>

> It gave me good cause for thought on that subject

>

> I need to be reminded of this from time to time as my memory is

bad and my social skills are not so good being alone all the time, I

am sure.

>

> I love and appreciate you all so much

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda, you are a real trooper, and I am so sorry for what you are going through. Im reading your post, like OMG! You have been through so much, I pray that God will protect you in these hard times and bless you in the utmost. I am so glad you came out of surgery ok. And I am also glad you had at least one good experience, with your explant that is- with Dr Kolb. I like to say she did miracles on me, as well. I am praying for you. Your friend

Re: Ilena, angels, life story and ruptured silicone implants

Dear RhondaIt sounds like you have been through some very very hard times both physcially and emotionally. I can see how you could be very demoralized at this point, however I sense a strong uncrushable spirit within you! I am so sorry for all that has happened to you and I will say a prayer for guidance and direction in your life. I know you feel defeated now, but I like to remember the saying that it is always darkest before the dawn. How can we help and support you? Let us know. We will try to be here for you in any way we can.Blessings, kathy> Dear ,> > I agree and I hope Patty knows she is one of those angels I referred. It has to be tough to inspire so many trying so hard to be so good going in all directions and she does a great job.> > Yes I had Sugitek and was ruptured and sick when Dr. Kolb agreed to see me and my former spouse in her office for consultation. Surgery was scheduled and I took antibiotics for a long time to get strong enough for my surgery while following a recommended pre op protocol.> > Dr. Kolb did an amazing and thorough job explaining to me and my ex how lucky I was to be alive. She intrigued me with her open discussion about Silicone exposure and toxic illnesses and I have not stopped researching it to this day.> > Sadly, after our consult and my ultra sound and prior to surgery my ex smashed me in the chest with a side table in a fit of anger. It was discovered during my nine hour surgery that my rupture was more severe. Dr. Kolb's extra care and hard work picking out all the silicone she could find saved my life and I love her for all she has done for so many. > > I see her regularly and feel I should remain close by her for continued care. I also have an eye surgeon that has worked very hard to maintain my vision and supported me during this most difficult time.> > I am now divorced having suffered other injuries as well. For some time now I have lived like a cockroach for fear of being found and tormented. I am lead to speak of this openly now perhaps it will be good for me emotionally or help someone else. Divorced with no persoanl contact unless through legal means I strive to keep my physical address and phone private to be on the safe side. > > Financially I am shot down and I fear he has won in his threats to starve me out financially. I might could work part time but cannot get anywhere since I have put off car repairs and some needed changes until it may be too late, time is not on my side now.> > His appeal to pay me my part of the divorce settlement denies me medical care and access to funds for necessity of life. It would not recover my total cash losses in the money liek my life savings I gave him afer we married, but it would give me stress relief as I could pay my rent and look for work with a clear mind. I could pay my cobra premium too.> > He gains nothing tangible from his appeal, only the satisfaction of knowing I am being hurt. I received copies of prayers with my alimony payments which coincides with my lifestyle with him prior to leaving. Reading the bible every night was a must no matter what the day's events.> > God and love are used as tools to win trust and people do take what you have and will hurt you if you are not careful.> My lesson in short and a very costly one to boot.> I remain optimistic that such things do not go without notice. Almighty can handle it in His time and I try to look at it like this, had he not been this way and had I not been that way, I would not be where I am and my life's purpose may have a better opportunity to emerge in the end. It is the hope I hold to.> > At times I was forced to fight to survive and balance and gratitude have sustained me in my spiritual growth and sadly and honestly the past few weeks for so many reasons I feel dead inside as my free spirit feels broken, sad, and defeated as if he won.> > Important bills like rent and insurance do not wait and none of us are asking too much to try and get this part of our lives sorted so we can move to the next level are we?> > Per the reports I read I can understand suicide as it is the door without financial blocks. A kind word or our faith a hug or a hand up might help but since I am no good at asking for help I need councel in this area.> Collectively we are probably the strongest group anywhere and gathered under one roof we could move mountains. Perhaps that day will come and we will all have the bare necessities we need to move forward. > > The idea to put things in storage and finding a good friend in NC to go back to my NC homeplace takes me away from my doctors. I admit I am lost in knowing how to ask for help and could use some sage advice in this area for sure.> > It is good to know that people are here that can find the good in us all and I wish to share one personal experience in closing. .....> A long time I pointed my finger at someone that was telling me something totally wrong- > I knew I was supposed to stand up for myself. I was and still am learning how to be better at it.....> > "They said one finger pointing out always makes for three fingers pointing right back at yourself."> > It gave me good cause for thought on that subject> > I need to be reminded of this from time to time as my memory is bad and my social skills are not so good being alone all the time, I am sure.> > I love and appreciate you all so much> Rhonda> >

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

I'm praying for you too! As I do for all the women here. We're all

here for a reason. I know God lead me here so that I could get

help. I may not post a lot, but I read almost every one and I get so

much out of them.

