The Art of Not Being Offended

[Guest guest]

The Art of Not Being OffendedThere

is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones

have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it

all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret

is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a

master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement,

action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their

total life experience to date.In other words, the majority of

people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of

fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even

when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has

more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few

times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when

they were young.Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let's face it,

we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go

around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a

spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as

spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the

study of the soul.All of that said, almost nothing is personal.

Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children

and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of

each other's life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the

chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in

reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy

from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every

time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding.A

true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less

suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are

just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right

psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we

don't have to take life personally. If it weren't us, it would likely

be someone else.This frees us to be a little more detached from

the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement

of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might

actually be hurting? In fact, every time we get offended, it is

actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who may be

suffering—even if they themselves do not appear that way on the

surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in

truth a form of suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick,

something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In

fact, it is usually better not to say a thing.People who are

suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually

not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do

not have to be our loved one's therapist. We need only understand the

situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves experience less

suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the world a better

place.This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves

to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not

allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is

personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the

world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse

can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. When we know

nothing is personal, we also do not end up feeling abused. We can say,

"Thank you for sharing," and move on. We are not hooked by what another

does or says, since we know it is not about us.When we know

that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or

believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if

necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for

ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and

worthy people.The

great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment,

regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art

of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical

mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of

the best kept secrets for living a happy life.By Dr. Jodi PrinzivalliLove to all~Karma

[Guest guest]

Beautiful, ! Thank you! Love to you, sage & sweet Sister! ~Ali~karmarqu69 <karmarqu69@...> wrote: The Art of Not Being OffendedThere is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date.In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few

times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let's face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other's life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a

misunderstanding.A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don't have to take life personally. If it weren't us, it would likely be someone else.This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? In fact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who may be suffering—even if they themselves do not appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of

suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing.People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one's therapist. We need only understand the situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the world a better place.This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal, we also do

not end up feeling abused. We can say, "Thank you for sharing," and move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since we know it is not about us.When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and worthy people.The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life.By Dr. Jodi

PrinzivalliLove to all~Karma

[Guest guest]

I have to respond again to this writing of the Art of Not Being Offended..I never quite understood how and why so many take things personally..All my life I never have.. Really, almost to the point of not getting it even when it was a personal attack upon me..Call me DAAAAAAAA! But now I see it as a free flowing gift.. I am so blind to taking things personally, that this gift I speak of is due to seeing everyone in loving light, in a positive and wonderful sweetness of their soul..I must admit that at times... I don't see hurt coming my way.. In fact it really has to knock me on my butt to see it..Then I get very Hurt!! Not because of the hurt, but because i didn't see it coming..This is the one thing I struggle with.. Forgiveness of myself.. Hard to explain this but, I have to forgive the hurt within and say to myself I am sorry you hurt..Forgive yourself for not seeing it coming.. I know I wasn't supposed

to..We shouldn't see it.. We should see only good.. But it is a struggle for many..and to forgive oneself for not seeing it coming I feel is the most important way of healing hurt..I have learned that this is a blessed gift.. To see and hear only good from others..And even now I read and hear from their soul first..Just thought I would share this.. Love to you all..~Karma

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