RE:Think youve had a bad day

[Guest guest]

Excuse the discriptive language in this....just thought it was to

funny not to forward on...Kathi in OK

True Story:

>

> is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of

> Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

>

> Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She sent it to Laughline

and

> won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with her for that one). Anyway,

anytime

> you think you have had a bad day at the office, remember this guy.

>

> April 1998

>

> Hi, Sue,

>

> Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had

a

> bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at

work, so I

> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's

not

> so bad after all.

>

> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you

with a

> few technicalities of my job. This time of year the water is quite

cool,

> even with a wetsuit. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a

diesel

> powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks

the

> water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then

pumps it down

> to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

Now this

> sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no

> complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,

is I

> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my

> whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

>

> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to

itch.

> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a

few

> seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,

but

> the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

>

> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into

my

> suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a

cast. Now I

> had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the

> jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as

fortunate.

When I

> scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

> jellyfish into my ass.

>

> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His

> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5

other

> divers, were laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the

dive.

>

> It totaled 35 minutes before I could come to the surface for my

chamber

> dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass

helmet.

> My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the

medic,

> with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of

cream and

> told me to shove it " up my ass " when get in the chamber.

>

> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because

my

> asshole was swollen shut.

>

> Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me.

> Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a

jellyfish

> up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you

do, I

> hope this will make it more tolerable.

>