Re: Confessions of a sad and silent observer...

August 24, 2007

Ok, I actually had to change computers, and pull up multiple windows,

to both see your letter and to reply. The older computer loves to

leave out the " a's " , " add g's to h's " and otherwise, simply erase

itself when I go to correct it.

That being said, welcome Ms.Observer. It seems to be the point of

observing where we find " the place " that draws us in to " respond " . As

someone myself that has not needed anyone from some outside source,

because I had learned to " survive " behind my tattered amour I had

created, much was hidden from others. I saw no point in expressing

what was there, or how it even got there. I didn't want to look myself.

What could my life possibly offer to others, when I had hated most of

it. And while I felt compelled to write my life story someday, I put

it off. Even then, I figured it was ego speaking....I might get rich,

become famous, be somebody...until I'd think about what my life had

been...and then, I'd have to ask...who the hell would be interested in

my life...I'm not interested in it.

As far as writing, I've always done it. If I ventured to guess...I've

filled at least 10,000 notebooks. [no way], yes way...since about the

age of maybe 9 or 10...I've written. Now, in moving around alot,

traveling, thefts, fires and the like, most of those are gone

now...even though now, there must be several bins and boxes crammed

full of more. Half of them I can't read now, as they were written in

drunken stupors or " medicated " states of awareness, when everything

just seemed to flow. I might have a cure for every illness in them

somewhere, but I wouldn't know...lol

I've offered to have transcribe some of them for me and create

a book or two, and maybe, just maybe, our lives could be just a little

better financially and otherwise....but then, trying to transcribe

those things would be like me trying to read ancient text.... " wHaT???

I have discovered, more and more though, that, maybe some of the

things that have happened in my life, did matter, not entirely to me,

but to others...somehow, there was a way to relate to people

now...mostly in an empathic way.

We all tend to hide behind lots of masks and appear to be " together " ,

" having it down " , " on top of things " . And very few of us do. There's a

ton of garbage, personal drama and issues behind all this. We fear

" being found out " , that we aren't as " something " as we try to project.

As an example, some have went out to a rental center, and leased

overpriced cheap stuff, so they can appear more successful to friends

and family, yet, when no ones there, they sit worried how to pay for

it, stressed over their jobs, and eating oatmeal pies, cause their

broke, and owe.

We get defeated by our own projecting and maintaining an illusion we

have created.

These illusions are REAL, to US. It's " where we live " . And we " do not

know ourselves " .

This is where meditation comes into play. And IT'S EASY to do. The

thing that is hard to us is the " letting go " . We want to hold on to

everything...we may need it...we've learned to survive by " holding

on " . In meditation, it's time " to observe " . To relax and watch as

these thoughts pass through our mind. If we attach to one of them, it

becomes " thinking " ...and that allows other " like thoughts " to attach

to it. That's not what we want here.

Let them go...see them, take no action, let it be. As one goes,

another will take it's place...it will be like static at first...but

let them go...one by one, fewer and fewer will come in...what you are

seeing is the static of the universe...these are thoughts in the

collective....most are NOT EVEN YOURS.

This is how people make personal issues of what's taking place all

around them...they are " becoming " something else. Not themselves.

Slowly, all thought will pass...and to help in this...if we must do

anything...just say " Love " . In fact, all through the day...there are

only two words you will ever need.

Love...think it, think Love...just the word for now...it may seem to

get old...but what it's doing is getting stuck....you don't mind being

stuck with Love do ya? The other word is " Clear " . Since all thoughts,

words, start attracting others like it, when we catch ourselves having

such thoughts, say " clear " . We know within, this means to " disengage " ,

giving " no power " .

Sure, it seems weird at first...but let me say, from someone who has

always had a mind " full of thoughts " , trying to pick apart

everything...it works.

But how do you watch for theses thoughts? You meditate...the practice

of " no thought " . When I meditate...I practice " no thought " . I let it

go. It is different when I choose to meditate the sending of love...my

focus is on love and nothing else, feeling it become every cell in my

body, and mind, and soul...then sending it to everything that comes to

mind, and filling that with all the love it requires, and this can be

felt.

Just practice...there is no right or wrong way to do this. Get that

out right now. The very act of it is telling your whole being how your

choosing to do things now, not simply reacting to what comes in.

Write! You write about you and your experiences, even if no other ever

sees it. It's good in helping in emptying the mind. It helps to see

exactly what's within.

