Guest guest Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 <<. I thought I should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) >> Heidi, I felt the same way early this year when I was diagnosed. I thought it was terribly unfair that he should have to go through this. Unfair for both of us. I asked him if he wanted to get divorced. He told me I must be crazy, that RA in no way changes our love. Your bringing that up really made me remember my blessings. Hugs, Carol Dear Abby Hi Gail, This is a bit late but I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said and tell you I hope you " go for it! " I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed over a year ago, it was really scary, my husband was only 26. I thought I should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) He thought I had gone dotty and told me he married me for better or worse and we'd get through this together and that he loved me whatever our lives would be. About 6 months ago he was told he might not be able to have children, his first reaction was to tell me he would understand if I wanted to leave him- Then it was MY turn to tell him HE was being dotty (further tests proved this was a misdiagnosis, the problem is more mine than his!) Anyway, I told him then that I didn't see a " return to sender if life's not perfect " sticker on his tuxedo at our wedding and that we would get through everything as a team, now he tells me the same. When you start off with someone you love you don't know what's in store for either of you down the road, speak to him and let yourself enjoy being happy, you deserve it after all you've been through. Hugs, Heidi _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 Carol and Heidi, Now, from a male point of view... Your messages brought back how I have felt in the past and how blessed I am as well. I have been married for 14 years and have two wonderful children. There have many times when I feel my wife really got more then she ever bargained for. I also feel bad for the kids, 2 boys, because I am much more limited in what I can do. What I have realized is that the " essence " of who you are isn't defined by your physical well-being. It's your heart and soul that really matter. Although there are many days I dream of waking up " normal " , my illnesses have taught me much more about live and love, than I think I would have known otherwise. Your messages made me remember that. Thank you. Al > <<. I thought I > should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad > flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) > >> > > Heidi, I felt the same way early this year when I was diagnosed. I thought > it was terribly unfair that he should have to go through this. Unfair for > both of us. I asked him if he wanted to get divorced. He told me I must be > crazy, that RA in no way changes our love. > > Your bringing that up really made me remember my blessings. > > Hugs, > Carol > > Dear Abby > > Hi Gail, > This is a bit late but I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said and > tell you I hope you " go for it! " I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed > over a year ago, it was really scary, my husband was only 26. I thought I > should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad > flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) > He thought I had gone dotty and told me he married me for better or worse > and we'd get through this together and that he loved me whatever our lives > would be. About 6 months ago he was told he might not be able to have > children, his first reaction was to tell me he would understand if I wanted > to leave him- Then it was MY turn to tell him HE was being dotty (further > tests proved this was a misdiagnosis, the problem is more mine than his!) > Anyway, I told him then that I didn't see a " return to sender if life's not > perfect " sticker on his tuxedo at our wedding and that we would get through > everything as a team, now he tells me the same. When you start off with > someone you love you don't know what's in store for either of you down the > road, speak to him and let yourself enjoy being happy, you deserve it after > all you've been through. > Hugs, > Heidi > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 Heidi Thanks for your input...I took all the groups advice and It didn't matter at all to him. He's very understanding and sees my inner-self and my character and loves me in spite of my RA and imperfections. I think he's probably got a few himself. :-) I can overlook those too. We are very happy and compatible together. That's all that matters. Hugs, Gail Dear Abby Hi Gail, This is a bit late but I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said and tell you I hope you " go for it! " I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed over a year ago, it was really scary, my husband was only 26. I thought I should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) He thought I had gone dotty and told me he married me for better or worse and we'd get through this together and that he loved me whatever our lives would be. About 6 months ago he was told he might not be able to have children, his first reaction was to tell me he would understand if I wanted to leave him- Then it was MY turn to tell him HE was being dotty (further tests proved this was a misdiagnosis, the problem is more mine than his!) Anyway, I told him then that I didn't see a " return to sender if life's not perfect " sticker on his tuxedo at our wedding and that we would get through everything as a team, now he tells me the same. When you start off with someone you love you don't know what's in store for either of you down the road, speak to him and let yourself enjoy being happy, you deserve it after all you've been through. Hugs, Heidi _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 Gail, that's just wonderful! It makes my heart sing to hear such good news. Hugs, Carol Dear Abby Heidi Thanks for your input...I took all the groups advice and It didn't matter at all to him. He's very understanding and sees my inner-self and my character and loves me in spite of my RA and imperfections. I think he's probably got a few himself. :-) I can overlook those too. We are very happy and compatible together. That's all that matters. Hugs, Gail Dear Abby Hi Gail, This is a bit late but I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said and tell you I hope you " go for it! " I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed over a year ago, it was really scary, my husband was only 26. I thought I should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) He thought I had gone dotty and told me he married me for better or worse and we'd get through this together and that he loved me whatever our lives would be. About 6 months ago he was told he might not be able to have children, his first reaction was to tell me he would understand if I wanted to leave him- Then it was MY turn to tell him HE was being dotty (further tests proved this was a misdiagnosis, the problem is more mine than his!) Anyway, I told him then that I didn't see a " return to sender if life's not perfect " sticker on his tuxedo at our wedding and that we would get through everything as a team, now he tells me the same. When you start off with someone you love you don't know what's in store for either of you down the road, speak to him and let yourself enjoy being happy, you deserve it after all you've been through. Hugs, Heidi _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2002 Report Share Posted July 23, 2002 Gail: Glad to hear that it all worked out - sounds like he is one great guy, hang onto him! Kathe in CA __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 Thank you Carol.....Yall go ahead and cook your rice though :-) Wedding bells are a LONG time off right now. It's good just to have someone in my life. Hugs :-) Gail Dear Abby Hi Gail, This is a bit late but I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said and tell you I hope you " go for it! " I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed over a year ago, it was really scary, my husband was only 26. I thought I should be fair and leave him to live a " normal " life (I was in a very bad flare and thought it would be like that forever - thank goodness it's not!) He thought I had gone dotty and told me he married me for better or worse and we'd get through this together and that he loved me whatever our lives would be. About 6 months ago he was told he might not be able to have children, his first reaction was to tell me he would understand if I wanted to leave him- Then it was MY turn to tell him HE was being dotty (further tests proved this was a misdiagnosis, the problem is more mine than his!) Anyway, I told him then that I didn't see a " return to sender if life's not perfect " sticker on his tuxedo at our wedding and that we would get through everything as a team, now he tells me the same. When you start off with someone you love you don't know what's in store for either of you down the road, speak to him and let yourself enjoy being happy, you deserve it after all you've been through. Hugs, Heidi _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 Thank you Kathe....He's A keeper. :-) Gail Dear Abby Gail: Glad to hear that it all worked out - sounds like he is one great guy, hang onto him! Kathe in CA __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 OK Gail: Can we use our bird seed too...LOL...that rice statement was so funny......ROTFL>>>>>Kathi in OK --- Gail <gegee@...> wrote: > Thank you Kathe....He's A keeper. :-) > > Gail > Dear Abby > > > Gail: Glad to hear that it all worked out - > sounds > like he is one great guy, hang onto him! > > Kathe in CA > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2002 Report Share Posted July 24, 2002 Yes Kathi...Go ahead and feed the birds too...No need in starving them too. Gail )))))) Dear Abby > > > Gail: Glad to hear that it all worked out - > sounds > like he is one great guy, hang onto him! > > Kathe in CA > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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