Guest guest Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. I did go over and talk to the wife today. She is devastated and did not believe at first, but when I told her some of the details of what he said and did to me, she started to believe. Right now, I am waiting for an off-duty police officer who is a friend of mine to come over and talk about it. Wyatt is at my friend's house for the night because I have to be at the hospital pretty early for my Remicade infusion. First one. I feel horrible and am mad at myself for feeling the way I do. Wyatt is the most important person in my life and is so precious to me. So why do I feel so bad about bringing this out in the open and protecting him. The wife is a dear sweet person and her world has just been destroyed and it will get worse after I talk to the police. This man works at the state prison in the next county and he will lose his job if charges are filed. I know that this is not my concern, but I am aware of the mess that could come of this. There are a lot of sick people in this world and they always seem to find my back yard. LOL. I'm not really laughing, I'm kind of in a haze right now. My stomach hurts and I know it is from the stress of all this. I just wanted to let you all know what has happened today. I have done the right thing and I need to stand up for my son. I believe what he says and I am so very proud of him right now that I could bust. My trust in him has never been greater. He knows that he did the right thing, but he just doesn't want to tell anyone else about it and I can understand that. I am going to close now and try to get some rest. Like I said earlier, I have to be at the hosp in the morning for the first Remicade infusion. Wish me luck. I'm pretty nervous about that too. Hope you all have a calm and pain free night. Love you all Stacey in PA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Dearest Stacey....I am proud of you, too! Too many people turn a blind eye to things, and then they get worse. I know how hard it was to speak to his wife. I have had to do similar things when my kids were little. It can be agonizing. But if " we " don't address it, who will? I think you're a GREAT mom. God bless you & Wyatt bunches. A Bazillion Hugs... Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 ((((((((((((((((((((Stacey)))))))))))))))))))))) Boy, that certainly is a no-win situation. If you do nothing, you're putting your son and other children in the neighborhood at risk. And telling the wife and the police has a lot of repercussions, as well. I really feel you made the right choice. Sometimes the right thing isn't easy, but protecting children is paramount. I'll be praying that your Remicade infusion goes well. I'm so excited for you! Love and hugs, Carol [ ] Nasty Neighbor--update I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. I did go over and talk to the wife today. She is devastated and did not believe at first, but when I told her some of the details of what he said and did to me, she started to believe. Right now, I am waiting for an off-duty police officer who is a friend of mine to come over and talk about it. Wyatt is at my friend's house for the night because I have to be at the hospital pretty early for my Remicade infusion. First one. I feel horrible and am mad at myself for feeling the way I do. Wyatt is the most important person in my life and is so precious to me. So why do I feel so bad about bringing this out in the open and protecting him. The wife is a dear sweet person and her world has just been destroyed and it will get worse after I talk to the police. This man works at the state prison in the next county and he will lose his job if charges are filed. I know that this is not my concern, but I am aware of the mess that could come of this. There are a lot of sick people in this world and they always seem to find my back yard. LOL. I'm not really laughing, I'm kind of in a haze right now. My stomach hurts and I know it is from the stress of all this. I just wanted to let you all know what has happened today. I have done the right thing and I need to stand up for my son. I believe what he says and I am so very proud of him right now that I could bust. My trust in him has never been greater. He knows that he did the right thing, but he just doesn't want to tell anyone else about it and I can understand that. I am going to close now and try to get some rest. Like I said earlier, I have to be at the hosp in the morning for the first Remicade infusion. Wish me luck. I'm pretty nervous about that too. Hope you all have a calm and pain free night. Love you all Stacey in PA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Dear Stacey...What a great mom Wyatt has! I know that it was very hard for you to tell your friend but I am sure that coming from you it was easier than coming from the next person he does something like that to. I am glad that you have a friend that is a police officer as a warning from him could deter any repercussion. I will include your friend in my prayers tonight. I faced a similar situation with my ex when sexual harrassment charges were filed. First you are devastated and then you are hurt and angry. She will need your friendship so I hope that she won't want to shoot the messenger. It is so wonderful that you believed Wyatt and that you have clear channel of communication with him. Please try not to feel bad as you were protecting your son...you did the right thing for you and Wyatt! I wish you a restful night. Iris -- bintherdunit@... wrote: > I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my > heart. I did go over and > talk to the wife today. She is devastated and did > not believe at first, but > when I told her some of the details of what he said > and did to me, she > started to believe. Right now, I am waiting for an > off-duty police officer > who is a friend of mine to come over and talk about > it. Wyatt is at my > friend's house for the night because I have to be at > the hospital pretty > early for my Remicade infusion. First one. I feel > horrible and am mad at > myself for feeling the way I do. Wyatt is the most > important person in my > life and is so precious to me. So why do I feel so > bad about bringing this > out in the open and protecting him. The wife is a > dear sweet person and her > world has just been destroyed and it will get worse > after I talk to the > police. This man works at the state prison in the > next county and he will > lose his job if charges are filed. I know that this > is not my concern, but I > am aware of the mess that could come of this. There > are a lot of sick people > in this world and they always seem to find my back > yard. LOL. I'm not > really laughing, I'm kind of in a haze right now. > My stomach hurts and I > know it is from the stress of all this. > > I just wanted to let you all know what has happened > today. I have done the > right thing and I need to stand up for my son. I > believe what he says and I > am so very proud of him right now that I could bust. > My trust in him has > never been greater. He knows that he did the right > thing, but he just > doesn't want to tell anyone else about it and I can > understand that. I am > going to close now and try to get some rest. > > Like I said earlier, I have to be at the hosp in the > morning for the first > Remicade infusion. Wish