Who Do You Think You Are?????

[Guest guest]

Have you ever heard or experienced this:

Why are you still online? Don't you have anything better to do? Who

are all these people you keep talking to? Everytime I see you your

online talking to all these different people...why don't you get out

and do something? Go somewhere, get a job, get a better job, mow the

yard, watch some tv, go visit someone, get a life, do what the rest

of us do here in the real world...

You live in a fantasy world...these people don't know you...don't

care about you...wouldn't be there in real life. Who are you kidding

to be wasting your time online?

What about money, and bills and commitments? Why don't you eat

something? Take a bath....when was the last time you slept?

Meditation? What a crock, your just checking out...living in a dream

world....get with it...what a loser...who the hell do you think you

are?

Who is that girl or girls writing you like that, who are those guys?

They are taking up all your time, what about me, us, mine?

What business is it of theirs, your whole lfe story? I'm jealous of

that online relationship, it just seems too close.

Why don't you wake up....who are you to ave the world?

And is your response maybe....

[silence]

Your thoughts may be something of...

Well, I wrote something and people responded in an unexpected way. I

posted something and in some strange way it's exactly what at least

one of them needed to see/hear. I answered a email with a question

from someone who thought that maybe I could help. I saved a life. I

sent healing energy and love to another. I laughed with one, cried

heavily with another. I spent my time and energy with two more which

completely drained me, but somehow left me whole.

Someone took the gun out of their mouth. Another climbed down off the

bridge. One learned how to meditate...and another saw for the first

time their own child for the true essense of spirit before them.

One questioned my knowing...one wanted to know much more...one

expressed her attraction...one demanded answers for which I had none.

I review dozens of emails, none of which I could reply to right

away...they required so much deeper thought than any simple reply

could endure.

I had one announcing the death of a good frend and spent hours in

deep incredible tears, most didn't show on the outside...my sturdy

rusted armour performing well.

I read about the state of the world...I became angry and powered up

my sword, striking the earth with my staff, lightening bolts blasting

across the skies. Yelling at the top of my lungs...I

yelled " ENOUGH " !!!

I sat in silence and stared at the screens, all these pleding for

help...feeling sometimes so helpless, but the voice within demanding

I do more.

I yell, " just show me the perfect truth of it all and I'll stand on

the four winds and see it done fully, but you leave me to figure it

out own my own. So, I keep on...I somehow keep on...

Ten lifetimes pass for each moment I am present, so many lives I'm

affecting, so many giving me strength to carry thru.

I sit in meditation and receive so many answers and words, but when I

sit down to write them, I stumble to remember the context that I have

now come to understand is not for me to do. Whatever comes out of

what I send, is not about the words, which came out of a higher

collective, but a keyworded flow, that when read plugs in those it's

for. Thus receiving the whole message in full.

I sometimes try to just let go, after all what can I do...wouldn't I

feel so much better, partying, drinking and indulging so much else.

But I can not outrun this tugging....this power deep within...that I

have no choice in this matter, because somehow I decided in some

other place and time to make it so.

[silence]

You say---

I'm sorry honey, your right, I do need to mow the yard...I need to

eat. I need to be human and go to the store...

.....just let me post this real quick!!!!