Guest guest Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 the world news this is of causing me so much anxiety and stress lately. I to feel a strong sense of tears that are within me but wants of to come out and yet cant seem of to grasp the intense of the emotions of sensing things over and over to me this night. I to been of tyring to connect and so this night did be to connect with one off line who is of like a co moderator with me on my list, and she and me have been to have a knowing of each other for years. while I to not shared of my inner things I to be to just stayed to topic of her thread to me off line and so did have of some laughs to it all, but then I to be of getting ready to go to bed soon. I to be fo getting over anxious because of too much things to process and to be of anxious too such as the war and now the new war things, the presidnetial election things, the twisting of words and things so it makes it hard for me to understand again what is of the true words and which words are if lie ones. I to be of upset to a story of the news of the ferrel child of Florida ( debi this little girl is of much like you shared and is of to appear so very very autistic) but hers is of from severe severe abuse and neglect) and the little girl missing in florida. and then the killing of the americans in bejing it is of everywhere and one cant escape of all this tormenting news. I to be of set to speak tomorrow and having of panic because have to get up so early and I to not be of always a good morning person and usually while physically awake do not metaphorically mentally wake up until around 10-11. yet I to had of a good day in many ways but feel so much like of tears and lack why for this day to me. I to still need of to try to understand if will be of to do the TV show things and not sure if will or not yet. it seems like a much good things but yet at same it leaves of much things open to vulnerability too. right now too I to been out to my garden earlier and must be to had of gotten some oil from one of my flower plants and got of it to my eyes which caused of a burning and stinging of my eyes. I to then put of drops into them of the dry eyes things and then of the allergy eye drops and then in time the restasis and then it seemed to calm but now the upper lip and below of the nose of me is of burning and such as if it is of been to got of sun burned or wind burned of it but did not it just began of to hurt of me too so I to think my body is of reacting to one of my plants in my garden. I to had of a good session with my therapist and group and in group we watched one of our group members video of him on a TV show called " in the know " which is of a trivia like show for much smart high school kids competing in acadmic topic and done like a trivia game sort of. He was of ever so much smart and brave to be on the show, and so he and another one of the group members and my therapist were of all much so quick to be of to answer those questions and for me was still trying to put the words together and form a meaning and not even really began to understand of the meaning before they can be of to answer of it. I to lack how people know of words and respond so quickly to questions asked so quickly. For me cant do verbal this quickly and yet I to try to pass as if I to do and yet not. I to really get of a few of the words out of the whole of them and try hard to base the whole off the few and this leaves of me not really getting of it/ sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Sondra, I pray that your anxiety will calm/ease, for peace inside you, and for a spectacular experience at your speaking engagement today! Have you read " The Fabric of Autism " by Judith Bluestone? You might relate to her story in a big way--she's got an incredible program with HANDLE that helps with sensory and anxiety. Penny > > the world news this is of causing me so much anxiety and stress > lately. I to feel a strong sense of tears that are within me but > wants of to come out and yet cant seem of to grasp the intense of the > emotions of sensing things over and over to me this night. > > I to been of tyring to connect and so this night did be to connect > with one off line who is of like a co moderator with me on my list, > and she and me have been to have a knowing of each other for years. > while I to not shared of my inner things I to be to just stayed to > topic of her thread to me off line and so did have of some laughs to > it all, but then I to be of getting ready to go to bed soon. > > I to be fo getting over anxious because of too much things to process > and to be of anxious too such as the war and now the new war things, > the presidnetial election things, the twisting of words and things so > it makes it hard for me to understand again what is of the true words > and which words are if lie ones. I to be of upset to a story of the > news of the ferrel child of Florida ( debi this little girl is of > much like you shared and is of to appear so very very autistic) but > hers is of from severe severe abuse and neglect) and the little girl > missing in florida. and then the killing of the americans in bejing > it is of everywhere and one cant escape of all this tormenting news. > > I to be of set to speak tomorrow and having of panic because have to > get up so early and I to not be of always a good morning person and > usually while physically awake do not metaphorically mentally wake up > until around 10-11. > > yet I to had of a good day in many ways but feel so much like of > tears and lack why for this day to me. > > I to still need of to try to understand if will be of to do the TV > show things and not sure if will or not yet. it seems like a much > good things but yet at same it leaves of much things open to > vulnerability too. > > right now too I to been out to my garden earlier and must be to had > of gotten some oil from one of my flower plants and got of it to my > eyes