Thanks for pointing out that Patty is an angel...she truly is!

Love ya.

Pam

> > Dear ,

> >

> > I agree and I hope Patty knows she is one of those angels I

> referred. It has to be tough to inspire so many trying so hard

to

> be so good going in all directions and she does a great job.

> >

> > Yes I had Sugitek and was ruptured and sick when Dr. Kolb

agreed

> to see me and my former spouse in her office for consultation.

> Surgery was scheduled and I took antibiotics for a long time to

get

> strong enough for my surgery while following a recommended pre op

> protocol.

> >

> > Dr. Kolb did an amazing and thorough job explaining to me and

my

> ex how lucky I was to be alive. She intrigued me with her open

> discussion about Silicone exposure and toxic illnesses and I have

> not stopped researching it to this day.

> >

> > Sadly, after our consult and my ultra sound and prior to

surgery

> my ex smashed me in the chest with a side table in a fit of

anger.

> It was discovered during my nine hour surgery that my rupture was

> more severe. Dr. Kolb's extra care and hard work picking out all

the

> silicone she could find saved my life and I love her for all she

has

> done for so many.

> >

> > I see her regularly and feel I should remain close by her for

> continued care. I also have an eye surgeon that has worked very

hard

> to maintain my vision and supported me during this most difficult

> time.

> >

> > I am now divorced having suffered other injuries as well. For

> some time now I have lived like a cockroach for fear of being

found

> and tormented. I am lead to speak of this openly now perhaps it

> will be good for me emotionally or help someone else. Divorced

with

> no persoanl contact unless through legal means I strive to keep

my

> physical address and phone private to be on the safe side.

> >

> > Financially I am shot down and I fear he has won in his threats

to

> starve me out financially. I might could work part time but

cannot

> get anywhere since I have put off car repairs and some needed

> changes until it may be too late, time is not on my side now.

> >

> > His appeal to pay me my part of the divorce settlement denies

me

> medical care and access to funds for necessity of life. It would

not

> recover my total cash losses in the money liek my life savings I

> gave him afer we married, but it would give me stress relief as I

> could pay my rent and look for work with a clear mind. I could

pay

> my cobra premium too.

> >

> > He gains nothing tangible from his appeal, only the

satisfaction

> of knowing I am being hurt. I received copies of prayers with my

> alimony payments which coincides with my lifestyle with him prior

to

> leaving. Reading the bible every night was a must no matter what

the

> day's events.

> >

> > God and love are used as tools to win trust and people do take

> what you have and will hurt you if you are not careful.

> > My lesson in short and a very costly one to boot.

> > I remain optimistic that such things do not go without

notice.

> Almighty can handle it in His time and I try to look at it like

> this, had he not been this way and had I not been that way, I

would

> not be where I am and my life's purpose may have a better

> opportunity to emerge in the end. It is the hope I hold to.

> >

> > At times I was forced to fight to survive and balance and

> gratitude have sustained me in my spiritual growth and sadly and

> honestly the past few weeks for so many reasons I feel dead

inside

> as my free spirit feels broken, sad, and defeated as if he won.

> >

> > Important bills like rent and insurance do not wait and none of

us

> are asking too much to try and get this part of our lives sorted

so

> we can move to the next level are we?

> >

> > Per the reports I read I can understand suicide as it is the

door

> without financial blocks. A kind word or our faith a hug or a

hand

> up might help but since I am no good at asking for help I need

> councel in this area.

> > Collectively we are probably the strongest group anywhere and

> gathered under one roof we could move mountains. Perhaps that day

> will come and we will all have the bare necessities we need to

move

> forward.

> >

> > The idea to put things in storage and finding a good friend in

NC

> to go back to my NC homeplace takes me away from my doctors. I

> admit I am lost in knowing how to ask for help and could use some

> sage advice in this area for sure.

