Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

[Guest guest]

I am sorry for your pain and situation. Contact North Pointe Center. They are

great. Feel free to contact me off list

Lesli

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him to calm down

and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit me again my friends wife

finally talk him out. He was shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for

a minute and gather my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get

our clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home

he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because

I love him more than anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I

am so scared because I don't know what to do and this is not the first time he

has hit me but I am concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

Where are they located?

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as

a ox. No would could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and

as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

They are off of 121 and Hebron Parkway. Here is their contact information. They

have both in patient and outpatient services.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as

a ox. No would could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and

as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

Do they deal with autistic children?

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as

a ox. No would could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told20me he was sorry

and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

Honestly I am not sure. I know they deal with a lot of different issues-so

definitly contact them at least for other resources. what is your son's primary

diagnosis?

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as

a ox. No would could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told20me he was sorry

and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

I really understand. When we put my 14 year old son w/asd on accutane for acne

he became very angry and would punch doors and walls and be unreachable. I was

very worried he would hit me. We somehow got through it because I knew the

accutane was short term medication and I had his brothers to help me control him

physically..

I used risperdal during that time to take the edge off his extreme anger and

later took him off the risperdal as he matured and had less going on

chemically/hormonally inside.

I cannot speak or advise re. medical but perhaps a " good " reputable physician

could help with this while your son is in that appropriate developmental stage

of fluctuating hormones and unable to self regulate emotionally. Dont' forget

how we deal with PMS and we don't have an ASD so it is very hard for young boys.

I used Dr. Marcellus in Houston who may be too far away for you but I like him

and trust him not to over-medicate.

Diane

Sndy@... wrote:

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him to calm down

and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit me again my friends wife

finally talk him out. He was shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for

a minute and gather my self. When I

did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and

as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles.

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

pdd-nos autism mild to moderate

Help, please son is becoming violent

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends house because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was

talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing

him and would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had

a brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be=2

0at times and they don't judge him like most people. but to get back to the

story he started hitting my friend and when I tried to stop him he began hitting

me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as

a ox. No would could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told20me he was sorry

and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel people are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there

something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from

anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this

out. His doctors are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE

of Dallas about 30 miles. 

0A

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

he is currently taking risperdol, clonidine and abilify

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

I really understand. When we put my 14 year old son w/asd on accutane for acne

he became very angry and would punch doors and walls and be unreachable. I was

very worried he would hit me. We somehow got through it because I knew the

accutane was short term medication and I had his brothers to help me control him

physically..

I used risperdal during that time to take the edge off his extreme anger and

later took him off the risperdal as he matured and had less going on

chemically/hormonally inside.

I cannot speak or advise re. medical but perhaps a " good " reputable physician

could help with this while your son is in that appropriate developmental stage

of fluctuating hormones and unable to self regulate emotionally. Dont' forget

how we deal with PMS and we don't have an ASD so it is very hard for young boys.

I used Dr. Marcellus in Houston who may be too far away for you but I like him

and trust him not to over-medicate.

Diane

Sndy@... wrote:

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends hous

e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all started as

my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was talking to

someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing him and

would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a

brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him to calm down

and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit me again my friends wife

finally talk him out. He was shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for

a minute and gather my self. When I

did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and

as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel peo

ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there something

I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how

to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors

are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about

30 miles.

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

Hmmm... My son takes geodon, concerta and clonazapam (as needed). My son is not

on the spectrum of autism-but I would contact them. The assessment is free-no

obligations-we are going on our fifth week and we have finally seen a huge

improvement!!! We were very skeptical-i wrote a letter-also in tears-not knowing

what to do-the right med cocktail and the therapy has worked for us. Please stay

in contact and I really understand how you feel-my thoughts are with you

Lesli

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

I really understand. When we put my 14 year old son w/asd on accutane for acne

he became very angry and would punch doors and walls and be unreachable. I was

very worried he would hit me. We somehow got through it because I knew the

accutane was short term medication and I had his brothers to help me control him

physically..

I used risperdal during that time to take the edge off his extreme anger and

later took him off the risperdal as he matured and had less going on

chemically/hormonally inside.

I cannot speak or advise re. medical but perhaps a " good " reputable physician

could help with this while your son is in that appropriate developmental stage

of fluctuating hormones and unable to self regulate emotionally. Dont' forget

how we deal with PMS and we don't have an ASD so it is very hard for young boys.

I used Dr. Marcellus in Houston who may be too far away for you but I like him

and trust him not to over-medicate.