And something else, at least as I've discovered it...my whole life,

the things I've had to say...they came out, as they did, when I was

responding to " others " . When I put myself aside, and used, from my

experiences, to help another, to offer something that might be of

help, or to show, " they " weren't the only ones. In doing this, I have

found, that it takes care of what I had been focusing on....me.

When my focus became love for others, my " stuff " vanished...it was

transmuted, dissolved into nothingness. It allowed release.

And while I've done this in other ways before...it was here, this very

group, that allowed me to express more of me, in thinking of others.

It was here, mostly, that what was the real me within, flowed freely.

I put the amour aside, have become, vulnerable. And in doing so, I

have met with nothing but Love.

Yes, I still have my own issues I content with and work through, but I

find, sharing it, in service to another, makes all the differences.

So, you see, you are most welcomed here...we've been waiting for

you...to teach us, what only you can. " Learning is best done, by

Teaching " . It is the same thing.

When you came through that door over there, something happened...your

amour melted right off of you...you became vulnerable and felt

exposed, and, you were overwhelmed with love. This is why it took a

little time to see, to feel...this was so different...so, where you

belong.

Welcome home sweetie...we've been waiting.

Love D~

>

> Hello, Greeting and Good Day to all!!

>

> This is my first post to the group (or to any group for that matter).

> More importantly it is my way of introducing myself (which selfishly i

> feel is more for my benefit than for yours) but in the purest form of

> honesty it is nothing more than the confessions of a sad and silent

> observer...

>

> I was invited to join this wonderful group over two months ago when i

> contacted for some much needed energy and healing. This is my

> very first experience with a " group " and i must say just joining made me

> feel a little " odd " (i mean after all, aren't " groups " and " chat rooms "

> for pervs and weirdo's and people that don't have REAL lives???... WRONG

> ). But i was desperate and in need of information and here it

> was waiting for me, all i had to do was log on and get it. So to be

> perfectly honest, i joined, got what i needed and didn't log in for like

> two weeks after that. I kept getting the bulletins and just archiving

> them away but then something happened and one night when in my sorrow i

> felt inspired to read i actually opened one and read all of the

> beautiful poems, inspirations, endearing stories, insightful thoughts

> and communications of love that abounded inside!! WOW! I don't know

> what's wrong with me... or with my brain (truly a ramble for anouther

> time and anouther place). I had so many tools arriving daily here in my

> inbox and yet in my pathetic state of depression i was so lost that i

> hadn't the strength to just click and read...

>

> SO after many conversations with my dear friends Ali and Liane and after

> much much time spend journaling and reflecting and trying to meditate

> (and i do mean TRYING because how does one actually clear the mind of

> all thoughts anywayz... i haven't figured that one out yet!) i have

> slowly begun to find myself again and i have come to realize that i now

> have enough strength (i think) and a whole hearted desire to begin

> participating in this group (or at least trying to)!

>

> I actually have been introduced to this group (all-be-it not formally)

> via a request for prayer posted with love by Ali (so many thanks!! you

> beautiful precious soul!) about a month ago... i'm the girl being

> stalked and harassed by the (lets just say) " not-so-enlightened-being "

> (was that a nice enough way to state it?!), Mom very sick, no job,

> bankruptcy, foreclosure, love of my life – soul mate – beloved

> boyfriend deported and, totally lost wreck... yep, that's me lately. As

> a result of that post I received an outpouring of love and light and

> energy beyond what i thought imaginable. You people are awe inspiring

> and inspirational beyond what mere words can relay (and i mean that with

> every ounce of love i have to muster!). I remember silently reading

> each reply to that post and literally trembling with tears, body

> shaking, full forced weeping in my sadness and thinking to myself " how

> in the world could you actually feel (i mean the real thing... feel!)

> love by these " strangers " (as after all i have met in person none of you

> and being silent for so long have not even had the opportunity to

> exchange thoughts or words with you)?? Really... i felt love transcend

> the monitor of my lil ol laptop and touch my heart. At the time it was

> so painful to even THINK i could be lovable, feeling it was a shock that

> my system honestly just could not take. I was shook and i was (more

> importantly) i was forever CHANGED...

>

> So (pity party over) here i sit now, over a month later, still deep in

> depression, turmoil and struggle (as nothing has actually materially

> changed in my life's situation) but different in that i now feel

> inspired to " talk " . (baby steps are good! As you can see from this

> first post of mine, i tend to be verbose without necessity and interject

> thoughts and feeling all over the place and feel it is okay to do so as

> long as i parenthesize to punctuate the thing (to all of those scholarly

> in the art of written language i do humbly apologize).

