Re: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your TIVO

November 20, 2008

Ettina

You should never judge people and assume you know about their

lives.........Gini

To: Autism_in_Girls@...: abnormaldiversity@...: Thu,

20 Nov 2008 15:17:43 +0000Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry

King Live - set your TIVO

>> Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing other people's > thoughts

but comparing autism and sexual abuse is not appropriate > in the LEAST. >

Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to an orange. > And you know why I

know this, because I'm a single mother. My only > child that I will EVER give

birth to has autism. My grandfather > sexually abused my mother and both her

sisters. And guess what, > they are both life altering events that DO NOT belong

in the same > thought process. > > And I do agree there are worse things, I

spent a day at Children's > hospital looking at sick kids dying while on

dialysis waiting for a > kidney. But do you know what the ramifications that are

going to > come from having to find the money to give the services to your >

child/ren that insurance does not pay for, fighting the public > education

system for their entire lives to get the most " free and > appropriate education "

that is supposed to be provided under the > laws of the U.S., the finanical

strain that comes from marriages > breaking up, the guilt and depression of

thinking there's something > I should've done different, making sure others are

educated about > autism so everyone around your child doesn't think he/she

should > act like the guy in the movie " RainMan " so your child doesn't grow > up

feeling ostracized from the world. > How dare you say our lives are

sheltered----because autism and > abuse cannot be compared.............worlds

apart.> I don't understand your comment. Could you explain what's wrong with me

comparing the two? It sounds like you mostly agree with me, but yet apparently

you don't. I don't get it.Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment, I was

referring to people like McCarthy - rich people who've never had anything

serious not go their way until their child turned out autistic, and like to play

the victim about it.Ettina

_________________________________________________________________

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November 20, 2008

In a message dated 11/19/2008 11:38:53 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

abnormaldiversity@... writes:

autism is the worst thing or one of the worst

things that can happen must have pretty sheltered lives. Even if you

agree that autism is a bad thing, surely it's better than abuse or many

other things.

Ettina

autism can cause troble for our kids but you are right there are much worse

things out there...

eric abbys dad

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

November 20, 2008

I don't think Ettina was judging people & assuming she KNOWS about other

people's lives. Being on the spectrum usually makes it hard for them to

understand the different nuances. I think she was writing what she

thought. I think her point was that there are worse things than having

autism. Maybe from her perspective, autism isn't so bad. For those people

who are functional enough to even be able to converse/communicate via email,

they have come a long way. My daughter is not going to be at that level;

not everyone recovers or gets well enough to live a functional life. Even

then, how many adults on the spectrum are successful enough to live a happy

& independent life? How many are able to even hold jobs? How many have

friends? Let's be a little more forgiving for those on the spectrum. I can

empathize b/c I tend to be more black & white, more so than a lot of NT's.

I appreciate the comments made from the adults on the spectrum b/c it shows

their thinking processes & gives me their perspective. Yes, sometimes it

comes across strong, sometimes it's misunderstood by the parents, but

overall I think it's helpful.

Ettina & other adults on the spectrum, I am not trying to put words in your

mouths if my post gets misconstrued (as all written posts has the

potential).

Marie

On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 9:29 AM, Virginia Fryman wrote:

>

> Ettina

> You should never judge people and assume you know about their

> lives.........Gini

>

> To: Autism_in_Girls@...: abnormaldiversity@...:

> Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:17:43 +0000Subject: Re: McCarthy

> on Larry King Live - set your TIVO

>

> >> Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing other people's >

> thoughts but comparing autism and sexual abuse is not appropriate > in the

> LEAST. > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to an orange. > And

> you know why I know this, because I'm a single mother. My only > child that

> I will EVER give birth to has autism. My grandfather > sexually abused my

> mother and both her sisters. And guess what, > they are both life altering

> events that DO NOT belong in the same > thought process. > > And I do agree

> there are worse things, I spent a day at Children's > hospital looking at

> sick kids dying while on dialysis waiting for a > kidney. But do you know

> what the ramifications that are going to > come from having to find the

> money to give the services to your > child/ren that insurance does not pay

> for, fighting the public > education system for their entire lives to get

> the most " free and > appropriate education " that is supposed to be provided

> under the > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that comes from marriages

> > breaking up, the guilt and depression of thinking there's something > I

> should've done different, making sure others are educated about > autism so

> everyone around your child doesn't think he/she should > act like the guy in

> the movie " RainMan " so your child doesn't grow > up feeling ostracized from

> the world. > How dare you say our lives are sheltered----because autism and

> > abuse cannot be compared.............worlds apart.> I don't understand

> your comment. Could you explain what's wrong with me comparing the two? It

> sounds like you mostly agree with me, but yet apparently you don't. I don't

> get it.Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment, I was referring to people

> like McCarthy - rich people who've never had anything serious not go

> their way until their child turned out autistic, and like to play the victim

> about it.Ettina

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Proud to be a PC? Show the world. Download the " I'm a PC " Messenger

> themepack now.

> hthttp://clk.atdmt.com/MRT/go/119642558/direct/01/

>

November 20, 2008

Well said.

> I don't think Ettina was judging people & assuming she KNOWS about other

> people's lives. Being on the spectrum usually makes it hard for them to

> understand the different nuances. I think she was writing what she

> thought. I think her point was that there are worse things than having

> autism. Maybe from her perspective, autism isn't so bad. For those people

> who are functional enough to even be able to converse/communicate via

> email,

> they have come a long way. My daughter is not going to be at that level;

> not everyone recovers or gets well enough to live a functional life. Even

> then, how many adults on the spectrum are successful enough to live a happy

> & independent life? How many are able to even hold jobs? How many have

> friends? Let's be a little more forgiving for those on the spectrum. I can

> empathize b/c I tend to be more black & white, more so than a lot of NT's.

> I appreciate the comments made from the adults on the spectrum b/c it shows

> their thinking processes & gives me their perspective. Yes, sometimes it

> comes across strong, sometimes it's misunderstood by the parents, but

> overall I think it's helpful.

>

> Ettina & other adults on the spectrum, I am not trying to put words in your

> mouths if my post gets misconstrued (as all written posts has the

> potential).

