Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Sondra- It is hard for a lot of people to communicate thru email. Written words don't have the voice to go with them, so when read can be read in a way that can be misunderstood. There are so many times that I read things in my emails and get angry and want to write back, but I don't because I am not sure of the intent of the writer. As for abortions and political issues, well, people can be very, very, very one sided on these issues and that is usually when you run into trouble. When I say you, I mean who ever is talking or writing about those issues, not you personally. I have decided that I won't get into issues that are so controversial over the email. This is such a touchy subject that I feel that I would need to be able to see and hear what the person is saying rather then read it only. Like I was saying earlier a voice with the words is easier to understand. I don't mind reading about others opinions and seeing their views but I don't like it when I read things that sound like judgments being made by others because of some one's beliefs. I think that someone might have said something the angered another and then a back and forth of I am right emails started (I am not sure since I started deleting most of them, except yours). Again, I like to hear what you have to say. You are a very important part of this group to me. Your posts are wonderful and very thoughtful. I can only speak for myself but I think most people use social cues all day everyday, just like you do. Like when you said you see people sitting quietly you know that is what is expected of you. That is what I would do too. Not sure if I helped or not. I want to. TJ > " taijij at work " I to be fo just confused of the peoples words and > so trying to find out from the words of what people are of changing > for so far I to see no words on abortions and no more words over > political. maybe the list owner can make of a list of words topics > that are of forbidden of here so can then remember of the rules. > > it is if hard to understand though when words come here to know which > ones are of ones to not respond to when it appears to me one is of > seeking words or asking of things? I to fear if not respond it will > be of rude and or not being of respectful. > > I to also lack why if I to bring of a topic here with the intent of > seeking of a thing the topic can then grow into this huge monster > metaphorically and it was of now my intent nor was it of a thing that > was preplanned as cant understand how sharing of something that > caused of me happy bringed out so much sad tears and wondered why if > was so happy out came sad and that flooded to the abortion words and > things of that. my words were of simply seeking clarity as to what > was of happening to me as felt it so powerfully that it was of > causing me fear of own self. this is of what NTs seem to be of very > good at is if inferring things that from words that are of not there > and cant understand of that processing ways they have but it seems > they can do this rapidly. I to just as I to shared wish one day > clould be to live as a NT to get of a better understand of how they > do things that seem so abstract to me . > > I to be of aware of the term of inferred and things of this from > exposure to it from my childrens IEP's as goals. so I to know it > exists and if I to do this not sure but maybe at times can infer some > things if it is of very clear.Like if I to be of go into a room and > every one is of sitting and quiet can infer of the fact this is of > what i to need to do too. whern I to be of getting ready to speak I > to know my turn is of fast approaching to go up front to speak when I > to see of the person coming to introduce of me to the group as a > promt for me to switch my brain to script mode and prepare of the > brain for that mode, it is of these little things I to use to guide > of me and lets me infer what is of next. I to think I to understand > of this word but maybe it for me is of not the same as a NT person so > wonder how they see or get of visual meaning from words that are of > not there or take of one word and switch the topic completly from > just the one word. > sondra > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 The big issue that so many are looking at, is this is a forum for Autism. There have been so many of topic issues that have no business being aired on here. If this is to be a social network instead of a forum to help each other on a singular subject, then the name needs to be changed. Abortions, politics, car problems, and other issues do not help each of us learn and cope with ourselves or our children. I understand that sometimes we need to vent, but things get way out of control on here when people go off subject. Becky in GA taijij at work wrote: Sondra- It is hard for a lot of people to communicate thru email. Written words don't have the voice to go with them, so when read can be read in a way that can be misunderstood. There are so many times that I read things in my emails and get angry and want to write back, but I don't because I am not sure of the intent of the writer. As for abortions and political issues, well, people can be very, very, very one sided on these issues and that is usually when you run into trouble. When I say you, I mean who ever is talking or writing about those issues, not you personally. I have decided that I won't get into issues that are so controversial over the email. This is such