which caused of a burning and stinging of my eyes. I to then put > of drops into them of the dry eyes things and then of the allergy eye > drops and then in time the restasis and then it seemed to calm but > now the upper lip and below of the nose of me is of burning and such > as if it is of been to got of sun burned or wind burned of it but did > not it just began of to hurt of me too so I to think my body is of > reacting to one of my plants in my garden. > > I to had of a good session with my therapist and group and in group > we watched one of our group members video of him on a TV show > called " in the know " which is of a trivia like show for much smart > high school kids competing in acadmic topic and done like a trivia > game sort of. He was of ever so much smart and brave to be on the > show, and so he and another one of the group members and my therapist > were of all much so quick to be of to answer those questions and for > me was still trying to put the words together and form a meaning and > not even really began to understand of the meaning before they can be > of to answer of it. I to lack how people know of words and respond so > quickly to questions asked so quickly. For me cant do verbal this > quickly and yet I to try to pass as if I to do and yet not. I to > really get of a few of the words out of the whole of them and try > hard to base the whole off the few and this leaves of me not really > getting of it/ > > sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Sondra, I pray that your anxiety will calm/ease, for peace inside you, and for a spectacular experience at your speaking engagement today! Have you read " The Fabric of Autism " by Judith Bluestone? You might relate to her story in a big way--she's got an incredible program with HANDLE that helps with sensory and anxiety. Penny > > the world news this is of causing me so much anxiety and stress > lately. I to feel a strong sense of tears that are within me but > wants of to come out and yet cant seem of to grasp the intense of the > emotions of sensing things over and over to me this night. > > I to been of tyring to connect and so this night did be to connect > with one off line who is of like a co moderator with me on my list, > and she and me have been to have a knowing of each other for years. > while I to not shared of my inner things I to be to just stayed to > topic of her thread to me off line and so did have of some laughs to > it all, but then I to be of getting ready to go to bed soon. > > I to be fo getting over anxious because of too much things to process > and to be of anxious too such as the war and now the new war things, > the presidnetial election things, the twisting of words and things so > it makes it hard for me to understand again what is of the true words > and which words are if lie ones. I to be of upset to a story of the > news of the ferrel child of Florida ( debi this little girl is of > much like you shared and is of to appear so very very autistic) but > hers is of from severe severe abuse and neglect) and the little girl > missing in florida. and then the killing of the americans in bejing > it is of everywhere and one cant escape of all this tormenting news. > > I to be of set to speak tomorrow and having of panic because have to > get up so early and I to not be of always a good morning person and > usually while physically awake do not metaphorically mentally wake up > until around 10-11. > > yet I to had of a good day in many ways but feel so much like of > tears and lack why for this day to me. > > I to still need of to try to understand if will be of to do the TV > show things and not sure if will or not yet. it seems like a much > good things but yet at same it leaves of much things open to > vulnerability too. > > right now too I to been out to my garden earlier and must be to had > of gotten some oil from one of my flower plants and got of it to my > eyes which caused of a burning and stinging of my eyes. I to then put > of drops into them of the dry eyes things and then of the allergy eye > drops and then in time the restasis and then it seemed to calm but > now the upper lip and below of the nose of me is of burning and such > as if it is of been to got of sun burned or wind burned of it but did > not it just began of to hurt of me too so I to think my body is of > reacting to one of my plants in my garden. > > I to had of a good session with my therapist and group and in group > we watched one of our group members video of him on a TV show > called " in the know " which is of a trivia like show for much smart > high school kids competing in acadmic topic and done like a trivia > game sort of. He was of ever so much smart and brave to be on the > show, and so he and another one of the group members and my therapist > were of all much so quick to be of to answer those questions and for > me was still trying to put the words together and form a meaning and > not even really began to understand of the meaning before they can be > of to answer of it. I to lack how people know of words and respond so > quickly to questions asked so quickly. For me cant do verbal this > quickly and yet I to try to pass as if I to do and yet not. I to > really get of a few of the words out of the whole of them and try > hard to base the whole off the few and this leaves of me not really > getting of it/ > > sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Sondra, I pray that your anxiety will calm/ease, for peace inside you, and for a spectacular experience at your speaking engagement today! Have you read " The Fabric of Autism " by Judith Bluestone? You might relate to her story in a big way--she's got an incredible program with HANDLE that helps with sensory and anxiety. Penny > > the world news this is of causing me so much anxiety and stress > lately. I to feel a strong sense of tears that are within me but > wants of to come out and yet cant seem of to grasp the intense of the > emotions of sensing things over and over to me this night. > > I to been of tyring to connect and so this night did be to connect > with one off line who is of like a co moderator with me on my list, > and she and me have been to have a knowing of each other for years. > while I to not shared of my inner things I to be to just stayed to > topic of her thread to me off line and so did have of some laughs to > it all, but then I to be of getting ready to go to bed soon. > > I to be fo getting over anxious because of too much things to process > and to be of anxious too such as the war and now the new war things, > the presidnetial election things, the twisting of words and things so > it makes it hard for me to understand again what is of the true words > and which words are if lie ones. I to be of upset to a story of the > news of the ferrel child of Florida ( debi this little girl is of > much like you shared and is of to appear so very very autistic) but > hers is of from severe severe abuse and neglect) and the little girl > missing in florida. and then the killing of the americans in bejing > it is of everywhere and one cant escape of all this tormenting news. > > I to be of set to speak tomorrow and having of panic because have to > get up so early and I to not be of always a good morning person and > usually while physically awake do not metaphorically mentally wake up > until around 10-11. > > yet I to had of a good day in many ways but feel so much like of > tears and lack why for this day to me. > > I to still need of to try to understand if will be of to do the TV > show things and not sure if will or not yet. it seems like a much > good things but yet at same it leaves of much things open to > vulnerability too. > > right now too I to been out to my garden earlier and must be to had > of gotten some oil from one of my flower plants and got of it to my > eyes which caused of a burning and stinging of my eyes. I to then put > of drops into them of the dry eyes things and then of the allergy eye > drops and then in time the restasis and then it seemed to calm but > now the upper lip and below of the nose of me is of burning and such > as if it is of been to got of sun burned or wind burned of it but did > not it just began of to hurt of me too so I to think my body is of > reacting to one of my plants in my garden. > > I to had of a good session with my therapist and group and in group > we watched one of our group members video of him on a TV show > called " in the know " which is of a trivia like show for much smart > high school kids competing in acadmic topic and done like a trivia > game sort of. He was of ever so much smart and brave to be on the > show, and so he and another one of the group members and my therapist > were of all much so quick to be of to answer those questions and for > me was still trying to put the words together and form a meaning and > not even really began to understand of the meaning before they can be > of to answer of it. I to lack how people know of words and respond so > quickly to questions asked so quickly. For me cant do verbal this > quickly and yet I to try to pass as if I to do and yet not. I to > really get of a few of the words out of the whole of them and try > hard to base the whole off the few and this leaves of me not really > getting of it/ > > sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Sondra, Â I avoid the news like the plauge. Â When satelite first came out they did not have the local channels so there was no news for me for many years. I wish it was a rule that they can only show stories that are resolved. Like they could only report the found girl and not that she is missing. Â Alas, it is my autistic world and some prefer to be right up to date so I just stick to the weather and try not to worry to much about things that are beyond my control. Subject: the world To: Autism_in_Girls Date: Monday, August 11, 2008, 7:03 PM the world news this is of causing me so much anxiety and stress lately. I to feel a strong sense of tears that are within me but wants of to come out and yet cant seem of to grasp the intense of the emotions of sensing things over and over to me this night. I to been of tyring to connect and so this night did be to connect with one off line who is of like a co moderator with me on my list, and she and me have been to have a knowing of each other for years. while I to not shared of my inner things I to be to just stayed to topic of her thread to me off line and so did have of some laughs to it all, but then I to be of getting ready to go to bed soon. I to be fo getting over anxious because of too much things to process and to be of anxious too such as the war and now the new war things, the presidnetial election things, the twisting of words and things so it makes it hard for me to understand again what is of the true words and which words are if lie ones. I to be of upset to a story of the news of the ferrel child of Florida ( debi this little girl is of much like you shared and is of to appear so very very autistic) but hers is of from severe severe abuse and neglect) and the little girl missing in florida. and then the killing of the americans in bejing it is of everywhere and one cant escape of all this tormenting news. I to be of set to speak tomorrow and having of panic because have to get up so early and I to not be of always a good morning person and usually while physically awake do not metaphorically mentally wake up until around 10-11. yet I to had of a good day in many ways but feel so much like of tears and lack why for this day to me. I to still need of to try to understand if will be of to do the TV show things and not sure if will or not yet. it seems like a much good things but yet at same it leaves of much things open to vulnerability too. right now too I to been out to my garden earlier and must be to had of gotten some oil from one of my flower plants and got of it to my eyes which