> >

> > It is good to know that people are here that can find the good

in

> us all and I wish to share one personal experience in

closing. .....

> > A long time I pointed my finger at someone that was telling me

> something totally wrong-

> > I knew I was supposed to stand up for myself. I was and still

am

> learning how to be better at it.....

> >

> > " They said one finger pointing out always makes for three

fingers

> pointing right back at yourself. "

> >

> > It gave me good cause for thought on that subject

> >

> > I need to be reminded of this from time to time as my memory

is

> bad and my social skills are not so good being alone all the

time, I

> am sure.

> >

> > I love and appreciate you all so much

> > Rhonda

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

That is horrible, just unfathomable. I don't know that I'd ever want to be with a man again after going through that.

I'm so sorry! You are worth so much more than he made you feel, so much more...in fact, so much that Jesus died for you, He loved you so much! And we do too...

Hugs,

Pattymichelle king <michellerking1@...> wrote:

I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love, __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

That is so horrible! I'm praying that he is far, far from you now.

It's so sad when others play a part in our illness developing. I

wish you all the healing possible!

Love,

Kacey

> I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of

the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me

down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a

jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work

shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Patty, yes, he had paranoid scysophrenia, however you spell it. At the time I would have been afraid to even raise my head if a man walked by. The residual effects have bad me untrustworthy of men. Thus, explains some of my reactions previously...I choose not to be in a relationship at the present time, and since I got sick for several reasons. Mostly because of my Godly lifestyle and higher expectations. I am very happily single and spend all my day focusing on God and going to church functions. God Bless, King.Tricia Trish <glory2glory1401@...> wrote:

,

That is horrible, just unfathomable. I don't know that I'd ever want to be with a man again after going through that.

I'm so sorry! You are worth so much more than he made you feel, so much more...in fact, so much that Jesus died for you, He loved you so much! And we do too...

Hugs,

Pattymichelle king <michellerking1@...> wrote:

I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

, the boyfriend at the time that I was with (the bodybuilder) that I dated for almost 7 years ,was very abusive. When I began dating him, My mother had just got out of a really bad divorce, and right after ,I had to move in with my new step dad and her in their new marriage. I was in the middle of high school , had moved about 2 hours from all my family and childhood friends, and it was a very sorrowful time. That’s where Tom came in. While my mother was almost like a newlywed, I felt very out of place. I always felt like I lived in a hotel with the two of them. It was a very bad time in my life. I was really confused for years. And mad. He was the one that got me, at the age of 19 to almost anorexia, and also to then think seriously think that I was too flat chested and I needed implants. I still say I was like a project for him, to mold me and control me to his perfect image. And I didn’t care, I just needed someone that paid attention to me and loved me. Silly fool.

I have never played the part of the victim, but I really got some serious messed up notions from him those during those vital years. I was in the beginning mentally messed with by him, and later in the end physically. Badly. When we broke up and I met my hubby , whom I was dating and didn’t even want to be dating, ha ha but that Joe was so intent with me! He always says with a laugh, he got me at a weak moment, that’s how he lucked out. "HA ha!" I say. Anyway- my ex stalked the both of us for almost a year and a half. For Joe to stick it out, I knew he was a keeper. It was scary, because around the time of the breakup, Simpson had just been murdered and being stalked was a scary, very real thing. It was all over the media. I will never get over, one night he broke in, and wrote in all my poetry books, all this stuff that did not make sense. It was frightening.

When I look back, it was amazing how broken I was. And how many years I spent being a broken girl. And now, its like I am not the same person. God really heals things , sometimes putting them into a beautiful transformation,...like all the sudden a stunning butterfly comes out of complete darkness. Perfect, with amazing colors from all his work.

My heart goes out to you, so much so, I had to share this very private topic to me. I know, it is hard. To me, it makes us stronger, but heck, who wants to learn that way! I admire you girl,.Love,

Re: Ilena, angels, life story and ruptured silicone implants

Thank you Patty, yes, he had paranoid scysophrenia, however you spell it. At the time I would have been afraid to even raise my head if a man walked by. The residual effects have bad me untrustworthy of men. Thus, explains some of my reactions previously...I choose not to be in a relationship at the present time, and since I got sick for several reasons. Mostly because of my Godly lifestyle and higher expectations. I am very happily single and spend all my day focusing on God and going to church functions. God Bless, King.Tricia Trish <glory2glory1401@...> wrote:

,

That is horrible, just unfathomable. I don't know that I'd ever want to be with a man again after going through that.