Diane

Sndy@... wrote:

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends hous

e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all started as

my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was talking to

someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing him and

would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a

brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him to calm down

and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit me again my friends wife

finally talk him out. He was shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for

a minute and gather my self. When I

did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he

refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and

as I looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than

anything and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I

don't know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel peo

ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there something

I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how

to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors

are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about

30 miles.

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

My son takes Geodon, Topamax and Clonazepam also and has done far better. The

medications will need to be adjusted eventually.

Ive

Houston, TX

specialeffectstutoring@... wrote:

Hmmm... My son takes geodon, concerta and clonazapam (as needed). My

son is not on the spectrum of autism-but I would contact them. The assessment is

free-no obligations-we are going on our fifth week and we have finally seen a

huge improvement!!! We were very skeptical-i wrote a letter-also in tears-not

knowing what to do-the right med cocktail and the therapy has worked for us.

Please stay in contact and I really understand how you feel-my thoughts are with

you

Lesli

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

I really understand. When we put my 14 year old son w/asd on accutane for acne

he became very angry and would punch doors and walls and be unreachable. I was

very worried he would hit me. We somehow got through it because I knew the

accutane was short term medication and I had his brothers to help me control him

physically..

I used risperdal during that time to take the edge off his extreme anger and

later took him off the risperdal as he matured and had less going on

chemically/hormonally inside.

I cannot speak or advise re. medical but perhaps a " good " reputable physician

could help with this while your son is in that appropriate developmental stage

of fluctuating hormones and unable to self regulate emotionally. Dont' forget

how we deal with PMS and we don't have an ASD so it is very hard for young boys.

I used Dr. Marcellus in Houston who may be too far away for you but I like him

and trust him not to over-medicate.

Diane

Sndy@... wrote:

Hello,

I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We just left a

friends hous

e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all started as

my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my friend was talking to

someone else and it made my son very angry and he started splashing him and

would not stop. My friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a

brother that was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like most

people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I

tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him to calm down

and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit me again my friends wife

finally talk him out. He was shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for

a minute and gather my self. When I

did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and leave he refused.

Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told me he was sorry and as I

looked at him my heart is just breaking because I love him more than anything

and I sit here and write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't

know what to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned

for him if this happens and I am not around w

hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world because I know how

cruel peo

ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is there something

I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how

to handle this. I just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors

are no help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about

30 miles.

Thanks

Sandy

Noahs Mom

[Guest guest]

Sandy,

While you are investigating for a match in finding a professional who

could specialize with the challenging behavior or seek which meds.

Not that this would of helped while this challenging behavior had

happen. I know we have some that are into this field here on the

listserve that could add on or suggest something where it could help

understand when your son gets frustrated and was unable to handle the

stress of their often confusing world.

Just thought I suggest in the mean time document some type of ABCs of

behavior similar to what you have described. Do you have access to a

simple documentation form that asks for just the facts of the situation.

One of the components of a functional behavior analysis (FBA) or any

systematic study of behavior is to note what happened prior to the

event, what the behavior looked liked, and what happened after the

behavior. The acronym " ABC " in this case stands for " Antecedent,

Behavior, Consequences. "

Most of the time when there are some behavior difficulties it is out

of frustration because they can't communicate their needs, desires,

fears, or pains.

Could your son have gotten jealous of your friend's friend who she/he

was talking to and felt ignored, not given the attention he seek or

what was his motivation?

Pay as much (or even more) attention to what was going on before the

behavior occurred than what happened after the behavior occurred.

How is your friend? Maybe he likes her/him and wanted your friend all

to himself.

One will never know but obviously something trigger this off.

Glad all finally calm down and definitely safety that no one ended up

getting physically hurt being in the hot tub.

Sometimes it's not cool when us mom's embarrass them in front of

friends who they may try to impress.

Yep, no fun when they get older, bigger & stronger.

Wishing you well on your mission here to seek the help your son needs.

Irma

>

> Hello,

> I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We

just left a friends house because my son got way out of control with

his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were relaxing

in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it made

my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not stop. My

friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother that

was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because they

do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like

most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend

and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old

and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would

could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather

my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the

way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is

just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit here and

write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what

to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned

for him if this happens and I am not around w

> hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

because I know how cruel people are out there and will not understand

when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can go

see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I

just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no

help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

about 30 miles.

>

> Thanks

>

> Sandy

>

> Noahs Mom

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is what I would do:

1. Never make eye-contact during a tantrum or rage attack. Visual stimulation is

excitatory.

2. Give more personal space and move away from the situation. Use tactile

distraction - go wash your face ( water touches the skin ) or oral distraction -

go drink water. Here you are competing with an internal environment (anxiety,

rage ...etc.) with external stimulus.

