Guest guest Posted June 23, 2007 Report Share Posted June 23, 2007 Hi, I'm going through some big challenges right now. It seems as if nothing is going right. Every time I start to feel better I get knocked down. I'm not sure what is blocking the blessings but I feel as if I'm in the black hole getting further and further sucked in. I do my best to think positve and lately it's been difficult. I have this feeling of wanting to hide cuz this blackness seems overwhelming. I currently am going through many challenges in my life. Tryng to get back to meditation and it's hard. I feel as though nothing I do is right and what is the point of being on this earth. My biggest challenge is losing custody of my children and now dealing with their dad. Everything he says/does triggors anger and the need to defend myself. I'm at te point where I just don't know what to do. I pray daily sometimes hourly and it doesn't feel enough. I would like to know how to let the darkness go so that there is room for the light. I need to forgive mostly myself and don't know how to do that so that I can really let go of the things holdin me prisoner. Thank you for listenting Blessings! ~A~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Hi , I'm truly sorry but do not despair. There is always light in the mist of darkness. My suggestion to you is to light a candle. Focus on that candle and see the glowing beauty. Feel it - of course I'm not asking you to touch it - but to feel the warmth. That warmth will start to come in you (you always had it) and your light will begin to take over you and that light will give you strength to confront all of your problems. Get yourself together and go after your kids. Love and Light, Tere --- lesliesangeleyes <lesliesangeleyes@...> wrote: > > Hi, I'm going through some big challenges right now. > It seems as if > nothing is going right. Every time I start to feel > better I get knocked > down. I'm not sure what is blocking the blessings > but I feel as if I'm > in the black hole getting further and further sucked > in. I do my best > to think positve and lately it's been difficult. I > have this feeling of > wanting to hide cuz this blackness seems > overwhelming. I currently am > going through many challenges in my life. Tryng to > get back to > meditation and it's hard. I feel as though nothing > I do is right and > what is the point of being on this earth. My > biggest challenge is > losing custody of my children and now dealing with > their dad. > Everything he says/does triggors anger and the need > to defend myself. > I'm at te point where I just don't know what to do. > I pray daily > sometimes hourly and it doesn't feel enough. I > would like to know how > to let the darkness go so that there is room for the > light. I need to > forgive mostly myself and don't know how to do that > so that I can really > let go of the things holdin me prisoner. Thank you > for listenting > > Blessings! ~A~ > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection. http://new.toolbar./toolbar/features/norton/index.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Tere, Steph & everyone, Thank you for your suggestions and thoughts. They are all much appreciated. I know the light is there, it always has been. It's dima but I will NOT ever let it go out. I also realize that I do posses strength otherwise I would not be challenged as I am. I am going back to the basics and take baby steps. I will light a candle and feel the warmth radiate within me. I will not allow the darkness to consume me. you are so right about our egos and being parents. I feel I have let my ego go but know that their father has not; for him it's about power and control which is why I pray for him and his wife that they find some peace within themselves. No, I haven't seen the blog, I have kinda been off myspace but will look at it tonight-thank you! I just want to give a heart felt thanks to everyone here. You are all so wonderful and kind and a huge blessing to my life. Blessings! Domestic Violence is a Crime! Be silent NO more! Be safe & Blessed! ~A~ ----- Original Message ----From: Tere Krazit <krazit21@...> Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2007 7:43:53 PMSubject: Re: [] hello everyone! Hi ,I'm truly sorry but do not despair. There is alwayslight in the mist of darkness. My suggestion to you isto light a candle. Focus on that candle and see theglowing beauty. Feel it - of course I'm not asking youto touch it - but to feel the warmth. That warmth willstart to come in you (you always had it) and yourlight will begin to take over you and that light willgive you strength to confront all of your problems.Get yourself together and go after your kids.Love and Light,Tere--- lesliesangeleyes <lesliesangeleyes>wrote:> > Hi, I'm going through some big challenges right now.> It seems as if> nothing is going right. Every time I start to feel> better I get knocked> down. I'm not sure what is blocking the blessings> but I feel as if I'm> in the black hole getting further and further sucked> in. I do my best> to think positve and lately it's been difficult. I> have this feeling of> wanting to hide cuz this blackness seems> overwhelming. I currently am> going through many challenges in my life. Tryng to> get back to> meditation and it's hard. I feel as though nothing> I do is right and> what is the point of being on this earth. My> biggest challenge is> losing custody of my children and now dealing with> their dad. > Everything he says/does triggors anger and the need> to defend myself. > I'm at te point where I just don't know what to do. > I pray daily> sometimes hourly and it doesn't feel enough. I> would like to know how> to let the darkness go so that there is room for the> light. I need to> forgive mostly myself and don't know how to do that> so that I can really> let go of the things holdin me prisoner. Thank you> for listenting> > Blessings! ~A~> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.http://new.toolbar. / toolbar/features /norton/index. php Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 All I can say is thank you. Reading your repsonse brought tears to my eyes. Somehow I know I am not alone facing this challenge. I lit some candles today to help bring peace into my home so the blackness goes away. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blessings! ~A~ Domestic Violence is a Crime! Be silent NO more! Be safe & Blessed! ~A~ ----- Original Message ----From: lianeqrz_legey <butterflygris@...> Sent: Monday, June 25, 2007 12:08:56 AMSubject: [] Re: hello everyone! Hello , First of all, I want to apologize for being absent and for not responding to your post .I have to say that I can imagine what you are facing on daily basis because I myself had a similar story myself with my ex husband. I still can remember the long days and even longer nights trying to figure out how to cope with my ex husband's blackmail. I send you a big hug, my sister,i will be praying for you with all my heart, because once i felt what you are feeling and I know ,it is not a good place to be. I can tell you that , believe me or not, this will come to pass, and I promise you, together we will go through this, you are never alone.You will get through this with radiant colors, I guarantee you.Everything passes, have faith and keep your shin up. We are here for you unconditionally. I send you many blessings, form my heart to yours. Liane >> > Hi, I'm going through some big challenges right now. It seems as if> nothing is going right. Every time I start to feel better I get knocked> down. I'm not sure what is blocking the blessings but I feel as if I'm> in the black hole getting further and further sucked in. I do my best> to think positve and lately it's been difficult. I have this feeling of> wanting to hide cuz this blackness seems overwhelming. I currently am> going through many challenges in my life. Tryng to get back to> meditation and it's hard. I feel as though nothing I do is right and> what is the point of being on this earth. My biggest challenge is> losing custody of my children and now dealing with their dad. > Everything he says/does triggors anger and the need to defend myself. > I'm at te point where I just don't know what to do. I pray daily> sometimes hourly and it doesn't feel enough. I would like to know how> to let the darkness go so that there is room for the light. I need to> forgive mostly myself and don't know how to do that so that I can really> let go of the things holdin me prisoner. Thank you for listenting> > Blessings! ~A~> Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 Hi , It is good to hear that you are gaining some positivity from your circumstances in being able to see beyond the situation and look at your own shortcomings. This is progress. I guess that one of the keys here is also to look at the way you view the participants in this: your children and your ex-husband in particular. man of wisdom that he is suggested to me quite recently in relation to some of my own personal problems at the moment, that when we view a relationship (and it doesn't matter what the relationship is: partner, children, ex-partners etc) it is a good idea to imagine that the relationship is a handful of sand. The question that we need to ask ourselves about this sand, is: are we squeezing it tightly and letting the sand run through our fingers, or are we holding it in our palm and allowing it to sit there? In relation to your children, perhaps there is a need for you to open your palm a little and hold the relationship, in whatever form it is at present and as much as it might hurt right now, a little more lightly. Let it just sit for a while rather than trying to squeeze it or force it to be something it is not at present. Also, I think it might be worthwhile looking at your view of your ex-husband. I would personally suggest trying a 'mette' or 'loving kindness' meditation. You see, while you hold a negative view of your ex, he will continue to live up to your view - he will be as you see him. To change him the first thing to do is to change your view. As your view of him begins to resonate with more understanding and then even love (in the sense that you can love him for the fact that he too is just trying to be happy and is also suffering with his own problems) you will begin to see that he actually starts to become the person you now see him as. To practice a simple mette meditation, find yourself a quiet space, relax and simply follow your breath for a while. As you relax more, bring your attention to the centre of your chest where your heart chakra is located. On each inbreath, see the heart centre opening up and a brilliant light of love filling you totally - going into every pore. Just do this for a few minutes to begin with - bring love to yourself. Then after a few minutes of this, visualise your ex-husband standing in front of you. On the outbreath, see the light from your heart centre going to him and surrounding him. Surround him with love. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them and take your focus back to recieving and sending love. Do this every day for a period of say, 10 to 15 minutes. It is not easy and might take you a while, but eventually, the forced transmission of love to your ex will become more natural until you can take this feeling into your everyday. When you start to genuinely feel compassion and love for him you will see that he will change. The world changes according to our thoughts. Everything that is 'out there' is there because we believe it to be so. Once we change our thoughts, we change the world. Most important of course is that bit of the world that is impacting on us. Don't know if this will help, but you are clearly going through a very traumatic period right now. It can be hard to even find the motivation to sit and try meditation when all you want to do is hide. Just try walking someplace if you can't sit. You can do the meditation on the go too - in fact try doing it at any time, where ever you are. Many blessings . Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2007 Report Share Posted July 7, 2007 Debbie, You are NOT a pain in the butt! And yes we LOVE you! I'm not the best speller either. Because of past problems with losing posts that I spent a long time writing, I now write everything in my email program or word processing program and then copy and past it to the post. That way I can spell check and make sure I don't lose everything I wrote! Hope that helps but as far as I'm concerned spelling doesn't matter it's the meaning behind the words and the spirit with which they were written. I'll post an example of what I mean I just have to find it. Much LOVE and LIGHT! Sheila > > > > > > Thanks for the 'Welcome' Liane! > > > > > > I am new to the group and have posted replies but I guess I never > > introduced myself. My name is Sheila. My journey to find the TRUTH > began > > when I was just a child. My Dad wasn't in my life much while I was > > growing up but I have him to thank for instilling in me the desire to > > seek the TRUTH. When I was 10 years old my Dad returned to Michigan. > (He > > was in the middle of a trek that would take him from Michigan to > > Montana. I don't know all the places he's lived but I know he traveled > > the Florida Keys, worked on the Alaskan pipeline, canoed down the > Yukon > > river, and lived in a commune in Malibu, California.) > > > > So, my Dad, my 7 year old brother, and I headed to the Upper Peninsula > > of Michigan one summer to camp and visit some friends of his on > Drummond > > Island. We stayed in the woods beside Lake Huron, we dived naked off > > giant rocks into the lake to swim and bathe, we picked berries and ate > > native plants my Dad harvested and cooked. I was miserable! I wanted > to > > be home with my friends, eating junk food, and watching TV. My Dad was > a > > stranger to me. He seemed weird and I was embarrassed of him. He had > > long hair and beard and didn't wear a shirt or shoes when we went > > places. I was bored but was an avid reader so I read " The Tibetan Book > > of the Dead " book my Dad had in his jeep. I asked my Dad a lot of > > questions about it and he talked with me about his beliefs. > > > > My Dad became a part of Clare Prophets organization ('Summit > > Lighthouse' or 'Church Universal and Triumphant'). He would send me a > > lot of information and long letters about spirituality. I was young > and > > wanted my Dad to be interested in what was going on in my life and for > > him to tell me about him not his 'church'. When I was 13 I got into > > trouble and my Mom sent me to California to live with my Dad. I lived > in > > a dorm at the church's school in Pasadena and he lived in Malibu. He > > picked me up at the airport when I arrived and handed me a jug of > orange > > liquid. I thought it was orange juice and took a big swallow and it > was > > warm carrot juice. YUK! (I love carrot juice now but like it cold) I > > rebelled against everything and everybody at the church and was sent > > back to Michigan a few months later. The best memory I have of > > California is my Dad taking me to dinner at The Inn of The Seventh Ray > > in Topanga Canyon and Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood to see > the > > premier of Star Wars! Wow! > > > > The things I learned from my Dad were always inside me. I married a > > fundamentalist Christian when I was 18. In 1987 I became very ill and > > was close to death when I was given the book, " Life After Life " by > > Moody. I devoured the book and was filled with JOY and HOPE. I > > read every book I could find on Near Death Experiences and then every > > book about reincarnation. I later became a 'born again' Christian but > > always questioned the churches teachings. I started attending Unity > > church after my divorce in 1999 and finally felt like I was being > taught > > concepts that made sense to me, rang TRUE to my heart and mind. I took > > alot of classes at Unity and learned alot about things like..positive > > thinking, affirmations, creating your own reality, living in the > moment, > > and codependency. One of the authors of " I'm Not Crazy, Lazy, or > Stupid " > > went to Unity and I attended a class the authors gave on Attention > > Deficit Disorder that changed my life. Using their coping skills I was > > able to attend college later and recieve a 3.99 GPA. > > > > I met my soul mate last November and moved to Kentucky to be with him. > > He has always been interested in the Mayan culture and so we are > > learning about it. We took a cruise to Mexico in May and toured the > > Mayan ruins at Chaccoben. It was amazing! I had spine surgery in > > December and haven't really gotten out to meet anyone here in > Kentucky. > > There are no Unity churches here so I'm depending on the internet to > > socialize and learn new things. I was lead to this group and know I > will > > learn a lot from all these wonderful people. I feel the LOVE and LIGHT > > here very strongly! I will strive to be a positive asset to the group. > > !NAMASTE! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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