Guest guest Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 Funny this topic should come up today... My daughter who is 11 had a bad week in school last week. She watched her teacher write me a note in her agenda. My daughter got home before me and when I came home she told me that her teacher had written that she had a good day at school. When I looked in the agenda, half the page had been ripped out, the words " Amy had a good day in school, from Miss XXX " were very neatly printed--in Amy's printing!!! When I confronted her, Amy told me where she had put the real note-in the kitchen garbage under a whole bunch of other stuff. On the one hand, I was horrified by the extent of the lie, but on the other, thrilled that she was so resourceful. I was quite stern with her about the whole incident, but my husband and I had a private giggle Leanne > > > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just > > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something > > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did > > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's > > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's > > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to > > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in > > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! > > > > Debi > > > > > > > -- > > -- Cassie Zupke > Director, Open Doors Now > > > Click the link below to join our new Open Doors Now group information site to access all our group news, calendar, forums, and current autism information. > > http://www.bigtent.com/hosted/opndrs/invitation? hosted_key=a46063592584264652878e483a3a1cf2 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 A speaker came to our group the other day -- a woman who's been working with Asp/Aut kids for decades. She says she likes it when the kids start to lie because it means they're learning social functioning. Of course she doesn't want them to keep it up, but she definately thinks it's a higher functioning skill, just like stealing and cheating. In someof her classes they use picture schedules with pictures on velcro to indicate what kids are doing that day. One of the kids loved computer time so he took all the computer pictures from everyone else's schedules and put them on his. She made him put them all back but she was delighted that he figured it out. -- Cassie Debi wrote: > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! > > Debi > > -- -- Cassie Zupke Director, Open Doors Now Click the link below to join our new Open Doors Now group information site to access all our group news, calendar, forums, and current autism information. http://www.bigtent.com/hosted/opndrs/invitation?hosted_key=a46063592584264652878\ e483a3a1cf2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2008 Report Share Posted October 4, 2008 my daughter did a similar thing when she was younger with her book....only the aide wrote in pencil this one day, and hannah rubbed it out completely......we all had a laugh the aide included, finally hannah realised how mummy got to know everything that happened at school!!! Cheryl S [chez] To: Autism_in_Girls@...: statement65@...: Sun, 5 Oct 2008 01:45:38 +0000Subject: Re: lying Funny this topic should come up today...My daughter who is 11 had a bad week in school last week. She watched her teacher write me a note in her agenda. My daughter got home before me and when I came home she told me that her teacher had written that she had a good day at school. When I looked in the agenda, half the page had been ripped out, the words " Amy had a good day in school, from Miss XXX " were very neatly printed--in Amy's printing!!!When I confronted her, Amy told me where she had put the real note-in the kitchen garbage under a whole bunch of other stuff.On the one hand, I was horrified by the extent of the lie, but on the other, thrilled that she was so resourceful.I was quite stern with her about the whole incident, but my husband and I had a private giggle :)Leanne> > > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just> > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something> > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did> > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's> > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's> > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to> > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in> > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up!> >> > Debi> >> > > > > -- > > -- Cassie Zupke> Director, Open Doors Now> > > Click the link below to join our new Open Doors Now group information site to access all our group news, calendar, forums, and current autism information.> > http://www.bigtent.com/hosted/opndrs/invitation?hosted_key=a46063592584264652878\ e483a3a1cf2> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Debi Annie has tried lying to me and it had some bad results. I know that I don t always know that what she is saying is the absolute truth but for the most part, she is truthful to me. She lied to me once while in grade school about her hitting another child at school. Seems when the truth finally came out, the other child had been picking at Annie for a long time. On the way back from a field trip one day the other child was sitting on the bus behind Annie kicking her seat and pulling her hair and being a general pain to her. When they got off the bus to go back in the sschool, Annie tapped the other child on the shoulder and when she turned around to see what she wanted, Annie punched her square in the nose. The principal said the only thing she could do was punish Annie because she admitted to her that she had hit the child. Annie told me she got