Re: How many parents still...

[Guest guest]

HI Karmen

I assist with bathing and oversee toothbrushing w.my 16 year old. Maybe once

or twice a week I do the brushing and use floss. I also assist with period

cleanliness and getting the pad in right when I am able. Dressing she does

independently though needs prompts to straighten, pull down shirts, and

sometimes puts things on backwards. I put a big B in the back of underwear and

pants

and shirts with a laundry marker and that helps her. I have made lists of

steps for hygiene things like wiping and toothbrushing and I post them on the

bathroom wall. This helps. You can use pictures or words.

I think patience and letting go of " rules " about when kids do things or that

helps a lot. There are things I still can't do at age 47, like read maps and

navigate well!

Melinda

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[Guest guest]

Hi Karmen,

My daughter is 16 and I still brush her teeth and give her a bath. She

can dress herself and I comb her hair and she still wears pull-ups so

I change her also.

Vicki C.

>

> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

up and stops altogether.

>

> Karmen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing,

bathing, dressing, etc.)

>

> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

up and stops altogether.

>

> Karmen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My HFA daughter is 12 and I still have to help her. I have to give step by step

verbal directions for showering, washing face, etc. If I didn't she would not

wash her face, put on deoderant and her hair would be dirty. She just doesn't

understand why she needs to be clean.

Re: How many parents still...

>

>Hi Karmen,

>My daughter is 16 and I still brush her teeth and give her a bath. She

>can dress herself and I comb her hair and she still wears pull-ups so

>I change her also.

>Vicki C.

>

>>

>> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

>skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

>escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

>up and stops altogether.

>>

>> Karmen

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

We give cues to Kayla.... Wash all of your hair, get your face, etc. She

has dressed herself forever. We remind her to brush her teeth. She goes

thru a roll of toilet paper a day. It's crazy, but she loves to wipe and

wipe and wipe. She is 13, no period yet, so I can't comment on that yet.

She knows what she is supposed to do when it happens, but who knows.

On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 10:32 AM, Horwath wrote:

> My HFA daughter is 12 and I still have to help her. I have to give step

> by step verbal directions for showering, washing face, etc. If I didn't she

> would not wash her face, put on deoderant and her hair would be dirty. She

> just doesn't understand why she needs to be clean.

>

>

>

> Re: How many parents still...

> >

> >Hi Karmen,

> >My daughter is 16 and I still brush her teeth and give her a bath. She

> >can dress herself and I comb her hair and she still wears pull-ups so

> >I change her also.

> >Vicki C.

> >

> >>

> >> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

> >skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

> >escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

> >up and stops altogether.

> >>

> >> Karmen

> >>

> >>

> >>

[Guest guest]

Karmen

i think you will find many parents with typical children doing the same for

their children

i would not worry too much about it yet

Subject: How many parents still...

To: autism_in_Girls

Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 8:16 AM

assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing, bathing,

dressing, etc.)

My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these skills? She does

not have low muscle tone but her frustration level escalates when she cannot

accomplish something quickly, and she gives up and stops altogether.

Karmen

[Guest guest]

even NT children cannot clean their teeth adequately until at least 10.... this

is what we tell our parents at my workplace.

Cheryl S [chez]

To: Autism_in_Girls@...: scarletwind63@...: Sat, 29

Nov 2008 15:00:10 +0000Subject: Re: How many parents still...

>> assist

your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing,bathing, dressing,

etc.)> > My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with theseskills?

She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration levelescalates when she

cannot accomplish something quickly, and she givesup and stops altogether.> >

Karmen > > >

[Guest guest]

I still help my 12 yr old Aspie son if I didnt he would be in and out of that

bath in about 30 seconds flat and back to his books pc game or his room. As for

his teeth I make sure he brushes them properly at least once a day but then he

loves his battery toothbrush and uses it in his mouth as a stim toy on his teeth

etc as well. So that has to help even without toothpaste

 

My 4 yr old we help with everything but she is still needing diapers. But we are

letting her " do " some things herself like telling her which body part to wash

next. Then giving her the washer and letting her play with it. She will only use

a washer on some parts of her body and prefers a loofah on other parts.. Sensory

I guess.