3. Switch on a NEWS channel on the radio.....(not music because music is a right

brain stimulus and may lead to more emotions) News is non personal and

stimulates the left side of the brain that is non- emotional. So emotions +

emotion = 2 emotions is not taking place.

With news (  auditory stimulus) interacting  with  emotions  ( internal

stimulus  -  anxiety)  there are chances that external stimulus take over.

4. Neuroleptic drugs may help because they make the learned type of emotional

outburst by making the brain drowsy for some days and then you can help rewrite

new and improved activity after the unlearning takes place. ( eg. Sometimes we

feel sick in a certain situation and identical situation....so these types of

aggression can happen in identical ways with identical situations.)

5. Never say STOP. Instead say 'careful, you might cause an accident' etc.

Again I am certain that I may be wrong. But that is how I feel. I would be glad

to know how it went after following this ( if followed ) .

-

Soma Mukhopadhyay

Subject: Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

Date: Monday, 25 August, 2008, 4:49 PM

Sandy,

While you are investigating for a match in finding a professional who

could specialize with the challenging behavior or seek which meds.

Not that this would of helped while this challenging behavior had

happen. I know we have some that are into this field here on the

listserve that could add on or suggest something where it could help

understand when your son gets frustrated and was unable to handle the

stress of their often confusing world.

Just thought I suggest in the mean time document some type of ABCs of

behavior similar to what you have described. Do you have access to a

simple documentation form that asks for just the facts of the situation.

One of the components of a functional behavior analysis (FBA) or any

systematic study of behavior is to note what happened prior to the

event, what the behavior looked liked, and what happened after the

behavior. The acronym " ABC " in this case stands for " Antecedent,

Behavior, Consequences. "

Most of the time when there are some behavior difficulties it is out

of frustration because they can't communicate their needs, desires,

fears, or pains.

Could your son have gotten jealous of your friend's friend who she/he

was talking to and felt ignored, not given the attention he seek or

what was his motivation?

Pay as much (or even more) attention to what was going on before the

behavior occurred than what happened after the behavior occurred.

How is your friend? Maybe he likes her/him and wanted your friend all

to himself.

One will never know but obviously something trigger this off.

Glad all finally calm down and definitely safety that no one ended up

getting physically hurt being in the hot tub.

Sometimes it's not cool when us mom's embarrass them in front of

friends who they may try to impress.

Yep, no fun when they get older, bigger & stronger.

Wishing you well on your mission here to seek the help your son needs.

Irma

>

> Hello,

> I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We

just left a friends house because my son got way out of control with

his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were relaxing

in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it made

my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not stop. My

friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother that

was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because they

do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like

most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend

and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old

and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would

could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather

my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the

way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is

just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit here and

write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what

to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned

for him if this happens and I am not around w

> hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

because I know how cruel people are out there and will not understand

when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can go

see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I

just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no

help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

about 30 miles.

>

> Thanks

>

> Sandy

>

> Noahs Mom

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Is your son receiving Metro Care services (Dallas's MHMR center)?

If so you can ask his case manager for servies with a behavioral

specialist.

I agree about finding a good doctor to reassess his meds. Abilify can

make some kids violent.

I like Dr. for a Neurologist. He blends Western

medicine and Eastern medicine. He also does QEEG Neurofeedback

therapy which can help with aggression.

12870 Hillcrest Rd, Suite 201 (just south of LBJ)

Dallas TX 75230

http://www.neurotherapydallas.com/

Here is some information on biomedical Intervention for children with

autism:

http://autism.asu.edu/Additional/Summarybiomed07.pdf

If you don't have your son on the list for HCS, CLASS and In-Home

family support with the MHMR center, get him on these lists asap.

In-Home Family Support is usually a short wait and they can pay for

Neurofeedback therapy according to what you qualify for.

Nagla

>

> Hello,

>

> I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We

just left a friends hous

> e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my

friend was talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and

he started splashing him and would not stop. My friend has a sister

is who disabled and his wife had a brother that was bipolar and so I

cherish their friendship very much because they do understand how my

son can be at times and they don't judge him like most people. but to

get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I tried

to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him

to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit

me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was shaking with

anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I

>

> did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and

leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told

me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking

because I love him more than anything and I sit here and write this

through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what to do and

this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned for him

if this happens and I am not around w

>

> hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

because I know how cruel peo

> ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is

there something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any

suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help

in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no help. Please again I

will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about 30 miles.

>

>

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

> Sandy

>

>

>

> Noahs Mom

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I need to clarify, MHMR center will only put your son on the HCS and

In-Home Family support list.

