Another Fing Casualty

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Dear Frinds AND Family;

I am very very saddened to send this mail out....I have put off sending

it....BUT, I always turn to you guys....you folks are the ONLY constant in my

life.....many of you know my wife, Patty, through various emails from me and

from when I was in the Resort (as Kirk so aptly puts it).....well,

hell.......a couple weeks ago she said she wants a seperation and wants me to

move out of our house.....well, I ws in shock for a while.....however, I had

noticed a distance from her back this summer during my second stay in hospital

(6 weeks)......without going into too much detail, reasons:  she is exhausted: 

she has carried the entire financial burden for the last 4 years...often leaving

here by 5:30am and not returning until 8 or 9 o'clock at night.....working 2-3

jobs.....she makes good $ as a therapist, but this damn economy still demands 2

working!.....my SSDI came-in this past July but we all know how much that is

(better than not at all that's for

sure)....anyway, she is truly totally exausted and is looking for a place to

rent...we ill probably just let the bank have the house...our credit is like in

the gutter no matter what.....the second reason is my attitude....yep, hard to

believe anyone with Still's and numerous brushes with death would have a Sh....

attitude....too true....problem is this (and please let me be an example to

those of you who may be having relationship problems)....I took and took and

took....that is what my less than stellar attitude caused.....not even realizing

it....oh no...it is far easier to wrap-up in the damn disease and all of its

little consequences.....so, I was blind to the slow destruction I was

Causing.......now, I plan to go talk to the folks at our local DSS office this

Tuesday to see what they can help me with....I understand I can get food stamps

and assist with an Apt. etc......to hell with it....I am starting all over with

a chronic disease at almost 50

years old leaving here with not much more than I had twenty years ago including

nearly the same " income " .....I say this not feeling self-pity, but as

FACTS...many of you share these same facts of life or worse...God Bless You!

Please pray for me and Patty.

Any suggestions or council are really welcome.

Love all you people!

Thanks!

Larry B. from NC