Re: Sondra/ettina

[Guest guest]

Sweetie, you were not a magnet. And I KNOW it doesn't have Anything to do

with your character or anyone else's here! I think pedophiles are just very,

very good at finding a child who is insufficiently protected. If a tiger

eats a lamb, is it the lamb's fault? A pedophile is a Hunter, and he's very

good at it.

Pedophiles are extremely good at hiding what they are, at making the tiniest

seemingly innocent moves and watching to see if anyone has noticed. They

know how to ingratiate themselves and appear innocent, how to terrorize little

children into silence. Any little girl who was sufficiently available got

his attention. Even today, people have trouble facing the fact that a family

member is a pedophile, and people back then were much less informed, much less

educated on the subject.

All of my friends who were molested by their fathers [and there are several]

have told me the same thing. These men did it because they could, because

they had the sickness inside that made them want to, because they could get

away with it, because it's easier to molest a child in your family than to go

to the trouble of finding one somewhere else without getting caught. Did all

of those other family members he molested have autism? If not, he was just

molesting any child he could and you happened to be one of them.

Sandi

In a message dated 11/3/2008 7:29:59 P.M. Central Standard Time,

hfa2@... writes:

it is of scary to know that in the few autistics here 90 % of them

were of sexally harmed. I to wonder if if there isof somthing about

the way in which auism is of reflected from us that attracts sick

people to us like of magnets. i to wonder what reflects from our

cahracter that causes of us to be of more of a target for being of

vicitims to such things as this.

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[Guest guest]

Sandi yes he did be of to hide of hims sick behind religion and

behind the terms of father and grand father and such... the family of

me were of sick right along with him though as they knew of hims sick

and yet often placed us (grand chidlren into hims hands) so to speak.

the things is they defended of him saying this is of what old men

do... this is of what was told when i to finally had of some words to

share of the fears. the mother of me had of much pictures of him

through out her home and not one of me anywheres i to be of outcasted

and rejected because I to spoke out. i to leaved of the family of me

much of 7-8 years ago and moved away from all of them and have of

little contact to them now. it was of the only way for me to survive

and was of hard to feel actually free from their toxic ways to me.

in my brain the family teached me God was of a monster out to get of

me. so growing up growed up with so much mixed up things in regards

to God but then the scary man was of one always with the bible and

watched of the bible shows and knowed of the bible words and so for

me felt that he and God were of much best friends even though i to

never met of this God person yet, thinking he was of something out

there but I to never seen of him. the scary man telled of me if I to

ever shared of words over this that God will kill of my grand ma. I

to not understood in complete those words until i to be of 13 and

finally had of the words to tell of a person at the hospital places.

the following day the mother of me was to be of at the hospital and

camed to me and told of me the grand ma had of a bad stroke and for

years this caused me to think it was of true God almost killed of her

because of my words... while this thinking was locked in me the

concept of words were not so could not say of the thinking in me over

this but felt a huge thinking my words caused God to almost kill of

her. I was of not good to words back then still not be of good to

words always verbally but still had of knowings in me of thinking but

the thinking did not have of words. cant explain of this but it was

of so within me.

the scary man told of me much things in regards to this sick in him

and the words still cause of me angers. the thing is of that he only

molested of most of the family members, he molested many foster girls

and neighbors but he did be of to fully rape of me and the cousin

named of V. why I to lack in full.. but can only say of the fact was

of much not able to tell of it. V. was of able to tell and she did

when she was of a teen girl too he mostly waited until the child was

of around the ages of 9 and then did of hims crimes until they were

of 13-14 or so but one neighbor girl was of age of 4. the sick as I

to share was not so much of just what he did be of to do but that the

family did nothing knowing. it was not that they were of ignorant to

hims ways because they were of not. they were of aware of this sick

and pretended it did not exist and yet left of the children be left

to hims hands at times as if they were part of it all.

If this were of to be of me my life would be to have severed all

things of that parent and never ever to let of my childrens near of

him knowing of hims sick. this is of helathy parent view but none of

this family on the mothers side had of this healthy thinkings.

my therapist was of the first to allow and encourage and gave of me

permission to speak openly of this sick and traumas to me. we did be

of to work through it much so and then I to needed of a break and not

been of able to go back to that for a few years because it was of

causing too much new emotions and the pictures and memory of things

were of now with words to match and could be of to now transfer of

the thinking to words to him. that was of powerfully impacting of me

to be experince of the events as if living in them in the now.

the family impacts to me caused of me to greatly fear people because

learend people hurt of me and with autism felt confused by people and

they produced so much anxiety to me because could not understand the

words or actions or ways of them. so avoided them because of the

autism too.

what was asking though is of the fact that many of us on spectrum

have been to endured sexual traumas to us and so wondered what is it

about us that will leave of us as targets to such crimes as this more

so than the typical populations... is there a characteristic about us

that seems to attract of the scik people to us... I to often wonder

of this.

I to feel as if there was of somethings about of me that caused of

him to target of me for the rapes instead of the molestations that

the most of hte other victims of him had... what maked of him want to

hurt of me more so than the others and continue to target of me over

and over and why the family of me could not stop or see of the impact

this crime to me was of creating to me. I to be of what could say

lived in a sick world around me. the professionals shared it was of

paranoia schizophrenia my paranoia had of roots from my life it was

of of not a delusional fear of people it was rooted in the life of me

from their evil to me.

sondra