Advice and Opinion Needed

[Guest guest]

Hey guys, looking for some advice here.

Last week my kindergarten Aspie had an incident where, during lunch

was trying to get the spec. ed teachers attention. He put his hands

near her face and she put up her hand to move him away from her

face. In his frustration to get her attention he hit her arm. She

emailed me about the incident and asked me not to discuss it with him

because she ignored the behavior thinking that if she ignored it, it

probably wouldn't happen again. I stated that I did not agree with

ignoring it but that I would go along with whatever she thought was

best.

Now I get the draft of his behavior plan and it mentions hitting

(very rarely happens) as a behavior problem and at the end of the

plan says that if he hits he will immediately go to the principals

office.

Here is my concern. This seems like an isolated incident. It has

never happened before or since. I don't believe that it rises to the

level of needing to be listed in his behavior plan and even the

words " very rarely happens " insinuate that it is an on going

problem. It could also be construed as him having a hitting problem

(he doesn't) or worse that he could be violent (he isn't). I also

think it sends a very confusing message to ignore behavior and then

the next time it happens immediately send him to the principal. I

have said I don't want hitting or it's consequences listed in his

behavior plan at this time and that hitting could be addressed at a

later time if it would happen again. The spec. ed teacher is

refusing this saying the incident happened and going to the principal

is the normal consequence for for hitting. I don't disagree with

this but again, because it's only happened once and they chose to

ignore it the first time then if it happens again he should be

explained to that hitting isn't appropriate to get someones

attention, told what would be appropriate and then told if he hits

again, for any reason he will have to go to the principals office.

Am I wrong here? Isn't this just common sense? I have also

explained that I oppose this in his behavior plan because the

behavior plan becomes permanent and anyone who doesn't know Nick

could assume things about him that aren't true because of it. I am

just so frustrated with school and can't wait for it to end for this

year.

Thanks in advance for any advice/ideas.

[Guest guest]

I disagree with sending your son to the principal's office as well. My son is 9

and has had plenty of incidents when he simply got frustrated and couldn't

control his behaviors (hitting and even kicking, scratching or biting years

ago). In my opinion, it is more important to work out the problem wherever he

is and get him to regain control of himself. (You can read about it in a great

book, " You're Going to Love This Kid: Educating a Child with Autism " .)

There are times when my son cannot manage all the stimulus in the typical

general ed classroom. He works hard to self-regulate and compose himself to go

back to the classroom.

We have build breaks into his day that help him by walking to another room (he

needs to learn math in a small group setting - special ed teacher in resource

room).

Maggie

singin4mom wrote:

Hey guys, looking for some advice here.

Last week my kindergarten Aspie had an incident where, during lunch

was trying to get the spec. ed teachers attention. He put his hands

near her face and she put up her hand to move him away from her

face. In his frustration to get her attention he hit her arm. She

emailed me about the incident and asked me not to discuss it with him

because she ignored the behavior thinking that if she ignored it, it

probably wouldn't happen again. I stated that I did not agree with

ignoring it but that I would go along with whatever she thought was

best.

Now I get the draft of his behavior plan and it mentions hitting

(very rarely happens) as a behavior problem and at the end of the

plan says that if he hits he will immediately go to the principals

office.

Here is my concern. This seems like an isolated incident. It has

never happened before or since. I don't believe that it rises to the

level of needing to be listed in his behavior plan and even the

words " very rarely happens " insinuate that it is an on going

problem. It could also be construed as him having a hitting problem

(he doesn't) or worse that he could be violent (he isn't). I also

think it sends a very confusing message to ignore behavior and then

the next time it happens immediately send him to the principal. I

have said I don't want hitting or it's consequences listed in his

behavior plan at this time and that hitting could be addressed at a

later time if it would happen again. The spec. ed teacher is

refusing this saying the incident happened and going to the principal

is the normal consequence for for hitting. I don't disagree with

this but again, because it's only happened once and they chose to

ignore it the first time then if it happens again he should be

explained to that hitting isn't appropriate to get someones

attention, told what would be appropriate and then told if he hits

again, for any reason he will have to go to the principals office.

Am I wrong here? Isn't this just common sense? I have also

explained that I oppose this in his behavior plan because the

behavior plan becomes permanent and anyone who doesn't know Nick

could assume things about him that aren't true because of it. I am

just so frustrated with school and can't wait for it to end for this

year.

Thanks in advance for any advice/ideas.