>

> Marie

>

> On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 9:29 AM, Virginia Fryman

<g_frygirl13@...<g_frygirl13%40hotmail.com>

> >wrote:

>

> >

> > Ettina

> > You should never judge people and assume you know about their

> > lives.........Gini

> >

> > To:

Autism_in_Girls@...<Autism_in_Girls%40yahoogroups.comFrom>:

> abnormaldiversity@... <abnormaldiversity%40yahoo.comDate>:

> > Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:17:43 +0000Subject: Re:

> McCarthy

> > on Larry King Live - set your TIVO

> >

> > >> Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing other people's >

> > thoughts but comparing autism and sexual abuse is not appropriate > in

> the

> > LEAST. > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to an orange. > And

> > you know why I know this, because I'm a single mother. My only > child

> that

> > I will EVER give birth to has autism. My grandfather > sexually abused my

> > mother and both her sisters. And guess what, > they are both life

> altering

> > events that DO NOT belong in the same > thought process. > > And I do

> agree

> > there are worse things, I spent a day at Children's > hospital looking at

> > sick kids dying while on dialysis waiting for a > kidney. But do you know

> > what the ramifications that are going to > come from having to find the

> > money to give the services to your > child/ren that insurance does not

> pay

> > for, fighting the public > education system for their entire lives to get

> > the most " free and > appropriate education " that is supposed to be

> provided

> > under the > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that comes from

> marriages

> > > breaking up, the guilt and depression of thinking there's something > I

> > should've done different, making sure others are educated about > autism

> so

> > everyone around your child doesn't think he/she should > act like the guy

> in

> > the movie " RainMan " so your child doesn't grow > up feeling ostracized

> from

> > the world. > How dare you say our lives are sheltered----because autism

> and

> > > abuse cannot be compared.............worlds apart.> I don't understand

> > your comment. Could you explain what's wrong with me comparing the two?

> It

> > sounds like you mostly agree with me, but yet apparently you don't. I

> don't

> > get it.Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment, I was referring to people

> > like McCarthy - rich people who've never had anything serious not

> go

> > their way until their child turned out autistic, and like to play the

> victim

> > about it.Ettina

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Proud to be a PC? Show the world. Download the " I'm a PC " Messenger

> > themepack now.

> > hthttp://clk.atdmt.com/MRT/go/119642558/direct/01/

> >

November 20, 2008

Yeah. Autism and abuse ARE worlds apart.

Any remotely rational person will fear abuse far more. Ettina and are are both

fully qualified to say that, being autistic and having been abused.

If autism is a parent's worst fear, they're paying attention to the wrong

people. I agree with Ettina 100% on this.

Kassiane

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 8:33 AM

> Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing other

> people's thoughts

> but comparing autism and sexual abuse is not appropriate in

> the LEAST.

> Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to an orange.

> And you know why I know this, because I'm a single

> mother. My only

> child that I will EVER give birth to has autism. My

> grandfather

> sexually abused my mother and both her sisters. And guess

> what, they

> are both life altering events that DO NOT belong in the

> same thought

> process.

>

> And I do agree there are worse things, I spent a day at

> Children's

> hospital looking at sick kids dying while on dialysis

> waiting for a

> kidney. But do you know what the ramifications that are

> going to come

> from having to find the money to give the services to your

> child/ren

> that insurance does not pay for, fighting the public

> education system

> for their entire lives to get the most " free and

> appropriate education "

> that is supposed to be provided under the laws of the U.S.,

> the

> finanical strain that comes from marriages breaking up, the

> guilt and

> depression of thinking there's something I

> should've done different,

> making sure others are educated about autism so everyone

> around your

> child doesn't think he/she should act like the guy in

> the

> movie " RainMan " so your child doesn't grow up

> feeling ostracized from

> the world.

> How dare you say our lives are sheltered----because autism

> and abuse

> cannot be compared.............worlds apart.

>

> >

> > " Is it any wonder that autism has become many new

> parents' No. 1

> fear? "

> >

> > Yes, at least to me.

> > I was sexually abused in early childhood by my foster

> siblings. My

> > parents found out that their precious daughter had

> been badly hurt

> > emotionally by two children they loved and wanted to

> help. It seems

> to

> > me that those who think autism is the worst thing or

> one of the worst

> > things that can happen must have pretty sheltered

> lives. Even if you

> > agree that autism is a bad thing, surely it's

> better than abuse or

> many

> > other things.

> > Ettina

> >

November 20, 2008

Only fear doesnt equal worst fear.

But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi, we're used to it.

Go ahead.

Also, tell we exist, since you're pals. Thanks.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 3:18 PM

> Yeah, how stupid of a parent fearing their infant screaming

> 24/7 the

> first 2-3 years of their child's life. How stupid of a

> parent for

> fearing watching their child scream in pain and have

> explosive

> diarrhea that no health care provider will deal with. How

> stupid of a

> parent to fear their child never being able to communicate

> so that

> they can make sure no one is harming them. How stupid of a

> parent to

> fear their child will have seizures and be on crappy meds

> their entire

> lives. How crazy down the road has hated her kid

> slamming his

> skull until it broke 3 times and he wasn't even 3 yet.

> How crazy the

> parent on the other side of the nation fears her teenage

> son suddenly

> having an uncontrollable urge to pull out his permanent

> teeth or Bev

> fearing her daughter will always require diaper changes.

>

> Yeah, it's crazy that parents would fear autism.

>

> So what if something is worse, it doesn't dismiss it.

> That's like

> saying I shouldn't have grieved my dad dying, after

> all, it could have

> been my dad AND my mom. We cannot avoid human emotion based

> on some

> mysterious list of " worse thans. "

>

> Debi

>

> -

November 20, 2008

Nope.

She met y'alls hero Bernard Rimland's kid Mark (who had gastro issues, and is

significantly older than me).

McCarthy is a malignant liar preying on desperate parents' hope to make a

buck and stay in the public eye. This is nothing but WILLFUL MANIPULATIVE

DECEPTION.

It's disgusting, and frankly parents should be more pissed about it than

autistics are BECAUSE she is preying on you guys far more than on us. She's just

willingly lying when she says we don't exist, just like everyone else does.

Kassiane

why yes, throwing up 15 times in 12 hours makes me irritable but I feel this way

ANYWAY

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 4:33 PM

> If there's ONE THING that I know CLEARLY now, it's

> that Kassi's and

> Ettina's definition of " autism " is

> drastically different from the

> definition that Debi and many parents of children w/ autism

> are using.

>

> Kassi, would it be a stretch to say that when

> McCarthy says she

> hasn't met adults with autism (and we know she has),

> could she *mean*

> ADULTS WITH all the stuff Debi listed and that McCarthy

> doesn't mean

> adults like you, because she'd not defining autism the

> same way you are?

>

> PennY

>

> >

> > Only fear doesnt equal worst fear.

> >

> > But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi, we're used

> to it.