in trouble but it was the other girl's fault. When the whole truth came out, I refused to let the principal punish Annie. Their form of punishment for a punch in the face was to spend three days in the office and to be spanked. Now where is the logic in that? I took Annie out of school for the three days she was to spend in the office (it was the end of school year). Those three days were more like play days for the grade school anyhow. Annie didn t get to participate in the fun for the three days but she didn't get spanked either. Dianna Annie's mother -- lying Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Schools can't legally spank our kids anymore, can they? At least, in California I'm pretty sure they can't. I'm pretty sure they haven't been able to do that for some years now. I'm glad you kept your daughter out of school for those three days. What a jackass the principal is, IMO. Don The Whole Truth Nothing But the Truth So Help Me God... _____ From: Autism_in_Girls [mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On Behalf Of Dianna Caffee Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 6:48 AM To: Autism_in_Girls Subject: Re: lying Debi Annie has tried lying to me and it had some bad results. I know that I don t always know that what she is saying is the absolute truth but for the most part, she is truthful to me. She lied to me once while in grade school about her hitting another child at school. Seems when the truth finally came out, the other child had been picking at Annie for a long time. On the way back from a field trip one day the other child was sitting on the bus behind Annie kicking her seat and pulling her hair and being a general pain to her. When they got off the bus to go back in the sschool, Annie tapped the other child on the shoulder and when she turned around to see what she wanted, Annie punched her square in the nose. The principal said the only thing she could do was punish Annie because she admitted to her that she had hit the child. Annie told me she got in trouble but it was the other girl's fault. When the whole truth came out, I refused to let the principal punish Annie. Their form of punishment for a punch in the face was to spend three days in the office and to be spanked. Now where is the logic in that? I took Annie out of school for the three days she was to spend in the office (it was the end of school year). Those three days were more like play days for the grade school anyhow. Annie didn t get to participate in the fun for the three days but she didn't get spanked either. Dianna Annie's mother -- lying Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 They can in some districts. I watched a show just a few days ago that was kinda like school version of 'Cops' It was called The Principal or something like that. Anyway a few kids had done something wrong and they were given the option of the paddle or suspension... several picked the paddle. Now at this school they were given a choice, but it was the child's choice. When I went to school I got in trouble at school (grade school) and I don't even remember what it was for now, but I remember that my mom was given the choice of me being sent home and suspended for 3 days, or 3 spanks with the paddle. She choose the paddle... know why? Cause she had to work, so if I had to stay home for 3 days it meant she'd not have anyone to watch me... Anyway, I know that was a long time ago, and I don't think our school district allows for paddles anymore, but it's obvious that some schools do based on this TV show... Even if the spanking of typical children at school can be debated, I don't think that it would EVER be appropriate to allow for spanking (or even the suggestion) of a special needs child. This has me thinking I better give the School Board a call and find out for sure what the policy is here now. Theresa > > Schools can't legally spank our kids anymore, can they? At least, in > California I'm pretty sure they can't. I'm pretty sure they haven't been > able to do that for some years now. > > I'm glad you kept your daughter out of school for those three days. What a > jackass the principal is, IMO. > > Don > > The Whole Truth > Nothing But the Truth > So Help Me God... > > _____ > > From: Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com> > [mailto:Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com>] > On Behalf Of Dianna Caffee > Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 6:48 AM > To: Autism_in_Girls <Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.com> > Subject: Re: lying > > Debi > > Annie has tried lying to me and it had some bad results. I know that I don > t always know that what she is saying is the absolute truth but for the > most > part, she is truthful to me. > > She lied to me once while in grade school about her hitting another child > at > school. Seems when the truth finally came out, the other child had been > picking at Annie for a long time. On the way back from a field trip one day > the other child was sitting on the bus behind Annie kicking her seat and > pulling her hair and being a general pain to her. When they got off the bus > to go back in the sschool, Annie tapped the other child on the shoulder and > when she turned around to see what she wanted, Annie punched her square in > the nose. > > The principal said the only thing she could do was punish Annie because she > admitted to her that she had hit the child. Annie told me she got in > trouble but it was the other girl's fault. When the whole truth came out, I > refused to let the principal punish Annie. Their form of punishment for a > punch in the face was to spend three days in the office and to be spanked. > Now where is the logic in that? I took