RE: Nice story

[Guest guest]

Great poem. Thanks for sharing. I'm looking to buy a scooter soon and

this poem expresses exactly why.

On Thu, 20 Apr 2000 08:35:42 EDT keeblertam@... writes:

> My New Set of Wheels

>

> There you stand, and I see you stare

> Thinking, poor dear, she's stuck in that chair.

> But I'm not sad, I'm very happy because

> I haven't forgotten the way it was.

>

> You'd say, " How about a trip to the zoo?

> A walk in the park will be good for you. "

> I was thinking tomorrow, I'll be a wreck,

> From my aching feet, to the pain in my neck.

>

> You'd want to go shopping, all over town.

> I was thinking but there's no place to sit down.

> For you it's a snap, just to go to the store.

> But for me the ordeal was more of a chore.

>

> Now I can go wherever I please

> I can shop in the mall with newfound ease,

> Do all the things that have to be done,

> And even go out and have some fun.

>

> So, do you want to know how it really feels,

> To be sitting here between these wheels?

> Can you remember back that far,

> When you got your very first car?

>

> Well, that's how these wheels feel to me.

> They don't hold me down, they set me free.

> So, don't think all those pitiful things:

> These aren't wheels, I think they're my wings.

>

> By Darlene Uggen

> from Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul

> Copyright 1999 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

>

>

> Tammy

> There are two ways to live your life...........

> One is as though nothing is a miracle...........

> The other is as though everything is a miracle!

>

>

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/00 5:36:47 PM Central Daylight Time,

boudymanii@... writes:

<< And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because

the

loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

>>

This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 1/2 years

ago. Jessie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/2000 10:30:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

JB66111@... writes:

<< This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 1/2 years

ago. >>

There are moments when the pain is there. It just dawned on me tonight that

next year may be the last year any of my kids are involved in football

(unless Katey makes the freshman cheerleading team). Now I am not a football

nut, but for the past 12+ years, I have been chauffering kids back and forth

to practices, worked concession stands, sat in the stands during all weather

conditions, attending sport banquets, etc. So yes, tonight I had a painful

moment.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/00 10:03:54 PM Central Daylight Time,

c1ndysue1@... writes:

> There are moments when the pain is there. It just dawned on me tonight

that

> next year may be the last year any of my kids are involved in football

> (unless Katey makes the freshman cheerleading team). Now I am not a

> football

> nut, but for the past 12+ years, I have been chauffering kids back and

forth

>

> to practices, worked concession stands, sat in the stands during all

weather

>

> conditions, attending sport banquets, etc. So yes, tonight I had a

painful

> moment.

>

>

lol

I did that too with Joe and (ages now 22, 21) I now sit at soccer

games watching Kaite, and keeping Sara off the field lolol I thought I would

miss the footballs and Pom Poms but I don't lolol and I imagine when Kaite's

through with soccer Sara will have her own activity that Ill have to take her

around town. I took her to a dance last week Heehee that I enjoyed lolol I

got to SIT and chat with Bill Curtis and Ona

I need to get off my rear and get Sara involved with SO, she great at

swimming and diving and she also loves to run. I dont see myself off a field

in a longggggg time. I just need to be in an area that is a bit cooler lolol

the heat kills me if Im not the one in the pool

Kathy mom to Sara 8

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/24/00 12:22:15 AM Central Daylight Time,

ckc@... writes:

> Do you mean there is never, ever, even one bit of regret, of hurt feeling,

> of wondering what if?

Ive never considered the " what ifs " with Sara. I might be odd, (OK OK Joy I

know I am lolol) but Sara came to be when I had two middle children from my

first marriage. I also had a two yr. old and I lost my dad at age 47........I

was 23 soooooo I was kind of used to hard knocks and I figured out before

Sara was born that there is no such thing as a " normal " or " normal child " .

Truthfully Sara's made me forget my OTHER regrets Heehee Like not finishing

college, being career minded etc........ she's made me a new person that I

really do like and she tells me daily..........she lovesssssssssss me

Kathy mom to Sara 8

[Guest guest]

>This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents >feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 >1/2 years

ago. >>

That's wonderful for you. But yes, the pain is still here, nearly 12 years

later. I've described it like the tide, sometimes it's in, sometimes it's

out. In stormy weather, it crashes, but other times it's sneaky.

Do you mean there is never, ever, even one bit of regret, of hurt feeling,

of wondering what if?