>

> So what am i actually tying to say here??

>

> 1. To all of you beautiful wonderful caring people who reached out to

> me in response to that prayer request, i want to apologize for taking a

> month to show my appreciation to you and to give you thanks for the

> selfless act of kindness you so graciously gave to me. You truly and

> literally have contributed to saving my life! and i will forever be

> grateful to you for receiving those precious gifts of words in my

> darkest hour. If i am lucky i will be blessed enough to give back and

> to touch outhers in the same way that you have touched me.

>

> 2. I have a lot to say but i have so much more to learn. I don't

> really know where i am along my path of understanding because i have

> managed to lose myself. At one point i felt that i embodied some form

> of insight and i'd like to think that some of that will come back to me

> as i send my thoughts and feelings and contributions over cyberspace. I

> would like to think that as my strength is restored and i can find that

> part of me that i miss so terribly that these feelings of being

> bewildered and lost will vanish. Basically i see myself as a " baby " lil

> spirit fragile and tender but eyes wide and mind open and anxious to

> absorb and learn and take in all that is out there.

>

> 3. I have made a commitment to myself and to a dear dear friend *wink*

> that i will be active in this group and i would like to know to which

> topics you all seem to find most intriguing, most difficult to

> understand, most illusive and in the most need of attention?? I ask

> because i want to start my rambling form of contributions along those

> lines. I want to make a difference here and i mean that sincerely... so

> the scientist in me says " now... if your gonna do it, do it right " .

> Right to me, means finding out where to start and the only way to do

> that is by asking.

>

> SO properly... if you have managed to read my ramble this far... i would

> like to introduce myself. My name is . I am currently in

> Southern Cali (Anaheim) although frankly i don't know where i live right

> now, or where my life is going. I can tell you though, it can only get

> better! My formal education and two former careers have been in the

> fields of Marine Biology (field research) and in Real Estate (investing

> in what is lovingly called " ugly houses " ). I am 31. I was a

> competitive ice skater as a child and am now a competitive ballroom

> dancer as an adult. I love music of all kinds and proof of that can be

> seen in my collection of CD's numbering in the 1500's about now and in

> my expression of music via the piano. I am a certified cake decorator

> because i felt that my life was not well rounded enough and i tend to be

> someone who is consistently living too much on the serious side of life.

> I am technically single and i have no children although i have

> unconditionally given my love to a man whom remains in my life in a very

> complicated and confusing way. I admit to being a bit too analytical

> for my own good sometimes and i am one of those dreaded people who dares

> to ask the question " WHY " about almost everything.

>

> So with all of that said i suppose i am officially " out of the closet "

> of silence. I welcome any and all comments to everything i dare to

> post. I look forward to growing personal relationships with as many of

> you as i can. I aspire to show compassion and love in a way even half

> as lovely as that consistently shown by Ali and Luna, i aspire to become

> a writer even half as good as but mostly i aspire to simply

> connect and grow into a better form of myself and look forward to doing

> so in t he company of this precious group. Liane and have started

> something here that has already accomplished (whether they know it or

> not) their goal of changing and touching lives (Thank You for being the

> beautiful caring loving people that you are!!) and i am so grateful that

> the universe has placed me here in the company of such greatness!!

>

> I love all of you already and this " relationship " has only begun!!

>

> Thank you for your gifts of time in reading this and thank you for your

> infinite gifts of love and wisdom.

>

> May only peace hold your hand today and always!

>

> Namaste

>

> Jus me ~ C

>

August 25, 2007

Hello Sweet !Thanks so very much for coming out of the proverbial closet to share your tale with us all. I thank you as your friend and Sis, but also as a member of this Family here on at HH. *warm hug*I applaud your courage and your honesty, your warmth and the radiance of your Soul to share freely what you live, what you feel, what you hope for... I love you very much and welcome "home" as so beautifully and gently put it. ~Ali~cynag7 <cgaganis@...> wrote: Hello, Greeting and Good Day to all!! This is my first post to the group (or to any group for that matter). More importantly it is my way of introducing myself (which selfishly i feel is more for my benefit than for yours) but in the purest form of honesty it is nothing more than the confessions of a sad and silent observer... I was invited to join this wonderful group over two months ago when i contacted for some much needed energy and healing. This is my very first experience with a "group" and i must say just joining made me feel a little "odd" (i mean after all, aren't "groups" and "chat rooms" for pervs and weirdo's and people that don't have REAL lives???... WRONG ). But i was desperate and in need of information and here it was waiting for me, all i had to do was log on and get it. So to be perfectly honest, i joined, got what i needed and didn't log in for like two weeks after that. I kept getting the bulletins and just archiving them away but then something happened and one night when in my sorrow i felt inspired to read i actually opened one and read all of the beautiful poems, inspirations, endearing stories, insightful thoughts and communications of love that abounded inside!! WOW! I don't know what's