For CLASS you need to call Department of

Aging and Disability Services (DADS) in Austin.

Call - 1- 877- 438- 5658

Nagla

> >

> > Hello,

> >

> > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written.

We

> just left a friends hous

> > e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It

all

> started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my

> friend was talking to someone else and it made my son very angry

and

> he started splashing him and would not stop. My friend has a sister

> is who disabled and his wife had a brother that was bipolar and so

I

> cherish their friendship very much because they do understand how

my

> son can be at times and they don't judge him like most people. but

to

> get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I tried

> to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7

and

> weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him

> to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had

hit

> me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was shaking with

> anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

> When I

> >

> > did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and

> leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he

told

> me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking

> because I love him more than anything and I sit here and write this

> through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what to do and

> this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned for him

> if this happens and I am not around w

> >

> > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

> because I know how cruel peo

> > ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is

> there something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any

> suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help

> in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no help. Please again

I

> will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about 30 miles.

> >

> >

> >

> > Thanks

> >

> >

> >

> > Sandy

> >

> >

> >

> > Noahs Mom

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Noah just got approved for CLASS, his services through MHMR in Terrell are a

joke because he receives no services from them whatsoever. His case worker

changes every couple of months and has since we were assigned one. Just as we

get use to one and are hopeful that the new one is going to get something done

services, etc. I get a new letter in the mail telling me this person is no

longer with them and I will be contacted by his new one. And just as we get this

done it starts all over again. So they have a behavioral specialist? It is so

confusing as to what they will provide because no one tells you anything.

Thanks

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

Is your son receiving Metro Care services (Dallas's MHMR center)?

If so you can ask his case manager for servies with a behavioral

specialist.

I agree about finding a good doctor to reassess his meds. Abilify can

make some kids violent.

I like Dr. for a Neurologist. He blends Western

medicine and Eastern medicine. He also does QEEG Neurofeedback

therapy which can help with aggression.

12870 Hillcrest Rd, Suite 201 (just south of LBJ)

Dallas TX 75230

http://www.neurotherapydallas.com/

Here is some informat

ion on biomedical Intervention for children with

autism:

http://autism.asu.edu/Additional/Summarybiomed07.pdf

If you don't have your son on the list for HCS, CLASS and In-Home

family support with the MHMR center, get him on these lists asap.

In-Home Family Support is usually a short wait and they can pay for

Neurofeedback therapy according to what you qualify for.

Nagla

>

> Hello,

>

> I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We

just left a friends hous

> e because my son got way out of control with his aggression. It all

started as my son and my friend were relaxing in the hot tub and my

friend was talking to someone else and it made my son very angry and

he started splashing him and would not stop. My friend has a sister

is who disabled and his wife had a brother that was bipolar and so I

cherish their friendship very much because they do understand how my

son can be at times and they don't judge him like most people. but to

get back to the story he started hitting my friend and when I tried

to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old and 5 ft 7 and

weighs 170 lbs

.. and he is as strong as a ox. No would could get him

to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally after he had hit

me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was shaking with

anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather my self.

When I

>

> did come back and told him we needed to get our clothes on and

leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the way home he told

me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is just breaking

because I love him more than anything and I sit here and write this

through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what to do and

this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned for him

if this happens and I am not around w

>

> hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

because I know how cruel peo

> ple are out there and will not understand when he gets angry. Is

there something I can do or someone we can go see? I will take any

suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I just need some help

in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no help. Please again I

will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas about 30 miles.

>

>

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

> Sandy

>

>

>

> Noahs Mom

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Soma for your wisdom and your advice. I have seen you do this

technique on some very large children and teens who tower over you and

outweigh you by a hundred pounds. Hopefully having this knowledge will

prevent families from living a secluded life and give our children

peace. I especially like the News channel idea because my son loves to

watch CNN when he is stressed. I always thought this was odd until now.

He especially likes News 8 Austin because it repeats over and over. I

also appreciate the wording you use and because I've seen you work with

many children (I think your up to 900 now?) I've seen that words matter,

and your response to the situation is equally as important as the

situation itself. I look forward to more lessons from you here.

Trina

Tito Tito wrote:

>

> This is what I would do:

>

> 1. Never make eye-contact during a tantrum or rage attack. Visual

> stimulation is excitatory.

>

> 2. Give more personal space and move away from the situation. Use

> tactile distraction - go wash your face ( water touches the skin ) or

> oral distraction - go drink water. Here you are competing with an

> internal environment (anxiety, rage ...etc.) with external stimulus.

>

> 3. Switch on a NEWS channel on the radio.....(not music because music

> is a right brain stimulus and may lead to more emotions) News is non

> personal and stimulates the left side of the brain that is non-

> emotional. So emotions + emotion = 2 emotions is not taking place.

> With news ( auditory stimulus) interacting with emotions (

> internal stimulus - anxiety) there are chances that external

> stimulus take over.

>

> 4. Neuroleptic drugs may help because they make the learned type of

> emotional outburst by making the brain drowsy for some days and then

> you can help rewrite new and improved activity after the unlearning

> takes place. ( eg. Sometimes we feel sick in a certain situation and

> identical situation....so these types of aggression can happen in

> identical ways with identical situations.)

>

> 5. Never say STOP. Instead say 'careful, you might cause an accident'

> etc.

>

> Again I am certain that I may be wrong. But that is how I feel. I

> would be glad to know how it went after following this ( if followed ) .

> -

> Soma Mukhopadhyay

>

>

> From: mum592001 <itcanfield@... <mailto:itcanfield%40gmail.com>>

> Subject: Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

> To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

> <mailto:Texas-Autism-Advocacy%40yahoogroups.com>

> Date: Monday, 25 August, 2008, 4:49 PM

>

> Sandy,

>

> While you are investigating for a match in finding a professional who

>

> could specialize with the challenging behavior or seek which meds.

>

> Not that this would of helped while this challenging behavior had

>

> happen. I know we have some that are into this field here on the

>

> listserve that could add on or suggest something where it could help

>

> understand when your son gets frustrated and was unable to handle the

>

> stress of their often confusing world.

>

> Just thought I suggest in the mean time document some type of ABCs of

>

> behavior similar to what you have described. Do you have access to a

>

> simple documentation form that asks for just the facts of the situation.

>

> One of the components of a functional behavior analysis (FBA) or any

>

> systematic study of behavior is to note what happened prior to the

>

> event, what the behavior looked liked, and what happened after the

>

> behavior. The acronym " ABC " in this case stands for " Antecedent,

>

> Behavior, Consequences. "

>

> Most of the time when there are some behavior difficulties it is out

>

> of frustration because they can't communicate their needs, desires,

>

> fears, or pains.

>

> Could your son have gotten jealous of your friend's friend who she/he

>

> was talking to and felt ignored, not given the attention he seek or

>

> what was his motivation?

>

> Pay as much (or even more) attention to what was going on before the

>

> behavior occurred than what happened after the behavior occurred.

>

> How is your friend? Maybe he likes her/him and wanted your friend all

>

> to himself.

>

> One will never know but obviously something trigger this off.

>

> Glad all finally calm down and definitely safety that no one ended up

>

> getting physically hurt being in the hot tub.

>

> Sometimes it's not cool when us mom's embarrass them in front of

>

> friends who they may try to impress.

>

> Yep, no fun when they get older, bigger & stronger.

>

> Wishing you well on your mission here to seek the help your son needs.

>

> Irma

>

>

>

> >

>

> > Hello,

>

> > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written. We

>

> just left a friends house because my son got way out of control with

>

> his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were relaxing

>

> in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it made

>

> my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not stop. My

>

> friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother that

>

> was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because they

>

> do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him like

>

> most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my friend

>

> and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12 yrs old

>

> and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No would

>

> could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

>

> after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out. He was

>

> shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and gather

>

> my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

>

> clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On the

>

> way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart is

>

> just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit here and

>

> write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know what

>

> to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am concerned

>

> for him if this happens and I am not around w

>

> > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

>

> because I know how cruel people are out there and will not understand

>

> when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can go

>

> see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle this. I

>

> just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are no

>

> help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

>

> about 30 miles.

>

> >

>

> > Thanks

>

> >

>

> > Sandy

>

> >

>

> > Noahs Mom

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

[Guest guest]

I have been told that I'm so extremely patient. I " appear " this

way. Prior to my son's diagnosis of autism and my own children I was

a dedicated elem school teacher. I PERSONALLY have felt rage at

times but I guess I've learned how to handle the situation without

acting on it. I say all of this because your son is 100% normal,

but he has a harder time regulating. Nobody would know the " fire " I

feel inside at times because I can control it. I think that many

people feel the way your son did, but they have a better time

adjusting and communicating.

I've learned a lot as I work to heal my son. Something very

interesting and amazing has happened. As I learned what to do for

him I did these things myself because I was breastfeeding another

child and wanted to do everything I could to avoid another

diagnosis.

