Anger Management (Too funny)

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

A friend sent this to me and I am still laughing. Hope it gives you a smile

too!

Stacey in PA

ANGER MANAGEMENT

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to

take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to

make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, " Hello? " I

politely said, " This is Jim Kingstrom, could I please speak with Robin

? " Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed the

last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to

call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, " You're an asshole! " and

hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put

it

in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd

call him up and yell, " You're an asshole! " It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling

would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, " Hi, this is

from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with

the caller ID program? " he yelled,

" NO! " and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said,

" That's because you're an asshole! "

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently

waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot

ignored

me.

I noticed a " For Sale " sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I

dialed and

someone said, " Hello? " I said, " Is this the man with the black BMW for sale? "

" Yes it is. " " Can you tell me where I can see it? " " Yes, I live at 1802 West

34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front. "

" What's your name? " I asked. " My name is Don Hansen, " he said.

" When's a good time to catch you, Don? " " I'm home every evening after five. "

" Listen, Don, can I tell you something? " " Yes? " " Don, you're an asshole! "

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several

months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came

up

with an idea: I called

Asshole #1. " Hello " " You're an asshole! " (but I didn't hang up.) " Are you

still there? " he asked. " Yeah, " I said. " Stop calling me, " he screamed " Make

me, " Isaid.

" Who are you? " he asked. " My name is Don Hansen. " " Yeah? Where do you live? "

" Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black

Beemer out front. "

He said, " I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying

your prayers. "

I said,

" Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole. "

Then I called asshole # 2: " Hello? " he said. " Hello Asshole, " I said.

He yelled, " If I ever find out who you are... " " You'll what? " I said. " I'll

kick your ass, " he exclaimed. I answered, " Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now. "

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West

34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two

assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a

police helicopter and a news crew.

Now, I feel better.

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>Love and Hugs

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>always remember, jeremiah 29:11 Even when it isn't clear now, it will be.

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