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Hi, Heidi,

I don't have anything specific in mind, but I wondered a couple of things as I read your letter. Your age and marital situation.

----- Original Message -----

From: l_hyoung

Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 2:42 PM

Subject: [] Hi my name is Heidi

good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for listening....I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidi

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Hi Heidi,

Thank you for sharing and for being completely honest about it. I'm no butt kicker myself, but I wanted to say I feel for you with what you are going through.

I'm sending lots of Love and Light and prayers your way. And to all those who need it.

Love & Light,

Rhonda

----- Original Message ----From: l_hyoung <l_hyoung@...> Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2007 4:12:40 AMSubject: [] Hi my name is Heidi

good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a

friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the

butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for listening... .I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidi

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I'm 39 years old and I'm marriedEVELYN BELL <beleve2005@...> wrote: Hi, Heidi, I don't have anything specific in mind, but I wondered a couple of things as I read your letter. Your age and marital situation. ----- Original Message ----- From: l_hyoung Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 2:42 PM Subject: [] Hi my name is Heidi good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm

suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start

back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for listening....I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidi

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Dear Heidi,

I am not upset with you, not in the least. I have been respecting

your timing pertaing to the advice that I gave you on MySpace. I am

always here if or when you need me.

You are on my Distant Healing List and I keep you in my thoughts and

prayers.

Liane and I are working on some guided meditations and visualizations

that may, if applied, be of some help to you.

You are not doing doing this alone. Please keep us posted as to your

progress.

Metta,

Chris

--- In , " l_hyoung " <l_hyoung@...>

wrote:

>

> good afternoon

> my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a

> month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't

> know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been

> wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not

> being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be

> very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely

> overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2

> diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take

> medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm

> suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of

> myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for

> thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and

> take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care

of

> myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a

> friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email.

I'm

> suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of

> the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part

> of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to

> stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to

sleep

> my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over

> this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then

> after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy.

I've

> started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's

just

> who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful

> children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but

> when people say to me " you should control your weight and your

> health for your family " , I just blow them off.

> is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just

> kick me in the butt and straighten me out?

> I feel lost and alone.

> thank you for listening....

> I guess I needed to vent.

> peace and love

> heidi

>

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Dear Heidi, Honey I can relate to some of what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue and I don't do what I should do to take of myself. Like eat right and get some exercise....and there are times I just don't care about anything either. I do take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm certainly not one to kick you in the butt because I need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even as sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister that are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them. I tell you thing, I'd be kicking some butt as far as my family is concerned because they need to taking care of you for a change. Of course, you're just 39 and I wonder how old your children are. You need some rest and you don't need to be worrying about everybody else all the time and putting yourself last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of your self after caring for everyone else.

Talk to your family and tell them you need their help if you haven't ask them already. If you need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll try to send as much energy your way as I can. Please God help her get some rest and strength? God bless you Heidi. Vicki l_hyoung <l_hyoung@...> wrote: good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group

for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm

suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for

listening....I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidiPrayer isn't a time to give orders but to report for duty!

Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.Visit the Auto Green Center.

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thank you for your kind words and support. my children are 14 and 9 so they are a big help with things I need. my husband tries to help but most of the time I'm too busy ignoring his help and remarks because it's repitishs and I don't want to keep hearing it. I just hope I can get myself into something before something bad happens. I promise I will keep in touch thank you heidi Vicki Crouse <meekomomemt@...> wrote: Dear Heidi, Honey

I can relate to some of what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue and I don't do what I should do to take of myself. Like eat right and get some exercise....and there are times I just don't care about anything either. I do take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm certainly not one to kick you in the butt because I need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even as sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister that are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them. I tell you thing, I'd be kicking some butt as far as my family is concerned because they need to taking care of you for a change. Of course, you're just 39 and I wonder how old your children are. You need some rest and you don't need to be worrying about everybody else all the time and putting yourself last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of your self after caring for everyone else. Talk to your

family and tell them you need their help if you haven't ask them already. If you need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll try to send as much energy your way as I can. Please God help her get some rest and strength? God bless you Heidi. Vicki l_hyoung <l_hyoung > wrote: good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting

towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't

understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for listening....I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidi Prayer isn't a time to give orders but to report for duty! Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.Visit the Auto Green Center.