Diet has been absolutely KEY in my healing and in my son's

recovery. Surely in my second child's prevention. I had no idea

how frustrated I was becoming or how ridiculous I could be until I

started getting well. When I took away what was harming my body and

added healing foods I got better. I function SO MUCH BETTER. I

feel GREAT! I don't feel that " rage " under the surface anymore.

Food affects us. For folks with gastrointestinal damage whether from

vaccines or other it is vital to understand this situation.

I believe for our kids, ABA combined with healing the body will yield

the best results. This was the case in our home. I definately

think good ABA providers can help. We had lots of success with

Spectrum of Hope. There are many things you can do to heal the body

using biomedical therapies. However diet is key and the foundation

must be laid for these interventions to work with most kids. The

GFCF is step one in diet and a good start, but for most much more is

needed. Heal the body and get good ABA in place to help with

understanding and regulating.

Blessings,

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Hello,

> >

> > > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written.

We

> >

> > just left a friends house because my son got way out of control

with

> >

> > his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were

relaxing

> >

> > in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it

made

> >

> > my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not

stop. My

> >

> > friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother

that

> >

> > was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they

> >

> > do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him

like

> >

> > most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my

friend

> >

> > and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12

yrs old

> >

> > and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No

would

> >

> > could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

> >

> > after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out.

He was

> >

> > shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and

gather

> >

> > my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

> >

> > clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On

the

> >

> > way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart

is

> >

> > just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit

here and

> >

> > write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know

what

> >

> > to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned

> >

> > for him if this happens and I am not around w

> >

> > > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

> >

> > because I know how cruel people are out there and will not

understand

> >

> > when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can

go

> >

> > see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle

this. I

> >

> > just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are

no

> >

> > help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

> >

> > about 30 miles.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Thanks

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Sandy

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Noahs Mom

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Yes , diet and ABA definitely should help. They are long term actions.

I was just trying to state the 'immediate action' that can be taken 'then and

there' to avoid someone getting hurt.

I am sorry to put my words here impulsively because I know the seriousness of a

rage attack. It can take just moments  but  can  cause  big  damages. 

Henceforth I will not state my concerns.

-

Regards,

Soma Mukhopadhyay

Subject: Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

Date: Wednesday, 27 August, 2008, 6:55 AM

I have been told that I'm so extremely patient. I " appear " this

way. Prior to my son's diagnosis of autism and my own children I was

a dedicated elem school teacher. I PERSONALLY have felt rage at

times but I guess I've learned how to handle the situation without

acting on it. I say all of this because your son is 100% normal,

but he has a harder time regulating. Nobody would know the " fire " I

feel inside at times because I can control it. I think that many

people feel the way your son did, but they have a better time

adjusting and communicating.

I've learned a lot as I work to heal my son. Something very

interesting and amazing has happened. As I learned what to do for

him I did these things myself because I was breastfeeding another

child and wanted to do everything I could to avoid another

diagnosis.

Diet has been absolutely KEY in my healing and in my son's

recovery. Surely in my second child's prevention. I had no idea

how frustrated I was becoming or how ridiculous I could be until I

started getting well. When I took away what was harming my body and

added healing foods I got better. I function SO MUCH BETTER. I

feel GREAT! I don't feel that " rage " under the surface anymore.

Food affects us. For folks with gastrointestinal damage whether from

vaccines or other it is vital to understand this situation.

I believe for our kids, ABA combined with healing the body will yield

the best results. This was the case in our home. I definately

think good ABA providers can help. We had lots of success with

Spectrum of Hope. There are many things you can do to heal the body

using biomedical therapies. However diet is key and the foundation

must be laid for these interventions to work with most kids. The

GFCF is step one in diet and a good start, but for most much more is

needed. Heal the body and get good ABA in place to help with

understanding and regulating.

Blessings,

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Hello,

> >

> > > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written.

We

> >

> > just left a friends house because my son got way out of control

with

> >

> > his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were

relaxing

> >

> > in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it

made

> >

> > my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not

stop. My

> >

> > friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother

that

> >

> > was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they

> >

> > do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him

like

> >

> > most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my

friend

> >

> > and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12

yrs old

> >

> > and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No

would

> >

> > could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

> >

> > after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out.

He was

> >

> > shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and

gather

> >

> > my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

> >

> > clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On

the

> >

> > way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart

is

> >

> > just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit

here and

> >

> > write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know

what

> >

> > to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned

> >

> > for him if this happens and I am not around w

> >

> > > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

> >

> > because I know how cruel people are out there and will not

understand

> >

> > when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can

go

> >

> > see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle

this. I

> >

> > just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are

no

> >

> > help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

> >

> > about 30 miles.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Thanks

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Sandy

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Noahs Mom

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

[Guest guest]

What Soma said has really helped me. I believe that much of my son's aggression

is improved with how I respond to him. Thanks Soma.