I'm so sorry! You are worth so much more than he made you feel, so much more...in fact, so much that Jesus died for you, He loved you so much! And we do too...

Hugs,

Pattymichelle king <michellerking1@...> wrote:

I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Seems at some point we all have a little bit in common having faced a

sense of fighting that " victism " I know I have fought it more than

once. Being younger and not knowing the risks at the time... I

trusted what I was told and I got some mixed up notions too, I like

the way you put that , well put. Your story inspired me and

reminded me what really pulled me through thank you.

Deformed breasts caused me to starve myself and gain my way up trying

to make them flat and normal or at least fill a bra and then surgery.

For 20 some years I had no idea why I could not hold a job over 2

years, have my babies or hold onto my marriage, etc.

I thought all women were that sick, no kidding, I really did. I just

kept plugging away at work with no family life and now suffer a

lonely life, but I kept that insurance all my life, and at 45 by

month's end lose my prescription coverage unless I mail the October

payment of 391.00 and the november ck for 391.00 The fight goes on.

Surviving the recent marriage and abuse came from strength gained as

I greww in my personal relationship with God.

Each incident seemed to be an effort to make me be more dependent on

a controlling person that I was afraid of yet I directed myself to

faith instead.

Whatever problems were involved I cannot say. I stayed until I had to

go and then I left and stayed away.

Things were necessary for me to have the strength in my heart to get

through it all. My turning point came when I laid my hands on my

husband and prayed for him then I followed my heart and I confessed

to him it is the glory of God that heals. (forgiveness)

In order for me to do massage therapy or prayer I let go and asked

for forgiveness in a way I never had before with the understanding it

is ok and that God knows we are not perfect, He did not make us that

way and that we are so loved when we come to Him in this way that He

will protect us through thick and thin.

Being a little older now and not having worked for over 4 years I am

at this very scary point of being unsure of myself and the facts look

pretty bad. I need to do something, but don't know what!

Kacey thank you for your email, I am thinking about it, do you have

any ideas? I started to tell you three times today, I scanned your

PParade article for you, that was so great~!

WOW, I have typed a novel, so sorry, hugs and you blessed my

heart so much the other night that I will never forget it, you are so

special and so supposed to be here with your gifts and wonderful

kindness. Thank you for sharing your story and while not much of what

some of us have experienced is pleasant I remain hopeful for some way

positive outcome, just like Kacey's article today, changing people's

lives, that is awesome!

M, I love you like a sis, R

> I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from

many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that

through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me,

in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work

shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Rhonda and , I know we all share something, the stalking, abuse and traumatic stress. And it does take time to heal. I've been very traumatized by men and have personal issues to work out before I could be good to a man. Most people who know me don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. Rhoda, I am very concerned for you and we all need to pray for your resolution of basic needs. I hope something good turns up for you. Maybe moving to Atlanta closer to your drs. I will call you again soon.

, I do beleave God turns us into something special after we come out of this. I'm not sure he will completely heal me, it may not be His will. He has me so trusting on Him now that I think this is where He wants me for awhile. But, He is giving me back things slowly, love of my daughters, health in many respects, and a devotion for Him and want to be absorbed in an ever deeper search for Him. I don't ever want to be so healed to take for grantit that I need God daily, minute by minute. If it means I need to remain in this humbled state, then I am content. My biggest prayer would be Lord may my fire for you never go out, may I want to serve you more and more each day. I beleive Healing can only come when we are completely dependent on Him. "Seek yea first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be given unto you" I believe if I can eat like it says in the Bible, just like Patty said, from , and I believe in the

Food Laws from Lev. 11 and Duet. 14. I also keep the Sabbath Day Holy. If I am to remain with arthritis, not color my hair, continue to wear my dresses long to church, I'd would rather stay ill to continue being fervent for the Lord. In God's time He will heal me, and things will return to me. Even in hard times I have Peace that surpasses all understanding. My hunger for Jesus never leaves me idle. That's why I celebrate my singleness, because I can spend many hours with Jesus and studying His word. That's where the abuse and the illness has taken me. I am grateful for the food God supplies. I went to the market with a certain amount of money but in my cart I knew there was more. I was ready to take out certain items when the check out lady said the price, but, Glory to God, I had enough and didn't have to put anything back.