When Ian was born, we received this essay (it's not a poem, though I've seen

it called a poem many times over) from multiple sources. There were times

we found it helpful, there were times we resented it -- guess it depended on

how things were going. I'm going to go out on a limb here (God help me),

but I will say this: I love Holland, now that I have to be here. But

having been to Italy twice over now, I have to say that had I never gone to

Holland in the first place, but had made three trips to Italy instead, I'd

have been far happier. Life would have been a lot easier.

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/24/00 12:33:30 AM Central Daylight Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

<< ....she lovesssssssssss me

Kathy mom to Sara 8 >>

Yeah and but dont you think when she's hugging and saying this, what has she

done now? LOLOLOL (sorry couldn't resisit)

But for the most part..... getting back to the subject, :-), i don't spend a

lot of time on the what ifs. (yes there are occasional twinges, like

explained) but to me She just is, if you know what I mean, well maybe you

don't...and I guess I really can't explain it. :-)

take care. :-)

Joy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/00 5:36:47 PM Central Daylight Time,

boudymanii@... writes:

<< And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because

the

loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

>>

>>This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 1/2 years

ago. Jessie<<

I never had any pain. I don't know why as I'm sure if I'd known before Soph

was born I would have been devestated. It was painful for my husband but I

am sure he doesn't feel it now. I expect we will feel all sorts in the

future but I don't think pain will be one of our feelings.

Sue

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/00 10:30:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time, JB66111@...

writes:

<< This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? >>

I grieved when Sheila was about 2 weeks old I got past most of it. But

everytime she has had a medical problem pop up (and this has been pretty

often over the past 13 years) I have felt some pain. So, I suppose you could

argue this both ways--it has never completely gone away, or you could argue

that I'm long past it and just reacting to the immediate medical problem. I

certainly don't dwell on the pain part.

nancy

[Guest guest]

I think the pain comes and goes, too. The pain I feel isn't necessarily for

me, it's more for the things I know will never get to experience in

life. That's what saddens me.

Jackie, Mom to 12ds, 10, and Bradley 6

[Guest guest]

> >This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents

>feel

> that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 >1/2

years

> ago. >>

>

Do you know, even adoptive parents can feel the same pain. well, not the

same maybe, we didn't have the grief and we went into parenthood knowing

that our kids would be challenging to raise for one reason or another. But

I have days of hurt over tim that I never had over ben and naomi. It hurts

when I see him desperate to be the star of the school play and he is one of

the crowd, when he is desperate to take the collection but the " big " kids

(his own age) get chosen. It hurts when he tries so hard to be understood

and no one does, it hurts that yes he has friends and goes to parties but no

one invites him over to play at their house, it hurts that I need to go thro

the social services to get respite for him when his siblings are invited

regularly for sleepoves by their friends. I'm not knocking " holland " ,

frankly I find the pace of life there much easier to live with than the

frantic rushings about in " Italy " , but there are times when I have to deal

with issues so often that my other kids never have that I want to scream and

then I ask myself what am I doing here, there have to be better ways to live

than this. Then he will say something so sweet or funny, and I squeeze him

tight whisper sweet nothings in his ears and the world is put to rights

again.

Su Wong

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/00 10:30:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time, JB66111@...

writes:

<< << And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go awaybecause

the

loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

>>

This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 1/2 years

ago. Jessie

>>

I think it depends on how affected your child is by that extra chromosome.

I've seen some kids that seemed just a bit slow. I envy their abilities and

envy is painful. My child needs constant supervision and is very much like a

2 year old, though he is 8. My child also has autism, which makes this all

more difficult for him and us. So, my pain is for all the things my child

will never experience. It doesn't matter that he may not know what he'll

miss. I know, and just as we all feel the joys and triumphs our children

experience, some feel the loss in what can never be. At least that's my

feelings and yes, I'm in therapy.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I hear where your coming from. Kendra does really well in my opionion but

there are still times when the pain is back in full force. I had one of

those days on the first day of school. She started grade 5. I watched how

mature the other children in grade 5 were and I became overwhelmed with

" what might have been. " I love her dearly for who she is and could never

imagine life without her but somedays the hurt is so close to the surface,

for me, I don't think she ever feels she is different. She is just happy to

be her.

Sherry (mom to Kendra 10ds, Alyssa 6, 5 autism)

Re: Nice story

>In a message dated 9/23/00 10:30:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

JB66111@...