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

Date: Wednesday, 27 August, 2008, 6:55 AM

I have been told that I'm so extremely patient. I " appear " this

way. Prior to my son's diagnosis of autism and my own children I was

a dedicated elem school teacher. I PERSONALLY have felt rage at

times but I guess I've learned how to handle the situation without

acting on it. I say all of this because your son is 100% normal,

but he has a harder time regulating. Nobody would know the " fire " I

feel inside at times because I can control it. I think that many

people feel the way your son did, but they have a better time

adjusting and communicating.

I've learned a lot as I work to heal my son. Something very

interesting and amazing has happened. As I learned what to do for

him I did these things myself because I was breastfeeding another

child and wanted to do everything I could to avoid another

diagnosis.

Diet has been absolutely KEY in my healing and in my son's

recovery. Surely in my second child's prevention. I had no idea

how frustrated I was becoming or how ridiculous I could be until I

started getting well. When I took away what was harming my body and

added healing foods I got better. I function SO MUCH BETTER. I

feel GREAT! I don't feel that " rage " under the surface anymore.

Food affects us. For folks with gastrointestinal damage whether from

vaccines or other it is vital to understand this situation.

I believe for our kids, ABA combined with healing the body will yield

the best results. This was the case in our home. I definately

think good ABA providers can help. We had lots of success with

Spectrum of Hope. There are many things you can do to heal the body

using biomedical therapies. However diet is key and the foundation

must be laid for these interventions to work with most kids. The

GFCF is step one in diet and a good start, but for most much more is

needed. Heal the body and get good ABA in place to help with

understanding and regulating.

Blessings,

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Hello,

> >

> > > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever written.

We

> >

> > just left a friends house because my son got way out of control

with

> >

> > his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were

relaxing

> >

> > in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it

made

> >

> > my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not

stop. My

> >

> > friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother

that

> >

> > was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

they

> >

> > do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge him

like

> >

> > most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my

friend

> >

> > and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12

yrs old

> >

> > and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No

would

> >

> > could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and finally

> >

> > after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out.

He was

> >

> > shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and

gather

> >

> > my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

> >

> > clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On

the

> >

> > way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my heart

is

> >

> > just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit

here and

> >

> > write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know

what

> >

> > to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

concerned

> >

> > for him if this happens and I am not around w

> >

> > > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

> >

> > because I know how cruel people are out there and will not

understand

> >

> > when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we can

go

> >

> > see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle

this. I

> >

> > just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors are

no

> >

> > help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of Dallas

> >

> > about 30 miles.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Thanks

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Sandy

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Noahs Mom

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Soma,

Your statements are always welcome.

I too, had posted also in regards to what areas to observe when her

son was acting out on possible causes that triggered off the behavior.

Since I am not a professional but as a parent I would of thrown this

or that based around what helped my son but your statements due to the

parents concern of the incident that happen when a rage attack are

very unpredictable especially due to where safety is concern your

statements was a Blessing where immediate action during emergency

situations are needed.

Thank you kindly for your time and wealth of knowledge.

Irma

>

> Yes , diet and ABA definitely should help. They are long term

actions.

> I was just trying to state the 'immediate action' that can be taken

'then and there' to avoid someone getting hurt.

> I am sorry to put my words here impulsively because I know the

seriousness of a rage attack. It can take just moments but can

cause big damages.

> Henceforth I will not state my concerns.

> -

> Regards,

> Soma Mukhopadhyay

[Guest guest]

I agree with Irma, I am thrilled to have Soma as a part of this group--you do

have a wealth of knowledge that we all appreciate you taking the time to share.

Soma, you are so wonderful at what you do. You had a session with my twin boys

a few years ago and I was highly impressed. I too want to thank you for giving

up some of your time to share your knowledge with all of us!

a

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

Hi Soma,

Your statements are always welcome.

I too, had posted also in regards to what areas to observe when her

son was acting out on possible causes that triggered off the behavior.

Since I am not a professional but as a parent I would of thrown this

or that based around what helped my son but your statements due to the

parents concern of the incident that happen when a rage attack are

very unpredictable especially due to where safety is concern your

statements was a Blessing where immediate action during emergency

situations are needed.

Thank you kindly for your time and wealth of knowledge.

Irma

>

> Yes , diet and ABA definitely should help. They are long term

actions.

> I was just trying to state the 'immediate action' that can be taken

'then and there' to avoid someone getting hurt.

