Re: ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

[Guest guest]

ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just spent the

last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being outside.

so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with their

families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my son,

but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you just

never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of it at

42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

thanks sam, i know i woke up today with alot of pain and stiffness. then i

didn't take my meds because we were going out and i didn't want to feel

nauseated, we were going for early lunch. that made it much worse. we met my

mother in law half way due to the heat and she has been running like mad this

week. one of her friends had 3 tumors remoed from the brain and 2 others are

in the nursing home. other than a headache from crying and burning eyes i

feel a little better now. thanks for listening. my other friend is moving

this weekend so i know not to bother her. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

I have about 5 weeks left of my pregnancy, which does not work well with this

Texas heat. I can't go outside because I get overheated and nauseous. It

kills me to see my husband and daughter go outside and play and know that I

can't go with them, the only thing that helps with that is knowing that on

another day I'll be able to go. Feel lucky that you could share a lunch with

your son. I'd love to see my mom make an effort like that. The last time I

went out with my mother was over 2 years ago.

In a message dated 6/30/02 1:43:36 PM Central Daylight Time,

kringlemom@... writes:

> ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just spent the

>

> last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being

> outside.

> so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with their

>

> families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my son,

>

> but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you just

> never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of it

> at

> 42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

hi kathy...maybe it is just one of those days where you need to fall

apart....personally i have those days...but we always get up the next

morning...somehow i find i dont know ANYONE who is not struggling hard in

one way or another...

i have found other things to do with my time now that so much is gone and i

am quite content in life...i think it is accepting our limitations....and

enjoying the little things..

today the wind was blowing through the leaves and i sat outside..first time

outside in weeks coz of the heat and mosquitoes...it is the little

things...a precious moment...i hope you are able to find one...

hugs

Sam

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just spent

the

> last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being

outside.

> so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with

their

> families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my

son,

> but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you just

> never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of it

at

> 42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry, Kathy! This heat is enough to do anyone in. Around here, even the

animals outside are just barely moving. Add in all of your other

problems, and I can understand why you are feeling down.

I don't think you are out of it - these have been some very particularly

hard, unsettled times for you. But I believe things can get better.

You've got many more years ahead to try to find happiness and better

health. Don't give up!

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just

spent the

> last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being

outside.

> so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with

their

> families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my

son,

> but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you

just

> never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of

it at

> 42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Dear Kathy...many hugs from me to you, dear Kathy. Yesterday I did what

you...out of the blue I just started sobbing and felt so lonesome...my

daughter went to work and I looked around my apartment, and felt like an

abandoned, lonely old gramma...where did my life go??? I guess it was

like someone said - some days you just have to let it out. I hope you

are feeling better today..please know you are loved very much & cared

about.

Hugs & Hope, Always...

Tess

[Guest guest]

it is understandable...sometimes the toll just adds up and the gates have to

open...it did for me on friday...and ..well...they are tough days..and

navigating the meds is also troubling too...

i did join some other for getting back to doing graphics coz i

dont have anyone other than my husband..and that keeps my mind occupied on

pretty colours and so many others struggling with ordeals...i somehow dont

remember growing up hearing about so many people being ill with such strange

maladies...

i told my husband ...i am glad i am in it with him coz it is a hard diseases

to say..well gee my wrists hurt or my elbows or whatever joints....until you

have walked in those shoes...sometimes orthotic shoes also..

it does take its toll..but tomorrow is another day..

this group is invaluable to all of us...

i hope you enjoyed your lunch ..it sounds good...yummie..

i am sorry about your friends...so much suffering..

are you looking forward to july 4th...tomorrow is canada here..

we have each other in the group...and for that i am grateful also..

hugs

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> thanks sam, i know i woke up today with alot of pain and stiffness. then i

> didn't take my meds because we were going out and i didn't want to feel

> nauseated, we were going for early lunch. that made it much worse. we met

my

> mother in law half way due to the heat and she has been running like mad

this

> week. one of her friends had 3 tumors remoed from the brain and 2 others

are

> in the nursing home. other than a headache from crying and burning eyes i

> feel a little better now. thanks for listening. my other friend is moving

> this weekend so i know not to bother her. kathy in il

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

I¹m sorry you¹re feeling so blue. I¹d say there would be something wrong

with you if you didn¹t get blue from time to time. You have so much going

on and things just keep building up. It¹s inevitable that you will crash.

But now you¹ve had a good cry, with lots of kicking and screaming about how

unfair life can be, it¹s time you pick yourself back up....wipe away the

tears......and get that fighting spirit back.

You are young, and have a lot to look forward to. With everything piling

up on you, I know it¹s hard to look positively to the future. This weather

makes it downright miserable outside. When it cools down, you¹ll be able

to go out without suffocating in the humidity. Do you have any hobbies?

Maybe a good book to help you escape from all your problems? Hope you feel

better soon.

Hugs,

a

> ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just spent the

> last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being outside.

