scared, worried, depressed

January 17, 2008

Hello fellow stilligans,

Gosh, I hate all this. Yesterday I went for my reg pcp visit. I go to a

clinic based on financial need and even though I had a 10am appt and was there

on

time, I never was seen until 3PM. I'm pretty much used to that however,

although I had forgotten to take my meds in the morning and I was getting

hungry.

I went to a hot dog truck in the parking lot at 1 for a dog and it really

upset my tummy. By the time I got to the doctor, I felt like my heart was

racing and dizzy and that I was going to pass out. The nurse freaked when my

blood

pressure was really high and called the doctor from her lunch. They gave me

an ekg and apparently there are some abnormalities there and previous blood

tests show liver abnormalities as well. She wants me to see a cardiologist for

a stress test and to check the abnormalities. She also want a liver test as

well. I've never seen this woman look concerned for me before, she did now.

I'm freaking and depressed. I remember reading about the drug induced

stress test and how many of you said they were painful. Plus, at my weight, any

kind of heart surgery would be really hard on the doctors and on me. I just

don't know if I have it in me. Do I really want to keep fighting? If I do

nothing, or do I do something. I'm 55. I've done a ton of stuff. I've lead an

interesting life.

I know I'm sounding really doom and gloom and I'll probably feel better

and stronger tomorrow. But right now, I just don't care. Poor Al, he's

freaking at my apathy and says he'll kill me if I don't take care of this.

Funny!

Carole

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

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