>writes:

>

><< << And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go awaybecause

> the

> loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

> >>

>

> This is what has always bothered me about this poem. Do most parents feel

> that way, that the pain never goes away? Mine went away about 35 1/2

years

> ago. Jessie

> >>

> I think it depends on how affected your child is by that extra chromosome.

>I've seen some kids that seemed just a bit slow. I envy their abilities

and

>envy is painful. My child needs constant supervision and is very much like

a

>2 year old, though he is 8. My child also has autism, which makes this all

>more difficult for him and us. So, my pain is for all the things my child

>will never experience. It doesn't matter that he may not know what he'll

>miss. I know, and just as we all feel the joys and triumphs our children

>experience, some feel the loss in what can never be. At least that's my

>feelings and yes, I'm in therapy.

>Judy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Aw Sherry. I must agree, I don't think thinks he is different

either....but when I look at other boys his age.......I feel the twinge too.

Jackie, Mom to 12ds....almost 13

[Guest guest]

I think I should explain why I brought this subject up. I wasn't trying

to put any one down, I just wondered. The answers have been interesting.

Several months ago I had a conversation with a friend who has a daughter

with DS who is about 32 now. We have known each other for at least 30 years

and been good friends. " June " and I were talking quietly in the kitchen

while the rest of the family was in another part of the house. The subject

of DS came up and she said, " They say it happens about once in 1000 births. "

There was a pause and then she said, " And to think it had to happen to us!

We could have had a daughter----- " and her voice trailed off. I could hardly

believe she said it, or that she felt that way. This girl has always been

included in everything they do, I know they love her. She is a lovely,

capable young woman that you could take anywhere and be proud of. I love her

and am proud of her. Yes, she is their only daughter. They also have a son

who is married and has a family. I always thought they felt at least

somewhat the way I do about . He is the best thing that ever happened

to me. For his sake I would want him to be " normal " but for my sake I

wouldn't change him. And he is my only son.

This is why I asked all of you. Does the hurt go away? Or does it

really last for 30+ years? I just wanted to know. Thank you for being

honest about it. My feeling is that most of you feel bad for the child more

than for yourselves. Jessie

[Guest guest]

There is a beautiful story of an overworked nurse who

escorted a tired,

young

man to her patient's bedside. Leaning over and

speaking loudly to the

elderly

patient, she said, " Your son is here. " With great

effort, his

unfocussed eyes

opened, then flickered shut again. The young man

squeezed the aged hand

in

his and sat beside the bed. Throughout the night he

sat there, holding

the

old man's hand and whispering words of comfort. By

morning's light, the

patient had died. In moments, hospital staff swarmed

into the room to

turn

off machines and remove needles. The nurse stepped

over to the young

man's

side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted

her. " Who was that

man? "

he asked.

The startled nurse replied, " I thought he was your

father! " " No, he was

not

my father, " he answered. " I never saw him before in my

life. " " Then why

didn't you say something when I took you to him? " " I

realized he needed

his

son and his son wasn't here, " the man explained. " And

since he was too

sick

to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he needed

me. "

Mother used to remind us that nobody should

have to die alone.

Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry

alone either. Or

laugh

alone or celebrate alone. We are made to travel life's

journey hand in

hand.

There is someone ready to grasp your hand today. And

someone hoping

you will

take theirs.

[Guest guest]

I liked the positive remarks about potential from the queen's mother--and the

comments from her sister and best friend.

Wish I hadn't had to go through the Downy commercial first, which seemed to

emphasize attractive young females with perfect figures and fancy clothes.  A

real comparison between the shallow commercial and the story!

-Gail

From: ellenbronfeld <egskb@...>

Subject: Nice story

IPADDUnite

Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 4:32 PM

Hi all:

This is a story about a teen who happens to have Down Syndrome who was

elected Homecoming Queen at her highschool in Texas.

In an ideal world, this would not be newsworthy.. .

Ellen

http://cosmos. bcst.. com/up/player/ popup/?

rn=3906861 & cl= 10207470 & ch=4226713 & src=news

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I fast forwarded through it, Gail...I barely have patience for TV, let alone

commercials.

Ellen

Nice story

IPADDUnite

Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 4:32 PM

Hi all:

This is a story about a teen who happens to have Down Syndrome who was

elected Homecoming Queen at her highschool in Texas.

In an ideal world, this would not be newsworthy.. .

Ellen

http://cosmos. bcst.. com/up/player/ popup/?

rn=3906861 & cl= 10207470 & ch=4226713 & src=news

__________________________________________________