> so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with their

> families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my son,

> but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you just

> never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of it at

> 42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks amanda. i wash just having a self pity party. today we are under

another heat warning with heat indeces 105-108. so i'll be inside again,

except for when i go to the pool . another thing i wonder if i should be

doing. but.....kathy in il

[Guest guest]

thanks tess. i had a friend stop by last night and even though he was a

little drunk it was probably a good thing he stopped by. he tried to give me

a loan, but i just couldn't take it not knowing when and if i could pay him

back. alot of my being alone is my own twisted doing. i am just not sure how

much comes from where. today is going to be another hot one. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

thanks gina. i think i kept thinking i would be getting my check from my

company and i'd run away, then i'd feel better. (wrong, i tried that before

and ended up sitting in a hotel room, thats when i figured out i come with me

whereever i go. the dr is saying my last chance drugs were last year. now

just try and keep me comfortable. then my friend called and said her mom was

trying chemo and she has 18 mos to live. i was kinda wishing i only had 18

more months to suffer. (not really) but you know what i mean. i know there

are many other who suffer much worse than me.i guess it was just time to

release. thanks for listening. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

i haven't done anything on the 4th of july for about 3 years. something with

the position of the sun or something i swear!!!! i feel so wierd this time of

the year. kathy in il happy canada day

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/1/02 12:15:30 AM Central Daylight Time,

paula54@... writes:

> . Do you have any hobbies?

> Maybe a good book to help you escape from all your problems? Hope you feel

> better soon.

>

i haven't found any hobbies. i love to read but it hurts my neck and arms. my

parents will be here next weekend and they will run me absolutly ragged.

kathy in il

[Guest guest]

(((((((Dearest Kathy))))))))

I'm so sad to hear about your case of the blues. I totally relate to what

you're saying. I went out in the sun last Friday and had a terrible flare.

My stepsons are coming here this week for the fourth of July and I'm going

to stay home for some of the activities, too. They want to go to fair

(during the day), and I just think it's too much for me to handle. It does

make you feel like life's passing you by.

I wish there was some way to take away your pain, or some words I could

offer to make it easier. I wish there was a good solution, but I guess the

only solution is to find activities within our abilities to share with our

loved ones.

Just know you're not alone.

Love,

Carol

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

ok, i need help!! (as usual) what is wrong with me?!?! i have just spent the

last 1/2 hour sobbing. it is so hot and humid. i can't handle being outside.

so i sit here and watch life go on outside. friends are all busy with their

families enjoying summer picnics, parties. i went out to lunch with my son,

but he just left and i want him to go on with his life, because you just

never know how long you have. i know i didn't expect to be this out of it at

42. but as soon as he left, i fell apart. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

hi

i find it hard to believe you dont have any hobbies..why even sitting in a

special chair at a special time of day drinking a special tea and just

pondering life...or writing in a journal a thought while drinking a tea from

a special cup....

there must be something....pressing a pretty flower petal into a book...and

watching it dry...

is there nothing that makes you feel special??

sincerely

sam

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> In a message dated 7/1/02 12:15:30 AM Central Daylight Time,

> paula54@... writes:

>

>

> > . Do you have any hobbies?

> > Maybe a good book to help you escape from all your problems? Hope you

feel

> > better soon.

> >

>

> i haven't found any hobbies. i love to read but it hurts my neck and arms.

my

> parents will be here next weekend and they will run me absolutly ragged.

> kathy in il

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know about those feelings about running away, Kathy! Long ago, I saw

an Oprah regarding runaway moms. I used to tease my ex and the kids that

I was next. But I have a friend whose advice was always: " Don't run from

something, run toward something. " I think it's the better approach.

Figure out what you want and then go for it, even if it's just one small

thing at a time.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mother.

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> thanks gina. i think i kept thinking i would be getting my check from

my

> company and i'd run away, then i'd feel better. (wrong, i tried that

before

> and ended up sitting in a hotel room, thats when i figured out i come

with me

> whereever i go. the dr is saying my last chance drugs were last year.

now

> just try and keep me comfortable. then my friend called and said her

mom was

> trying chemo and she has 18 mos to live. i was kinda wishing i only

had 18

> more months to suffer. (not really) but you know what i mean. i know

there

> are many other who suffer much worse than me.i guess it was just time

to

> release. thanks for listening. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

thanks carol i knew i wasn't alone and that is why i reached out to you guys.