a touchy subject that I feel that I would need to be able to see and hear what the person is saying rather then read it only. Like I was saying earlier a voice with the words is easier to understand. I don't mind reading about others opinions and seeing their views but I don't like it when I read things that sound like judgments being made by others because of some one's beliefs. I think that someone might have said something the angered another and then a back and forth of I am right emails started (I am not sure since I started deleting most of them, except yours). Again, I like to hear what you have to say. You are a very important part of this group to me. Your posts are wonderful and very thoughtful. I can only speak for myself but I think most people use social cues all day everyday, just like you do. Like when you said you see people sitting quietly you know that is what is expected of you. That is what I would do too. Not sure if I helped or not. I want to. TJ > " taijij at work " I to be fo just confused of the peoples words and > so trying to find out from the words of what people are of changing > for so far I to see no words on abortions and no more words over > political. maybe the list owner can make of a list of words topics > that are of forbidden of here so can then remember of the rules. > > it is if hard to understand though when words come here to know which > ones are of ones to not respond to when it appears to me one is of > seeking words or asking of things? I to fear if not respond it will > be of rude and or not being of respectful. > > I to also lack why if I to bring of a topic here with the intent of > seeking of a thing the topic can then grow into this huge monster > metaphorically and it was of now my intent nor was it of a thing that > was preplanned as cant understand how sharing of something that > caused of me happy bringed out so much sad tears and wondered why if > was so happy out came sad and that flooded to the abortion words and > things of that. my words were of simply seeking clarity as to what > was of happening to me as felt it so powerfully that it was of > causing me fear of own self. this is of what NTs seem to be of very > good at is if inferring things that from words that are of not there > and cant understand of that processing ways they have but it seems > they can do this rapidly. I to just as I to shared wish one day > clould be to live as a NT to get of a better understand of how they > do things that seem so abstract to me . > > I to be of aware of the term of inferred and things of this from > exposure to it from my childrens IEP's as goals. so I to know it > exists and if I to do this not sure but maybe at times can infer some > things if it is of very clear.Like if I to be of go into a room and > every one is of sitting and quiet can infer of the fact this is of > what i to need to do too. whern I to be of getting ready to speak I > to know my turn is of fast approaching to go up front to speak when I > to see of the person coming to introduce of me to the group as a > promt for me to switch my brain to script mode and prepare of the > brain for that mode, it is of these little things I to use to guide > of me and lets me infer what is of next. I to think I to understand > of this word but maybe it for me is of not the same as a NT person so > wonder how they see or get of visual meaning from words that are of > not there or take of one word and switch the topic completly from > just the one word. > sondra > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 I understand where you are coming from but the email that I wrote was directed to Sondra who asked me a direct question, I am not and will not comment on political or abortion issues. I was having a conversation with Sondra who has autism, issues that some people with autism have it just so happened to be generated off a topic of abortion/political issues. > The big issue that so many are looking at, is this is a forum for > Autism. There have been so many of topic issues that have no business being > aired on here. If this is to be a social network instead of a forum to help > each other on a singular subject, then the name needs to be changed. > Abortions, politics, car problems, and other issues do not help each of us > learn and cope with ourselves or our children. > I understand that sometimes we need to vent, but things get way out of > control on here when people go off subject. > > Becky in GA > > > taijij at work <taijijat@... <taijijat%40gmail.com>> wrote: > Sondra- > It is hard for a lot of people to communicate thru email. Written words > don't have the voice to go with them, so when read can be read in a way > that > can be misunderstood. There are so many times that I read things in my > emails and get angry and want to write back, but I don't because I am not > sure of the intent of the writer. > > As for abortions and political issues, well, people can be very, very, very > one sided on these issues and that is usually when you run into trouble. > When I say you, I mean who ever is talking or writing about those issues, > not you personally. I have decided that I won't get into issues that are > so controversial over the email. This is such a touchy subject that I feel > that I would need to be able to see and hear what the person is saying > rather then read it only. Like I was saying earlier a voice with the words > is easier to understand. I don't mind reading about others opinions and > seeing their views but I don't like it when I read things that sound like > judgments being made by others because of some one's beliefs. I think that > someone might have said something the angered another and then a back and > forth of I am right emails started (I am not sure since I started deleting > most of them, except yours). > > Again, I like to hear what you have to say. You are a very important part > of this group to me. Your posts are wonderful and very thoughtful. > > I can only speak for myself but I think most people use social cues all day > everyday, just like you do. Like when you said you see people sitting > quietly you know that is what is expected of you. That is what I would do > too. > > Not sure if I helped or not. I want to. > > TJ > > On Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 1:18 PM, sondra <hfa2@...