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I too can add that I can relate to a point. Depression, fatique, confusion, vascillation. I eat pretty healthy, but don't exercise anymore. Too easy to lose balance. I've broken bones. Knee sockets dry, spasms a problem, space (cluttered). No help of consequence from too-busy-for-mom family members. No close friends. Borderline diabetic, 230 lbs.

Unlike you, I am old and alone. That's a mixed blessing & curse. I most certainly DO NOT NEED A KICK IN THE BUTT. Life has given me enough to last a few lifetimes, thank you very much! A helping hand, some physical therapy and job rehab so I can have the dignity of generating my own money, and managing my own responsibilities; some investors in my talents and enablers in my creative expression would be cool. I've books to publish. Would like to put out a magazine, with others; participate in a co-op press or art studio; printing equipment -- such as that. I'm NOT out of ambition. I just don't feel like doing dishes and laundry all by myself the rest of my life.

This week, I'm walking pretty well. Sometimes, it's close to crawling. Arthritis, rhuematism, etal are like that. Invalid one month, up and at em the next -- makes the kids not take one seriously. Neighbors seeing the cane appear and disappear have got to be confused. I am.

Anyway, this just to help you see the world around you in a little more of it's complexity, and get a clearer sense of whos where with what. I care, and hope we ALL get better!

----- Original Message -----

From: Vicki Crouse

Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2007 12:18 AM

Subject: Re: [] Hi my name is Heidi

Dear Heidi, Honey I can relate to some of what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue and I don't do what I should do to take of myself. Like eat right and get some exercise....and there are times I just don't care about anything either. I do take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm certainly not one to kick you in the butt because I need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even as sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister that are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them. I tell you thing, I'd be kicking some butt as far as my family is concerned because they need to taking care of you for a change. Of course, you're just 39 and I wonder how old your children are. You need some rest and you don't need to be worrying about everybody else all the time and putting yourself last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of your self after caring for everyone else. Talk to your family and tell them you need their help if you haven't ask them already. If you need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll try to send as much energy your way as I can. Please God help her get some rest and strength? God bless you Heidi. Vicki l_hyoung <l_hyoung > wrote:

good afternoonmy name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but when people say to me "you should control your weight and your health for your family" , I just blow them off. is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just kick me in the butt and straighten me out? I feel lost and alone.thank you for listening....I guess I needed to vent. peace and loveheidi

Prayer isn't a time to give orders

but to report for duty!

Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.Visit the Auto Green Center.

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Dear Heidi,

I wish you well and send love your way. Weight loss is

a spiritual journey. Please be open to what I share,

because this is an area of expertise and personal

experience for me, not theoretical. I am a hypnotist,

interfaith minister and coach. I am not a counselor or

therapist and I am only talking to you as a

compassionate friend and fellow healing group member,

sharing my experience, strength and hope.

I carried 100 extra pounds for a long time and was

able, when I was ready to get it off pretty easily,

over a period of two years. Most of it was off in the

first year.

There may be some for whom it is a matter of will and

self-discipline. But for most, I believe it takes a

power greater than our conscious, thinking and willing

self.

There is a part of you that is connected with infinite

energy, wisdom, power, and loving awareness. It is

health itself. It is beauty. It is harmony. It is

peace.

The spiritual path of weight loss requires surrender

of the ego. You'll can still have it, of course, but

you'll need to be willing to put it in its place,

which is not in charge.

Counselling is great. It's good to have a loving,

respectful listener who can help you get perspective.

And, there are many good hypnotists who can really

help you get the weight off. Since you have physical

and psychological issues, any hypnotist working with

you should have a written permission notes from your

counselor doctor.

But to succeed, first and foremost, you must be

willing to " turn it over " into the care of your higher

power, the God of your understanding. This does not

mean you take no responsibility. It means you follow

the direction of the God of your being, who is

infinitely wise on matters of diet, exercise and how

you really wnat to be nourishing yourself.

I also recommend that you get support of others and

follow a program of some kind that will give you

structure. It doesn't matter if you don;t feel like

it. Do it ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it!

