Re: Anger Management (Too funny)

[Guest guest]

LOL!!! That was hilarious. I needed that, Stacey. I'm glad that you can still

laugh even though things are incredibly frustrating right now. And I hope you

will be in an upward trend very soon.

[ ] Anger Management (Too funny)

Hi All,

A friend sent this to me and I am still laughing. Hope it gives you a smile

too!

Stacey in PA

ANGER MANAGEMENT

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to

take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to

make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, " Hello? " I

politely said, " This is Jim Kingstrom, could I please speak with Robin

? " Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed the

last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to

call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, " You're an asshole! " and

hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put

it

in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd

call him up and yell, " You're an asshole! " It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling

would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, " Hi, this is

from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with

the caller ID program? " he yelled,

" NO! " and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said,

" That's because you're an asshole! "

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently

waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot

ignored

me.

I noticed a " For Sale " sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I

dialed and

someone said, " Hello? " I said, " Is this the man with the black BMW for sale? "

" Yes it is. " " Can you tell me where I can see it? " " Yes, I live at 1802 West

34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front. "

" What's your name? " I asked. " My name is Don Hansen, " he said.

" When's a good time to catch you, Don? " " I'm home every evening after five. "

" Listen, Don, can I tell you something? " " Yes? " " Don, you're an asshole! "

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several

months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came

up

with an idea: I called

Asshole #1. " Hello " " You're an asshole! " (but I didn't hang up.) " Are you

still there? " he asked. " Yeah, " I said. " Stop calling me, " he screamed " Make

me, " Isaid.

" Who are you? " he asked. " My name is Don Hansen. " " Yeah? Where do you live? "

" Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black

Beemer out front. "

He said, " I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying

your prayers. "

I said,

" Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole. "

Then I called asshole # 2: " Hello? " he said. " Hello Asshole, " I said.

He yelled, " If I ever find out who you are... " " You'll what? " I said. " I'll

kick your ass, " he exclaimed. I answered, " Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now. "

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West

34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two

assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a

police helicopter and a news crew.

Now, I feel better.

[Guest guest]

Stacey dont know how I missed the original post but

this is toooo funny....my family thought I was losing

it..I was laughing so hard the tears were running down

my face......thanks for the great laugh..

Tess.....If anyone deserves a pity party you do....

ready everyone 1..2..3..

The postings on the bruising and bleeding under the

skin...in the monograph of the methotrexate I read

where MTX can also cause this...it muat be so because

I look like I have been beaten...I am sure being a

klutz doesnt help.....a maybe you know more on

this..

Hope everyone else is keeping cool...here in OK it is

hot....of course Judy in AZ I know you are at 108....

hoping you all have a little less pain..Kathi in OK

--- <Matsumura_Clan@...> wrote:

> LOL!!! That was hilarious.

>

> [ ] Anger Management (Too funny)

>

> Hi All,

> A friend sent this to me and I am still laughing.

> Hope it gives you a smile

> too!

> Stacey in PA

>

> ANGER MANAGEMENT

>

> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad

> day, and you just need to

> take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone

> you know, take it out on

> someone you don't know.

> I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone

> call I had forgotten to

> make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man

> answered saying, " Hello? " I

> politely said, " This is Jim Kingstrom, could I

> please speak with Robin

> ? " Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.

> I couldn't believe that

> anyone could be so rude.

> I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called

> her. (I had transposed the

> last two digits of her phone number). After hanging

> up with her, I decided to

> call the 'wrong' number again.

> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled,

> " You're an asshole! " and

> hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word

> 'asshole' next to it, and put

> it

> in my desk drawer.

> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or

> had a really bad day, I'd

> call him up and yell, " You're an asshole! " It always

> cheered me up.

> When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my

> therapeutic 'asshole' calling

> would have to stop. So, I called his number and

> said, " Hi, this is

>

> from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see

> if you're familiar with

> the caller ID program? " he yelled,

> " NO! " and slammed the phone down. I quickly called

> him back and said,

> " That's because you're an asshole! "

> So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to

> pull into a parking spot.

> Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into

> the spot I had patiently

> waited for.

> I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting

> for the spot. The idiot

> ignored

> me.

> I noticed a " For Sale " sign in his car window, so I

> wrote down his number.

> A couple of days later, right after calling the

> first asshole (I had his

> number on speed dial), I thought I had better call

> the BMW asshole, too. I

> dialed and

> someone said, " Hello? " I said, " Is this the man with

> the black BMW for sale? "

> " Yes it is. " " Can you tell me where I can see it? "

> " Yes, I live at 1802 West

> 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's

> parked right out front. "

> " What's your name? " I asked. " My name is Don

> Hansen, " he said.

>

> " When's a good time to catch you, Don? " " I'm home

> every evening after five. "

> " Listen, Don, can I tell you something? " " Yes? "

> " Don, you're an asshole! "

> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed

> dial, too.

> Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to

> call. But after several

> months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it

> used to be. So, I came

> up

> with an idea: I called

> Asshole #1. " Hello " " You're an asshole! " (but I

> didn't hang up.) " Are you

> still there? " he asked. " Yeah, " I said. " Stop

> calling me, " he screamed " Make

> me, " Isaid.

> " Who are you? " he asked. " My name is Don Hansen. "

> " Yeah? Where do you live? "

> " Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow

> house with my black

> Beemer out front. "

> He said, " I'm coming over right now, Don. And you

> had better start saying

> your prayers. "

> I said,

> " Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole. "

> Then I called asshole # 2: " Hello? " he said. " Hello

> Asshole, " I said.

> He yelled, " If I ever find out who you are... "

> " You'll what? " I said. " I'll

> kick your ass, " he exclaimed. I answered, " Well,

> asshole, here's your chance.

> I'm coming over right now. "

> Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police,

> saying that I lived at

> 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over

> there to kill my gay lover.

> Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war

> going down on West

> 34th Street.

> I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th

> St. There, I saw two

> assholes beating the crap out of each other in front

> of 6 squad cars, a

> police helicopter and a news crew.

>

> Now, I feel better.

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

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