Re: Hard time dealing with daughters aggression

November 26, 2008

oh yes - I have soooo been through all of this and much more.There is so

much that could be involved and I'm sure others on the list will ask

questions and fill in with other perspectives. Is this a new development

that has just started with the onset of puberty? Is she currently on any

medications? Is she verbal? Where exactly do you think she is on the

spectrum - low - medium - high? The best is to be able to prevent the

aggression in the first place, because once an episode starts my daughter

can go full tilt adrenaline pumping for 45-60 minutes. For my daughter

much of the aggression is linked to fear and anxiety. My daughter is

verbal, but can not always express what is bothering her especially at

the time - maybe later - maybe. Best of course is to know the cause of

the anxiety and be able to explain (maybe social stories) why she should

not be afraid etc but in the mean time you have to try to avoid the

causes. My daughter is afraid of fireworks, fire drills, fire engines,

thunder and lightening, animals that move quickly to name a few. Over

the years my daughter has developed coping skills, but if not destressed,

she can build up and just explode suddenly for seemingly " no reason " . I

think you will find from others on the spectrum here that they can also

" replay " an incident from the past like a movie complete with emotions

attached. You must observe carefully and document what your daughters

triggers are if she can't tell you. If you know what soothes or calms

her then use these to destress her if you know she has had some triggers

that can cause her anxiety or build them in as a regular part of her

schedule. Worst case is she has lost control and become aggressive. At

her age she could be extremely difficult to control. Also if it helps, I

believe that she may not always even remember all the details of what she

is doing - like a black out. We had to resort to never traveling alone -

always having at least 2 people to either restrain or one does their best

to restrain or at least keep them safe while the other goes for help. I

have found that keeping a soft blanket handy to throw over her or

sometimes wrap her so you don't have to deal with all four limbs and a

head that can seriously bite you. There are techniques that the schools

use like skip (not sure of spelling) but require more than one person.

Like I said there could be much involved - feel free to email me off list

if you want.Loren HofmeisterDad to Lara (16 m-hfa) and Josh (18 NT)

Hard time dealing with daughters

aggression

Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:52:39 -0000

Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle it. I

am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

scratched

me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side of my

face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling kind

of

sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont think I

am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things happen

to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as

big

as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

words.

November 26, 2008

My daughter had a few of these episodes. Usually they coninsided with

hormones. With Kayla I have full body hugged her when she is like that. It

is difficult to to this when she is in a rage. But once I can figure a way

to do it, I hug her all over, hum, and try to rock her. If she calms down

enough to hear me, I will start deep breathing, and she will do it too.

Then when it's over, we talk about it. I know that she does this to me,

because she feels safe letting out all of her anger or unease or whatever it

is. But that it is not acceptable. She has punched me in the nose, I saw

stars and thought she broke my nose. Most of our kids have this super human

strength and my daughter is like that. She can lift me off of her, I out

weigh her alot. She weighs about 90 lbs.

So I do full body hugs, hum, deep breathing, rocking and then talk about it.

It seems to work. We haven't had too many violent episodes. I use this

alot to help her thru what ever is upsetting her.

On Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 11:52 PM, Berry

wrote:

> Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle it. I

> am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She scratched

> me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side of my

> face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

> else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling kind of

> sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont think I

> am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things happen

> to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as big

> as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

> words.

>

November 26, 2008

Hi ,

I haven't posted in a while, but your post is something I can relate

to.......our daughter will punch/bite kick/ scratch/ and yes, spit on you if she

is upset. I sit behind her and hold her in a bear hug with her arms crossed

across her chest and me holding her wrists. I can also cross my legs over her

legs if she is kicking. This can be done with no pain or injury to her at all,

and I hold her until she calms down. All I can say is, resist the urge to

become upset yourself, as it will only make the situation worse....stay calm and

yes, take deep breaths. This too shall pass. Lee

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls

Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2008 11:52:39 PM

Subject: Hard time dealing with daughters aggression

Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle it. I

am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She scratched

me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side of my

face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling kind of

sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont think I

am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things happen

to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as big

as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

words.

November 26, 2008

, Allie was a little aggressive around 2-4, ABA seemed to help

some, biomed helped some, and time helped some. Sounds to me that for

you time isn't working, I don't know if you've tried the others. I

would suggest you consider hormones, Dr. Geier really believes a lot

of the violence associated with autism has a link to excess

testosterone and if you can lower the testosterone then the

aggressions significantly decrease.

Do you have any idea what the triggers are for her?

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know it's not easy.

Debi

November 26, 2008

This started around two years ago. Yes I think prepuberty time frame.

No medications and has some verbal skills. She falls in the moderate

range of autism. She is in an autism program through our County now

and it is pretty good this year so far. They seem to think it is a

lot of fear and anxiety she has. Things you have mentioned about your

daughter decribes my daughter. I think she replays a lot in her head.

Things just seem to build up and than she explodes. She was screaming

a lot for three days before this last explosion happened. I also have

my husband with me as much as possible when I have to take her

somewhere with me. I wonder how I can help so that things don't build

up the way they do.

Thanks

>

> oh yes - I have soooo been through all of this and much more.There

is so

> much that could be involved and I'm sure others on the list will ask

> questions and fill in with other perspectives. Is this a new

development

> that has just started with the onset of puberty? Is she currently

on any

> medications? Is she verbal? Where exactly do you think she is on

the

> spectrum - low - medium - high? The best is to be able to prevent

the

> aggression in the first place, because once an episode starts my

daughter

> can go full tilt adrenaline pumping for 45-60 minutes. For my

daughter

> much of the aggression is linked to fear and anxiety. My daughter

is

> verbal, but can not always express what is bothering her especially

at

> the time - maybe later - maybe. Best of course is to know the

cause of

> the anxiety and be able to explain (maybe social stories) why she

should

> not be afraid etc but in the mean time you have to try to avoid the

> causes. My daughter is afraid of fireworks, fire drills, fire

engines,

> thunder and lightening, animals that move quickly to name a few.

Over

> the years my daughter has developed coping skills, but if not

destressed,

> she can build up and just explode suddenly for seemingly " no

reason " . I

> think you will find from others on the spectrum here that they can

also

> " replay " an incident from the past like a movie complete with

emotions

> attached. You must observe carefully and document what your

daughters

> triggers are if she can't tell you. If you know what soothes or

calms

> her then use these to destress her if you know she has had some

triggers

> that can cause her anxiety or build them in as a regular part of her

> schedule. Worst case is she has lost control and become

aggressive. At

> her age she could be extremely difficult to control. Also if it

helps, I

> believe that she may not always even remember all the details of

what she

> is doing - like a black out. We had to resort to never traveling

alone -

> always having at least 2 people to either restrain or one does

their best

> to restrain or at least keep them safe while the other goes for

help. I

> have found that keeping a soft blanket handy to throw over her or

> sometimes wrap her so you don't have to deal with all four limbs

and a

> head that can seriously bite you. There are techniques that the

schools

> use like skip (not sure of spelling) but require more than one

person.

> Like I said there could be much involved - feel free to email me

off list

> if you want.Loren HofmeisterDad to Lara (16 m-hfa) and Josh (18 NT)

>

> Hard time dealing with daughters

> aggression

> Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:52:39 -0000

>

> Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle

it. I

> am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

> scratched

> me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side

of my

> face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

> else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling

kind

> of

> sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont

think I

> am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things

happen

> to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as

> big

> as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

> words.

>

November 26, 2008

My daughter started with the really aggressive behavior around 8. Yes

she would scream too - those really loud glass shattering screams. My

daughter is also mostly in the medium level but has some very high

functioning areas. There are medications for anti anxiety, but it can be

a long road if you don't find the right medication fairly quickly. I'm

not a medicine person myself, but my daughter had been on medication ever

since and still haven't found a perfect match yet. Others get lucky

right away with minimal medication. Other people on this list use all

kinds of diets, chelation, and homeopathic treatments. What works for

some does nothing for another child. Each is so similar and yet

completely different at the same time. Very frustrating and hard to know

what to do. What helps to calm your daughter? My daughter is given the

opportunity to go to a " safe " area or spot when she feels overwhelmed.

In her classroom she sometimes has a tent. She likes to crawl into bed

under heavy blankets. Others use weighted vests. Some one mentioned

deep pressure like hugs. I have heard that some people use a

" sacrificial " stuffed animal or doll to take their aggression out on

instead of a person. If the problem is sound then some people use sound

canceling headphones or a portable cd player. We were able to get to an

understanding with my daughter when we are out that if she feels she is

losing control she says " time to go " and we leave as quickly as

possible. Lara's mom is also the main target of my daughters

aggression. She too has been bruised and injured so badly that she was

also self conscious about going out. She has an agreement with Lara also

that if she feels she is losing control and might hurt her mother that

she says " Mommy time to go " and her mom leaves right away. The real key

is getting to the cause of the problem. If she can verbalize then

great. If not then try using a series of pictures of situations and see

if she can identify with a picture of an emotional face to indicate how

she feels about that situation or item. My daughter reacts better to a

structured environment with few surprises. Do you have routines that you

follow at home. Is she agessive at school also? Some times breaking up

tasks with frequent " breaks " helps. Sorry to ramble on here - I feel

like I know so much and yet know nothing when it comes to my daughter.

Hope your Thanksgiving goes well. Feel free to ask questions you may

have. Loren

Hard time dealing with daughters

> aggression

> Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:52:39 -0000

>

> Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle

it. I

> am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

> scratched

> me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side

of my

> face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

> else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling

kind

> of

> sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont

think I

> am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things

happen

> to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as

> big

> as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

> words.

>

November 28, 2008

I am located on Long Island in New York.I have been most fortunate in

that our school district has been most cooperative in meeting my

daughters needs.We also pay heavenly taxes here.My daughter attends a

residential school also on Long Island.We don't always agree on methods,

but I don't think I could get much better care for my daughter unless I

had millions of dollars to hire my own personal staff to work with her

24/7. Although I always feel as if I need to be doing more, I think I am

doing about as much as I know how to do for my daughter. Sometimes it

seems like I live and breath Autism and treatments. Loren

Hard time dealing with daughters

> > aggression

> > Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:52:39 -0000

> >

> > Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle

> it. I

> > am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

> > scratched

> > me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side

> of my

> > face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to

anyone

> > else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling

> kind

> > of

> > sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont

> think I

> > am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things

> happen

> > to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> > needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is

as

> > big

> > as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some

possitive

> > words.

> >

November 29, 2008

I think I have a similar problem with screaming.I am about to have

a nervous brake down here.I don't know what to do for her.I can't

tell her NO,say her name,are tell her to do something without her

yelling at me.I've been doing deep pressure on her at night before

she goes to bed.My temper is short when she yellings at me.I haven't

spanked her in a long time.And I don't want to.I think thats wrong to

do that to autistic children.But,I have done it And I feel horrible

for spanking her.I end up crying my eyes out for what,I've done.And

thinking someone help me because I could just run and hide in a hole

and never come out.I keep think I'm a bad parent for doing this to my

child.But,I don't know ehat else to do.She on no medication,she

nonverbal,and I homeschool her.She does ok with that.But thats

another step of her yelling at me.Beause I can't tell her to do her

work are she starts and she want stop until I tell her its OK.Thats

everytime she yells I have to she it OK.But,I can't do it all the

time,because she'll never understand whats right and whats wrong.I

think she going through puberty she 11yrs old.I can relate on what

your going through.So I'm pleading for some HELP too.PLEASE PLEASE!!!!

tootie

-

-- In Autism_in_Girls , " Berry "

wrote:

>

> This started around two years ago. Yes I think prepuberty time

frame.

> No medications and has some verbal skills. She falls in the

moderate

> range of autism. She is in an autism program through our County now

> and it is pretty good this year so far. They seem to think it is a

> lot of fear and anxiety she has. Things you have mentioned about

your

> daughter decribes my daughter. I think she replays a lot in her

head.

> Things just seem to build up and than she explodes. She was

screaming

> a lot for three days before this last explosion happened. I also

have

> my husband with me as much as possible when I have to take her

> somewhere with me. I wonder how I can help so that things don't

build

> up the way they do.

>

> Thanks

>

> >

> > oh yes - I have soooo been through all of this and much

more.There

> is so

> > much that could be involved and I'm sure others on the list will

ask

> > questions and fill in with other perspectives. Is this a new

> development

> > that has just started with the onset of puberty? Is she

currently

> on any

> > medications? Is she verbal? Where exactly do you think she is on

> the

> > spectrum - low - medium - high? The best is to be able to

prevent

> the

> > aggression in the first place, because once an episode starts my

> daughter

> > can go full tilt adrenaline pumping for 45-60 minutes. For my

> daughter

> > much of the aggression is linked to fear and anxiety. My

daughter

> is

> > verbal, but can not always express what is bothering her

especially

> at

> > the time - maybe later - maybe. Best of course is to know the

> cause of

> > the anxiety and be able to explain (maybe social stories) why she

> should

> > not be afraid etc but in the mean time you have to try to avoid

the

> > causes. My daughter is afraid of fireworks, fire drills, fire

> engines,

> > thunder and lightening, animals that move quickly to name a few.

> Over

> > the years my daughter has developed coping skills, but if not

> destressed,

> > she can build up and just explode suddenly for seemingly " no

> reason " . I

> > think you will find from others on the spectrum here that they

can

> also

> > " replay " an incident from the past like a movie complete with

> emotions

> > attached. You must observe carefully and document what your

> daughters

> > triggers are if she can't tell you. If you know what soothes or

> calms

> > her then use these to destress her if you know she has had some

> triggers

> > that can cause her anxiety or build them in as a regular part of

her

> > schedule. Worst case is she has lost control and become

> aggressive. At

> > her age she could be extremely difficult to control. Also if it

> helps, I

> > believe that she may not always even remember all the details of

> what she

> > is doing - like a black out. We had to resort to never traveling

> alone -

> > always having at least 2 people to either restrain or one does

> their best

> > to restrain or at least keep them safe while the other goes for

> help. I

> > have found that keeping a soft blanket handy to throw over her or

> > sometimes wrap her so you don't have to deal with all four limbs

> and a

> > head that can seriously bite you. There are techniques that the

> schools

> > use like skip (not sure of spelling) but require more than one

> person.

> > Like I said there could be much involved - feel free to email me

> off list

> > if you want.Loren HofmeisterDad to Lara (16 m-hfa) and Josh (18

NT)

> >

> > Hard time dealing with daughters

> > aggression

> > Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:52:39 -0000

> >

> > Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle

> it. I

> > am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

> > scratched

> > me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side

> of my

> > face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to

anyone

> > else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling

> kind

> > of

> > sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont

> think I

> > am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things

> happen

> > to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> > needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is

as

> > big

> > as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some

possitive

> > words.

> >

November 30, 2008

Tootie, we've all been there. I've tried spanking too and have felt

horrible for it, like you said, we run out of knowing what to do. But

she has to learn she cannot yell at you or others. Do you have any ABA

people in your community? How are the schools there? I am a strong

supporters of homeschoolers, but if things are miserable and her

aggressions are getting worse instead of better, it's very okay for

you to get help. The goal is to make things better for her. It's okay

as a mom not to know what to do. This is one reason I've yet to

homeschool, I see so many things the school staff do that are great

with Allie, I just don't think I have those abilities at this point.

Sometimes I feel really bad about it, but the truth is she needs

others, I cannot provide her 100% of what she needs.

A dear friend pulled her child because of unsafe conditions at her

child's school. During that time of homeschooling they were miserable,

the mom just didn't have the skills to handle the behaviors. But since

they found a good, intensive program for their child, who had lots of

aggressions, hitting, screaming, etc, life has gotten so much better

for them all, including their child with autism.

HTH,

Debi

November 30, 2008

Hi

I live in uk and work in a school for children with ASD, SLD and

challenging behaviours. the students have been excluded from other

schools. they board for 39 weeks of the year-only going home during

school holidays.

First of all you need to figure out why she is being aggressive. If

you can do this then you will hopefully know the best way to deal

with it. there are 5 functions of behaviour

" pain "

" tangible " wanting to gain access to something (for example food)

" demand avoidance " not wanting to do what is being asked

" sensory " liking/not liking how something feels/tastes/smell/sounds

" escape " trying to get away froma situation.

As for short term " restraint " i have a few tips to help you.

1) Gloves and long sleeved tops- these will help protect your hands

and arms from scratchs.

2) try wrapping her in a blanket- this may help you to be close to

her if thats what you feels she needs a times of crisis but also

protect you from injury.

3) give her space- if posible leave the room or take her to a room

she can be left in without causing herself injury.

4)reduce your language-try not to say anything or use only key words

to get your point accross " ........sit " " ...........stop " .

try not to expect her to respond to you at times of crisis. give her

time to process what you have said.

MOST IMPORTANTLY.......DON'T GIVE IN. If her behvaiour gets her what

she wants then she will never change it because it works i.e.

scrtaching and biting gets me what i want.

Remember she still has a lot of growing to do-its far easier to

change behavior while she is small-imagine her at her worse not but

she is 18 and bigger and heavier than you.

hope this is a help

>

> Hi I was wondering how you all, dealing with aggression, handle it.

I

> am having a real hard time after our episode last night. She

scratched

> me up pretty good. This time she gave me a good one on the side of

my

> face. Not to mention my arms and hands. Does this happen to anyone

> else? I am embarrassed to go out of my house. I am also feeling

kind of

> sad about it. I know I should not take it personal and I dont think

I

> am but I am feeling a little heart broken because these things

happen

> to us. Is there certain teqhniques you all use to restrain those

> needing to be restrained? If so could you share. My daughter is as

big

> as me at 11 and a half. Thanks, I think I just need some possitive

> words.

>

November 30, 2008

Hi Debi

Thanks for your comment.I took her out of school because she has

been through 3 different school sence she was 3yrs. old.And I fought

my butt off for her needs.But,nothing changed at all.I was wasting

her time of learning and she was get older.And she was learning

nothing being in school.Tell you the truth I wish I would have home

schooled her when she was 3yrs.Since I've been schooling her she

learned alot with me one on one.Her behavior has just got bad here in

the last 2 yrs.She even was yelling when she went to school.And I

love homeschooling her its just her focus is fading away.We've been

going through alot lately with her getting off medication and being

constipated.The risperdal wasn't working anymore.Shes been off of it

for 4 weeks now.And the only thing I see different is more tics.The

yelling,stimming was there before she started the riperdal and shes

been on it for 4yrs.I guess its may fault for even putting her on

it.You can say it was a way out of the problems.And now I want to try

to teach her myself and I know I can do it if I can get her to focus

on me and learning.I would just love to say things to her without her

yelling at me.We are trying to find some ABA in this area.But,I don't

think were going to have any luck.But I want stop praying that some

thing will come along.I know alot of parent say autism is my life and

I have to agree with that we eat,sleep,dream autism.Well I do.If any

one could give more information this way I would appreciate it very

much. Thanks tootie

>

> Tootie, we've all been there. I've tried spanking too and have felt

> horrible for it, like you said, we run out of knowing what to do.

But

> she has to learn she cannot yell at you or others. Do you have any

ABA

> people in your community? How are the schools there? I am a strong

> supporters of homeschoolers, but if things are miserable and her

> aggressions are getting worse instead of better, it's very okay for

> you to get help. The goal is to make things better for her. It's

okay

> as a mom not to know what to do. This is one reason I've yet to

> homeschool, I see so many things the school staff do that are great

> with Allie, I just don't think I have those abilities at this point.

> Sometimes I feel really bad about it, but the truth is she needs

> others, I cannot provide her 100% of what she needs.

>

> A dear friend pulled her child because of unsafe conditions at her

> child's school. During that time of homeschooling they were

miserable,

> the mom just didn't have the skills to handle the behaviors. But

since

> they found a good, intensive program for their child, who had lots

of

> aggressions, hitting, screaming, etc, life has gotten so much better

> for them all, including their child with autism.

>

> HTH,

> Debi

>

November 30, 2008

Something I did here is start a behavior notebook tracking what

happened just before, during, and after an unwanted behavior. I

learned it was actually me that was the problem, I was getting fearful

of her outbursts and got negative in my tone & demeanor. Once I

changed myself to cheery & pleasant -- and boy, is that one hard to do

when I think I'm about to provoke a meltdown -- the behaviors

decreased over time.