<hfa2%40columbus.rr.com>> > wrote: > > > " taijij at work " I to be fo just confused of the peoples words and > > so trying to find out from the words of what people are of changing > > for so far I to see no words on abortions and no more words over > > political. maybe the list owner can make of a list of words topics > > that are of forbidden of here so can then remember of the rules. > > > > it is if hard to understand though when words come here to know which > > ones are of ones to not respond to when it appears to me one is of > > seeking words or asking of things? I to fear if not respond it will > > be of rude and or not being of respectful. > > > > I to also lack why if I to bring of a topic here with the intent of > > seeking of a thing the topic can then grow into this huge monster > > metaphorically and it was of now my intent nor was it of a thing that > > was preplanned as cant understand how sharing of something that > > caused of me happy bringed out so much sad tears and wondered why if > > was so happy out came sad and that flooded to the abortion words and > > things of that. my words were of simply seeking clarity as to what > > was of happening to me as felt it so powerfully that it was of > > causing me fear of own self. this is of what NTs seem to be of very > > good at is if inferring things that from words that are of not there > > and cant understand of that processing ways they have but it seems > > they can do this rapidly. I to just as I to shared wish one day > > clould be to live as a NT to get of a better understand of how they > > do things that seem so abstract to me . > > > > I to be of aware of the term of inferred and things of this from > > exposure to it from my childrens IEP's as goals. so I to know it > > exists and if I to do this not sure but maybe at times can infer some > > things if it is of very clear.Like if I to be of go into a room and > > every one is of sitting and quiet can infer of the fact this is of > > what i to need to do too. whern I to be of getting ready to speak I > > to know my turn is of fast approaching to go up front to speak when I > > to see of the person coming to introduce of me to the group as a > > promt for me to switch my brain to script mode and prepare of the > > brain for that mode, it is of these little things I to use to guide > > of me and lets me infer what is of next. I to think I to understand > > of this word but maybe it for me is of not the same as a NT person so > > wonder how they see or get of visual meaning from words that are of > > not there or take of one word and switch the topic completly from > > just the one word. > > sondra > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 tj you share that you rather hear of the words or have the words face to face as this helps you and I to hear this often and yet for me it does not make a difference if in front of people to hear the words or read the words. i to think the difference is that NT's somehow can read of things that are of hidden to me this is why maybe they prefer to be face to face because of that. Now sometimes can hear a tone in peoples voice that is of different than the usual voice but it does not always register to me a emotional state unless they are of doing strong actions to indicate of maybe anger or tears are on the face. I then can read of that emotion from them but not be of able to understand the core reasons for their emotional state naturally, it can be of a pattern of things that help of me if the person is of very familar. such as my therapist was of a McCain supporter and so if it were not for the list words and such of how some might be of feeling it would be of lost to me that he too might be of sad. so today when I to wen to to see of him for my one to one I to asked of him right away if he was of sad..... he was unsure of my question and repeated it back and then since he indicated he was not sure of my question I to tried again and this time he understood and shared that tuesday and wednesday yes he was sad. but today he has just comed to terms that what is simply is..... not sure exactly the words but similar to this and not sure what it means but it was not important to me, but knowing if he was sad was greatly important to me. this list words were of a trigger for me to know and learn that others might have of different emotional states but to just see of a person and or hear their words it might not indicate of it. I to need to visually see of words to be of more able to manipulate of the words over and over and or in my brain to work through them until they form some sort of visual meaning or they trigger open a file of stored scripts already there. it is of