Annie out of school for the three > days she was to spend in the office (it was the end of school year). Those > three days were more like play days for the grade school anyhow. Annie didn > t get to participate in the fun for the three days but she didn't get > spanked either. > > Dianna > Annie's mother > > -- lying > > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! > > Debi > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Ya know how in RDI®, we are working up the developmental ladder of " intersubjectivity " , which is also called joint attention or theory of mind? In order to deliberately lie with intent to deceive, you have to be able to perspective take, to understand that the other person's mind is separate and distinct from yours, and you have to understand that the other person did not see you commit the act you weren't supposed to commit and that the other person (mom) may not be able to put the pieces together in her mind that you are not telling the truth. Lying (intent to deceive) involves a higher level of joint attention and perspective taking. Alyssa will sometimes blame a sibling, but more often, she blames " Mr Hand " when she makes a mess and I ask who did it. Penny > > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! > > Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Penny I to love of the Mr. Hand... that is of very creative attempt of to not tell of the full truth but partial truths. my first attempt I to think when of looking back and did of something similar was when i to be of kept still wetting my panties and not want of to be of get of the oud words or spank began of taking them off and throwing of them in the trash since the bathroom and kitchen of the small house were of connected and one could not see of the trash from the livingroom areas. Anyways for me did not understand she couldnot see of me but each day I to be fo wet of self would go to the kitchen and take off the panites and throw of them away. {This was of my dress stage too where I to refused anythings but dresses}so for me it was of easy to get of them off. I to stuggled getting of getting clean new ones back on though. anyways the story was of that I to kept of throwing of them into the trash and so when the mother of me asked one day where was my underpanties I to showed of her on my body, she shared no the other ones as she could not find of them and that there was of much underpanties missing then my brain understood which ones she was of sharing to me and I to had of memory of the trash and told of her now I to did not know .... because in my thinking this was of true since i to put them in the trash and the trash man camed and took of that bag from the corner of the house and such and so in reality I to did not know....so I to just shared they are of lost because in my mind they were lost since I to had no clue what that man did with them after they took of the bag. that was of the first real strong memory I to had of more advanced over all thinking and awreness of things outside of self. For me though was not with holding the truth , but not telling of her that the panites went to the trash man, because all my brain could understand was the man took them away and i to had of no clue where or why this man comes every week in our areas to take the bags in everyones front of the home. that man though did cause me to wonder often even before the panites things and simply did not have outward verbal langauge to match what i to understood with in me so could not asked of it to others of the whys and what this man wanted with such yucky things tied in a bag each week. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Oh Sondra, I had to laugh at the story of your tossing your panties. Not for a bad reason or anything, but you were good at that! I remember when my daughter (ADHD) started Lying (still does sometimes) and she has always been so bad at it that I almost felt I needed to teach her how to be more effective! LOL She would for instance not want what we were having for dinner and instead of trying the few bites required to get up from the table, she'd wait till no one was looking and hide them on the counter or just dumped into the sink... Where we would obviously see it and know she lied about eating the food. Or on the flip side, if she wanted a snack and had been told no, then she may sneak back to the laundry room (Where our deep freezer is) and hide to eat an ice cream sandwhich or something... but instead of making sure her mouth was clean and her wrapper thrown away in the garbage can, she'd leave it there on the floor or tucked behind/next to something where it would eventually be found. She definately can't keep her story straight either when it's something where a friend and her wants to do something and she wants it to seem like it was the friends idea. Hubby and I have always found it comical when she was so very obvious in her lying... Although we tried and tried to show her that it wasn't worth lying... she was pretty presistant in trying anyway. I read once that the only reason a child would keep lying was if they were sometimes getting away with it... So who knows what she was actually getting away with (if anything) that made her keep going. But now at 11, they are at least fewer and farther between... she is still sneaky with food though, and will lie to avoid getting caught. It can be very frustrating. Theresa > > Penny I to love of the Mr. Hand... that is of very creative attempt > of to not tell of the full truth but partial truths. my first attempt > I to think when of looking back and did of something similar was when > i to be of kept still wetting my panties and not want of to be of get > of the oud words or spank