There are 12 step groups that can provide support for

you. This is a tried and true spiritual path that

works, if YOU work it. I recommend Overeaters

Anonymous. And, if you have other issues, there are

Adult Children of Alcoholics, Adult Survovors of

Secxual Abuse and other groups that might meet other

needs.

I'm going to say one more thing that may seem odd or

unrelated, insensitive or nutty. But I'm going to say

it anyway, because it's true! The other key to weight

loss, after surrender of the ego?...is forgiveness.

Forgiving yourself all your mistakes, real or

imagined, and forgiving all others. Letting GO of the

past. This is a process that again, you will probably

need support for. From your counsellor and from your

support group(s)

You are ready. You demonstrated that by showing up

here and reaching out to us. Good for you, my sister!

Keep walking your path, one step at a time. That's all

it takes.

Many Blessings,

Kanta

--- Larry & Heidi Y <l_hyoung@...> wrote:

> thank you for your kind words and support. my

> children are 14 and 9 so they are a big help with

> things I need. my husband tries to help but most of

> the time I'm too busy ignoring his help and remarks

> because it's repitishs and I don't want to keep

> hearing it.

> I just hope I can get myself into something before

> something bad happens.

> I promise I will keep in touch

> thank you

> heidi

>

>

> Vicki Crouse <meekomomemt@...> wrote:

> Dear Heidi, Honey I can relate to some of

> what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue and

> I don't do what I should do to take of myself. Like

> eat right and get some exercise....and there are

> times I just don't care about anything either. I do

> take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm

> certainly not one to kick you in the butt because I

> need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even as

> sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister that

> are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them. I

> tell you thing, I'd be kicking some butt as far as

> my family is concerned because they need to taking

> care of you for a change. Of course, you're just 39

> and I wonder how old your children are. You need

> some rest and you don't need to be worrying about

> everybody else all the time and putting yourself

> last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of

> your self after caring for everyone else. Talk to

> your family and tell them you need their help if you

> haven't ask

> them already. If you need to talk, please feel

> free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good

> listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll

> try to send as much energy your way as I can.

> Please God help her get some rest and strength? God

> bless you Heidi. Vicki

>

> l_hyoung <l_hyoung@...> wrote: good

> afternoon

> my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group

> for over a

> month. I haven't said or post anything here yet

> because I didn't

> know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and Chris

> have been

> wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset

> chris by not

> being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I

> didn't. I can be

> very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm

> extremely

> overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I

> am a type 2

> diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm

> suppose to take

> medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I

> know what I'm

> suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care

> to take care of

> myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a

> hospital and for

> thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then

> I come home and

> take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose

> to take care of

> myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been

> writing to a

> friend in india because she's been trying to help me

> via email. I'm

> suppose to email her everyday with my daily food

> intake and most of

> the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and

> indenial. part

> of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part

> of me wants to

> stop it and get healthy but the other side of me

> just wants to sleep

> my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting

> myself over

> this. I have good intension to eat right and

> exersice but then

> after a week or two, I don't care and start back

> eating crappy. I've

> started counciling tho I probably won't continue

> because that's just

> who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two

> beautiful

> children who I would walk the road to hell and back

> for them but

> when people say to me " you should control your

> weight and your

> health for your family " , I just blow them off.

> is there anyone out there who can help me? someone

> who could just

> kick me in the butt and straighten me out?

> I feel lost and alone.

> thank you for listening....

> I guess I needed to vent.

> peace and love

> heidi

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Prayer isn't a time to give orders

> but to report for duty!

>

> ---------------------------------

> Park yourself in front of a world of choices in

> alternative vehicles.

> Visit the Auto Green Center.

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and

> hotels with FareChase.

Hold an image of the life you want, and that image will become fact.

-Dr. Norman Peale

Imagination is only intelligence having fun.

-Albert Einstein

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Hi Heidi,

I too have been a member of this Group and have not posted. I've

enjoyed reading other's posts. Your post hit home with me though.

We are the same age and I am also in the medical field (GPN). It

sounds like you need to work on balance- to explain, you spend your

days at work caring for others, you have children to care for also.

That does leave little time for you to care for yourself and as you

said you become too tired to care. This will manifest itself in

illness, depression, etc. Start taking time to do things for

You..are there things you are interested in from a long hot bath to a

hobby? Learn about meditation...take that time out to just BE. Get

out into nature. Little by little, if you bring that balance back

everything else should start to fall into place. You are far from

lazy! No one can kick you in the butt and make you do anything...it

has to come from within you.