me luck. I'm pretty > nervous about that too. Hope > you all have a calm and pain free night. > Love you all > Stacey in PA > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Stacey, Good for you. I am proud of you (and Wyatt). Who knows what pain this man could have also caused down the road. Unfortunately, we live in a society now where we must confront things like this. The wife was probably already aware of his conduct and that's why she believed you. I am sure you weren't the first woman he has done this to. Don't feel bad. You did the right thing. Try not to be too stressed (easy for me to say) and good luck with the infusion today. All my love, Al in IL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Hi , Sorry I'm late in posting this, but I had a really bad flare last night and couldn't sit or type. I am so proud of you for doing what you did. I wish someone had done the same when I was a kid, as I was physically and sexually abused by a family member. When I grew up, I found out my mom knew all about it and blamed me, but let it continue! The wife is hurt now, but she and her son will recover. It is better for them to deal with things now and improve the quality of their lives. I hope the Remicade went well. Does it really help? I'm not on any medication but ibuprofen right now until the new doctor has reviewd all my tests. I want to have hope that things will improve some day. Hugs to you and your precious son, Judi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 <PRE>stacey, i am glad you talked to the wife and police. it is so very important for your child to know they can trust you. my son told me about his abuse at age 3. it was very hard to believe that a he would know anything about this. i also had to make the hardest decision in my life to make that call. unfortunatly the abuser (my husband) floated through the system. guess he went to his court appointed therapy sessions , but did not participate. due to dr/pt confidentiality this was never admitted in court. (or me) dcfs assured me that my husband was sick, and it was their job to help put our family back together. many court dates, counseling, job loss and about 6 years later, my husband commited suicide. this is when i found out that he was not participating and was also to be on anti depressents and he wasn't. 5 years later when my son broke down. i learned the abuse continued. got worse even. my son says he doesn't blame me because i did not know. i am glad wyatt came and talked to you. please keep those lines of communication open, always. just keep your eyes and ears open. it can happen without you evem knowing it. kathy in il hope i haven't upset someone. i'm sure this had alot to do with me being sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Hi Stacey: Yes, you did the right thing by telling the wife, and Wyatt did the right thing by telling you. I am sure that your police officer friend will also have good advice for you and will know what can be done legally. I am so glad that Wyatt was able to open up to you and let you know about what the neighbor said to him - other kids might not have told and who knows what would have happened then. He is a very brave boy and you are a wonderful protective mom. If the man looses his job, well he must be prepared to face the consequences of the sort of behavior he has exhibited and take responsibility for his own actions. He is the adult, Wyatt is the child and so far the child is the stronger one! Best of luck with your Remicade infusion - hope it works wonders for you! Kathe in CA __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 Dear Kathy, I am so sorry for what you and your son had to endure. I am sure that you have relived this in your mind so many times and I hope that you can realize that you were a victim as well as your son. I can't imagine what strength of courage it took for you to live through this and I hope that you are kind to yourself and realize that the guilt belonged to that sick man and not you. Many angels keep you and your son in their sight. Iris --- kringlemom@... wrote: > <PRE>stacey, i am glad you talked to the wife and > police. it is so very important > for your child to know they can trust you. my son > told me about his abuse at > age 3. it was very hard to believe that a he would > know anything about this. > i also had to make the hardest decision in my life > to make that call. > unfortunatly the abuser (my husband) floated through > the system. guess he > went to his court appointed therapy sessions , but > did not participate. due > to dr/pt confidentiality this was never admitted in > court. (or me) dcfs > assured me that my husband was sick, and it was > their job to help put our > family back together. many court dates, counseling, > job loss and about 6 > years later, my husband commited suicide. this is > when i found out that he > was not participating and was also to be on anti > depressents and he wasn't. 5 > years later when my son broke down. i learned the > abuse continued. got worse > even. my son says he doesn't blame me because i did > not know. i am glad wyatt > came and talked to you. please keep those lines of > communication open, > always. just keep your eyes and ears open. it can > happen without you evem > knowing it. kathy in il hope i haven't upset > someone. i'm sure this had alot > to do with me being sick. > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2002 Report Share Posted August 21, 2002 <PRE>thanks iris, people were so shocked that i was so calm after his death. but i felt i was free. i no longer had to sleep with one eye open. i was upset at the system that failed us. so many comments from them at how they had put us back together much too soon. (gee, ya think??) they really shouldn't let child sex offenders slip through the cracks. dan seems to be a pretty well adjusted young man now. he takes effexor. that really seems to help. pretty shy though. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2002 Report Share Posted August 21, 2002 Kathy...I think that one time is too many whether it is someone's children or not. Parental rights should be severed immediately. I understand what you mean about being free. I know that I would feel the same way and doubt that I would grieve for him. I'm glad that Dan is doing well. My 15 yr old daughter takes Effexor but doesn't want to be different so she sometimes stops taking it and that is not a pretty sight. She has an anger/agression disorder and it has been apparent since she was around 3. I've read and tried everything I can think of but until she decides that she has this disorder and must take her meds her life will not be easy. I truly wish I could take this disorder for her. Iris kringlemom@... wrote: > <PRE>thanks iris, people were so shocked that i was > so calm after his death. but i > felt i was free. i no longer had to sleep with one > eye open. i was upset at > the system that failed us. so many comments from > them at how they had put us > back together much too soon. (gee, ya think??) they > really shouldn't let > child sex offenders slip through the cracks. dan > seems to be a pretty well > adjusted young man now. he takes effexor. that > really seems to help. pretty > shy though. kathy in il > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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