> >

> > Go ahead.

> >

> > Also, tell we exist, since you're pals.

> Thanks.

November 20, 2008

Grow up yourself.

A lot of parents DO refuse to get out of hte " WAAAY PITY ME MY KID IS BROKEN! "

thing. It's fact. Get over yourself. HAving an autistic kid doesn't make you a

saint.

Ever been sexually abused? No? I was. A lot. Therapy is overrated. It doesn't

work. I'll take autism over abuse any day. STOP MINIMIZING IT YOU HORRRIBLE

TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

Yes, I fully mean that anyone who minimizes sexual abuse of children is nothing

but a terrible person. Get out of my advocacy movement. I fully mean that and

would say it to your face.

Kassiane

autistic, abuse survivor, and sick of walking on eggshells for the self anointed

saints

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 5:51 PM

> Ettina,

>

> First of all, just because Mccarthy has money

> doesn't make her

> sheltered from the effects of autism. Secondly, I don't

> mostly agree

> with you. I do NOT agree with you at all. Sexual abuse can

> be helped

> through therapy. Depending on the severity of autism some

> of these

> children may NEVER be able to live independent lives.

> I've never met

> a victim of sexual abuse that could not form sentence, or

> have

> problems expressing their wants and/or needs, banged their

> head

> against the wall, chewed their skin off etc.......

>

> The is no commonality between the two, period.

>

> And for the girl who referred to Debi as a

> " martyr " and said she's

> used to hearing as such......grow up!

>

> No one but Debi herself has walked in Debi shoes, therefore

>

> condescending her is not justified in the slightest

> whatsoever.

>

> And before anybody starts bashing Mccarthy about her

> experience

> with autism, try reading her books first. Look at the work

> she does

> to promote things such as Generation Rescue. So what if

> she's a

> terrible actress!!! She brings attention to a matter that

> is

> RIDICOUSLY UNDERFUNDED, and alot of people are ill-informed

> about.

>

> > >

> > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing

> other people's

> > > thoughts but comparing autism and sexual abuse is

> not appropriate

> > > in the LEAST.

> > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to

> an orange.

> > > And you know why I know this, because I'm a

> single mother. My

> only

> > > child that I will EVER give birth to has autism.

> My grandfather

> > > sexually abused my mother and both her sisters.

> And guess what,

> > > they are both life altering events that DO NOT

> belong in the same

> > > thought process.

> > >

> > > And I do agree there are worse things, I spent a

> day at

> Children's

> > > hospital looking at sick kids dying while on

> dialysis waiting for

> a

> > > kidney. But do you know what the ramifications

> that are going to

> > > come from having to find the money to give the

> services to your

> > > child/ren that insurance does not pay for,

> fighting the public

> > > education system for their entire lives to get

> the most " free and

> > > appropriate education " that is supposed to

> be provided under the

> > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that comes

> from marriages

> > > breaking up, the guilt and depression of thinking

> there's

> something

> > > I should've done different, making sure

> others are educated about

> > > autism so everyone around your child doesn't

> think he/she should

> > > act like the guy in the movie " RainMan "

> so your child doesn't

> grow

> > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > How dare you say our lives are

> sheltered----because autism and

> > > abuse cannot be compared.............worlds

> apart.

> > >

> > I don't understand your comment. Could you explain

> what's wrong

> with

> > me comparing the two? It sounds like you mostly agree

> with me, but

> > yet apparently you don't. I don't get it.

> > Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment, I was

> referring to people

> > like McCarthy - rich people who've never had

> anything serious

> > not go their way until their child turned out

> autistic, and like to

> > play the victim about it.

> > Ettina

> >

November 20, 2008

She lied.

She wants nothing to do with autistics advocating for themselves. She is a lying

attention whore.

And yes, Debi, you are still stuck in self pity, which is a shame because Allie

is a wonderful girl.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 6:04 PM

> I'm not 's pal. I probably have spent all of 1

> minute talking

> face-to-face, which was to ask for her help in fundraising

> for an

> autism center here, to which she graciously declined. She

> stated that

> she would love to help any autism cause but she's only

> one person.

>

> I'm not playing a martyr. I have nothing to play

> pitiful about, I have

> a wonderful life. Instead of discussing the issue you

> choose to call

> names and use emotional language to take away from the lack

> of substance.

>

> Debi

>

> >

> > Only fear doesnt equal worst fear.

> >

> > But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi, we're used

> to it.

> >

> > Go ahead.

> >

> > Also, tell we exist, since you're pals.

> Thanks.

> >

November 20, 2008

Kassi, I get IT, that you hate McCarthy & that you believe she says

you don't exist, but I know you & other adults on the spectrum exist.

Repeating over & over that says adults with autism don't exist....I

know that already & saying it repeatedly doesn't add any more depth to what

you write about her, okay?

Sorry you're not feeling well & sorry you & many of the people on the

spectrum have been abused; that shouldn't have to happen to ANYONE!

Marie

> Nope.

>

> She met y'alls hero Bernard Rimland's kid Mark (who had gastro issues, and

> is significantly older than me).

>

> McCarthy is a malignant liar preying on desperate parents' hope to

> make a buck and stay in the public eye. This is nothing but WILLFUL

> MANIPULATIVE DECEPTION.

>

> It's disgusting, and frankly parents should be more pissed about it than

> autistics are BECAUSE she is preying on you guys far more than on us. She's

> just willingly lying when she says we don't exist, just like everyone else

> does.

>

> Kassiane

> why yes, throwing up 15 times in 12 hours makes me irritable but I feel

> this way ANYWAY

>

> >

> > Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set

> your TIVO

> > To: Autism_in_Girls

> > Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 4:33 PM

> > If there's ONE THING that I know CLEARLY now, it's

> > that Kassi's and

> > Ettina's definition of " autism " is

> > drastically different from the

> > definition that Debi and many parents of children w/ autism

> > are using.

> >

> > Kassi, would it be a stretch to say that when

> > McCarthy says she

> > hasn't met adults with autism (and we know she has),

> > could she *mean*

> > ADULTS WITH all the stuff Debi listed and that McCarthy

> > doesn't mean

> > adults like you, because she'd not defining autism the

> > same way you are?

> >

> > PennY

> >

> > >

> > > Only fear doesnt equal worst fear.

> > >

> > > But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi, we're used

> > to it.

> > >

> > > Go ahead.

> > >

> > > Also, tell we exist, since you're pals.

> > Thanks.

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> ------------------------

> Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

--

Marie A.