Love and light,

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Hi Heidi

im feeling very sad for you hun you need to take good care of you too aswell as your family,sending you love & light & healing energy

namaste

kate xx Hi, Heidi, > I don't have anything specific in mind, but I wondered a couple of things as I read your letter. Your age and marital situation.> ----- Original Message ----- > From: l_hyoung > > Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 2:42 PM> Subject: [] Hi my name is Heidi> > > good afternoon> my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a > month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't > know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been > wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not > being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be > very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely > overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2 > diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take > medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm > suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of > myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for > thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and > take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of > myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a > friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm > suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of > the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part > of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to > stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep > my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over > this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then > after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've > started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just > who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful > children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but > when people say to me "you should control your weight and your > health for your family" , I just blow them off. > is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just > kick me in the butt and straighten me out? > I feel lost and alone.> thank you for listening....> I guess I needed to vent. > peace and love> heidi> > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Get the toolbar and be alerted to new email wherever you're surfing.>

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Hello Heidi,

I completely understand what you are saying and

feeling. I too have difficulty finishing what I've

started and especially when it's related to FOOD and

EXERCISE. My friend, please do not give up. I know,

it's easy said then done, but please do not give up on

yourself. You are important! See how many people you

have touched and how important you are to them. You

can do it! I have faith in YOU!

May God and the Angels give you strength.

Tere

--- l_hyoung <l_hyoung@...> wrote:

> good afternoon

> my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group

> for over a

> month. I haven't said or post anything here yet

> because I didn't

> know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and Chris

> have been

> wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have

> upset chris by not

> being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I

> didn't. I can be

> very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm

> extremely

> overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I

> am a type 2

> diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm

> suppose to take

> medicines for all this but there are days I don't.

> I know what I'm

> suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care

> to take care of

> myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a

> hospital and for

> thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then

> I come home and

> take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose

> to take care of

> myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been

> writing to a

> friend in india because she's been trying to help me

> via email. I'm

> suppose to email her everyday with my daily food

> intake and most of

> the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and

> indenial. part

> of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part

> of me wants to

> stop it and get healthy but the other side of me

> just wants to sleep

> my way to death. I don't understand why I'm

> fighting myself over

> this. I have good intension to eat right and

> exersice but then

> after a week or two, I don't care and start back

> eating crappy. I've

> started counciling tho I probably won't continue

> because that's just

> who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have

> two beautiful

> children who I would walk the road to hell and back

> for them but

> when people say to me " you should control your

> weight and your

> health for your family " , I just blow them off.

> is there anyone out there who can help me? someone

> who could just

> kick me in the butt and straighten me out?

> I feel lost and alone.

> thank you for listening....

> I guess I needed to vent.

> peace and love

> heidi

>

>

>

JTereJ

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play

Sims Stories at Games.

http://sims./

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Hello Kanta,

I know your email was addressed to Heidi, but I wanted

to thank you because you touched me too.

Love and Light,

Tere

--- Kanta Bosniak <art4spirit@...> wrote:

> Dear Heidi,

>

> I wish you well and send love your way. Weight loss

> is

> a spiritual journey. Please be open to what I share,

> because this is an area of expertise and personal

> experience for me, not theoretical. I am a

> hypnotist,

> interfaith minister and coach. I am not a counselor

> or

> therapist and I am only talking to you as a

> compassionate friend and fellow healing group

> member,

> sharing my experience, strength and hope.

>

> I carried 100 extra pounds for a long time and was

> able, when I was ready to get it off pretty easily,

> over a period of two years. Most of it was off in

> the

> first year.

>

> There may be some for whom it is a matter of will

> and

> self-discipline. But for most, I believe it takes a

> power greater than our conscious, thinking and

> willing

> self.

>

> There is a part of you that is connected with

> infinite

> energy, wisdom, power, and loving awareness. It is

> health itself. It is beauty. It is harmony. It is

> peace.

>

> The spiritual path of weight loss requires surrender

> of the ego. You'll can still have it, of course, but

> you'll need to be willing to put it in its place,

> which is not in charge.

