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Re: Support--Debs in FL

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Hello Debbie,

The wonderful world of seizures and cp have been

keeping me away from here. I am now just starting to

read weeks of messages.

I have no idea why you and your husband are not

talking nor is it the issue to me. Very few people

know the anger I had while divorcing my ex (the

divorce atty) knowing it all. I was told one day to

just stop it get along and do what it right for our

child. You will never know how happy I am we did.

Point is right now your husband needs to place it all

aside (talking later, hiding things inside is not

health either) and help his mother. At 14 my mom end

up in the hospital again, I was going to see her in a

day or two. My father and my sister went, spending

time with her and while with her she did die. I

kicked myself in the (you know) for 20 years not

seeing her. An awful life believe me. But I also

think things occur in life to make us stronger and may

be someday help other person. And two awful things to

help you with a spouse not talking and an ill mother.

Any of this make sense, or am I still out of it as

well. And hey how do you tell him to place that anger

aside and think of her, if he won't talk to you.

I do hope I am not confusing you, thanks for letting

me add this, love and prayers always, Sheri

--- Auntblabbie2000@... wrote:

> Louise,

>

> Your support and everyone else's support means more

> than I could ever put

> into words. This board is truly a safe place. No

> one judges you, they will

> listen even when you are in the deep throws of pity

> or depression. We also

> have extremely knowledgeable people on this board.

> It is truly a Godsend.

> It is the old story, you pick your friends, but you

> are stuck with your

> relatives. As for me and my husband, we are still

> not speaking. I told him

> last night and again this am, that we are eventually

> going to have to talk

> this whole thing out and he said that there was

> nothing to talk about. So I

> guess not much will change. My daughters see how

> Dad is, so they of course,

> are not going to act too much different. Vicious

> cycle. Sometimes, you just

> get tired of fighting the disease, family,

> physicians and bureaucracy. I

> even think that if I get turned down for SS again, I

> will just go back to

> work until they carry me out feet first.

>

> We got a call two weeks ago that his 86 year old Mom

> was dying of cancer. I

> thought he should go home to see her one last time

> as he has not seen his

> folks in a year. Well, he has made no plans and I

> don't think he is even

> thinking of going to see her. I am afraid that he

> is going to miss her and

> he will have to live with that. All I can do is

> offer.

> But now, however, it appears as though she is going

> to beat the cancer at age

> 86. She has been living with breast cancer for 24

> years. There are days

> when I am sure these people are going to dance on my

> grave! They were old

> when I met Ron and they are really old now! My

> folks passed away 7 years ago.

> So if this is how he feels and treats his own Mom, I

> guess there is not much

> hope for me.

>

> Hope you are having a somewhat pain free day. We

> are still going thru the

> remnants of a non-tropical depression. So, we have

> rain and clouds all day.

> Hopefully, the sun will peek out tomorrow and give

> all of us a bit of a lift!

>

> Thanks again for all your wonderful support, my dear

> friend.

>

> Gentle, tender, angel hugs,

>

> Debs in FL

>

__________________________________________________

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Hi Sheri,

I am so sorry that you lost your Mom at such an early age. I feel a woman

never gets over the loss of a mother. My Mom passed away 7 years ago next

month and I still pick up the phone to call her and tell her things that

happened.

As for my family support...well, what can I say. They are who they are and I

certainly can't change my husband at this point in his life. This was how he

was brought up. HOWEVER, my girls will not be brought up in this same

manner, that is for sure.

Hope that you are feeling better and have a pain free evening.

Debs in FL

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