November 20, 2008

Im mentally fine. How dare you play e-shrink?

I've got every right to be angry, furious even, that people are indicating that

abuse is preferable to autism. That's disgusting to the point of there not being

WORDS for it. Get over yourself, Debi. Get. OVER. Yourself.

Seriously. As a whole, autism moms need reality checks.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 6:58 PM

> Uh, yes, in fact I was sexually abused. Counseling 3 times

> by

> adulthood. I finally faced my attacker while he was in

> prison for

> attacking another little girl. I didn't have some

> repressed episode, I

> always knew it. I guess good in a way that there was no one

> to doubt

> me, but then, I never told anyone. I apologize if that

> makes you feel

> I'm victimizing myself, clearly you are unable at this

> point to

> comprehend reality.

>

> I think you are having a psychotic episode, Kassi. I know

> you have

> lots of mental health problems and various diagnoses. I am

> trying to

> overlook your profoundly offensive attitude; I know you

> likely cannot

> help it. Perhaps you are off your meds or think you do not

> need them.

> If I could, I would call your psychiatrist for you to try

> and help

> you. I am so very, very sorry you are experiencing such a

> horrible

> episode. It must feel very, very bad to be so out of

> control.

>

> Have you thought about checking yourself in somewhere until

> you can

> recover yourself?

>

> Debi

>

> >

> > Grow up yourself.

> >

> > A lot of parents DO refuse to get out of hte

> " WAAAY PITY ME MY KID

> IS BROKEN! " thing. It's fact. Get over yourself.

> HAving an autistic

> kid doesn't make you a saint.

> >

> > Ever been sexually abused? No? I was. A lot. Therapy

> is overrated.

> It doesn't work. I'll take autism over abuse any

> day. STOP MINIMIZING

> IT YOU HORRRIBLE TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

> >

> > Yes, I fully mean that anyone who minimizes sexual

> abuse of children

> is nothing but a terrible person. Get out of my advocacy

> movement. I

> fully mean that and would say it to your face.

> >

> > Kassiane

> > autistic, abuse survivor, and sick of walking on

> eggshells for the

> self anointed saints

November 20, 2008

It has nothing to do with " believing " she says we don't exist.

She says it over and over and over. And she's making money off desperate

parents. And YOUR kids are going to suffer for it. I don't know her enough to

hate her, but I think she's a vulture. I guess people would rather be preyed on

than accept that their kids are different.

The intentional denseness of people is revolting.

> >

> > >

> > > Subject: Re: McCarthy on

> Larry King Live - set

> > your TIVO

> > > To: Autism_in_Girls

> > > Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 4:33 PM

> > > If there's ONE THING that I know CLEARLY

> now, it's

> > > that Kassi's and

> > > Ettina's definition of " autism " is

> > > drastically different from the

> > > definition that Debi and many parents of children

> w/ autism

> > > are using.

> > >

> > > Kassi, would it be a stretch to say that when

>

> > > McCarthy says she

> > > hasn't met adults with autism (and we know

> she has),

> > > could she *mean*

> > > ADULTS WITH all the stuff Debi listed and that

> McCarthy

> > > doesn't mean

> > > adults like you, because she'd not defining

> autism the

> > > same way you are?

> > >

> > > PennY

> > >

> > > >

> > > > Only fear doesnt equal worst fear.

> > > >

> > > > But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi,

> we're used

> > > to it.

> > > >

> > > > Go ahead.

> > > >

> > > > Also, tell we exist, since you're

> pals.

> > > Thanks.

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> > ------------------------

> > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe@...!

> Groups Links

> >

>

> --

> Marie A.

>

November 20, 2008

And Kassi since you feel it ok to say all moms of kids with Autism need a

reality check. Would it then be OK for me to say to those adults with Autism

that they need to stop thinking the world owes them favor and grace because they

are Autistic?

Â

No I dont think so. Not every mom has the same idea's but they are our idea's

and opinions and as such as we are entitled to them. Just as you are entitled to

feel however you wish. Just a shame it always seem you opt to feel angry and let

down by everyone.

I hope my own daughter grows up to feel nothing but proud of herself and her

achievements. Autism is second to who she is. First and foremost she is a much

loved daughter and sister.

Â

> From: Debi <fightingautism@ yahoo.com>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 6:58 PM

> Uh, yes, in fact I was sexually abused. Counseling 3 times

> by

> adulthood. I finally faced my attacker while he was in

> prison for

> attacking another little girl. I didn't have some

> repressed episode, I

> always knew it. I guess good in a way that there was no one

> to doubt

> me, but then, I never told anyone. I apologize if that

> makes you feel

> I'm victimizing myself, clearly you are unable at this

> point to

> comprehend reality.

>

> I think you are having a psychotic episode, Kassi. I know

> you have

> lots of mental health problems and various diagnoses. I am

> trying to

> overlook your profoundly offensive attitude; I know you

> likely cannot

> help it. Perhaps you are off your meds or think you do not

> need them.

> If I could, I would call your psychiatrist for you to try

> and help

> you. I am so very, very sorry you are experiencing such a

> horrible

> episode. It must feel very, very bad to be so out of

> control.

>

> Have you thought about checking yourself in somewhere until

> you can

> recover yourself?

>

> Debi

>

> >

> > Grow up yourself.

> >

> > A lot of parents DO refuse to get out of hte

> " WAAAY PITY ME MY KID

> IS BROKEN! " thing. It's fact. Get over yourself.

> HAving an autistic

> kid doesn't make you a saint.

> >

> > Ever been sexually abused? No? I was. A lot. Therapy

> is overrated.

> It doesn't work. I'll take autism over abuse any

> day. STOP MINIMIZING

> IT YOU HORRRIBLE TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

> >

> > Yes, I fully mean that anyone who minimizes sexual

> abuse of children

> is nothing but a terrible person. Get out of my advocacy

> movement. I

> fully mean that and would say it to your face.

> >

> > Kassiane

> > autistic, abuse survivor, and sick of walking on

> eggshells for the

> self anointed saints

Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email. Get Yahoo!7 Mail!

http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail

November 20, 2008

Kassi

Â

This is something I would say to your face. Get over your own damn pity party

you self righeous little cow.

Â

Your not the only SURVIVOR of sexual abuse on this list. How dare you think that

as parents with a child with Autism we declare ourselves Saints. No one here has

even hinted at it. Every day we get out of bed and try to make each day better

for our WHOLE family not just our child with Autism.