began of taking them off and throwing of > them in the trash since the bathroom and kitchen of the small house > were of connected and one could not see of the trash from the > livingroom areas. Anyways for me did not understand she couldnot see > of me but each day I to be fo wet of self would go to the kitchen and > take off the panites and throw of them away. {This was of my dress > stage too where I to refused anythings but dresses}so for me it was > of easy to get of them off. I to stuggled getting of getting clean > new ones back on though. anyways the story was of that I to kept of > throwing of them into the trash and so when the mother of me asked > one day where was my underpanties I to showed of her on my body, she > shared no the other ones as she could not find of them and that there > was of much underpanties missing then my brain understood which ones > she was of sharing to me and I to had of memory of the trash and told > of her now I to did not know .... because in my thinking this was of > true since i to put them in the trash and the trash man camed and > took of that bag from the corner of the house and such and so in > reality I to did not know....so I to just shared they are of lost > because in my mind they were lost since I to had no clue what that > man did with them after they took of the bag. that was of the first > real strong memory I to had of more advanced over all thinking and > awreness of things outside of self. For me though was not with > holding the truth , but not telling of her that the panites went to > the trash man, because all my brain could understand was the man took > them away and i to had of no clue where or why this man comes every > week in our areas to take the bags in everyones front of the home. > > that man though did cause me to wonder often even before the panites > things and simply did not have outward verbal langauge to match what > i to understood with in me so could not asked of it to others of the > whys and what this man wanted with such yucky things tied in a bag > each week. > > sondra > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Ha ! I've got one for you. When my daughter ate things she wasn't supposed to - she wouldn't think to simply wash the dishes and put them away - she would THROW the dishes away ! I couldn't figure out what was happening to my silverware and plates and then found one in the trash ! cynthia Oh Sondra, I had to laugh at the story of your tossing your panties. Not for a bad reason or anything, but you were good at that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 cynthia she must have been to have of the same mind set yucky things go to the trash.... so dirty dishes and things go there too LOL. But if I to have of a knowing of some things and find another person is of seeking to get those words out of me it causes me great anxiety because I to lack there intent of wanting those words. Espeically if one asked of me not to share of the words with another person, and so when another person is of seeking them or speaking words around the information I to build in great anxiety for fear of feeling as if I to be of lying because not disclosing all the words to a certain things. I to feel if I to disclose it is of lying to the one I to promised to keep of the words silent too, and then if I to not disclose to the one friend who is of seeking I to feel as if lying to them because not dsiclosing all the words I to know for their seeking. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Our ASD daughter will find where the gum or snacks are and will eat some of them without our knowing. She will later deny this, yet she's a dead giveaway, as she will go straight to the hiding spot with Mommy, and exclaim " Wow it's gone! My brother, he took it! " Of course she supposedly didn't know the spot to begin with, so we get a laugh out of the whole thing and try and find a better spot next time. Re: lying Ya know how in RDI®, we are working up the developmental ladder of " intersubjectivity " , which is also called joint attention or theory of mind? In order to deliberately lie with intent to deceive, you have to be able to perspective take, to understand that the other person's mind is separate and distinct from yours, and you have to understand that the other person did not see you commit the act you weren't supposed to commit and that the other person (mom) may not be able to put the pieces together in her mind that you are not telling the truth. Lying (intent to deceive) involves a higher level of joint attention and perspective taking. Alyssa will sometimes blame a sibling, but more often, she blames " Mr Hand " when she makes a mess and I ask who did it. Penny > > Do any of you really feel lying is a higher mental function? Just > wondering, Allie has been lying all week when she's done something > she's not supposed to. My poor Jess, she will ALWAYS say did > it. Interesting, she idolizes her big sister, so don't know why she's > blaming her. On the one hand it's sort of funny, on the other it's > quite irritating. My other kids have also found passing of the buck to > be fun. I understand the parents who used to line up all the kids in > the house & give 'me all a swat since no one would fess up! > > Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Mr Hand has been getting her in a bit of trouble lately! lol She IS quite creative, and I struggle to NOT laugh at her, sometimes! > > Penny I to love of the Mr. Hand... that is of very creative attempt > of to not tell of the full truth but partial truths. my first attempt > I to think when of looking back and did of something similar was when > i to be of kept still wetting my panties and not want of to be of get > of the oud words or spank began of taking them off and throwing of > them in the trash since the bathroom and kitchen of the small house > were of connected and one could not see of the trash from the > livingroom areas. Anyways for me did not understand she couldnot see > of me but each day I to be fo wet of self would go to the kitchen and > take off the panites and throw of them away. {This was of my dress > stage too where I to refused anythings but dresses}so for me it was > of easy to get of them off. I to stuggled getting of getting clean > new ones back on though. anyways the story was of that I to kept of > throwing of them into the trash and so when the mother of me asked > one day where was my underpanties I to showed of her on my body, she > shared no the other ones as she could not find of them and that there > was of much underpanties missing then my brain understood which ones > she was of sharing to me and I to had of memory of the trash and told > of her now I to did not know .... because in my thinking this was of > true since i to put them in the trash and the trash man camed and > took of that bag from the corner of the house and such and so in > reality I to did not know....so I to just shared they are of lost > because in my mind they were lost since I to had no clue what that > man did with them after they took of the bag. that was of the first > real strong memory I to had of more advanced over all thinking and > awreness of things outside of self. For me though was not with > holding the truth , but not telling of her that the panites went to > the trash man, because all my brain could understand was the man took > them away and i to had of no clue where or why this man comes every > week in our areas to take the bags in everyones front of the home. > > that man though did cause me to wonder often even before the panites > things and simply did not have outward verbal langauge to match what > i to understood with in me so could not asked of it to others of the > whys and what this man wanted with such yucky things tied in a bag > each week. > > sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 I don't think they do anywhere around here. But don't you love in Annie's case that the kids pulling her hair & such received NO kind of discipline, only the kid with autism? Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Debi I to not liked of that and cant understand why you to liked of that. it was of mean and cruel. and i to be of did what Annie did once when my son was not to ahve been good enough to earn a pizza party like hims peers in the class, so he was getting excluded and i to sended of him to school and showed up at the time of the party and bringed in mike a pizza and we ate it at the same time of hims peers as a protest. mike was of too little to understand of it completely but I was to not be of letting of my son be excluded because of hims lack to behave socially in a setting when he developmentally was not able to be to do things as hims peers with more mature social/emotional ages to regualte of themselves and he was of not able to do that so he should not be of punished for it. I to refused to let ANY teacher discipline of my kids in unfair ways. but if my child was in the wrong and the awareness developmentaly of its wrong i to allowed of the punishement. can you to clarify what you words are meaning because really not able to understand why you liked of it. In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " wrote: > > I don't think they do anywhere around here. But don't you love in > Annie's case that the kids pulling her hair & such received NO kind of > discipline, only the kid with autism? > > Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Sondra, Debi was just being sarcastic in response to the fact that only the autistic child was reprimanded. > > can you to clarify what you words are meaning because really not able > to understand why you liked of it. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 so Debi's sarcasim is to mean the opposite of her words? I to just not get it. I to felt that when one shares they like of something it means they liked of it. It is of one of the things that makes of language hard because often words do not mean what they say. this sort of language fashions get of me into trouble so much so. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Sondra, Well, it makes it a little easier to interpret people's words when you have the added benefit of facial expressions, tonal inflections, etc. It's hard for any of us to always accurately discern the meaning or intent of someone's words just from reading them. Sarcasm, plays on words, double entendres and the like, make comprehension a challenge for all of us. That's why it's always a good idea to ask for clarification (as you did) instead of simply making an assumption. You also know Debi from this list, and it would have been out of character for her to make a literal statement like that. I could almost see her eyes rolling as she said it...maybe even followed by a snort LOL > so Debi's sarcasim is to mean the opposite of her words? I to > just not get it. I to felt that when one shares they like of something > it means they liked of it. It is of one of the things that makes of > language hard because often words do not mean what they say. this sort > of language fashions get of me into trouble so much so. > sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 cathy thanks it did not occur to me of it being of sarcasim and yet never thinked too to associate of it to history of Debi. For me I to simply read of the words and interpret the words , word for word but do not always visualize a person behind of them. there are of some that I to be of able to do that when the mind is of clear. but usually it is of consistent reaction to things such as with Kassi and the cure word my brain has that engraved that if that word comes here it is of consistent that Kassi will react and or respond to that thinking or word much quickly in defense of her autism. I to be of a flip flop on my own thinking to cure for self. sometimes autism seems to be to get too big for me and so I to get angry and want of a cure and others times I to be of okay with self. I to think when I to build in frustrations and lack skills to problem solve it , it then turns to self rage and self frustrations and such and this makes of me wish were of not borned or was of someone else in this life. but I to have a harder time to always recal problem solving skills and to transfer of them to different situations or people and so in this I to not thinked right away of the history of Debi and so part of me was of just confused by why anyone would like to see of one bullied and punished for it. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 > I to be of a flip flop on my own thinking to cure for self. sometimes > autism seems to be to get too big for me and so I to get angry and > want of a cure and others times I to be of okay with self. Sondra, I think it's always a good idea to be ok with yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't also want some things to improve. I know I am always working on myself in many ways, but that doesn't mean I don't like myself or my life. We are all where we are right now, and we can always be reaching for more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Sorry, I should have clarified. Yes, I was being sarcastic. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Yes, you are right. The one who pulled the hair and such got no punishment at all. This is the kind of treatment that just makes my blood boil. The following year, we had a new principal. Not because of what happened with Annie though. Our kids have it hard enough without being treated in such a manner. Annie was being truthful when the principal asked her if she hit the girl. Annie told her yes. Based on that information alone, she was going to punish Annie. So much for honesty? Dianna -- Re: lying I don't think they do anywhere around here. But don't you love in Annie's case that the kids pulling her hair & such received NO kind of discipline, only the kid with autism? Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 my speaking events I to speak of this honesty. and how that this wonderful attribute that many with autism have that we are cruely punished for it because we do not have the ability to counter the truth with more information so we simply will share the yes or no parts because that is of telling the truth but often we do not have of more ability to express the whys of it.... or if the other person denies of it we cant find the words or even know how to begin to defend of our truths for self protections this has been of a great issues for me from people who try to be of or do become of a close friend like person. when they turn they put all the blame to me and I to have of no clue to what is of happening and why it is of happening because it seems to come with no warning. it leaves me forever trapped into that state of frustrations of not being of able to defend of my own being. Lying is of one of the hardest things for me to grasp from others. I to want to believe that all people are of being of honest in words and actions and it is of very confusing when others are of not speaking truthful words. It causes of me great internal distress and I to feel so frustrated and not understand but want of to correct of the words much so quickly and this causes of more issues. because people think I to be of want to fight or argue of things but this is of not so I to just want to fix the words that are of coming out wrong. I to been of no longer fix of the words I to just take the blame and such for it because I to learned I to not have of equal power to be of heard , expressed and or to compete with others in this life. many assume oh she has autism so she is of just confused and or things of this and this upsets of me. because yes I to get of upset and struggle to inferred meaning or take of things literal but I to know of what words often times others say almost word for word in some settings and so when a person denies to ever say that it makes of me feel so defeated and so i to sit in silence now over such things. But if one is of to do this to me I to be of them never can feel able to trust of them again. sondra sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2008 Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 The principal never asked Annie WHY she hit the girl?  --- Den tors 2008-10-09 skrev Dianna Caffee : Från: Dianna Caffee Ämne: Re: Re: lying Till: Autism_in_Girls Datum: torsdag 9 oktober 2008 05.50 Yes, you are right. The one who pulled the hair and such got no punishment at all. This is the kind of treatment that just makes my blood boil. The following year, we had a new principal. Not because of what happened with Annie though. Our kids have it hard enough without being treated in such a manner. Annie was being truthful when the principal asked her if she hit the girl. Annie told her yes. Based on that information alone, she was going to punish Annie. So much for honesty? Dianna -- Re: lying I don't think they do anywhere around here. But don't you love in Annie's case that the kids pulling her hair & such received NO kind of discipline, only the kid with autism? Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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