Whatever, you do Rhonda, ask God for His Will, and do everything for the Glory of God. I am convienced its the only way. Maybe you can contact a church where you'd like to locate, or in your community there. I hope God opens doors for you. God Bless you. Take Care and Rhonda, I hope we can continue lifting each other up. It will get better Rhonda, you've come along way so far getting away from your abusive husband. That was an excellent choice. Ask God to lead you in your decisions and your life will improve. I hope you are comforted in some small way knowing that someone has prayed for you today. God Be With you, Love, K.Rhonda <survivoretal@...> wrote:

Seems at some point we all have a little bit in common having faced a sense of fighting that "victism" I know I have fought it more than once. Being younger and not knowing the risks at the time... I trusted what I was told and I got some mixed up notions too, I like the way you put that , well put. Your story inspired me and reminded me what really pulled me through thank you.Deformed breasts caused me to starve myself and gain my way up trying to make them flat and normal or at least fill a bra and then surgery. For 20 some years I had no idea why I could not hold a job over 2 years, have my babies or hold onto my marriage, etc.I thought all women were that sick, no kidding, I really did. I just kept plugging away at work with no family life and now suffer a lonely life, but I kept that insurance all my life, and at 45

by month's end lose my prescription coverage unless I mail the October payment of 391.00 and the november ck for 391.00 The fight goes on.Surviving the recent marriage and abuse came from strength gained as I greww in my personal relationship with God.Each incident seemed to be an effort to make me be more dependent on a controlling person that I was afraid of yet I directed myself to faith instead. Whatever problems were involved I cannot say. I stayed until I had to go and then I left and stayed away.Things were necessary for me to have the strength in my heart to get through it all. My turning point came when I laid my hands on my husband and prayed for him then I followed my heart and I confessed to him it is the glory of God that heals. (forgiveness)In order for me to do massage therapy or prayer I let go and asked for forgiveness in a way I never had before with the understanding it is ok and

that God knows we are not perfect, He did not make us that way and that we are so loved when we come to Him in this way that He will protect us through thick and thin. Being a little older now and not having worked for over 4 years I am at this very scary point of being unsure of myself and the facts look pretty bad. I need to do something, but don't know what!Kacey thank you for your email, I am thinking about it, do you have any ideas? I started to tell you three times today, I scanned your PParade article for you, that was so great~!WOW, I have typed a novel, so sorry, hugs and you blessed my heart so much the other night that I will never forget it, you are so special and so supposed to be here with your gifts and wonderful kindness. Thank you for sharing your story and while not much of what some of us have experienced is pleasant I remain hopeful for some way positive outcome, just like Kacey's

article today, changing people's lives, that is awesome! M, I love you like a sis, R> I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

> >

[Guest guest]

I love you guys too. its amazing how these girls all over the world have come here to heal in so many aspects. We have so much in common. Miracles by God, I tell you. Re: Re: Ilena, angels, life story and ruptured silicone implants

Thank you Rhonda and , I know we all share something, the stalking, abuse and traumatic stress. And it does take time to heal. I've been very traumatized by men and have personal issues to work out before I could be good to a man. Most people who know me don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. Rhoda, I am very concerned for you and we all need to pray for your resolution of basic needs. I hope something good turns up for you. Maybe moving to Atlanta closer to your drs. I will call you again soon.

, I do beleave God turns us into something special after we come out of this. I'm not sure he will completely heal me, it may not be His will. He has me so trusting on Him now that I think this is where He wants me for awhile. But, He is giving me back things slowly, love of my daughters, health in many respects, and a devotion for Him and want to be absorbed in an ever deeper search for Him. I don't ever want to be so healed to take for grantit that I need God daily, minute by minute. If it means I need to remain in this humbled state, then I am content. My biggest prayer would be Lord may my fire for you never go out, may I want to serve you more and more each day. I beleive Healing can only come when we are completely dependent on Him. "Seek yea first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be given unto you" I believe if I can eat like it says in the Bible, just like Patty said, from , and I believe in the Food Laws from Lev. 11 and Duet. 14. I also keep the Sabbath Day Holy. If I am to remain with arthritis, not color my hair, continue to wear my dresses long to church, I'd would rather stay ill to continue being fervent for the Lord. In God's time He will heal me, and things will return to me. Even in hard times I have Peace that surpasses all understanding. My hunger for Jesus never leaves me idle. That's why I celebrate my singleness, because I can spend many hours with Jesus and studying His word. That's where the abuse and the illness has taken me. I am grateful for the food God supplies. I went to the market with a certain amount of money but in my cart I knew there was more. I was ready to take out certain items when the check out lady said the price, but, Glory to God, I had enough and didn't have to put anything back.

Whatever, you do Rhonda, ask God for His Will, and do everything for the Glory of God. I am convienced its the only way. Maybe you can contact a church where you'd like to locate, or in your community there. I hope God opens doors for you. God Bless you. Take Care and Rhonda, I hope we can continue lifting each other up. It will get better Rhonda, you've come along way so far getting away from your abusive husband. That was an excellent choice. Ask God to lead you in your decisions and your life will improve. I hope you are comforted in some small way knowing that someone has prayed for you today. God Be With you, Love, K.Rhonda <survivoretal@...> wrote:

Seems at some point we all have a little bit in common having faced a sense of fighting that "victism" I know I have fought it more than once. Being younger and not knowing the risks at the time... I trusted what I was told and I got some mixed up notions too, I like the way you put that , well put. Your story inspired me and reminded me what really pulled me through thank you.Deformed breasts caused me to starve myself and gain my way up trying to make them flat and normal or at least fill a bra and then surgery. For 20 some years I had no idea why I could not hold a job over 2 years, have my babies or hold onto my marriage, etc.I thought all women were that sick, no kidding, I really did. I just kept plugging away at work with no family life and now suffer a lonely life, but I kept that insurance all my life, and at 45 by month's end lose my prescription coverage unless I mail the October payment of 391.00 and the november ck for 391.00 The fight goes on.Surviving the recent marriage and abuse came from strength gained as I greww in my personal relationship with God.Each incident seemed to be an effort to make me be more dependent on a controlling person that I was afraid of yet I directed myself to faith instead. Whatever problems were involved I cannot say. I stayed until I had to go and then I left and stayed away.Things were necessary for me to have the strength in my heart to get through it all. My turning point came when I laid my hands on my husband and prayed for him then I followed my heart and I confessed to him it is the glory of God that heals. (forgiveness)In order for me to do massage therapy or prayer I let go and asked for forgiveness in a way I never had before with the understanding it is ok and that God knows we are not perfect, He did not make us that way and that we are so loved when we come to Him in this way that He will protect us through thick and thin. Being a little older now and not having worked for over 4 years I am at this very scary point of being unsure of myself and the facts look pretty bad. I need to do something, but don't know what!Kacey thank you for your email, I am thinking about it, do you have any ideas? I started to tell you three times today, I scanned your PParade article for you, that was so great~!WOW, I have typed a novel, so sorry, hugs and you blessed my heart so much the other night that I will never forget it, you are so special and so supposed to be here with your gifts and wonderful kindness. Thank you for sharing your story and while not much of what some of us have experienced is pleasant I remain hopeful for some way positive outcome, just like Kacey's article today, changing people's lives, that is awesome! M, I love you like a sis, R> I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me, in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love, > >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing. I am so glad that you got through all those bad

times and are now happily married and with a beautiful child!

hugs, kathy

> I'm sure we can support each other as I have suffered from

many of the things you mentioned, specifically a boyfriend that

through me down over and over again all night landing on top of me,

in a jealous rage. That's when they ruptrued, I think. I quit work

shortly there after, and by 6-8 months was full blown. Love,

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

,

I understand that I am not ready for a serious relationship after all

that stuff happening. This has been a pretty spiritual experience

for me. I guess one day I could be part of a permenant relationship

after I become a whole person. A job and getting back up will make

the difference I think. Being forced to focus on my needs has been an

awakening for me. Thank you for your uplifting responses and prayers,

prayers go up and blessings come down,

love, Rhonda

> I love you guys too. its amazing how these girls all over the world

have come here to heal in so many aspects. We have so much in common.

Miracles by God, I tell you. ----- Original Message -----

> From: michelle king<mailto:michellerking1@y...>

Whatever, you do Rhonda, ask God for His Will, and do everything

for the Glory of God. I am convienced its the only way. Maybe you

can contact a church where you'd like to locate, or in your community

there. I hope God opens doors for you. God Bless you. Take Care

and Rhonda, I hope we can continue lifting each other up. It

will get better Rhonda, you've come along way so far getting away

from your abusive husband. That was an excellent choice. Ask God to

lead you in your decisions and your life will improve. I hope you are

comforted in some small way knowing that someone has prayed for you

today. God Be With you, Love, K.

[Guest guest]

Rhonda, it is so true. Most have to become whole first. For some reason, Joe helped me do that, these last 5 years-while I always thought you have to find yourself and heal first, then meet a partner. it didn’t happen that way for me. Maybe God knew I wasn’t strong enough, to do it alone. Unlike you It sounds like you are strong enough. Blessings,

Re: Ilena, angels, life story and ruptured silicone implants

, I understand that I am not ready for a serious relationship after all that stuff happening. This has been a pretty spiritual experience for me. I guess one day I could be part of a permenant relationship after I become a whole person. A job and getting back up will make the difference I think. Being forced to focus on my needs has been an awakening for me. Thank you for your uplifting responses and prayers, prayers go up and blessings come down, love, Rhonda> I love you guys too. its amazing how these girls all over the world have come here to heal in so many aspects. We have so much in common. Miracles by God, I tell you. ----- Original Message ----- > From: michelle king<mailto:michellerking1@y...> Whatever, you do Rhonda, ask God for His Will, and do everything for the Glory of God. I am convienced its the only way. Maybe you can contact a church where you'd like to locate, or in your community there. I hope God opens doors for you. God Bless you. Take Care and Rhonda, I hope we can continue lifting each other up. It will get better Rhonda, you've come along way so far getting away from your abusive husband. That was an excellent choice. Ask God to lead you in your decisions and your life will improve. I hope you are comforted in some small way knowing that someone has prayed for you today. God Be With you, Love, K.

[Guest guest]

,

You are an angel, girl. This is right on, your heart is in the right place!

Pattymichelle king <michellerking1@...> wrote:

Thank you Rhonda and , I know we all share something, the stalking, abuse and traumatic stress. And it does take time to heal. I've been very traumatized by men and have personal issues to work out before I could be good to a man. Most people who know me don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. Rhoda, I am very concerned for you and we all need to pray for your resolution of basic needs. I hope something good turns up for you. Maybe moving to Atlanta closer to your drs. I will call you again soon.

, I do beleave God turns us into something special after we come out of this. I'm not sure he will completely heal me, it may not be His will. He has me so trusting on Him now that I think this is where He wants me for awhile. But, He is giving me back things slowly, love of my daughters, health in many respects, and a devotion for Him and want to be absorbed in an ever deeper search for Him. I don't ever want to be so healed to take for grantit that I need God daily, minute by minute. If it means I need to remain in this humbled state, then I am content. My biggest prayer would be Lord may my fire for you never go out, may I want to serve you more and more each day. I beleive Healing can only come when we are completely dependent on Him. "Seek yea first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be given unto you" I believe if I can eat like it says in the Bible, just like Patty said, from , and I believe in the

Food Laws from Lev. 11 and Duet. 14. I also keep the Sabbath Day Holy. If I am to remain with arthritis, not color my hair, continue to wear my dresses long to church, I'd would rather stay ill to continue being fervent for the Lord. In God's time He will heal me, and things will return to me. Even in hard times I have Peace that surpasses all understanding. My hunger for Jesus never leaves me idle. That's why I celebrate my singleness, because I can spend many hours with Jesus and studying His word. That's where the abuse and the illness has taken me. I am grateful for the food God supplies. I went to the market with a certain amount of money but in my cart I knew there was more. I was ready to take out certain items when the check out lady said the price, but, Glory to God, I had enough and didn't have to put anything back.

Whatever, you do Rhonda, ask God for His Will, and do everything for the Glory of God. I am convienced its the only way. Maybe you can contact a church where you'd like to locate, or in your community there. I hope God opens doors for you. God Bless you. Take Care and Rhonda, I hope we can continue lifting each other up. It will get better Rhonda, you've come along way so far getting away from your abusive husband. That was an excellent choice. Ask God to lead you in your decisions and your life will improve. I hope you are comforted in some small way knowing that someone has prayed for you today. God Be With you, Love, K.__________________________________________________