housework

[Guest guest]

Diane, you are my kind of gal. I would always work extra shifts just to have

that cleaning lady, and have had for 43 yrs. Now my husband does the shopping

and cooking, so I have really worked way up. Not only that, but I retired

from nursing with this PA. I have a wonderful husband and we are both very

good to one another, and he knows standing around shopping is hard on me.

The funny thing is that the cleaning lady won't do so many things we end up

doing ourselves. Betty in VA

[Guest guest]

....as I've mentioned in a few previous posts, I really don't think that husbands

who don't pitch in and take over the housework are lazy or unsympathetic. Often

times it's just denial. They're life has changed too. They have a reason to be

mad and grief stricken...they didn't bargain for this interruption to their

marriage. I have learned to say, " honey, I know you are tired of picking up

after everyone and you're angry. But, please don't take it out on me. I really

am trying to do the best I can and sometimes it's just not very much. " We BOTH

have to remember that the fact that I have pa affects our life and not to take

it out on each other.

Last year we bought a VOW camper to go camping with our two boys. I LOVE to do

this kind of vacationing but was VERY uncertain how I would hold up. The first

thing he did was find an air mattress for the very hard bed and a pump that will

pump it up or down in 2 minutes. It is very comfortable. Then we discussed all

the " chores " associated with these trips and agreed on what would NOT be hard

for me and what would. Anything that would tax me too much (like fixing

breakfast on a cold morning), he and the boys do. We have had three weekend

trips and are having a great time!

in VA

[Guest guest]

" They have a reason to be mad and grief stricken...they didn't bargain for

this interruption to their marriage. "

- I agree somewhat; however, what happened to " for better or worse, in

sickness and in health " ?

I know I took those words seriously when I made that promise and so did my

husband. Just because his mother or society told him that women do most of the

housework doesn't mean it applies in our marriage.

(by the way, my husband and I split the housework with no gripes from either of

us - but when I'm having a bad day, he is more than willing to pick up my share

too.)

[Guest guest]

,

I agree about " for better or for worse " ...I was just suggesting that unexpressed

anger can cause people to act irrationally and unfairly. If he can express his

anger (constructively) he may be able to get to the point where he " sees " that

your situation isn't fair or traditional and he needs to accommodate that " for

better or for worse " . Good Luck,

in VA

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/10/02 7:08:46 AM Central Daylight Time, OceanLBI@...

writes:

> Suzanne and Deb,

> I am glad that you were able to use this site. I

> have found that even on the days I feel really lousy, I can accomplish some

>

> work that I normally wouldn't have done. All in 10 or 15 minute time frames

>

> that seem about long enough for me to get some things done and then take a

> rest. It is amazing how good it seems to just have my sink clean when I get

>

> up and my bed made in the morning!! It's the little things that make me

> happy. <G> I am finally starting to get rid of some clutter and hopefully

> when I finish the whole process of keeping on top of my housework will be a

>

> whole lot easier for me. You know on those days when you are feeling lousy

> and have to see a really messy house to boot, get me really depressed. I

> hope

> that everyone will have a good week that is painfree.

> Barb

>

>

Hello Everyone, HOUSEWORK! I try to make my bed everyday, even if I know

I'll be crawling right back into it! If I'm having a really terrible day,

that may be the only thing I get done. I also try to warn my husband early

in the day if possible that the housework is NOT GOING TO BE DONE. Most of

the time, letting him know works well. This at least gives him some idea of

what to expect before he comes in from work. He works twelve hour days

landscaping, so he's usually exhausted when he comes home. He is fairly

supportive, but there are days when he nags - I let it go and once he settles

down, he realizes that some things are just the way they are and he gets over

it. I have a really great twelve year old daughter that does some of the

chores (dishes, her bathroom, animal care, etc....). I still do the kitchen

floor, most of the laundry, general straightening. I have a very painful

right hip, so I can't always bend down to pick things up or move anything

heavy. I would love for my house to be spotless, but at this stage of things

- it's not gonna happen! A very good friend and her daughter were in for a

visit from Thursday to Sunday. Our spare bedroom was a complete disaster.

The friend asked my permission to rearrange (a very polite way of asking)

furniture in that room. I told her she could do whatever she wanted and she

completely cleaned and " fixed up " the room. She and my husband also made

sure that we either brought in take out or went out to eat the whole time, so

there were no huge piles of dishes or cooking to be done! If someone offers

the help, don't be shy, take it. Anyway, I hope this finds you all having a

good day,

Alice in Texas

[Guest guest]

Barb,

So far, I've only managed the clean sink step. It *is* nice to have a clean

sink. It amazes me to realize how much effort it takes just to accomplish so

little! Once upon a time.... Well, we build on the little successes.

I need to work on hot spots. Probably not til this weekend.

I do like the little reminders. Makes this fun!

Suzanne

[ ] housework

> Suzanne and Deb,

> I am glad that you were able to use this site. I

> have found that even on the days I feel really lousy, I can accomplish

some

> work that I normally wouldn't have done. All in 10 or 15 minute time

frames

> that seem about long enough for me to get some things done and then take a

> rest. It is amazing how good it seems to just have my sink clean when I

get

> up and my bed made in the morning!! It's the little things that make me

> happy. <G> I am finally starting to get rid of some clutter and hopefully

> when I finish the whole process of keeping on top of my housework will be

a

> whole lot easier for me. You know on those days when you are feeling lousy

> and have to see a really messy house to boot, get me really depressed. I

hope

> that everyone will have a good week that is painfree.

