Afraid of Free Days/Easter

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Hi Ladies (sorry if this is too long/whiney...)

Today is my first day of week 11. I am so close to the end, and of

course, I started coming down with something yesterday and not I feel

like crap. Not sure how I'm getting my cardio in today...

Any of you who have seen my posts know that I am a bit obsessed with

the numbers - though I know that muscle takes up less room than fat

and that the whole idea is to be toned and fit, not just to lose

numbers. I stick to the eating program rather religiously (counting

grams, calories, and sticking to proportions), though I tend to make

my strength workouts a bit longer (personal trainer for one hour and a

one-hour Body Pump class replace 2 of my strength workouts. For

cardio, I do 2x20 minutes of HIIT and then a one-hour hard core cardio

class each week.

Anyway, I have become rather afraid of my free days and I am nowhere

near where I thought I'd be by the end of the challenge, which happens

in a couple of weeks. The reason I am afraid of my free days is that

even when I am " good " on my free days (i.e. calories still within a

reasonable range -- less than 2000), I spend the whole next week

" losing " the weight I " gained " during my free day! I tend to gain

about 3 pounds on a free day. I know that I am not eating 10,500

extra calories (3 X 3500) on these days. I also know that the weight

gained is supposed to only be water weight. However, it still takes

all week to lose the weight and I get very frustrated and depressed

about it.

Overall, BFL has really been a godsend. I have done well -- 11 pounds

-- but 6 of those were in the first week or two. I'm 5'3 " and

weigh-ins are as follows:

Start 1/6: 138

1/13: 133.5

1/18: 132

1/26: 132.5 Gained .5 somehow???

2/1: 132.5 Kept the .5

2/9: 130.5

2/16: 129.5

2/23: 130 (This was a week after going to Myrtle beach and going

off the program for a couple of days.)

3/1: 129

3/8: 128

3/15: 126.5 (Technically 125.5, but I gave blood the night

before.)Started flax this week, which I think really helped. I was

losing at a good clip.

3/21: 127 back up...

I am just now getting to that lower number from last week, but Easter

is coming up -- and we are hosting the dinner. I'm really tired of

being paranoid about the free days, and I know that Bill says

that they are needed, but I am so close to not taking them just to see

if I do better. However, how do you NOT make Easter a free day???

Is there anyone out there who isn't taking her free days? If so, why,

and how is that working for you? Also... When I finish this challenge

in less than two weeks, I am going to be on vacation for spring break.

I have heard that you are supposed to take a free week at the end of

a challenge before you go on to the next challenge (which I'm going to

do until I am happy with my body). However, if I am afraid of a free

day, what will a free WEEK do to me???

Thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions!