RE: Elly and the anger (from Jo)

August 26, 2008

Elly,

You are HYSTERICAL!!!

and thank you for sharing your anger. That's not easy to do. But yeah,

it's real.

I think I'm still in denial. I just got diagnosed January of 2007. I was

sick on and off since 1997 and was looking very much like Lupus, plus my

sister was diagnosed with Lupus about 6 years ago. I never tested pos. for ANA

so

I never got that diagnosis but thank goodness I went to her Rheumy and he

hung in there with me until the puzzle was solved.

But I'm 43 years old, I'm an RN and I have 2 classes left to complete my

bachelor's degree. I still plan to take those two courses this semester even

though I'm unable to work!!! Imagine how people are talking behind my back!

(oh, she's too sick to work but she's not too sick to go to school!!!) But

really I AM too sick, I'm just refusing to give up on this. I fully intend to

get this degree or die trying! Plus, in my mind it will afford me the

opportunities in nursing that are NOT bedside nursing, which I just seriously

cannot do anymore. I'm just too sick to be turning patients and running around

like a nut! I need to first, get out of this flare, and second, find a nice

desk job somewhere, maybe part time. I just don't think I'll ever be able to

do full time again. This is my third attempt and each time it's been only a

matter of time before I crash and burn.

But angry I will be if I can't get out of this flare! it's been 4 months!

What's the norm here? I mean can I assume this will pass? I have a life to

live as we all do..... right now I waiver between being really hopeful and

excited for what my future is about to be.... then I do a reality check, yup,

still feverish, nope, can't stand up long... how am I supposed to take

advantage of this life in this shape? I can't go to work one day, never mind

start a new career and try to impress people and learn new stuff!

anyway, sorry so long winded

thanks for listening.

-Jo

In a message dated 8/26/2008 11:43:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

ellyandbilltroy@... writes:

headache,so if anyone says anything about not looking sick,I am going to say

I am suffering from terminal anger and they better get out of my way! Sorry

guys I am mourning the loss of who I once was and I'm in the anger phase

**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel

deal here.

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