Introduction for new and old members

[Guest guest]

Hello to so many new members!!

Thank you Debbie for such a warm welcome back, I have read your messages through the group and I just wanted to let you know my brain not only reads but also writes dyslexic as well, (although I'm in no way multi lingual!! lol)

I thought that perhaps now is a good time to intoduce my self and my background a little to some of the new members.

As you know, my name is Rhonda but most of my friends call me Rhondie. I am 39 years old, pisces earth monkey living on the east coast of New South Wales, Australia, roughly half way between Sydney & Brisbane, near Coffs Harbour, with my (nearly) 15yo son Nick and our (nearly) 17 yo boarder . has been like a brother to Nick their whole lives and his mother Helen is my best friend, so we are like our own little "quasi" family. I'm a bit of a hippy at heart and believe global healing will be our salvation on earth.

I find much support from my immediate circle of friends who are all very spiritually minded people and a blessing to have in my life.

My earliest childhood was full of domestic violence and abuse and my brothers and I were all dragged out of bed by my father and made to witness my mother being beaten on a regular basis until my parents got divorced when I was 5. I don't remember much of that, but I do recall the screaming matches between them on the front lawn when dad would come to pick us up for the weekend. My mother was always very vocal with her criticisms of him and quite often would fly into a tirade even at the mention of his name. They both used us as pawns in their bloody battle against each other.

My dad went on to abuse my stepmother in their earlier years together and my stepfather turned out to be yet another abuser of my mum. At the age of 17 my stepdad inadvertently dragged me into one of his drunken disputes with her (she hated alcohol) which erupted into physical violence and all I could do was try and get this man (who'd been like a father) off my mother. I copped a couple of punches to the head for my trouble, but I got her out of there. He wouldn't let us drive out of the driveway, but the violence stopped. Of course she went back and he did eventually learn to control himself to the point where he'd just put holes in walls, but in, all she endured far too many broken bones and black eyes and fear in her life for my liking.

Mum harboured a lot of bitterness and was a very hard task master. It seemed that nothing we did was ever good enough for her. That did eventually change throughout the years and she learned to drop her expectations of us and just love us for the beautiful spiritual adults we became. I had a couple of major confrontations with her over the years regarding her expectations and judgements especially during my struggle to "cut the apron strings" and live my own life. Inevitably I came to understand that she did the absolute best she could with the knowledge and awareness that she had at the time. The same holds true for my dad and my stepdad and this is how I have come to forgive them and myself over the years.

I have experienced several different types of therapy/healing teqhniques/psychic development workshops over the years including rebirthing, crystal healing, body magik, psychometry and have been reading tarot since my son was a baby. I have explored many different spiritual philosophies over the years and am always open to new experiences and learning. Louise Hay and Shirley Maclaine were influential in my earlier days of empowerment, as was Dawn Hill and Ruth Montgomery.

My mum passed away unexpectedly in December last year not quite 57 years of age. Although she went blessedly quickly from heart failure, and I am joyous that she has graduated, the shock of her passing without warning, without saying goodbye, without telling her I love her and without thanking her, has been huge and I'm now just starting to come out the other side of the most intense grief I've ever experienced. She had become my rock and my best friend.

Surprisingly enough, my dad has stepped up to the plate and is more supportive now than he ever has been in our lives and my beloved younger brother is finally getting some much needed support. My two brothers, my stepsister and my youngest (half) brother and I are all bonded in our childhood experiences together and there is a lot of love, forgiveness and acceptance between us and we realise that mum was the butter that held us all together. Before she died, she was our common denominator as we all lived very seperate lives but mum insisted we always get together at easter or christmas or someones birthday if she could. She organised our family get togethers. She always referred to us as "you children" even though we're all adults and I realise in my heart, we are all still children, it's funny cos we always said "us kids" in reference to ourselves in conversation with her or dad or each other! We still do. Gee, I could write a book I suppose!

Anyway, I share with you only part perception of my unique experience here thus far, and I think I've done so because it sheds light as to why I'm drawn to this group perhaps, and I think it has to do with forgiveness. Forgiving our mother, our father, our abusers and most importantly our selves. Moving forward with love and lightness of spirit is not always an easy thing to accomplish, but it is specifically through our unique experiences that we have the opportunity to embody the emotional and spiritual understanding of our lessons here. (I believe anyway, and this works for me)

My life has been monumentally upended in the last twelve months and the changes have been one after the next in such rapid succession so as to have left me totally reeling and shellshocked for a few months.......(worse than any smack in the jaw I ever had as a teenager, at least I recovered quickly -in earth terms- from that!! lol)

Basically in a nutshell, my partner (of 2years) and I split up this time last year. I lost my job in November. My mum died in December. January my rental house went up for sale and my son's mobile phone bill came in at $500, but still no work. February my cousin shot himself and I wrote my car off on the way to his farewell, I have mums car in the driveway now. March I moved house, still no job. April and Easter I went to mums, but spent everyday at the hospital with my brother who was in the psychiatric ward at that time, May I finally got a job and met a beautiful woman, but my kitten was hit by a car and had to be put down the day I started. What a year it's been!! Incredibly up and down!

I believe everything is unfolding perfectly as it should and I have faith that I am right where I need to be at this point in time for good or bad.

If you'd like to check out my poetic ramblings, I posted "Neptune Dreaming" through the group a couple of months ago and I also have a myspace page which is www.myspace.com/rhondiel where I have posted it and a few other funny bits and pieces. I have pics of my self and my family that I'm proud to share with any one who cares to look.

Anyway, this is such an amazing group and my love thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. , I pray for healing for you and your children, I know how it feels to be seperated from those you love and I know how it feels to have your head filled with poisionous thoughts as a child, that one parent has towards the other, so I'm sending much love your way. Laurie, I pray continually for you to be pain free and I pray for love, light and healing for everyone.

Love & Light,

Rhonda

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