Â

Councelling and therapy may not of worked for you and believe me its definately

showing. But you know what for others it may of helped but it never ever takes

away the memories of abuse or the pain. This is something we will all live for

the rest of our lives. Memories that will haunt us forever. And guess what

because I too survived sexual abuse that last for 8 years does not make me a

Saint but it sure doesnt make me an expert on how others deal with pain either.

I can only relate to what it done to me and my life.

Â

You really need to step back and realise that what happened to you sucked big

time and it was bad, awful and soul destroying YOU continue to let yourself be a

victim of sexual abuse, Me I am a SURVIVOR of sexual abuse. Maybe its time you

found some professional help to help you work out the difference.

Â

in Aus

> From: candaceallday <candaceallday@ elmore.rr. com>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 5:51 PM

> Ettina,

>

> First of all, just because Mccarthy has money

> doesn't make her

> sheltered from the effects of autism. Secondly, I don't

> mostly agree

> with you. I do NOT agree with you at all. Sexual abuse can

> be helped

> through therapy. Depending on the severity of autism some

> of these

> children may NEVER be able to live independent lives.

> I've never met

> a victim of sexual abuse that could not form sentence, or

> have

> problems expressing their wants and/or needs, banged their

> head

> against the wall, chewed their skin off etc.......

>

> The is no commonality between the two, period.

>

> And for the girl who referred to Debi as a

> " martyr " and said she's

> used to hearing as such......grow up!

>

> No one but Debi herself has walked in Debi shoes, therefore

>

> condescending her is not justified in the slightest

> whatsoever.

>

> And before anybody starts bashing Mccarthy about her

> experience

> with autism, try reading her books first. Look at the work

> she does

> to promote things such as Generation Rescue. So what if

> she's a

> terrible actress!!! She brings attention to a matter that

> is

> RIDICOUSLY UNDERFUNDED, and alot of people are ill-informed

> about.

>

> > >

> > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not into bashing

> other people's

> > > thoughts but comparing autism and sexual abuse is

> not appropriate

> > > in the LEAST.

> > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple to

> an orange.

> > > And you know why I know this, because I'm a

> single mother. My

> only

> > > child that I will EVER give birth to has autism.

> My grandfather

> > > sexually abused my mother and both her sisters.

> And guess what,

> > > they are both life altering events that DO NOT

> belong in the same

> > > thought process.

> > >

> > > And I do agree there are worse things, I spent a

> day at

> Children's

> > > hospital looking at sick kids dying while on

> dialysis waiting for

> a

> > > kidney. But do you know what the ramifications

> that are going to

> > > come from having to find the money to give the

> services to your

> > > child/ren that insurance does not pay for,

> fighting the public

> > > education system for their entire lives to get

> the most " free and

> > > appropriate education " that is supposed to

> be provided under the

> > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that comes

> from marriages

> > > breaking up, the guilt and depression of thinking

> there's

> something

> > > I should've done different, making sure

> others are educated about

> > > autism so everyone around your child doesn't

> think he/she should

> > > act like the guy in the movie " RainMan "

> so your child doesn't

> grow

> > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > How dare you say our lives are

> sheltered--- -because autism and

> > > abuse cannot be compared.... ......... worlds

> apart.

> > >

> > I don't understand your comment. Could you explain

> what's wrong

> with

> > me comparing the two? It sounds like you mostly agree

> with me, but

> > yet apparently you don't. I don't get it.

> > Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment, I was

> referring to people

> > like McCarthy - rich people who've never had

> anything serious

> > not go their way until their child turned out

> autistic, and like to

> > play the victim about it.

> > Ettina

> >

Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email. Get Yahoo!7 Mail!

http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail

November 20, 2008

How McCarthy making money off of us? All she is advocating is diet and a

new vaccine schedule. We started Hallie on fish oil and we are adding in enzymes

and we have noticed a huge difference. I want my daughter to be happy and not

have to struggle through life.......does that make me a bad parent?

To: Autism_in_Girls@...: kassihatestwistin@...: Thu,

20 Nov 2008 17:10:54 -0800Subject: Re: Re: McCarthy on

Larry King Live - set your TIVO

It has nothing to do with " believing " she says we don't exist.She says it over

and over and over. And she's making money off desperate parents. And YOUR kids

are going to suffer for it. I don't know her enough to hate her, but I think

she's a vulture. I guess people would rather be preyed on than accept that their

kids are different.The intentional denseness of people is revolting.> >> > > From: penelope_fam

> > > Subject: Re: McCarthy on>

Larry King Live - set> > your TIVO> > > To: Autism_in_Girls > > >

Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 4:33 PM> > > If there's ONE THING that I know

CLEARLY> now, it's> > > that Kassi's and> > > Ettina's definition of " autism "

is> > > drastically different from the> > > definition that Debi and many

parents of children> w/ autism> > > are using.> > >> > > Kassi, would it be a

stretch to say that when> > > > McCarthy says she> > > hasn't met adults

with autism (and we know> she has),> > > could she *mean*> > > ADULTS WITH all

the stuff Debi listed and that> McCarthy> > > doesn't mean> > > adults like you,

because she'd not defining> autism the> > > same way you are?> > >> > > PennY> >

>> > >> > > > > > >> > > > Only fear doesnt equal worst

fear.> > > >> > > > But go ahead and play the martyr, Debi,> we're used> > > to

it.> > > >> > > > Go ahead.> > > >> > > > Also, tell we exist, since

you're> pals.> > > Thanks.> >> >> >> >> > ------------------------------------>

>> > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > ------------------------> >

Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe@...!> Groups Links> >> >> >> >> > >

-- > Marie A.> > >

November 20, 2008

Can we please kill the flaming party here, and discuss things in a

calm, rational manner?

November 20, 2008

I do believe that I was speaking to the entire list. Just to rephrase,

please CHILL IT, everyone....

> Get some mood stabilizers, anxiolytics, just chill out because you

> sound unbalanced and unstable.

November 20, 2008

Learn to read.

I've been through the therapy. I've had to have reconstructions on my hips and

girly bits. Aren't you glad to know that? No? TOO BAD. Selfish cow yourself.

Reality check: THAT is more to fear happening to your child than ANY

developmental disability. So are many other things, things that kill and maim.

And if you can't see that, then I'm really sorry for your kids.

>

> > From: candaceallday <candaceallday@ elmore.rr.

> com>

> > Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry

> King Live - set your TIVO

> > To: Autism_in_Girls@ yahoogroups. com

> > Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 5:51 PM

> > Ettina,

> >

> > First of all, just because Mccarthy has money

> > doesn't make her

> > sheltered from the effects of autism. Secondly, I

> don't

> > mostly agree

> > with you. I do NOT agree with you at all. Sexual abuse

> can

> > be helped

> > through therapy. Depending on the severity of autism

> some

> > of these

> > children may NEVER be able to live independent lives.