>

> Counselling is great. It's good to have a loving,

> respectful listener who can help you get

> perspective.

> And, there are many good hypnotists who can really

> help you get the weight off. Since you have physical

> and psychological issues, any hypnotist working with

> you should have a written permission notes from your

> counselor doctor.

>

> But to succeed, first and foremost, you must be

> willing to " turn it over " into the care of your

> higher

> power, the God of your understanding. This does not

> mean you take no responsibility. It means you follow

> the direction of the God of your being, who is

> infinitely wise on matters of diet, exercise and how

> you really wnat to be nourishing yourself.

>

> I also recommend that you get support of others and

> follow a program of some kind that will give you

> structure. It doesn't matter if you don;t feel like

> it. Do it ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it!

>

> There are 12 step groups that can provide support

> for

> you. This is a tried and true spiritual path that

> works, if YOU work it. I recommend Overeaters

> Anonymous. And, if you have other issues, there are

> Adult Children of Alcoholics, Adult Survovors of

> Secxual Abuse and other groups that might meet other

> needs.

>

> I'm going to say one more thing that may seem odd or

> unrelated, insensitive or nutty. But I'm going to

> say

> it anyway, because it's true! The other key to

> weight

> loss, after surrender of the ego?...is forgiveness.

>

> Forgiving yourself all your mistakes, real or

> imagined, and forgiving all others. Letting GO of

> the

> past. This is a process that again, you will

> probably

> need support for. From your counsellor and from your

> support group(s)

>

> You are ready. You demonstrated that by showing up

> here and reaching out to us. Good for you, my

> sister!

> Keep walking your path, one step at a time. That's

> all

> it takes.

>

> Many Blessings,

>

> Kanta

> --- Larry & Heidi Y <l_hyoung@...> wrote:

>

> > thank you for your kind words and support. my

> > children are 14 and 9 so they are a big help with

> > things I need. my husband tries to help but most

> of

> > the time I'm too busy ignoring his help and

> remarks

> > because it's repitishs and I don't want to keep

> > hearing it.

> > I just hope I can get myself into something

> before

> > something bad happens.

> > I promise I will keep in touch

> > thank you

> > heidi

> >

> >

> > Vicki Crouse <meekomomemt@...> wrote:

> > Dear Heidi, Honey I can relate to some

> of

> > what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue

> and

> > I don't do what I should do to take of myself.

> Like

> > eat right and get some exercise....and there are

> > times I just don't care about anything either. I

> do

> > take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm

> > certainly not one to kick you in the butt because

> I

> > need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even

> as

> > sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister

> that

> > are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them.

> I

> > tell you thing, I'd be kicking some butt as far as

> > my family is concerned because they need to taking

> > care of you for a change. Of course, you're just

> 39

> > and I wonder how old your children are. You need

> > some rest and you don't need to be worrying about

> > everybody else all the time and putting yourself

> > last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of

> > your self after caring for everyone else. Talk to

> > your family and tell them you need their help if

> you

> > haven't ask

> > them already. If you need to talk, please feel

> > free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good

> > listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll

> > try to send as much energy your way as I can.

> > Please God help her get some rest and strength?

> God

> > bless you Heidi. Vicki

> >

> > l_hyoung <l_hyoung@...> wrote: good

> > afternoon

> > my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this

> group

> > for over a

> > month. I haven't said or post anything here yet

> > because I didn't

> > know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and Chris

> > have been

> > wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have

> upset

> > chris by not

> > being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I

> > didn't. I can be

> > very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm

> > extremely

> > overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and

> I

> > am a type 2

> > diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm

> > suppose to take

> > medicines for all this but there are days I don't.

> I

> > know what I'm

> > suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care

> > to take care of

> > myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a

> > hospital and for

> > thirty six hours a week, I take care of people

> then

> > I come home and

> > take care of my family and friends. then I'm

> suppose

> > to take care of

> > myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've

> been

> > writing to a

> > friend in india because she's been trying to help

> me

> > via email. I'm

> > suppose to email her everyday with my daily food

> > intake and most of

> > the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and

> > indenial. part

> > of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that

> part

> > of me wants to

> > stop it and get healthy but the other side of me

>

=== message truncated ===

JTereJ

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows.

