RE:Lawn care..thought this was cute

[Guest guest]

Subject: Fw: Lawn care....MO

Subject: Lawn care....MO

This is a little long but certainly is true. MO

> GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature.

> What in The

> world is

> going on down there in the USA? What happened to the

> Dandelions,

> violets,

> thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a Perfect,

> no-maintenance

> garden

> plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, Withstand

> drought and

> multiply

> with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting

> blossoms attracts

> butterflies, honey bees and flocks of Songbirds.

>

> I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But

> all I see are

> These

> green rectangles.

>

> ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.

> The

> Suburbanites.

> They started calling your flowers " weeds " and went to

> great lengths

> to kill

> them and replace them with grass.

>

> GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It

> doesn't attract

> butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.

> It's

> Temperamental

> with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want

> all that grass

> Growing

> there?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great

> pains to grow it

> and keep

> it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass

> and Poisoning

> any

> other plant that crops up in the lawn.

>

> GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make

> grass grow

> Really fast.

> That must make the Suburbanites happy.

>

> ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows

> a little, they

> cut

> it, sometimes twice a week.

>

> GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up

> and put it in

> bags.

>

> GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell

> it?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to

> throw it away.

>

> GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize

> grass so it will

> Grow.

> And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to

> throw it away?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

>

> GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

> when we cut

> back on

> the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the

> growth and Saves

> them a

> lot of work.

>

> ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord.

> When the grass

> stops

> growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more

> money to water it

> so they

> can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

>

> GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the

> trees. That was a

> sheer

> stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow

> leaves in The

> spring

> to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the

> autumn they fall to

> the

> ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in

> the soil and

> Protect

> the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves

> form compost to

> Enhance

> the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

>

> ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The

> Suburbanites have drawn

> a new

> circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them

> into great Piles

> and pay

> to have them hauled away.

>

> GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree

> roots in the

> Winter

> and to keep the soil moist and loose?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go

> out and buy

> Something

> which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it

> around in

> Place of

> the leaves.

>

> GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

>

> ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to

> make the Mulch.

>

> GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.

> St.

> , you're in charge of the arts. What movie

> have you

> scheduled for

> us Tonight?

>

> ST. CATHERINE: " Dumb and Dumber, " Lord. It's a real

> stupid movie

> about -

>

> GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

> from St. Francis.

[Guest guest]

,

If we pull all the weeds, I have no lawn. Lawns in FL are what y'all call

crab grass. Nothing that you want to run your feet thru. That was quite an

adjustment to make when I first blew into FL. What I have done is put the

pool in the backyard=very little lawn to cut

circular driveway=very little lawn to cut

sitting area with fountain=very little lawn to cut

post light/fire hydrant on property=less lawn to cut than previously imagined

palm tress outlined and filled in with wood chips=less lawn to cut.

Does anyone see a pattern here? Constantly looking at ways to turn more

grassy areas into mulch areas.

Well, back to garden planning...

Gentle, tender, angel hugs,

Debs in FL

[Guest guest]

Your post gave this suburban grass-hater a good laugh, Kathi! I am the black

sheep of the block since I rip out more and more grass every year and refuse

to use insecticides and herbicides on what remains. I wish they would ban

the cosmetic use of pesticides!

How did those baby orioles that you rescued do? Did you ever hear? I thought

of you as I watched a pair of house finches raise four offspring for a few

weeks on the top of the wreath on my front door. Needless to say, after they

were done, I needed a new wreath.

Lawn care....MO

>

> This is a little long but certainly is true. MO

>

> > GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature.

> > What in The

> > world is

> > going on down there in the USA? What happened to the

> > Dandelions,

> > violets,

> > thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a Perfect,

> > no-maintenance

> > garden

> > plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, Withstand

> > drought and

> > multiply

> > with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting

> > blossoms attracts

> > butterflies, honey bees and flocks of Songbirds.

> >

> > I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But

> > all I see are

> > These

> > green rectangles.

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.

> > The

> > Suburbanites.

> > They started calling your flowers " weeds " and went to

> > great lengths

> > to kill

> > them and replace them with grass.

> >

> > GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It

> > doesn't attract

> > butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.

> > It's

> > Temperamental

> > with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want

> > all that grass

> > Growing

> > there?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great

> > pains to grow it

> > and keep

> > it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass

> > and Poisoning

> > any

> > other plant that crops up in the lawn.

> >

> > GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make

> > grass grow

> > Really fast.

> > That must make the Suburbanites happy.

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows

> > a little, they

> > cut

> > it, sometimes twice a week.

> >

> > GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up

> > and put it in

> > bags.

> >

> > GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell

> > it?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to

> > throw it away.

> >

> > GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize

> > grass so it will

> > Grow.

> > And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to

> > throw it away?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

> >

> > GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

> > when we cut

> > back on

> > the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the

> > growth and Saves

> > them a

> > lot of work.

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord.

> > When the grass

> > stops

> > growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more

> > money to water it

> > so they

> > can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

> >

> > GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the

> > trees. That was a

> > sheer

> > stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow

> > leaves in The

> > spring

> > to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the

> > autumn they fall to

> > the

> > ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in

> > the soil and

> > Protect

> > the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves

> > form compost to

> > Enhance

> > the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The

> > Suburbanites have drawn

> > a new

> > circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them

> > into great Piles

> > and pay

> > to have them hauled away.

> >

> > GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree

> > roots in the

> > Winter

> > and to keep the soil moist and loose?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go

> > out and buy

> > Something

> > which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it

> > around in

> > Place of

> > the leaves.

> >

> > GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

> >

> > ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to

> > make the Mulch.

> >

> > GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.

> > St.

> > , you're in charge of the arts. What movie

> > have you

> > scheduled for

> > us Tonight?

> >

> > ST. CATHERINE: " Dumb and Dumber, " Lord. It's a real

> > stupid movie

> > about -

> >

> > GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

> > from St. Francis.

[Guest guest]

Debs,

Being a Floridian I am laughing my behind off! You're right about the

crabgrass and SO right about strategic gardening.

On a more serious note, I'm so sorry to hear you're still in such pain. I

say a special prayer for you and Tess every day, and hope you're feeling

better pronto. Keep you chin up, and enjoy the cabana boys!

Hugs,

Carol

Re: [ ] RE:Lawn care..thought this was cute

,

If we pull all the weeds, I have no lawn. Lawns in FL are what y'all call

crab grass. Nothing that you want to run your feet thru. That was quite an

adjustment to make when I first blew into FL. What I have done is put the

pool in the backyard=very little lawn to cut

circular driveway=very little lawn to cut

sitting area with fountain=very little lawn to cut

post light/fire hydrant on property=less lawn to cut than previously

imagined

palm tress outlined and filled in with wood chips=less lawn to cut.

Does anyone see a pattern here? Constantly looking at ways to turn more

grassy areas into mulch areas.

Well, back to garden planning...

Gentle, tender, angel hugs,

Debs in FL