> > I've never met

> > a victim of sexual abuse that could not form sentence,

> or

> > have

> > problems expressing their wants and/or needs, banged

> their

> > head

> > against the wall, chewed their skin off etc.......

> >

> > The is no commonality between the two, period.

> >

> > And for the girl who referred to Debi as a

> > " martyr " and said she's

> > used to hearing as such......grow up!

> >

> > No one but Debi herself has walked in Debi shoes,

> therefore

> >

> > condescending her is not justified in the slightest

> > whatsoever.

> >

> > And before anybody starts bashing Mccarthy about

> her

> > experience

> > with autism, try reading her books first. Look at the

> work

> > she does

> > to promote things such as Generation Rescue. So what

> if

> > she's a

> > terrible actress!!! She brings attention to a matter

> that

> > is

> > RIDICOUSLY UNDERFUNDED, and alot of people are

> ill-informed

> > about.

> >

> > > >

> > > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not into

> bashing

> > other people's

> > > > thoughts but comparing autism and sexual

> abuse is

> > not appropriate

> > > > in the LEAST.

> > > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple

> to

> > an orange.

> > > > And you know why I know this, because

> I'm a

> > single mother. My

> > only

> > > > child that I will EVER give birth to has

> autism.

> > My grandfather

> > > > sexually abused my mother and both her

> sisters.

> > And guess what,

> > > > they are both life altering events that DO

> NOT

> > belong in the same

> > > > thought process.

> > > >

> > > > And I do agree there are worse things, I

> spent a

> > day at

> > Children's

> > > > hospital looking at sick kids dying while on

> > dialysis waiting for

> > a

> > > > kidney. But do you know what the

> ramifications

> > that are going to

> > > > come from having to find the money to give

> the

> > services to your

> > > > child/ren that insurance does not pay for,

> > fighting the public

> > > > education system for their entire lives to

> get

> > the most " free and

> > > > appropriate education " that is supposed

> to

> > be provided under the

> > > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that

> comes

> > from marriages

> > > > breaking up, the guilt and depression of

> thinking

> > there's

> > something

> > > > I should've done different, making sure

> > others are educated about

> > > > autism so everyone around your child

> doesn't

> > think he/she should

> > > > act like the guy in the movie

> " RainMan "

> > so your child doesn't

> > grow

> > > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > > How dare you say our lives are

> > sheltered--- -because autism and

> > > > abuse cannot be compared.... .........

> worlds

> > apart.

> > > >

> > > I don't understand your comment. Could you

> explain

> > what's wrong

> > with

> > > me comparing the two? It sounds like you mostly

> agree

> > with me, but

> > > yet apparently you don't. I don't get it.

> > > Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment,

> I was

> > referring to people

> > > like McCarthy - rich people who've

> never had

> > anything serious

> > > not go their way until their child turned out

> > autistic, and like to

> > > play the victim about it.

> > > Ettina

> > >

>

> Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email.

> Get Yahoo!7 Mail! http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail

>

November 20, 2008

STOP PLAYING ESHRINK.

This whole conversation started with comparing the 2.

Don't dare guess what is going on inside my head. It's completely unacceptable.

Socially inappropriate even. LOLIRONY. I can't show anger, but you can insult

people THROWING AROUND PSYCH TERMS LIKE PEJORATIVES.

I hope no one treats your daughters the way y'all REGULARLY treat adult autistic

women on this list. But they will, and when you lament why, you'll have to look

in the collective mirror at the precident you set.

Autism parents: want nothing more than to get their autistic kids to speak and

to get autistic adults to shut up. Ironic.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 7:53 PM

> Kassi, no one is minimizing sexual abuse. My kid is FAR FROM

> BROKEN,

> and until I cease to BREATHE she will recieve the best

> possible care,

> I don't care what the financial, emotional or physical

> cost is. But

> she is NOT nor will she ever be broken; nor will I ever

> profess to be

> a saint.

>

> Get some mood stabilizers, anxiolytics, just chill out

> because you

> sound unbalanced and unstable.

>

> > > > >

> > > > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not

> into bashing

> > > other people's

> > > > > thoughts but comparing autism and

> sexual abuse is

> > > not appropriate

> > > > > in the LEAST.

> > > > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an

> apple to

> > > an orange.

> > > > > And you know why I know this, because

> I'm a

> > > single mother. My

> > > only

> > > > > child that I will EVER give birth to

> has autism.

> > > My grandfather

> > > > > sexually abused my mother and both her

> sisters.

> > > And guess what,

> > > > > they are both life altering events that

> DO NOT

> > > belong in the same

> > > > > thought process.

> > > > >

> > > > > And I do agree there are worse things,

> I spent a

> > > day at

> > > Children's

> > > > > hospital looking at sick kids dying

> while on

> > > dialysis waiting for

> > > a

> > > > > kidney. But do you know what the

> ramifications

> > > that are going to

> > > > > come from having to find the money to

> give the

> > > services to your

> > > > > child/ren that insurance does not pay

> for,

> > > fighting the public

> > > > > education system for their entire lives

> to get

> > > the most " free and

> > > > > appropriate education " that is

> supposed to

> > > be provided under the

> > > > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain

> that comes

> > > from marriages

> > > > > breaking up, the guilt and depression

> of thinking

> > > there's

> > > something

> > > > > I should've done different, making

> sure

> > > others are educated about

> > > > > autism so everyone around your child

> doesn't

> > > think he/she should

> > > > > act like the guy in the movie

> " RainMan "

> > > so your child doesn't

> > > grow

> > > > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > > > How dare you say our lives are

> > > sheltered----because autism and

> > > > > abuse cannot be

> compared.............worlds

> > > apart.

> > > > >

> > > > I don't understand your comment. Could

> you explain

> > > what's wrong

> > > with

> > > > me comparing the two? It sounds like you

> mostly agree

> > > with me, but

> > > > yet apparently you don't. I don't

> get it.

> > > > Regarding the 'sheltered lives'

> comment, I was

> > > referring to people

> > > > like McCarthy - rich people who've

> never had

> > > anything serious

> > > > not go their way until their child turned

> out

> > > autistic, and like to

> > > > play the victim about it.

> > > > Ettina

> > > >

> >

November 20, 2008

You aren't getting it.