like the computer when one is of searching they use of key words well these key words all tend to get attached to a file and they pattern of the key words then open of my thinking and let of me respond with a mixture of self and rote scripts that were of stored in me. so that is of why i to see of NT people as magical and powerful because the things they share at times seems like magic and or powerful mind reading things. but at the same there are many things of the NT world that are of emotional based things that tome are things i to be of ever so thankful to not have as a natural part of me. some of those are of things I to see and or readed but the so called mental mind games some can play on others, the lies, the sneaking things, the competative tear a person down for self gains, the lack of empathy and or sympathy LOL ( autistics are of constantly accused of not having this) but I to see of it much so in many who are not autistic, but again this is of not so in all people but in much of the majority of society and this is things I to be of happy to not have in me. such as lie things no matter if I to try not to say of the truth by hiding of the words such as the who done it things my brain will blurt out the truth of the things and not know how to hold it back. even if I to try not to fully disclose of things because told not too it still will come out if people use of words in a way to trigger it out of me. this is of a trait of my being that is of in part of just me and a huge part of the lack of theory of mind and in part the need for truth and words or pattern of words to be of correct. I to get so upset really if i to see of pattern of words broken into things that come off as untrues. About issues yes I to use to be of so as they call black and white to thinking but over the last 15 or so years have learned from a college person that if one wants to have a healthy balanced way of learning and expand the over all ideas and thinking of ones mind and so since then have tried and then in 2001 I to began to have this teached and modeled safely from my therapist that one needs to respect and HEAR other views it does not mean one has to change theirs but be open to it because it then allows you to see the issues more clealry and with a healthy balanced way to that same issues. many point out others sins as if they were of themselves God and that they are of sinless.... but Jesus didnot go to the cross with pure helathy saved men he was taken to the cross and hung there with sinners, so if the son of God hung, suffered and dies with sinners by hims side hanging on the cross too and he forgave them for their sins that model should be of the same given to others if we confess of christ as our faith belief. so for that I to try hard to not judge or cast rejective negative things towards anothers sin but try to be of to love of that person as Jesus would expect of me to do to reflect of Christ love to them and for that this is of a core of my words too. I to not be of perfect and do err but that is of because I to be of human in nature and being human in nature means was of born of the sin in this world. I to be of one who cannot judge and cast judgement for in so doing it will reflect of my own sin. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 In a message dated 11/6/2008 3:18:12 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, beckyconti@... writes: Abortions, politics, car problems, and other issues do not help each of us learn and cope with ourselves or our children. I understand that sometimes we need to vent, but things get way out of control on here when people go off subject. actually car problems do affect our girls with autism. as to politics and other things. some people get overly passionate about there opinions perhaps we can tone it down a bit but, many autistic's like to talk about other things sometimes as a distraction or to help them understand the world we live in. so off topic really isn't so off topic lets just play nice and be diplomatic abbys dad **************AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now. (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212792382x1200798498/aol?redir=http://\ searchblog.aol.com/2008/11/04/happy-holidays-from -aol-search/?ncid=emlcntussear00000001) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 so glad you are with this group sondra. eric gutter boy eric thank you for to say of that. some day will come to meet of you and pennY and the other pennie and the Bill from the michigan. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2008 Report Share Posted November 8, 2008 yes to have of a BBq and to play of you guitar and those silly songs. I to never been to detroit areas. I to be of plan to set a week aside this summer and will go to visit in detroit and then go the gray center to meet of my friends there. my friend Christy Gast there who does of all my bookings is of battling cancer and so want of to be with her for some times. she is of too young to be of so sick and has of young children yet and one with autism spectrum disorder. she is of very good to me. Laurel is of a strong faith anchor friend there too. sometimes the gray center gets of together to have of a dinner meeting and so hope to see of carol and her husband when up there too one night. she is of a very good freind person too. Carol is funny and her husband is of very quiet and nice. sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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