RE: Gotta kick out of this...

[Guest guest]

April 10th:

Just moved to Houston...Now this is a city that knows how

to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!

Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was

beautiful.

I've finally found my home. I love it here.

May 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in

an

air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a

pleasure

to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun

worshipper.

May 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots

of

cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more lawn

mowing

for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

June 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do

people get

used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy

though. But getting

used to all this heat and humidity is taking longer that I

expected.

June 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. ( Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of

my body. )

Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned

my lesson

though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

June 20th:

I missed ( our cat ) sneaking into the car when I

left this morning.

By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, had died

and swollen

up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000

leather upholstery.

I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like

Kibbles.

I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 5th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freakin' blow dryer

!! And it's hot

as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the

A/C repairman

charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to

order parts.

July 10th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500

in damn house

payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come

here?

July 24th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed

today. It cost

over $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this

freakin'

humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid

repairman

took forever and charged me extra for his time. I hate this

stupid city.

Aug. 4th:

If another wise cracks, " Hot enough for you today? " ,

I'm going to

strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the

radiator is

boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like

baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat

on the

black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on

fire.

I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my

legs and

ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, and

baked cat.

Aug. 10th:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot

and sunny.

Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit

for 3 damn

months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next

week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this state?? Water rationing

is next, and

$1700 worth of cactus might just dry up and blow into the

damn pool.

Even the cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to

crack the

window and blew the windshield out of the car. The

installer

came to fix it and said, " Hot enough for you today? " My

wife had to

spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Freakin' Texas !!

What kind of a sick demented idiot would ever want to live

here??