Are You Ready For True Love ? [pt.1]

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Awakening Light Int. (Las Vegas NV)

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Are You READY For True Love, That's The Real Question? PT.1

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Are You Ready For True Love...that's the real question? Pt.1 Rev. Israel Malik Esters

I received a call from a friend of mine recently, questioning me about why we as humans have the NEED for romantic relationships? Well that is a loaded question and we could be here for days unraveling the many truths concerning the "why." I am questioned often about the perils of love and romance....hmmmm for whatever reason, most of my friends are going through romantic changes and entering into new seasons of romantic change....including myself, to tell the truth. Many have discovered that they are in less than ideal relationships causing great emotional, spiritual and mental distress. Now when I say ideal, I don't mean fairytale ideal...not at all. I'm speaking of the universal ideas and ideals that most of us have when it comes to what we want in a relationship. We want to be loved. We want kindness and understanding; we want companionship and loyalty; we want FRIENDSHIP; we want honesty and communication; we want compatibility and the opportunity to learn, to grow, to expand who we are. We want someone who "gets" us, in all of our sometimes weird glory. We want someone who cares for our heart. THIS to me is MOST important...I said "to me." I think it is important to have someone who really CARES FOR YOUR HEART....YOUR SPIRIT; A person like that will NEVER "break" your heart. We want someone who will "come see about me." And make no mistake MEN want this too.It's not that we want completeness THROUHGH a relationship, we want a COMPLETE RELATIONSHIP. Oh and don't forget, last but certainly not least, we want desire, romance, AFFECTION and sex. These aren't just wants, these are needs. Women NEED romance...and Men NEED SEX. Trust me on the latter :-) (Oh oh, I know I opened another door there, but that's another article) I'm amazed how these get pushed to the back often when speaking of relationships, and yet desire, attraction, AFFECTION, sex, flirtation, all are extremely important aspects to a relationship...just as important as honesty and communication.And although these above, are all universal themes in the novel of romance, the relationship that mirrors these themes appear to elude us, and we find ourselves in relationships where the opposite is tru...nooooo, not that word, how about, "is our....EXPERIENCE. So we end relationships left and right.Now I must speak to this from the spirituality that I teach which say's WE CREATE OUR OWN EXPERIENCES... for whatever reason. And if that be true( and it is) then the question (at least for me always) is, WHY DID I CREATE THIS FOR MYSELF? Why did I DRAW this experience into my life, world and affairs?There is something liberating about taking the blame OFF of your lover, spouse, partner and taking full responsibility for what IS taking place in your romantic life. "But he cheated!" "But she's impossible!" And that may very well be YOUR experience...and yet we're not talking about the experience, we're talking about YOU, and why is it that you have created this for yourself and what need is there in YOU, that convinces you to continue LINGERING IN IT (the experience) even though it's not serving, nourishing or nurturing your true SELF.Love is, I believe, or at least romantic love that is, the most complex thing between divine humans. It is romanticize, especially in this culture, and celebrated by millions daily, and yet most have no idea what it really is, or it's purpose in our lives. Many , Most, ALL OF OF US AT ONE TIME, enter relationships for the WRONG REASONS.We are looking for completion to put it simply. We are looking for healing. We unconsciously are looking for someone to heal our wounds. Wounds form childhood, wounds from our bad relationship with our Father, wounds from our high school nightmares. We are looking for someone who will tell us we're all right... even if we're not. We want someone to SEE our worthiness, our humanness, we want someone to validate our existence our divinity. We enter relationships to escape a bad life at home, or to fulfill some idea of adventure we've had in our daydreams since we were eight; To live out our Cosby Show or Brady Bunch fantasies, perhaps. We enter relationships for security; financial, sometimes emotional and spiritual security. We enter relationships because in the words of the late great (Phyllis Hyman) "I Can't Stand This Living All Alone." And the most common, for desire, attraction and sex. We are forever searching for someone to heal the pain in our brain.And that is where the problem rests. For the matter is, we get into the relationship and we discover that our lover cannot heal our pain! We discover that they HAVE THEIR OWN PAIN, and they CAN'T or have not healed themselves yet. In most cases YOU can well see that not only have they not healed their stuff. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THEY HAVE ISSUES TO HEAL!Are you Ready for True Love...that's the real question?Part 2 will continue tomorrow.

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