caused of a burning and stinging of my eyes. I to then put of drops into them of the dry eyes things and then of the allergy eye drops and then in time the restasis and then it seemed to calm but now the upper lip and below of the nose of me is of burning and such as if it is of been to got of sun burned or wind burned of it but did not it just began of to hurt of me too so I to think my body is of reacting to one of my plants in my garden. I to had of a good session with my therapist and group and in group we watched one of our group members video of him on a TV show called " in the know " which is of a trivia like show for much smart high school kids competing in acadmic topic and done like a trivia game sort of. He was of ever so much smart and brave to be on the show, and so he and another one of the group members and my therapist were of all much so quick to be of to answer those questions and for me was still trying to put the words together and form a meaning and not even really began to understand of the meaning before they can be of to answer of it. I to lack how people know of words and respond so quickly to questions asked so quickly. For me cant do verbal this quickly and yet I to try to pass as if I to do and yet not. I to really get of a few of the words out of the whole of them and try hard to base the whole off the few and this leaves of me not really getting of it/ sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 I to try to avoid it but it just seems to be of everywhere and so it is of hard for me to escape it all and I to find that I to be of just hyper sensitive to the emotional states when humanity to me is of to have a suffering or tragedy with no just causes such as war and or the death of others out of randowm acts of rage and mental break downs of others, both in that is of to be of a tragedy. just not the family who lost of their lives or have been seriously hurt in the process but the person who crossed over the boundary of anger to rage and lost of complete control over their own beings.... choices that makes of thems own life of now damaged for ever too. I to also found the recent sense of emotional surging of tears to me was of due to allergic reaction or somethings of this to me as last night felt hyper reactive and hyper in mood and at same like a building up pf severe anxiety and could not understand of it all thinking this build up was of due to the news and things around me and in some part is of that but also because was of to have of this I to think allergic reaction. I was to have been out in my yeard working on pruning of some plants back and getting out of some of the weeds and such and later when done came in and washed of the hands as one plant when I to pruned of it back had of much thick milky white stuff coming out of the plant and got of on my hands but even though i to washed of the hands the oil of the plant must be to have gotten into the eyes and all over the face as within an hour of sitting down and doing of computer I to began of to have of much strong burning eyes which casues of the eyes to just water ever so profoundly and burn. and so I to had of to keep of putting in dry eye drops and allergy drops and restasis trying to stop of this burning and then the skin of my face began of to burn like a bad sun burn bu was of not in the sun burning of the skin but it then over night got of puffy and red and swollen and lacked why of to this so I to feel maybe this is of what causes of me to go to meltdown states over night. I to had of two hours of sleep and then spoke of all day. I to tehn comed home and took of some benydryl and sleeped for a few hours and now back up here to play but the eye is of reacting by to be of tearing up again so now it is of just iritated and such from this reaction yesterday and so once it begins it is of hard to get it calm again. But anyways I to not understand my body was of reacting before I to had any awareness of why I to not felt of right. so not sure if had of allergy reaction or if just ill again with somethings i to lack knowing of yet. It is of so hard for me to ever be to know. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 I to try to avoid it but it just seems to be of everywhere and so it is of hard for me to escape it all and I to find that I to be of just hyper sensitive to the emotional states when humanity to me is of to have a suffering or tragedy with no just causes such as war and or the death of others out of randowm acts of rage and mental break downs of others, both in that is of to be of a tragedy. just not the family who lost of their lives or have been seriously hurt in the process but the person who crossed over the boundary of anger to rage and lost of complete control over their own beings.... choices that makes of thems own life of now damaged for ever too. I to also found the recent sense of emotional surging of tears to me was of due to allergic reaction or somethings of this to me as last night felt hyper reactive and hyper in mood and at same like a building up pf severe anxiety and could not understand of it all thinking this build up was of due to the news and things around me and in some part is of that but also because was of to have of this I to think allergic reaction. I was to have been out in my yeard working on pruning of some plants back and getting out of some of the weeds and such and later when done came in and washed of the hands as one plant when I to pruned of it back had of much thick milky white stuff coming out of the plant and got of on my hands but even though i to washed of the hands the oil of the plant must be to have gotten into the eyes and all over the face as within an hour of sitting down and doing of computer I to began of to have of much strong burning eyes which casues of the eyes to just water ever so profoundly and burn. and so I to had of to keep of putting in dry eye drops and allergy drops and restasis trying to stop of this burning and then the skin of my face began of to burn like a bad sun burn bu was of not in the sun burning of the skin but it then over night got of puffy and red and swollen and lacked why of to this so I to feel maybe this is of what causes of me to go to meltdown states over night. I to had of two hours of sleep and then spoke of all day. I to tehn comed home and took of some benydryl and sleeped for a few hours and now back up here to play but the eye is of reacting by to be of tearing up again so now it is of just iritated and such from this reaction yesterday and so once it begins it is of hard to get it calm again. But anyways I to not understand my body was of reacting before I to had any awareness of why I to not felt of right. so not sure if had of allergy reaction or if just ill again with somethings i to lack knowing of yet. It is of so hard for me to ever be to know. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 I to try to avoid it but it just seems to be of everywhere and so it is of hard for me to escape it all and I to find that I to be of just hyper sensitive to the emotional states when humanity to me is of to have a suffering or tragedy with no just causes such as war and or the death of others out of randowm acts of rage and mental break downs of others, both in that is of to be of a tragedy. just not the family who lost of their lives or have been seriously hurt in the process but the person who crossed over the boundary of anger to rage and lost of complete control over their own beings.... choices that makes of thems own life of now damaged for ever too. I to also found the recent sense of emotional surging of tears to me was of due to allergic reaction or somethings of this to me as last night felt hyper reactive and hyper in mood and at same like a building up pf severe anxiety and could not understand of it all thinking this build up was of due to the news and things around me and in some part is of that but also because was of to have of this I to think allergic reaction. I was to have been out in my yeard working on pruning of some plants back and getting out of some of the weeds and such and later when done came in and washed of the hands as one plant when I to pruned of it back had of much thick milky white stuff coming out of the plant and got of on my hands but even though i to washed of the hands the oil of the plant must be to have gotten into the eyes and all over the face as within an hour of sitting down and doing of computer I to began of to have of much strong burning eyes which casues of the eyes to just water ever so profoundly and burn. and so I to had of to keep of putting in dry eye drops and allergy drops and restasis trying to stop of this burning and then the skin of my face began of to burn like a bad sun burn bu was of not in the sun burning of the skin but it then over night got of puffy and red and swollen and lacked why of to this so I to feel maybe this is of what causes of me to go to meltdown states over night. I to had of two hours of sleep and then spoke of all day. I to tehn comed home and took of some benydryl and sleeped for a few hours and now back up here to play but the eye is of reacting by to be of tearing up again so now it is of just iritated and such from this reaction yesterday and so once it begins it is of hard to get it calm again. But anyways I to not understand my body was of reacting before I to had any awareness of why I to not felt of right. so not sure if had of allergy reaction or if just ill again with somethings i to lack knowing of yet. It is of so hard for me to ever be to know. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 I also have a hard time letting horrible things go in my mind. Like the video of the child bouncing the little baby or the recent one of toddlers smoking pot. I just cannot quit thinking about the profound horror these little kids have been dealt at the hands of people who were supposed to care about them. But, us sitting and worrying about it cannot make it go away. It's hard turning off bad thoughts sometimes and I don't know why some of us can't seem to let them go. Maybe in these situations God is trying to teach us something about the world, Himself, or our purpose? I dunno. Maybe it's to make us be more ready to part from the evils of this world and into His eternal resting place for us. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 I also have a hard time letting horrible things go in my mind. Like the video of the child bouncing the little baby or the recent one of toddlers smoking pot. I just cannot quit thinking about the profound horror these little kids have been dealt at the hands of people who were supposed to care about them. But, us sitting and worrying about it cannot make it go away. It's hard turning off bad thoughts sometimes and I don't know why some of us can't seem to let them go. Maybe in these situations God is trying to teach us something about the world, Himself, or our purpose? I dunno. Maybe it's to make us be more ready to part from the evils of this world and into His eternal resting place for us. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 I also have a hard time letting horrible things go in my mind. Like the video of the child bouncing the little baby or the recent one of toddlers smoking pot. I just cannot quit thinking about the profound horror these little kids have been dealt at the hands of people who were supposed to care about them. But, us sitting and worrying about it cannot make it go away. It's hard turning off bad thoughts sometimes and I don't know why some of us can't seem to let them go. Maybe in these situations God is trying to teach us something about the world, Himself, or our purpose? I dunno. Maybe it's to make us be more ready to part from the evils of this world and into His eternal resting place for us. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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