 

Subject: Re: Re: How many parents still...

To: Autism_in_Girls

Received: Sunday, 30 November, 2008, 2:32 AM

My HFA daughter is 12 and I still have to help her. I have to give step by step

verbal directions for showering, washing face, etc. If I didn't she would not

wash her face, put on deoderant and her hair would be dirty. She just doesn't

understand why she needs to be clean.

Re: How many parents still...

>

>Hi Karmen,

>My daughter is 16 and I still brush her teeth and give her a bath. She

>can dress herself and I comb her hair and she still wears pull-ups so

>I change her also.

>Vicki C.

>

>>

>> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

>skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

>escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

>up and stops altogether.

>>

>> Karmen

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

I do. She is 9, I still have to verbally prompt her to wash hair,

rinse hair, and esp. brush teeth. If she refuses after the verbal

prompt, I move in with gentle physical insistence, like hand-over-hand

to grab the tooth brush.

But if it makes you feel any better, I still have to verbally prompt

my completely NT 11 year-old. I don't know when it stops, perhaps with

their first serious love interest when they start caring?

HTH,

Debi

-

[Guest guest]

Same here Debi, while my ASD daughter is only 5. I think it's pretty normal

that I have to bathe her and brush her teeth - although I do have friends

with 5 year olds who are able to do it all on their own other than a little

assistance getting all the soap out of really long hair.... But I too still

have to prompt my 11 year old to take a shower and brush her teeth and there

are times that she comes out of the shower with shampoo still in her hair

mixed with conditioner. LOL

She does have ADHD so I know that can contribute some of it to that. But it

can sure be aggravating, especially when the lying comes in! Saying she did

it when I know she didn't. She is good for going into the bathroom to brush

her teeth and just turning on the water a minute and then hanging out for a

few minutes and saying she did it. So we had to start inspecting and

sometimes watching to be sure it got done.

We tried going with natural consequences for the hair and body stuff, but

when it comes to the teeth I won't let that go cause we've got more than

$4000 in braces on those teeth and we've told her that if she wants to go to

school with stinky dirty hair and have the kids make fun of her, that's her

choice, but since it's OUR money on those teeth, she WILL take care of them

till she's out of this house.

>

> I do. She is 9, I still have to verbally prompt her to wash hair,

> rinse hair, and esp. brush teeth. If she refuses after the verbal

> prompt, I move in with gentle physical insistence, like hand-over-hand

> to grab the tooth brush.

>

> But if it makes you feel any better, I still have to verbally prompt

> my completely NT 11 year-old. I don't know when it stops, perhaps with

> their first serious love interest when they start caring?

>

> HTH,

> Debi

>

> -

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There are definitely certain things I will not compromise on, and

hygiene, diet and elimination are the main three. gets about

80% of her calories and nutrition from a " kitchen sink " smoothie I

make for her in the afternoon, and she refuses to take it any other

way than me feeding it to her with a spoon (it's about the

consistency of frozen yogurt). People who witness this often ask me,

" Are you still going to be feeding her like that when she's 20? " And

my answer is " If that's what it takes to get her to eat it, you're

darn right I am! " Same goes for personal care and grooming. It's

really about the health aspects for me mainly.

> Same here Debi, while my ASD daughter is only 5. I think it's

> pretty normal

> that I have to bathe her and brush her teeth -

>

>

>

>>

>> I do. She is 9, I still have to verbally prompt her to wash hair,

>> rinse hair, and esp. brush teeth.