Being reffered to as broken and non existent for years will make someone, in

fact, lose their temper.

Yep, I guess I am really mean. That's what years of marginalization and living

in the cracks will do to a person. I should get a button that says " teh meanie

eebil ND *but at least I use the word properly* " and wear it.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 10:58 PM

> Reality check: you still are not getting it. " Worst

> fear " is an

> expression, it's not quantitative, it's expressive.

> " I nearly died "

> after being scared is a good example. " I feel like

> dying " after being

> embarassed is another example. None of these are literal,

> they are

> expressive. " You're killing me " when someone

> is tickling me, as an

> example. Very few people TRULY mean any of these, they are

> figurative

> expressions. I want to die " after failing a test. I

> don't truly want

> to die, but I felt really bad, it's an expression.

>

> There is no definitive list out there of " worse

> thans " that we all

> appeal to before using the term. It's a way of coloring

> speech.

>

> Now, you can either think about it and accept it as a form

> of language

> you comprehend or deny it as something you do not

> comprehend. Either

> way is perfectly acceptible. But if you come on here making

> a bunch of

> snide remarks about how we all suck as parents/people, you

> are not

> dealing with this new information in a way that you should

> expect us

> to all overlook under your autism label. When you explode

> in attack

> mode, you appear to be either psychotic or really mean.

>

> Debi who isn't being ugly, I'm trying to help you

> comprehend.

>

> >

> > Learn to read.

> >

> > I've been through the therapy. I've had to

> have reconstructions on

> my hips and girly bits. Aren't you glad to know that?

> No? TOO BAD.

> Selfish cow yourself.

> >

> > Reality check: THAT is more to fear happening to your

> child than ANY

> developmental disability. So are many other things, things

> that kill

> and maim. And if you can't see that, then I'm

> really sorry for your kids.

> >

November 21, 2008

Kassi

Â

This isnt a contest to see who was abused more. I am sorry for your abuse just

as I am sorry for anyone who has suffered ANY form of abuse.

Â

But you coming in here and saying we dont care about our kids because we want to

fix them is wrong. I know I can only speak for myself. I am not fixing my

daughter nothing about her needs to be fixed. But offering her love and support

and if that includes ABA or any other therapy to help her be the best she can be

then so be it. I will always do what I THINK is best for my daughter and all my

kids and what you or anyone else think of my attempts to help my kids doesnt

bother me. There is only one person who needs to be concerned about my helping

my child and thats my child.

Â

>

> > From: candaceallday <candaceallday@ elmore.rr.

> com>

> > Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry

> King Live - set your TIVO

> > To: Autism_in_Girls@ yahoogroups. com

> > Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 5:51 PM

> > Ettina,

> >

> > First of all, just because Mccarthy has money

> > doesn't make her

> > sheltered from the effects of autism. Secondly, I

> don't

> > mostly agree

> > with you. I do NOT agree with you at all. Sexual abuse

> can

> > be helped

> > through therapy. Depending on the severity of autism

> some

> > of these

> > children may NEVER be able to live independent lives.

> > I've never met

> > a victim of sexual abuse that could not form sentence,

> or

> > have

> > problems expressing their wants and/or needs, banged

> their

> > head

> > against the wall, chewed their skin off etc.......

> >

> > The is no commonality between the two, period.

> >

> > And for the girl who referred to Debi as a

> > " martyr " and said she's

> > used to hearing as such......grow up!

> >

> > No one but Debi herself has walked in Debi shoes,

> therefore

> >

> > condescending her is not justified in the slightest

> > whatsoever.

> >

> > And before anybody starts bashing Mccarthy about

> her

> > experience

> > with autism, try reading her books first. Look at the

> work

> > she does

> > to promote things such as Generation Rescue. So what

> if

> > she's a

> > terrible actress!!! She brings attention to a matter

> that

> > is

> > RIDICOUSLY UNDERFUNDED, and alot of people are

> ill-informed

> > about.

> >

> > > >

> > > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not into

> bashing

> > other people's

> > > > thoughts but comparing autism and sexual

> abuse is

> > not appropriate

> > > > in the LEAST.

> > > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an apple

> to

> > an orange.

> > > > And you know why I know this, because

> I'm a

> > single mother. My

> > only

> > > > child that I will EVER give birth to has

> autism.

> > My grandfather

> > > > sexually abused my mother and both her

> sisters.

> > And guess what,

> > > > they are both life altering events that DO

> NOT

> > belong in the same

> > > > thought process.

> > > >

> > > > And I do agree there are worse things, I

> spent a

> > day at

> > Children's

> > > > hospital looking at sick kids dying while on

> > dialysis waiting for

> > a

> > > > kidney. But do you know what the

> ramifications

> > that are going to

> > > > come from having to find the money to give

> the

> > services to your

> > > > child/ren that insurance does not pay for,

> > fighting the public

> > > > education system for their entire lives to

> get

> > the most " free and

> > > > appropriate education " that is supposed

> to

> > be provided under the

> > > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain that

> comes

> > from marriages

> > > > breaking up, the guilt and depression of

> thinking

> > there's

> > something

> > > > I should've done different, making sure

> > others are educated about

> > > > autism so everyone around your child

> doesn't

> > think he/she should

> > > > act like the guy in the movie

> " RainMan "

> > so your child doesn't

> > grow

> > > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > > How dare you say our lives are

> > sheltered--- -because autism and

> > > > abuse cannot be compared.... .........

> worlds

> > apart.

> > > >

> > > I don't understand your comment. Could you

> explain

> > what's wrong

> > with

> > > me comparing the two? It sounds like you mostly

> agree

> > with me, but

> > > yet apparently you don't. I don't get it.

> > > Regarding the 'sheltered lives' comment,

> I was

> > referring to people

> > > like McCarthy - rich people who've

> never had

> > anything serious

> > > not go their way until their child turned out

> > autistic, and like to

> > > play the victim about it.

> > > Ettina

> > >

>

> Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email.

> Get Yahoo!7 Mail! http://au.yahoo. com/y7mail

>

November 21, 2008

My inbox is clogged up with " McCarthy " / " Enough Already "

topics............lets move on with something constructive. If folks insist on

bickering please email each other and don't air your differences in front of the

entire membership. Thank You

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls

Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 9:11:45 PM

Subject: Re: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

I do believe that I was speaking to the entire list. Just to rephrase,

please CHILL IT, everyone....

> Get some mood stabilizers, anxiolytics, just chill out because you

> sound unbalanced and unstable.

November 21, 2008

Stop reading things into what I said.