Answers - Check it out.

http://answers./dir/?link=list & sid=396545469

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ME 3! I have a hard time with weight issues too. I have MS and have to take steroids for relapses, have to try to find foods high in vitamins, and take vitamins. The only sacrifice I have made so far is switching from regular pepsi to diet soda, and even then I stand at the register with chocolate in hand. Calgon take me away! Love you Kanta and everybody else! From the chocolate & carb fiend in Folsom! hugs, Tere Krazit <krazit21@...> wrote: Hello Kanta,I know your email was addressed to Heidi, but I wantedto thank you because you touched me too.Love and Light,Tere--- Kanta Bosniak <art4spirit > wrote:> Dear Heidi,> > I wish you well and send love your way. Weight loss> is> a spiritual journey. Please be open to what I share,> because this is an area of expertise and personal> experience for me, not theoretical. I am a> hypnotist,> interfaith minister and coach. I

am not a counselor> or> therapist and I am only talking to you as a> compassionate friend and fellow healing group> member,> sharing my experience, strength and hope.> > I carried 100 extra pounds for a long time and was> able, when I was ready to get it off pretty easily,> over a period of two years. Most of it was off in> the> first year.> > There may be some for whom it is a matter of will> and> self-discipline. But for most, I believe it takes a> power greater than our conscious, thinking and> willing> self.> > There is a part of you that is connected with> infinite> energy, wisdom, power, and loving awareness. It is> health itself. It is beauty. It is harmony. It is> peace.> > The spiritual path of weight loss requires surrender> of the ego. You'll can still have it, of course,

but> you'll need to be willing to put it in its place,> which is not in charge.> > Counselling is great. It's good to have a loving,> respectful listener who can help you get> perspective.> And, there are many good hypnotists who can really> help you get the weight off. Since you have physical> and psychological issues, any hypnotist working with> you should have a written permission notes from your> counselor doctor.> > But to succeed, first and foremost, you must be> willing to "turn it over" into the care of your> higher> power, the God of your understanding. This does not> mean you take no responsibility. It means you follow> the direction of the God of your being, who is> infinitely wise on matters of diet, exercise and how> you really wnat to be nourishing yourself.> > I also recommend that you get support of others

and> follow a program of some kind that will give you> structure. It doesn't matter if you don;t feel like> it. Do it ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it! > > There are 12 step groups that can provide support> for> you. This is a tried and true spiritual path that> works, if YOU work it. I recommend Overeaters> Anonymous. And, if you have other issues, there are> Adult Children of Alcoholics, Adult Survovors of> Secxual Abuse and other groups that might meet other> needs. > > I'm going to say one more thing that may seem odd or> unrelated, insensitive or nutty. But I'm going to> say> it anyway, because it's true! The other key to> weight> loss, after surrender of the ego?...is forgiveness.> > Forgiving yourself all your mistakes, real or> imagined, and forgiving all others. Letting GO of> the> past. This

is a process that again, you will> probably> need support for. From your counsellor and from your> support group(s)> > You are ready. You demonstrated that by showing up> here and reaching out to us. Good for you, my> sister!> Keep walking your path, one step at a time. That's> all> it takes. > > Many Blessings,> > Kanta> --- Larry & Heidi Y <l_hyoung > wrote:> > > thank you for your kind words and support. my> > children are 14 and 9 so they are a big help with> > things I need. my husband tries to help but most> of> > the time I'm too busy ignoring his help and> remarks> > because it's repitishs and I don't want to keep> > hearing it.> > I just hope I can get myself into something> before> >

something bad happens. > > I promise I will keep in touch> > thank you> > heidi> > > > > > Vicki Crouse <meekomomemt > wrote:> > Dear Heidi, Honey I can relate to some> of> > what you're going thru. The depression, fatigue> and> > I don't do what I should do to take of myself. > Like> > eat right and get some exercise....and there are> > times I just don't care about anything either. I> do> > take my meds though, that's a must for me. I'm> > certainly not one to kick you in the butt because> I> > need someone to kick my butt....and I'm not even> as> > sick as you are. I have a brother and a sister> that> > are diabetic as well. I have tried to help them. > I> > tell you thing, I'd