wrong with me... or with my brain (truly a ramble for anouther time and anouther place). I had so many tools arriving daily here in my inbox and yet in my pathetic state of depression i was so lost that i hadn't the strength to just click and read... SO after many conversations with my dear friends Ali and Liane and after much much time spend journaling and reflecting and trying to meditate (and i do mean TRYING because how does one actually clear the mind of all thoughts anywayz... i haven't figured that one out yet!) i have slowly begun to find myself again and i have come to realize that i now have enough strength (i think) and a whole hearted desire to begin participating in this group (or at least trying to)! I actually have been introduced to this group (all-be-it not formally) via a request for prayer posted with love by Ali (so many thanks!! you beautiful precious soul!) about a month ago... i'm the girl being stalked and harassed by the (lets just say) "not-so-enlightened-being" (was that a nice enough way to state it?!), Mom very sick, no job, bankruptcy, foreclosure, love of my life – soul mate – beloved boyfriend deported and, totally lost wreck... yep, that's me lately. As a result of that post I received an outpouring of love and light and energy beyond what i thought imaginable. You people are awe inspiring and inspirational beyond what mere words can relay (and i mean that with every ounce of love i have to muster!). I remember silently

reading each reply to that post and literally trembling with tears, body shaking, full forced weeping in my sadness and thinking to myself "how in the world could you actually feel (i mean the real thing... feel!) love by these "strangers" (as after all i have met in person none of you and being silent for so long have not even had the opportunity to exchange thoughts or words with you)?? Really... i felt love transcend the monitor of my lil ol laptop and touch my heart. At the time it was so painful to even THINK i could be lovable, feeling it was a shock that my system honestly just could not take. I was shook and i was (more importantly) i was forever CHANGED... So (pity party over) here i sit now, over a month later, still deep in depression,

turmoil and struggle (as nothing has actually materially changed in my life's situation) but different in that i now feel inspired to "talk". (baby steps are good! As you can see from this first post of mine, i tend to be verbose without necessity and interject thoughts and feeling all over the place and feel it is okay to do so as long as i parenthesize to punctuate the thing (to all of those scholarly in the art of written language i do humbly apologize). So what am i actually tying to say here?? 1. To all of you beautiful wonderful caring people who reached out

to me in response to that prayer request, i want to apologize for taking a month to show my appreciation to you and to give you thanks for the selfless act of kindness you so graciously gave to me. You truly and literally have contributed to saving my life! and i will forever be grateful to you for receiving those precious gifts of words in my darkest hour. If i am lucky i will be blessed enough to give back and to touch outhers in the same way that you have touched me. 2. I have a lot to say but i have so much more to learn. I don't really know where i am along my path of understanding because i have managed to lose myself. At one point i felt that i embodied some form of insight and i'd like to think that some of that will come back to

me as i send my thoughts and feelings and contributions over cyberspace. I would like to think that as my strength is restored and i can find that part of me that i miss so terribly that these feelings of being bewildered and lost will vanish. Basically i see myself as a "baby" lil spirit fragile and tender but eyes wide and mind open and anxious to absorb and learn and take in all that is out there. 3. I have made a commitment to myself and to a dear dear friend *wink* that i will be active in this group and i would like to know to which topics you all seem to find most intriguing, most difficult to understand, most illusive and in the most need of attention?? I ask because i want to start my rambling form of contributions along those lines.