I believe what I said is that if you fear autism more than abuse, your

priorities are screwed up. In fact, I know that's what I said.

Yes, I think that approaching your child as broken is messed up. THat's not what

this is about. This is about messed up priority of fear. Way to demonize, guys.

Make me more glad to NOT be NT.

> >

> > > From: candaceallday <candaceallday@ elmore.rr.

> > com>

> > > Subject: Re: McCarthy on

> Larry

> > King Live - set your TIVO

> > > To: Autism_in_Girls@ yahoogroups. com

> > > Date: Thursday, November 20, 2008, 5:51 PM

> > > Ettina,

> > >

> > > First of all, just because Mccarthy has

> money

> > > doesn't make her

> > > sheltered from the effects of autism. Secondly, I

> > don't

> > > mostly agree

> > > with you. I do NOT agree with you at all. Sexual

> abuse

> > can

> > > be helped

> > > through therapy. Depending on the severity of

> autism

> > some

> > > of these

> > > children may NEVER be able to live independent

> lives.

> > > I've never met

> > > a victim of sexual abuse that could not form

> sentence,

> > or

> > > have

> > > problems expressing their wants and/or needs,

> banged

> > their

> > > head

> > > against the wall, chewed their skin off

> etc.......

> > >

> > > The is no commonality between the two, period.

> > >

> > > And for the girl who referred to Debi as a

> > > " martyr " and said she's

> > > used to hearing as such......grow up!

> > >

> > > No one but Debi herself has walked in Debi shoes,

> > therefore

> > >

> > > condescending her is not justified in the

> slightest

> > > whatsoever.

> > >

> > > And before anybody starts bashing Mccarthy

> about

> > her

> > > experience

> > > with autism, try reading her books first. Look at

> the

> > work

> > > she does

> > > to promote things such as Generation Rescue. So

> what

> > if

> > > she's a

> > > terrible actress!!! She brings attention to a

> matter

> > that

> > > is

> > > RIDICOUSLY UNDERFUNDED, and alot of people are

> > ill-informed

> > > about.

> > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Okay first and foremost, I'm not

> into

> > bashing

> > > other people's

> > > > > thoughts but comparing autism and

> sexual

> > abuse is

> > > not appropriate

> > > > > in the LEAST.

> > > > > Comparing those 2 is like comparing an

> apple

> > to

> > > an orange.

> > > > > And you know why I know this, because

> > I'm a

> > > single mother. My

> > > only

> > > > > child that I will EVER give birth to

> has

> > autism.

> > > My grandfather

> > > > > sexually abused my mother and both her

> > sisters.

> > > And guess what,

> > > > > they are both life altering events that

> DO

> > NOT

> > > belong in the same

> > > > > thought process.

> > > > >

> > > > > And I do agree there are worse things,

> I

> > spent a

> > > day at

> > > Children's

> > > > > hospital looking at sick kids dying

> while on

> > > dialysis waiting for

> > > a

> > > > > kidney. But do you know what the

> > ramifications

> > > that are going to

> > > > > come from having to find the money to

> give

> > the

> > > services to your

> > > > > child/ren that insurance does not pay

> for,

> > > fighting the public

> > > > > education system for their entire lives

> to

> > get

> > > the most " free and

> > > > > appropriate education " that is

> supposed

> > to

> > > be provided under the

> > > > > laws of the U.S., the finanical strain

> that

> > comes

> > > from marriages

> > > > > breaking up, the guilt and depression

> of

> > thinking

> > > there's

> > > something

> > > > > I should've done different, making

> sure

> > > others are educated about

> > > > > autism so everyone around your child

> > doesn't

> > > think he/she should

> > > > > act like the guy in the movie

> > " RainMan "

> > > so your child doesn't

> > > grow

> > > > > up feeling ostracized from the world.

> > > > > How dare you say our lives are

> > > sheltered--- -because autism and

> > > > > abuse cannot be compared.... .........

> > worlds

> > > apart.

> > > > >

> > > > I don't understand your comment. Could

> you

> > explain

> > > what's wrong

> > > with

> > > > me comparing the two? It sounds like you

> mostly

> > agree

> > > with me, but

> > > > yet apparently you don't. I don't

> get it.

> > > > Regarding the 'sheltered lives'

> comment,

> > I was

> > > referring to people

> > > > like McCarthy - rich people who've

> > never had

> > > anything serious

> > > > not go their way until their child turned

> out

> > > autistic, and like to

> > > > play the victim about it.

> > > > Ettina

> > > >

> >

> > Make the switch to the world & #39;s best email.

> > Get Yahoo!7 Mail! http://au.yahoo. com/y7mail

> >

November 21, 2008

Using medical terminology as a weapon is marginalizing. Saying " you aren't a

parent so you don't understand " is as well *especially because as an autistic, I

understand a lot MORE than NT parents do what it IS TO BE AUTISTIC*.

Stop, in short, being a superior snot. I won't apologize for being mean because

I'm not sorry. You're not giving me much reason to be.

>

> Subject: Re: McCarthy on Larry King Live - set your

TIVO

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Friday, November 21, 2008, 7:03 AM

> Kassi, we go through this all the time. You know, or should

> know I

> don't marginalize you. Most of the posters on this list

> do not

> marginalize you. I cannot think of the last time anyone

> marginalized

> you. You choose to feel that way. You choose to cling to

> that as a

> reason to call us names. No one here EVER called you broken

> in this

> thread.

>

> You choose how you want to feel about yourself. You choose

> the words

> you use. You choose to call me names and insult my

> parenting. I get it

> fine. I'm done posting with you about this. You are

> welcome to email

> me if you want, but I'm done. I will try to avoid

> reading your posts

> from now on, clearly I am choosing to engage your

> destructive posts

> and it makes me no more functional than it does you in

> posting them. I

> guess I hate to see you unable to move beyond the need to

> constantly

> attack everyone, but as you have stated you have underlying

> physiological issues that might be the reasoning, I

> don't know which

> it is from you and I know you likely won't disclose it

> or ever

> apologize when you are psychotic/mean to me or anyone else.

>

> Debi

>

> >

> > You aren't getting it.

> >

> > Being reffered to as broken and non existent for years

> will make

> someone, in fact, lose their temper.

> >

> > Yep, I guess I am really mean. That's what years

> of marginalization

> and living in the cracks will do to a person. I should get

> a button

> that says " teh meanie eebil ND *but at least I use the

> word properly* "

> and wear it.

November 21, 2008

I agree with Sondra, although I do feel that the advice extends to

more than just Kassi.

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