be kicking some butt as far as> > my family is concerned because they need to taking> > care of you for a change. Of course, you're just> 39> > and I wonder how old your children are. You need> > some rest and you don't need to be worrying about> > everybody else all the time and putting yourself> > last. Of course, you're to tired to take care of> > your self after caring for everyone else. Talk to> > your family and tell them you need their help if> you> > haven't ask> > them already. If you need to talk, please feel> > free to e-mail me. I'm at least a good a good> > listener. Meanwhile, you have my prayers and I'll> > try to send as much energy your way as I can. > > Please God help her get some rest and strength? > God> > bless you Heidi. Vicki > > > > l_hyoung <l_hyoung > wrote: good> > afternoon> > my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this> group> > for over a > > month. I haven't said or post anything here yet> > because I didn't > > know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and Chris> > have been > > wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have> upset> > chris by not > > being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I> > didn't. I can be > > very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm> > extremely > > overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and> I> > am a type 2 > > diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm> > suppose to take > > medicines for all this but there are days I don't.> I> > know what I'm > > suppose to do but in

the next breath, I don't care> > to take care of > > myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a> > hospital and for > > thirty six hours a week, I take care of people> then> > I come home and > > take care of my family and friends. then I'm> suppose> > to take care of > > myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've> been> > writing to a > > friend in india because she's been trying to help> me> > via email. I'm > > suppose to email her everyday with my daily food> > intake and most of > > the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and> > indenial. part > > of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that> part> > of me wants to > > stop it and get healthy but the other side of me> === message truncated

===JTereJ__________________________________________________________Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out.http://answers./dir/?link=list & sid=396545469

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Hi Heidi!

Each time you suffer ... Each time you fail ...

We suffer and we fail ... with you.

The essence of your Spirit is directly tied to God and the essence of God's Spirit is directly tied to each one of us, as well as you. Your oneness with God means far more than just acceptance. It means ... "participation in." The emotional experiences of man represent the throbbings of God's own heart - for it is God - the Divine Inspiration of the Universe - who has chosen to participate in your very personal experience too - with no judgment.

As do we.

I can't give you bladder or bowel control - I don't have any. I can't give you my legs - I'm a cripple. I can't give you my vision - I don't have much of that either.

The only thing I can give you is my gratitude for letting me (and everyone else here) participate in your experience. When you choose to share your failures, your obsessions, your addictions, your challenges - along with your pains and your joys at every extreme of the emotional gamut - you let God partake in your experience - through us

It eventually brings around a thing called ... JOY.

So when you call on the phone or via e-mail, the only butt-kicking you will get is a loud voice on the other side of the phone telling you how very very valuable you are and how very very loved you are ... no matter what ... non-performance based.

Sooner or later, you'll start picking up on this JOY thing too ... It'll happen after you learn to accept yourself - no matter what. Eventually, the JOY thing will become a virus that spreads around the world. So start singing it now - "I've got the JOY JOY JOY down in my heart!"

Or call me on the phone and I'll sing it to you.

Really loud!

(Like a good butt-kickin')

Hang in there girl!

Tim

Hi, Heidi,> > I don't have anything specific in mind, but I wondered a couple of> things as I read your letter. Your age and marital situation.> > ----- Original Message -----> > From: l_hyoung> > > > Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 2:42 PM> > Subject: [] Hi my name is Heidi> >> >> > good afternoon> > my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a> > month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't> > know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been> > wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not> > being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be> > very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely> > overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2> > diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take> > medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm> > suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of> > myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for> > thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and> > take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of> > myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a> > friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm> > suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of> > the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part> > of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to> > stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep> > my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over> > this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then> > after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've> > started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just> > who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful> > children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but> > when people say to me "you should control your weight and your> > health for your family" , I just blow them off.> > is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just> > kick me in the butt and straighten me out?> > I feel lost and alone.> > thank you for listening....> > I guess I needed to vent.> > peace and love> > heidi> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ---------------------------------> > Get the toolbar and be alerted to new email wherever you're> surfing.> >>

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Hi Heidi!

Each time you suffer ... Each time you fail ...

We suffer and we fail ... with you.