> I am sorry to put my words here impulsively because I know the

seriousness of a rage attack. It can take just moments but can

cause big damages.

> Henceforth I will not state my concerns.

> -

> Regards,

> Soma Mukhopadhyay

[Guest guest]

Hi Soma, I understand your concern and the severity of the

situation. Nobody should have to go through this. I did the best I

could to sum up an idea that has been generated over the years of my

working to heal my son. Email is sometimes tricky for these

difficult issues.

I wish you well and I wish I did have a short term solution for your

very difficult situation.

> >

> > Yes , diet and ABA definitely should help. They are long

term

> actions.

> > I was just trying to state the 'immediate action' that can be

taken

> 'then and there' to avoid someone getting hurt.

> > I am sorry to put my words here impulsively because I know the

> seriousness of a rage attack. It can take just moments but can

> cause big damages.

> > Henceforth I will not state my concerns.

> > -

> > Regards,

> > Soma Mukhopadhyay

>

[Guest guest]

Soma,

I agree that diet and ABA are longterm solutions and can take some

time to show results. Certainly immediate resolutions are needed.

Your input is very valuable, please continue to share with the group.

Nagla

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Hello,

>

> > >

>

> > > > I think this is the hardest letter I think I have ever

written.

>

> We

>

> > >

>

> > > just left a friends house because my son got way out of control

>

> with

>

> > >

>

> > > his aggression. It all started as my son and my friend were

>

> relaxing

>

> > >

>

> > > in the hot tub and my friend was talking to someone else and it

>

> made

>

> > >

>

> > > my son very angry and he started splashing him and would not

>

> stop. My

>

> > >

>

> > > friend has a sister is who disabled and his wife had a brother

>

> that

>

> > >

>

> > > was bipolar and so I cherish their friendship very much because

>

> they

>

> > >

>

> > > do understand how my son can be at times and they don't judge

him

>

> like

>

> > >

>

> > > most people. but to get back to the story he started hitting my

>

> friend

>

> > >

>

> > > and when I tried to stop him he began hitting me. My son is 12

>

> yrs old

>

> > >

>

> > > and 5 ft 7 and weighs 170 lbs. and he is as strong as a ox. No

>

> would

>

> > >

>

> > > could get him to calm down and get out of the hot tub and

finally

>

> > >

>

> > > after he had hit me again my friends wife finally talk him out.

>

> He was

>

> > >

>

> > > shaking with anger and I just had to walk away for a minute and

>

> gather

>

> > >

>

> > > my self. When I did come back and told him we needed to get our

>

> > >

>

> > > clothes on and leave he refused. Finally he did and we left. On

>

> the

>

> > >

>

> > > way home he told me he was sorry and as I looked at him my

heart

>

> is

>

> > >

>

> > > just breaking because I love him more than anything and I sit

>

> here and

>

> > >

>

> > > write this through my tears I am so scared because I don't know

>

> what

>

> > >

>

> > > to do and this is not the first time he has hit me but I am

>

> concerned

>

> > >

>

> > > for him if this happens and I am not around w

>

> > >

>

> > > > hat will happen. I try and protect him from the outside world

>

> > >

>

> > > because I know how cruel people are out there and will not

>

> understand

>

> > >

>

> > > when he gets angry. Is there something I can do or someone we

can

>

> go

>

> > >

>

> > > see? I will take any suggestion from anyone on how to handle

>

> this. I

>

> > >

>

> > > just need some help in trying to figure this out. His doctors

are

>

> no

>

> > >

>

> > > help. Please again I will take any suggestions. I am SE of

Dallas

>

> > >

>

> > > about 30 miles.

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Thanks

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Sandy

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Noahs Mom

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I my gosh, I thought Soma's suggestions were so good that I forwarded them

to the assistant director at my son's school since the kids get sent to her

office when their behavior gets too out of control in the classroom. In the past

I've heard her saying, " NO, don't, stop " so I hope she'll use a different

strategy and see if it works better.

CReece

**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

(http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)

[Guest guest]

I think it is a natural reaction to say these things. I know that personally

speaking I try to be cognizant of the words I choose, my body language etc...

when speaking to my own children as well as the children I work with. I think it

is awesome that you sent it to the principal!!

Lesli

UtU

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Re: Help, please son is becoming violent

I my gosh, I thought Soma's suggestions were so good that I forwarded them

to the assistant director at my son's school since the kids get sent to her

office when their behavior gets too out of control in the classroom. In the past

I've heard her saying, " NO, don't, stop " so I hope she'll use a different

strategy and see if it works better.

CReece

**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

(http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)