i am afraid to let my family know how bad it really was. i hope you have a

nice holiday with your stepsons. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

i have my dog, she brings me pleasure even though we don't walk like we used

to. i am not good at making any plans because every afternoon i run a low

grade fever. i pretty much do housework, walk the dog and watch tv, go

through the papers and find recipe's and stuff to do. then i tell people

what's going on around town. i used to do some baking out of boredom, but

then you had to eat it. and with little pay since march that has kinda

faded.also reading sometimes brings me pain so i don't do that as much as i

used to either. i go to the dr's and maybe the store. my friends stop by

alot during the week, but the weekends are pretty long as they do things with

their family. i have't been to a movie theatre in about 6 years. everything

else i would say has been 3-4 years. i used to love this time. the festivals

and free concerts. the farmers market. the beach. long drives. i play

solitare and we all know e-mail takes alot of time too!!!! kathy in il

[Guest guest]

thanks gina, my life isn't settled yet with the disability claim. i can't

really figure out what i can do until then. i'd really like to try miniture

golf again. or go to the zoo, a lazy river....indiana beach, wisconsin dells.

something fun!!! kathy in il

[Guest guest]

hi there...to me your life sounds rather peaceful...

pleasant and calm....often i wonder about the people hurrying and scurrying

and i often wonder to where.....your life sounds like mine and i kinda like

mine...i walk my dog..not as far as i used to..she has arthritis too so i

figure God sent her to us as she is the same as we are...i love to hunt for

recipes online and then try cooking them on the weekend...

weekends have a flavour of lonliness...i know i hear the complaint over and

over again..

i think of the people hurrying and scurrying to pack up their cars to get to

their cottage to mow their lawns and unload the car...get the place

straightened out come home unpack and mow their lawns....to swim in lakes

and waters that are so unsafe..

guess i am a bit pessimistic about things...but i find beauty in my

home...it is my place of peace...and i sometimes think life is about finding

about peace...weekends i do special things...i reward myself for having made

it through the week...and a reward is simple to me...a breeze without

mosquitoes takes on a whole new flavour... a bath with extra

bubbles...simple things....

i know we lose things...i guess is what i am saying....but we can also gain

things....i often ask myself what God is trying to teach me in this

disease...have not found the answer yet...but a place of peace is where i am

leaning with the fast paced style not keeping in tune with my slow paced

attitude...to me they are out of kilter....hahha...there will always be

things we miss...but even my daughter as she goes into her 30's has things

she misses...it to me is part of the equation of life and is called

remembering....no matter the age we are or the day of the week..

i guess i am trying to say your life sounds peaceful, but that the weekends

are a bit of a bummer for you...for that i am sorry and truly hope you can

find something that sets your soul to feeling good..

hugs

sam

Re: [ ] ain't no cure for the summertime blues?

> i have my dog, she brings me pleasure even though we don't walk like we

used

> to. i am not good at making any plans because every afternoon i run a low

> grade fever. i pretty much do housework, walk the dog and watch tv, go

> through the papers and find recipe's and stuff to do. then i tell people

> what's going on around town. i used to do some baking out of boredom, but

> then you had to eat it. and with little pay since march that has kinda

> faded.also reading sometimes brings me pain so i don't do that as much as

i

> used to either. i go to the dr's and maybe the store. my friends stop by

> alot during the week, but the weekends are pretty long as they do things

with

> their family. i have't been to a movie theatre in about 6 years.

everything

> else i would say has been 3-4 years. i used to love this time. the

festivals

> and free concerts. the farmers market. the beach. long drives. i play

> solitare and we all know e-mail takes alot of time too!!!! kathy in il

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks sam it is very peaceful, for that i am greatful. wish i would've

listened years ago when the dr kept telling me to get the stress out of my

life. i told my son that while my mom is up it is time to go to a craft show

and find a hobby. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

I'm feeling the same way. I planned to do some light yard work today, but it

just didn't work the way I planned. I realized that I needed gas for the

riding mower. By the time I got to the bank and then got the gas and headed

home, I realized that my arm was burning from the sun coming through the

window. I still thought I might be able to get away with doing something.

NOT!!!! It is 85 degrees and starting to get hazy already. My son is at my

father's house swimming. I would love to be there also, but, again, the sun.

So I am in the house writing this message. Not very productive. Oh yea,

there are things that I can do in the house, but who wants to. And they

wonder why I get depressed. I never imagined that my body would be this way

at 35. It is so frustrating, but what can I do but learn to live with it. I

don't know what I would do without my computer. Cheer up !!!!! You are not

alone.

Love and Hugs

Stacey in PA

[Guest guest]

that's true, i love the computer and all of you!!!! i just put a call into

my rheumi, i figured i should let them know i cancelled my 3rd visit to

therapy. once more than last time!!!! i will try again next time too. kathy

in il

[Guest guest]

Kathi,

Do you need another cabana boy sent to you????? Hmmmmm????? Remember, they

are to be used for only VERY special times. So let me know if you think you

need a booster dose of cabana boys. Tess can attest to their medicinal

value! LOL!

Hang in there, sweetie, we are all here for you. Celebrate America's

Birthday in a big way! Sending hamburgers, hot dogs and fireworks your way!

Gentle, tender, patriotic angel hugs,

Debs in FL

[Guest guest]

i haven't been abusing him deb!!!! thanks for the grub. have a happy 4th.

kathy in il