What is wrong with me???

[Guest guest]

I know this isn't a mental health board! lol...

I am facing some issues about losing weight. I desperately want to be

healthy and I love the healthy lifestyle. However, I am scared to

death to actually lose the weight and 'look' better, not because of

what I think but because of what others think. I don't want to lose

friends and I don't want men treating me differently, although I know

they will. Going from everyone ignoring me to getting attention is

hard for me to deal with. This has been a wonderful support group. I

have taken a back seat the last year and observed more than anything.

I know there are a lot of you that can give me some positive advice.

I need some 'girl' advice that has experienced the same, not a

counselor! I am 37, in my high school and college days I couldn't go

anywhere without a guy hootin' or a hollering, following me home,

etc...I did not dress provocatively either....I fell into a comfort

zone that if I were bigger they'd ignore me. I found my comfort

zone....This is something I need to get over....Now that I am older, I

realize I am not going to be as attractive which I am happy

about.....it's a different age group and hopefully they won't be

bothering me...but i've had guys come up to me and ask me if I am

married at the grocery store, mall or hotel with the kids recently,

already a change..... I just don't like the attention and it is

preventing me from continuing. I don't go to bars...I don't look for

attention, etc... Please tell me everyone deals with this to some

degree and please tell me how you ignore it. I need some skilsd that

I dont' have and I need to learn it.....I just can't take the niceness

and the attention from people based on fat and not who you are as a

person. Why I would be putting how others treat me in front of what I

want is beyond me. Give me some girl power girls! Maybe I am just

crazy????

I've been doing BFL now for amlost a year. I should say, I've been

attempting BFL for a year now! I have lost 45 lbs. By all means, I

did not live by the book, but I tried and I never gave up. I have a

lot of weight to lose, 50 more until my first goal weight and then

I'll make goals after that. I think I've had 2- 5 clean weeks out of

the whole year, not consecutively. My results prove progress can be

made without being perfect! I did have a rough year with my nephew,

11, passing away. He's been a huge part of my life, so I didn't do as

well as I should have during his hospitalization, death, funeral, and

after...

I am also preventing myself from going further because I don't want

attention from people....

My goal is to make 24 straight clean weeks in 2008, no mater what

others think or say!!! How's that for a start? Also, If I could

share my run-ins of being treated differently, i'd like to share and

see what support you have. IGNORE THEM would be the response..right?!

I'd appreciate it...at least I'd have a way to vent it. If I am

lucky, I won't get any attention!!!!

Thanks

[Guest guest]

This is something that so many people deal with. Get too much unwanted

attention and it's tempting to soothe your nerves with food and go back to

being safely invisible.

There are a couple of things that I would tell you to keep in mind.

- Nobody can make you feel anything. You're entirely in control how you

handle these situations and to what degree you let them affect you. The more

secure you become within yourself, the less everybody else's feedback

matters. So, it's important to pursue activities that give you confidence

and make you happy. Maybe volunteering, taking a class, joining a group. If

you have a strong inner you, the outer you isn't such a major issue.

- Any friend who wants to keep you overweight, or criticizes your efforts,

or doesn't want to be around you unless you have a non-threatening body

and a nice low self-esteem is not really a friend. I mean, come on!! Lose

those people already, and make new friends who share your goals and support

you.

- If some fool that you don't want to talk to asks you if you're married,

the answer is - Yes, my husband is a SWAT sniper / professional wrestler /

NFL lineman.

Keep your perspective and sense of humor. You can let unwanted attention

become a huge obstacle and use it as an excuse to quit, or you can laugh

about it and shrug it off.

On Jan 4, 2008 8:44 AM, marie_thisisit <no_reply > wrote:

> I know this isn't a mental health board! lol...

> I am facing some issues about losing weight. I desperately want to be

> healthy and I love the healthy lifestyle. However, I am scared to

> death to actually lose the weight and 'look' better, not because of

> what I think but because of what others think. I don't want to lose

> friends and I don't want men treating me differently, although I know

> they will. Going from everyone ignoring me to getting attention is

> hard for me to deal with. This has been a wonderful support group. I

> have taken a back seat the last year and observed more than anything.

> I know there are a lot of you that can give me some positive advice.

> I need some 'girl' advice that has experienced the same, not a

> counselor! I am 37, in my high school and college days I couldn't go

> anywhere without a guy hootin' or a hollering, following me home,

> etc...I did not dress provocatively either....I fell into a comfort

> zone that if I were bigger they'd ignore me. I found my comfort

> zone....This is something I need to get over....Now that I am older, I

> realize I am not going to be as attractive which I am happy

> about.....it's a different age group and hopefully they won't be

> bothering me...but i've had guys come up to me and ask me if I am

> married at the grocery store, mall or hotel with the kids recently,

> already a change..... I just don't like the attention and it is

> preventing me from continuing. I don't go to bars...I don't look for

> attention, etc... Please tell me everyone deals with this to some

> degree and please tell me how you ignore it. I need some skilsd that

> I dont' have and I need to learn it.....I just can't take the niceness

> and the attention from people based on fat and not who you are as a

> person. Why I would be putting how others treat me in front of what I

> want is beyond me. Give me some girl power girls! Maybe I am just

> crazy????

>

> I've been doing BFL now for amlost a year. I should say, I've been

> attempting BFL for a year now! I have lost 45 lbs. By all means, I

> did not live by the book, but I tried and I never gave up. I have a

> lot of weight to lose, 50 more until my first goal weight and then

> I'll make goals after that. I think I've had 2- 5 clean weeks out of

> the whole year, not consecutively. My results prove progress can be

> made without being perfect! I did have a rough year with my nephew,

> 11, passing away. He's been a huge part of my life, so I didn't do as

> well as I should have during his hospitalization, death, funeral, and

> after...

>

> I am also preventing myself from going further because I don't want

> attention from people....

>

> My goal is to make 24 straight clean weeks in 2008, no mater what

> others think or say!!! How's that for a start? Also, If I could

> share my run-ins of being treated differently, i'd like to share and

> see what support you have. IGNORE THEM would be the response..right?!

> I'd appreciate it...at least I'd have a way to vent it. If I am

> lucky, I won't get any attention!!!!

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>