The essence of your Spirit is directly tied to God and the essence of God's Spirit is directly tied to each one of us, as well as you. Your oneness with God means far more than just acceptance. It means ... "participation in." The emotional experiences of man represent the throbbings of God's own heart - for it is God - the Divine Inspiration of the Universe - who has chosen to participate in your very personal experience too - with no judgment.

As do we.

I can't give you bladder or bowel control - I don't have any. I can't give you my legs - I'm a cripple. I can't give you my vision - I don't have much of that either.

The only thing I can give you is my gratitude for letting me (and everyone else here) participate in your experience. When you choose to share your failures, your obsessions, your addictions, your challenges - along with your pains and your joys at every extreme of the emotional gamut - you let God partake in your experience - through us

It eventually brings around a thing called ... JOY.

So when you call on the phone or via e-mail, the only butt-kicking you will get is a loud voice on the other side of the phone telling you how very very valuable you are and how very very loved you are ... no matter what ... non-performance based.

Sooner or later, you'll start picking up on this JOY thing too ... It'll happen after you learn to accept yourself - no matter what. Eventually, the JOY thing will become a virus that spreads around the world. So start singing it now - "I've got the JOY JOY JOY down in my heart!"

Or call me on the phone and I'll sing it to you.

Really loud!

(Like a good butt-kickin')

Hang in there girl!

Tim

Hi, Heidi,> > I don't have anything specific in mind, but I wondered a couple of> things as I read your letter. Your age and marital situation.> > ----- Original Message -----> > From: l_hyoung> > > > Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 2:42 PM> > Subject: [] Hi my name is Heidi> >> >> > good afternoon> > my name is Heidi and I've been a part of this group for over a> > month. I haven't said or post anything here yet because I didn't> > know what to say. I need help tho. Liane and have been> > wonderful on myspace. I feel that I might have upset chris by not> > being welcoming to advice he gave me and I hope I didn't. I can be> > very stubborn and resisting towards advice. I'm extremely> > overweight. I have depression, I weigh 340 lbs and I am a type 2> > diabetic. I also have high blood pressure. I'm suppose to take> > medicines for all this but there are days I don't. I know what I'm> > suppose to do but in the next breath, I don't care to take care of> > myself. I am a certified nurse's assistant in a hospital and for> > thirty six hours a week, I take care of people then I come home and> > take care of my family and friends. then I'm suppose to take care of> > myself but by then I'm too tired to care. I've been writing to a> > friend in india because she's been trying to help me via email. I'm> > suppose to email her everyday with my daily food intake and most of> > the time I lie about what I've eaten. I'm lazy and indenial. part> > of my brain is aware of what I'm doing and that part of me wants to> > stop it and get healthy but the other side of me just wants to sleep> > my way to death. I don't understand why I'm fighting myself over> > this. I have good intension to eat right and exersice but then> > after a week or two, I don't care and start back eating crappy. I've> > started counciling tho I probably won't continue because that's just> > who I am. I get scared and I stop going. I have two beautiful> > children who I would walk the road to hell and back for them but> > when people say to me "you should control your weight and your> > health for your family" , I just blow them off.> > is there anyone out there who can help me? someone who could just> > kick me in the butt and straighten me out?> > I feel lost and alone.> > thank you for listening....> > I guess I needed to vent.> > peace and love> > heidi> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ---------------------------------> > Get the toolbar and be alerted to new email wherever you're> surfing.> >>

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Hello Heidi

I completely understand how you feel and where you are at this moment

in time. You are a great carer, you care for others at work, you care

for and love your children, but you are not caring about you. Do you

love 'YOU'! I ask this because I have been here.

It all starts with loving yourself and feeling your own self worth.

Look at this beautiful list of who you are:

You are a lovely mum,

A good wife,

A caring nurse,

You love your kids,

You love your family,

You are a truly wonderful person.

You are not lazy... you are simply suffering from depression...and

above all, this is not your fault...

Tell me sweetheart, do you get fed up with orders, like, I must diet,

I have to take my medications, I have to loose wait. Aren't these

horrible things. We have free will and sometimes dont want to follow

orders.

I love you, you are very very special. I can help you if you want me to.

If you want to contact me, you can find me on MySpace.

www.myspace.com/reikicherylspace I would love to hear from you you

sound a wonderful person.

Lots of love

Cheryl x

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