> Barb

[Guest guest]

i over did it today. i washed the walls in the bathroom, and cleaned the

furnace filters. this is hours after i called and cancelled my counseling

appt, because i was sore and couldn't move. also hours after i called my foot

dr to try and get in sooner cause my foot hurt and my toes had pins and

needle feelings. so now tomorrow i go to legal aid 9:45 and if i get out in

time to the foot dr. 11am. thank goodness they are close. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

I can relate...I had a good day today too compared to yesterday. I vacuumed

the floors, Mopped the kitchen floor, dusted everything with my " miracle Cloth " ,

changed the bed linens...and still feel energetic. Isn't it strange how one day

you can feel so rotten and the next you feel energetic?

I take advantage of these good days and do what I can do. If only I could stay

like this.

Louise...and all the rest of the group.....I hope you can get some peaceful,

pain-free slumber tonight.

Gail ( in AL )

Re: [ ] housework

i over did it today. i washed the walls in the bathroom, and cleaned the

furnace filters. this is hours after i called and cancelled my counseling

appt, because i was sore and couldn't move. also hours after i called my foot

dr to try and get in sooner cause my foot hurt and my toes had pins and

needle feelings. so now tomorrow i go to legal aid 9:45 and if i get out in

time to the foot dr. 11am. thank goodness they are close. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Barb,

Thanks so much for this site. It is really helping! I like the fact that they

tell you it will take a year to get your house in perfect order. As slow as I

am, and as bad as some of my hot spots are, it will be more like 2 years! But

I'm taking the baby steps they instruct us to take and I'm seeing a difference

already. It really is amazing what can be accomplished in 15 minute spurts!

hugs,

a

[Guest guest]

a and Barb,

I've been a FLYbaby for about 2 weeks now. I've managed to keep my sink

clean, counters clean (although still cluttered) downstairs bathroom clean

and laundry caught up. So far that's all, but I'm pleased!

Suzanne

Re: [ ] housework

> Barb,

> Thanks so much for this site. It is really helping! I like the fact that

they tell you it will take a year to get your house in perfect order. As

slow as I am, and as bad as some of my hot spots are, it will be more like 2

years! But I'm taking the baby steps they instruct us to take and I'm

seeing a difference already. It really is amazing what can be accomplished

in 15 minute spurts!

> hugs,

> a

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

i went to legal aid today. they took copies of my letters and benefits book.

they said they would have a meeting on it next week and get back to me. then

i went to the foot dr. he gave me my 3rd inection today and sent me back to

therapy. he said if this doesn't work he'll open me again and get rid of

that piece of nerve. yippy!~! limpy in il

[Guest guest]

can you repost this site again. you've all got me curious. i'm sure i can use

it too. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

> Kathy,

> I hope legal aid can help you. Hope the injection gives you some relief.

> More surgery doesn¹t sound to thrilling.

> a

>

>

>

> i went to legal aid today. they took copies of my letters and benefits book.

> they said they would have a meeting on it next week and get back to me. then

> i went to the foot dr. he gave me my 3rd inection today and sent me back to

> therapy. he said if this doesn't work he'll open me again and get rid of

> that piece of nerve. yippy!~! limpy in il

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Great Suzanne! I¹ve had a shiny sink for a whole week! They are right,

> clutter attracts clutter. No one wants to put dirty dishes in my clean sink,

> so they actually use the dishwasher instead of piling everything in the sink.

> So far I¹m managing to keep my sink clean, laundry caught up, and some hot

> spots cleaned out. Boy do I have a lot of hot spots! I need a fire truck

> LOL!

>

> I like that everything is done in 15 minute increments, and they also remind

> us to drink water and exercise!

> That program is made for us.

> Hope you have a painfree weekend.

> a

>

>

> a and Barb,

>

> I've been a FLYbaby for about 2 weeks now. I've managed to keep my sink

> clean, counters clean (although still cluttered) downstairs bathroom clean

> and laundry caught up. So far that's all, but I'm pleased!

>

> Suzanne

[Guest guest]

> Barb,

> When you get it all together, you¹ll deserve the cabana boy treatment to

> reward you for all your hard work. Until you are ready for them, we¹ll let

> Debs hang onto them until she feels better. Someone has to keep an eye on her

> to make sure she is resting that knee!

> Hope your weekend is painfree.

> a

>

>

>

> a,

> I am glad to hear that this site has been working for you too. I have

> seen some changes here too and you know it's those little things like having

> a clean sink or a mess free island in the kitchen that makes sme pretty

> happy. Boy how little it takes to excite me anymore :0) Hopefully in a few

> years I can get myself in order too. maybe then I'll have those cabana boys

> over to get me a tropical drink and fan me with those palm fronds!! Have a

> good weekend. Barb

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone.

I am so glad that the flylady.net site is working for so many

of us. I have been doing this for just a few weeks but I can see positive

changes here already. I do like the daily reminders to keep me on track and I

love when they post the testimonials too. I have too many hotspots to count<G>

but hopefully I will eventually make my way through the whole house and at

least try and tame them somewhat.

I also wanted to say hi to the new members and hope that all is well with

everyone and that you have a painfree week. Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb,

I liked the fact that it took our FLYlady 9 months to declutter her house. I

don't feel stressed about my baby steps. I've got the kitchen and downstairs

bathroom under control. Feels good.

Suzanne

[ ] housework

> Hi everyone.

> I am so glad that the flylady.net site is working for so

many

> of us. I have been doing this for just a few weeks but I can see positive

> changes here already. I do like the daily reminders to keep me on track

and I

> love when they post the testimonials too. I have too many hotspots to

count<G>

> but hopefully I will eventually make my way through the whole house and

at

> least try and tame them somewhat.

> I also wanted to say hi to the new members and hope that all is well with

> everyone and that you have a painfree week. Barb

>

>

>