I cannot remember where I read it, maybe was here, that when screaming

starts to have a large stop sign and hold it in front of her face as a

visual cue the behavior should stop.

Is she hyper? Sometimes a good physical time, like maybe 1/2 jumping

on a trampoline or swinging before you engage her might help calm her

first.

In my neck of the woods SLPs are good with ABA-based speech, don't

know if that would help you or not. Maybe OT?

Is she gfcf? You think she's having physical gut pain? What about

calming neurotransmitter supplements? Sometimes GABA can help,

sometimes b-6 & magnesium. There are several combos of vits/minerals

that may help. Sometimes a nightly soak in epsom salts in her bath

water can help. Does she sleep well at night? If not, that might

increase aggression, sometimes melatonin or 5-htp can help.

Just brainstorming,

Debi

November 30, 2008

Hi ,

I haven't posted on this list in years but I'll put in my two cents.

My daughter is 20 and we went through a period of time when she was

very aggressive and had self injurious behaviors.

The " experts " did extinction and then finally restraints which put

her right over the edge. High point was when she chased a therapist

right out of our home program, up the stairs and out the door.

Well anyway she needed to be controlled without her associating a

person with a restraint. Because the last thing anyone needed to do

was piss her off. I made her sit in a chair with her arms on her

knees and put one of those long body pillows over her arms. She had

to be sitting and me standing so I had the leverage needed to keep

her in the chair.

As long as she was trying to hit her self or aggress I would put

pressure on the pillow, holding her arms down, it gave her deep

pressure which she craved. As soon as she stopped trying to raise her

arms I would remove pressure from the pillow, and just tell her that

I would not let her hit me or hurt herself, if she tried to hit the

pressure was replaced. The bottom line was I told her I wasn't going

to let her hit and she would stay in the chair until she calmed down.

Pretty soon when she started to " go " I would tell her to sit in her

chair and get her pillow. She would lay the pillow over her arms

herself and hug it. It became a stress reliever for her.

Might be worth a shot. Hang in there. You are dealing with puberty

right now so things will get rough. It evens out.

If hormones are causing some of this. I found Vitamin B-6 and

Magnesium lowers estrogen levels and helps calm them down.

November 30, 2008

>

> Hi ,

>

> I haven't posted on this list in years but I'll put in my two

cents.

> My daughter is 20 and we went through a period of time when she was

> very aggressive and had self injurious behaviors.

>

> The " experts " did extinction and then finally restraints which put

> her right over the edge. High point was when she chased a therapist

> right out of our home program, up the stairs and out the door.

>

> Well anyway she needed to be controlled without her associating a

> person with a restraint. Because the last thing anyone needed to do

> was piss her off. I made her sit in a chair with her arms on her

> knees and put one of those long body pillows over her arms. She

had

> to be sitting and me standing so I had the leverage needed to keep

> her in the chair.

>

> As long as she was trying to hit her self or aggress I would put

> pressure on the pillow, holding her arms down, it gave her deep

> pressure which she craved. As soon as she stopped trying to raise

her

> arms I would remove pressure from the pillow, and just tell her

that

> I would not let her hit me or hurt herself, if she tried to hit the

> pressure was replaced. The bottom line was I told her I wasn't

going

> to let her hit and she would stay in the chair until she calmed

down.

>

> Pretty soon when she started to " go " I would tell her to sit in her

> chair and get her pillow. She would lay the pillow over her arms

> herself and hug it. It became a stress reliever for her.

>

> Might be worth a shot. Hang in there. You are dealing with puberty

> right now so things will get rough. It evens out.

>

> If hormones are causing some of this. I found Vitamin B-6 and

> Magnesium lowers estrogen levels and helps calm them down.

>

December 1, 2008

Loren, You live on Long Island, too? How old is your daughter now? We live in

Rocky Point and our daughter is 8 years old.......Lee

________________________________

To: Autism_in_Girls

Sent: Wednesday, November 26, 2008 4:59:43 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Hard time dealing with daughters aggression