Championship Love vs. Self Hate

[Guest guest]

Championship Love vs. Self Hate

by and Peck

This is not something we readily admit, but consider this. When was

the last time you judged yourself with strong criticism, told

yourself that you weren't adequate or loveable or that you were

stupid? When was the last time you wouldn't let yourself off the

hook for something you did that you regretted doing? We rarely call

it self hate, but isn't this what it really is?

Few of us were ever taught how to really love ourselves or to treat

ourselves as our own very best friend. Socially, we're not taught

the value of loving ourselves. Yet, who better than you is more

qualified to give you consistent, rich love?

We're not talking about faking it by pretending you think you're

great when you really don't believe it or having a multi-level

defense system to protect your fragile feelings. We're talking about

learned self-love skills that are available to everyone. By

practicing these simple love skills you can forever disallow self

hate from returning. You can be large and in charge.

You deserve to be loved and not only by yourself but by others as

well. How can you do that? You can cherish your dreams, receive love

generously, create sacred time alone, honor and speak your feelings,

be visible, set boundaries and forgive yourself. This is a powerful

beginning towards loving yourself and you can practice these love

skills every day.

And you can go even higher. You can deliberately block any and all

hateful thoughts and attitudes (whether directed from yourself or

another) and you can welcome all loving thoughts and attitudes. Now

you're opening the channels for love to flow.

We were inspired recently by a TV dance contest, Dancing with the

Stars. We were interested to track the rapid progress of the amateur

participant's ability to learn the steps and moves by their powerful

attitude of " I am worthy. I can do this. I want to win! " This is

what we mean by championship love vs. self hate.

All the contestants went through enormous stress of hard and long

hours working every day to learn their dances. Each of them had it

equally difficult. Many of them were shown breaking down in tears

and walking away, later to return to rehearse more. It's smart and

sometimes helpful to give ourselves time out in order to calm down.

One amateur dancer, who was a professional athlete, was especially

impressive in expressing championship love for herself during a very

rough period of practicing with her partner. Tensions became high.

Her instructor even began to blame her and lay the entire burden of

their stress on her inability to learn fast enough. This was a time

his student, the amateur dancer, could actually have been greatly

benefited by encouragement and even comfort. Everyone could readily

relate to her being criticized and the hurt feelings that

immediately erupted.

She responded to the criticism by telling her instructor in a kind

yet firm way, that she did not want to waste her time on arguing.

She asked him to please continue to stay focused on teaching her and

deal with his inner frustration without projecting it on her. It was

brilliant! Rather than lashing back at him, she showed her inner

self respect and her championship abilities to override and overcome

the negative influence of being blamed and overly criticized. What a

great example of practicing championship love.

If she had reacted, both tempers would have become inflamed and an

argument would have escalated. By speaking up early in the

situation, she not only set the curve toward harmony and unity, but

her actions were also powerful with love, for herself as well as her

dance partner. We quickly realized how deeply ingrained were her

habits of positive thought towards herself and her unwillingness to

dive emotionally. What strength!

This is a beautiful example of the power of loving ourselves. She

gave herself nothing to regret later – no shame and nothing to

apologize for. Her attitude to have harmony with her dance partner

was essential to her goal of wining the contest. Love is expressed

through such powerful harmony.

Each of us has times of great stress and frustration, even what

feels almost unbearable. At these times, we can minimize the fallout

with love by remembering that we are a precious treasure and so is

everyone else. Each of us deserves to love ourselves and be loved.

And during those times that we blow it, we can still love ourselves

by offering self forgiveness, rather than self hate.

Each of us has the capacity to be wonderful to ourselves. Imagine a

world full of people who were good at offering themselves abundant

love. Each one would finally have a chance to shine past the anguish

of lost opportunities and time to recuperate. Each of us could

actually consider reaching our fullest potential through the power

of stopping self hate and starting self love. Welcome to the heart

of championship love.

© 2007 & Peck

Dr. Peck & Peck are co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a

non-profit organization " Calling everyone home to Love. " They are

authors of books on love and healing, including " Love Skills for

Personal & Global Transformation: Secrets of a Love Master. " Visit

www.TheLoveCenter.com. We are holding the space for you to receive

all the love you deserve!

Much love to you,

http://www.myspace.com/rarebreeze

http://www.myspace.com/asundayinjune

http://www.myspace.com/dnjazz

http://www.intentionalone.com

http://intentionalone.com/yabb/YaBB.pl

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" Breathe deep, walk slow, hold tight to those you love, for the sun

is setting and it will be over so fast. "

-- Ken Pierpont