[Guest guest]

I get SO MAD when Jess sneaks without wearing deodorant. I've tried to

explain to her that in middle school if you stink you will get a

stigma that won't be so easy to get rid of. I remember when I was in

junior high a girl there I'll call Jane really, really stunk. It was

really pitiful, she was abused by her family and without going into

disgusting details, they liked her to smell unbathed. I remember one

day the guidance counselors MAKING Jane take a bath in the locker room

in gym. Jane was crying and was obviously humiliated. It must have

been humiliating. I felt so bad for her I wanted to cry, too, and I

also felt bad because I was one of the girls that had complained about

her body odor and have always felt guilty that I contributed to her

shame. But I didn't do it out of meanness, her odor was unbearable.

I guess that experience stays with me, when I smell my oldest having

pit odor after school I fear she may get taunted. Funny what we carry

through life from childhood experiences.

Debi

[Guest guest]

When friends/family learned I was still nursing Dinah at 18-27 mos

they would act so offended. I explained what I had read about extended

breastfeeding as providing possible extra protection from celiac, IBS,

autism, etc & that if nursing kept her from getting those she would go

to college on the boob! We did wean at 27 mos, I don't regret going

that long a bit. You are right, we have to teach kids basic health so

they will have it for a lifetime.

Debi

>

> There are definitely certain things I will not compromise on, and

> hygiene, diet and elimination are the main three. gets about

> 80% of her calories and nutrition from a " kitchen sink " smoothie I

> make for her in the afternoon, and she refuses to take it any other

> way than me feeding it to her with a spoon (it's about the

> consistency of frozen yogurt). People who witness this often ask me,

> " Are you still going to be feeding her like that when she's 20? " And

> my answer is " If that's what it takes to get her to eat it, you're

> darn right I am! " Same goes for personal care and grooming. It's

> really about the health aspects for me mainly.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I weaned Nadia at the age of 4 years 10 months

but she asks for the boob night and day and almost 4 months since i stopped and

i still have milk which i think she smells or something because i have to fight

her off

i stopped because everyone was on my case and i regret so much forcing her to

stop but i cant go back now

self care in my opinion must be modeled, my daughter would not wash her own

hands but recently started to when she started at school and watched peers do it

Subject: Re: How many parents still...

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Saturday, November 29, 2008, 9:27 PM

When friends/family learned I was still nursing Dinah at 18-27 mos

they would act so offended. I explained what I had read about extended

breastfeeding as providing possible extra protection from celiac, IBS,

autism, etc & that if nursing kept her from getting those she would go

to college on the boob! We did wean at 27 mos, I don't regret going

that long a bit. You are right, we have to teach kids basic health so

they will have it for a lifetime.

Debi

>

> There are definitely certain things I will not compromise on, and

> hygiene, diet and elimination are the main three. gets about

> 80% of her calories and nutrition from a " kitchen sink " smoothie I

> make for her in the afternoon, and she refuses to take it any other

> way than me feeding it to her with a spoon (it's about the

> consistency of frozen yogurt). People who witness this often ask me,

> " Are you still going to be feeding her like that when she's 20? " And

> my answer is " If that's what it takes to get her to eat it, you're

> darn right I am! " Same goes for personal care and grooming. It's

> really about the health aspects for me mainly.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 7. PDD-NOS (as of last diagnosis - because they always seem to

change it)

She can dress herself, puts on her own shoes, coat, etc. I started asking he

what she wants to wear and having her pull the clothes out herself, she would be

just as happy if I just chose it, but my goal is her independence. She washes

her own hands.

What I have found for my daughter is once I teach her something as part of

routine, through the broken down in manageable steps, then it becomes things she

just does. This even has included putting on own seat belt in car or getting in

and out herself. She couldn't do it 6 months ago, but now does it all as if

she has been doing it all her life.

I think it is about what they are capable of, and allowing them to do some of it

with success and each time adding a bit more. If she still needs the prompts at

10, I will probably institute a check list for her morning or night routines to

create more independence.

I think society rushes our children. I think we expect a lot of a 6 or 7 year

old. I think we need to create independence, but we certainly don't need to rush

it. BUT that is just my personal view.

If you want her to do more, if it helps maybe a chart where so many stickers

gets her a reward, like a chore chart but for the health an hygiene things?

