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Falling apart

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Hi All,

I haven't written in awhile, but I have been reading the posts. Lately, I

feel like my body is falling apart. My back surgery went well and I am

recovering from that. Two weeks ago I noticed that my feet and ankles were

swelling more than usual. It got progressively worse until I saw my pcp.

She put me on a water pill (HCTZ) and ordered and echocardiogram and labs.

No results on the labs yet, but I have noticed that since starting the HCTZ

the swelling has gone down, but I have almost completely stopped urinating.

The last couple of days, I have gone about 4-5 times a day and only a

trickle. I am worried that there is a problem with my kidneys seeing that I

have had kidney stones in the past. Not to mention that mentally, I am just

disgusted. I feel like as soon as I get one problem taken care of, then

something else malfunctions. I have not been able to start the prosorba

column treatments, due to a shortage of staff at the blood bank in our area.

They asked me to travel to Pittsburgh for the treatments, but I turned them

down. It would be at least one and a half to two hour drive (one way) and

then 3-4 hours for the treatment and then the ride home. I would have to

have someone drive for me and someone to watch over Wyatt. I explained that

this would be just too much for me to handle. So I am not on any DMARD at

this time and boy am I feeling it on some days. Today is one of those days.

Wyatt is at his aunt's house. He went for a birthday party yesterday and

spent the night. I just feel so worn down sometimes. Like my body is just

giving up on me. It's very disappointing. I'm afraid to plan ahead to do

things this summer because I don't know how I will feel when the time comes

and I am tired of being the center of attention due to my disease. I feel

like I am always sick and tired and just wish I could find some energy

somewhere. My family probably thinks that I am a hypochondriac who always

has to have something wrong. But I have always been a healthy person up

until about 2 years ago and I am not accustomed to being ill. I guess that I

had just better get used to it. When do you finally give in and accept that

you just can't do things?

Love and Hugs

Stacey in PA

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