It's back...

April 12, 2008

Hey folks,

It's been a while since I posted. The last comment my doctor had made was

that she didn't think I had Still's. I started feeling bad again and went

back to see her and asked her to clarify. I had seen 5 different

rheumatologist. They all had diagnosed Still's. Even her at first.

Her feedback was simply well, not everyone fits the typical Still's profile.

You see, I have never had the rash, no swollen joints and prednisone and

methotrexate did absolutely nothing for the pain. Only opiates and NSAIDS

helped. My pain was limited to my lower back down to my ankles.

My symptoms seem to be perennial on a yearly basis. If you look at my sed

rate and crp test results over the last 4 years it looks much like 4 heart

beats. Each spike occurring around the May - June time frame. What I

am seeing now is a slow steady climb in my sed rate over the last few

months. If it goes as it has the last 4 years, it will spike soon. To

make matters worse, I just took on a much more active role at work and am

under a great deal of stress. I have a persistent sore throat, mouth

sores and non-stop pain. At first I was open about my illness at work but

that backfired and I was forced to be secretive about it even to my boss.

It's becoming ever harder to work and the added stress isn't helping much.

Even though I have taken two Norco and a huge Ibuprofen I am in a fair

amount of pain as I type. No fevers thus far but I suspect that may be

due to the constant use of Ibuprofen. My eyes burn all the time as if I

have a fever. I wake up exhausted and go to bed much the same. This

year it has spread and is now affecting my upper body. I've noticed my

arms and shoulders are starting to hurt this year for the first time.

I guess one of the hardest things for me to admit is that I have this

disease. I may have to face it the rest of my life and that's really got

me depressed lately. I feel like giving up at times.

Hope some of you are feeling better than me. I still don't understand why

my symptoms are so different but I guess I accept that is just the nature of

the illness.

Regards,

Darv

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