[Guest guest]

I was still assisting Allie with these things until she was 9. She wanted

to go to summer camp when she turned 9, and finally learned to shower and wash

her hair etc in order to be allowed to go. By nine she was dressing herself

with more competency, but putting on socks and buttoning jeans were still

very frustrating. It took more time [a year or two?] before she could take

those for granted.

A sand glass tooth-brushing timer helped with the tooth brushing. Two

minutes is the recommended time for brushing, so I found a kit with a two minute

timer. Allie was happier when she felt there was a definite rule about the

length of time she had to brush. Once she was happier about the simple fact

that she had to brush, it was easier to get her to work on " quality " brushing.

Disney character rotary tooth brushes helped, and Hannah Montana musical

brushes too, :-)

In a message dated 11/29/2008 7:16:22 A.M. Central Standard Time,

kcboone@... writes:

assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing, bathing,

dressing, etc.)

My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these skills? She

does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level escalates when she

cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives up and stops altogether.

Karmen

..

**************Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW

AOL.com.

(http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000002)

[Guest guest]

My daughter is almost eight. She can dress herself and brush her teeth ok. I

pick out her clothes. What we are still working on is showering by herself. I

know she can do it, she just doesn't have any interest in it. I also still have

to remind her to wash her hands after going to the bathroom and keep her face

clean.

It is so interesting that these girls are not aware of cleanliness. Even the

girls that are high functioning.

Rebekah

>

> Subject: Re: How many parents still...

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Sunday, November 30, 2008, 11:22 PM

> I was still assisting Allie with these things until she was

> 9. She wanted

> to go to summer camp when she turned 9, and finally learned

> to shower and wash

> her hair etc in order to be allowed to go. By nine she was

> dressing herself

> with more competency, but putting on socks and buttoning

> jeans were still

> very frustrating. It took more time [a year or two?]

> before she could take

> those for granted.

>

> A sand glass tooth-brushing timer helped with the tooth

> brushing. Two

> minutes is the recommended time for brushing, so I found a

> kit with a two minute

> timer. Allie was happier when she felt there was a

> definite rule about the

> length of time she had to brush. Once she was happier

> about the simple fact

> that she had to brush, it was easier to get her to work on

> " quality " brushing.

>

> Disney character rotary tooth brushes helped, and Hannah

> Montana musical

> brushes too, :-)

>

>

>

> In a message dated 11/29/2008 7:16:22 A.M. Central Standard

> Time,

> kcboone@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth

> brushing, bathing,

> dressing, etc.)

>

> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with

> these skills? She

> does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

> escalates when she

> cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives up and

> stops altogether.

>

> Karmen

>

> .

>

>

>

>

> **************Life should be easier. So should your

> homepage. Try the NEW

> AOL.com.

>

(http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000002)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 4. she will be 5 in march, I still help her with

getting dressed, brushing her teeth and she still needs help with

bathing, going to bathroom, among other stuff. I will continue to help

her until she does not need it. In one of my school book it states

that only 2% of autistic children will be able to live on their own. I

hope that fact is not true. I won't mind if it is.

>

> assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing,

bathing, dressing, etc.)

>

> My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

up and stops altogether.

>

> Karmen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Mom to a twelve year old and a ten year old high functioning autistict

gals. In time with routine and supervision it gets easier as with

every child each are different. 12 is a tween so eh she is dealing

with independance and other issues but still has to be supervised and

taught repetedly. I don't think about the future as far as living

independantly I enjoy the time I have and take each day as it comes.

Way way to soon for you to be thinking that far ahead enjoy now.You

will miss out on so much if you worry about later to much now.

Children grow and change so quickly that you never know what is going

to happen from day to day.

JULIE xxxxxxx

> >

> > assist your daughter with daily personal skills? (teeth brushing,

> bathing, dressing, etc.)

> >

> > My daughter is 6 and she still requires assistance with these

> skills? She does not have low muscle tone but her frustration level

> escalates when she cannot accomplish something quickly, and she gives

> up and stops altogether.

> >

> > Karmen

> >

> >

> >