I want to make a difference here and i mean that sincerely... so the scientist in me says "now... if your gonna do it, do it right". Right to me, means finding out where to start and the only way to do that is by asking. SO properly... if you have managed to read my ramble this far... i would like to introduce myself. My name is . I am currently in Southern Cali (Anaheim) although frankly i don't know where i live right now, or where my life is going. I can tell you though, it can only get better! My formal education and two former careers have been in the fields of Marine Biology (field research) and in Real Estate (investing in what is lovingly called "ugly houses"). I am 31. I was a competitive ice

skater as a child and am now a competitive ballroom dancer as an adult. I love music of all kinds and proof of that can be seen in my collection of CD's numbering in the 1500's about now and in my expression of music via the piano. I am a certified cake decorator because i felt that my life was not well rounded enough and i tend to be someone who is consistently living too much on the serious side of life. I am technically single and i have no children although i have unconditionally given my love to a man whom remains in my life in a very complicated and confusing way. I admit to being a bit too analytical for my own good sometimes and i am one of those dreaded people who dares to ask the question "WHY" about almost everything. So with all of

that said i suppose i am officially "out of the closet" of silence. I welcome any and all comments to everything i dare to post. I look forward to growing personal relationships with as many of you as i can. I aspire to show compassion and love in a way even half as lovely as that consistently shown by Ali and Luna, i aspire to become a writer even half as good as but mostly i aspire to simply connect and grow into a better form of myself and look forward to doing so in t he company of this precious group. Liane and have started something here that has already accomplished (whether they know it or not) their goal of changing and touching lives (Thank You for being the beautiful caring loving people that you are!!) and i am so grateful that the universe has placed me here in the company of such greatness!!

I love all of you already and this "relationship" has only begun!! Thank you for your gifts of time in reading this and thank you for your infinite gifts of love and wisdom. May only peace hold your hand today and always! Namaste Jus me ~ C

August 25, 2007

Hello lovely ! This really deeply touched me. You know sometimes we're given the tools before we're ready to use them. I think that's what happened with the group. You're starting to become ready to use this "tool", and learn and grow with others. I'm so thrilled you're with us! I can feel that you're very special and have an incredible heart and lot's of wisdom and love to give! Boundless love and hugs to you,Stefanie>> > Hello, Greeting and Good Day to all!!> > > > This is my first post to the group (or to any group for that matter). > More importantly it is my way of introducing myself (which selfishly i> feel is more for my benefit than for yours) but in the purest form of> honesty it is nothing more than the confessions of a sad and silent> observer...> > > > I was invited to join this wonderful group over two months ago when i> contacted for some much needed energy and healing. This is my> very first experience with a "group" and i must say just joining made me> feel a little "odd" (i mean after all, aren't "groups" and "chat rooms"> for pervs and weirdo's and people that don't have REAL lives???... WRONG> ). But i was desperate and in need of information and here it> was waiting for me, all i had to do was log on and get it. So to be> perfectly honest, i joined, got what i needed and didn't log in for like> two weeks after that. I kept getting the bulletins and just archiving> them away but then something happened and one night when in my sorrow i> felt inspired to read i actually opened one and read all of the> beautiful poems, inspirations, endearing stories, insightful thoughts> and communications of love that abounded inside!! WOW! I don't know> what's wrong with me... or with my brain (truly a ramble for anouther> time and anouther place). I had so many tools arriving daily here in my> inbox and yet in my pathetic state of depression i was so lost that i> hadn't the strength to just click and read...> > > > SO after many conversations with my dear friends Ali and Liane and after> much much time spend journaling and reflecting and trying to meditate> (and i do mean TRYING because how does one actually clear the mind of> all thoughts anywayz... i haven't figured that one out yet!) i have> slowly begun to find myself again and i have come to realize that i now> have enough strength (i think) and a whole hearted desire to begin> participating in this group (or at least trying to)!> > > > I actually have been introduced to this group (all-be-it not formally)> via a request for prayer posted with love by Ali (so many thanks!! you> beautiful precious soul!) about a month ago... i'm the girl being> stalked and harassed by the (lets just say) "not-so-enlightened-being"> (was that a nice enough way to state it?!), Mom very sick, no job,> bankruptcy, foreclosure, love of my life – soul mate – beloved> boyfriend deported and, totally lost wreck... yep, that's me lately. As> a result of that post I received an outpouring of love and light and> energy beyond what i thought imaginable. You people are awe inspiring> and inspirational beyond what mere words can relay (and i mean that with> every ounce of love i have to muster!). I remember silently reading> each reply to that post and literally trembling with tears, body> shaking, full forced weeping in my sadness and thinking to myself "how> in the world could you actually feel (i mean the real thing... feel!)> love by these "strangers" (as after all i have met in person none of you> and being silent for so long have not even had the opportunity to> exchange thoughts or words with you)?? Really... i felt love transcend> the monitor of my lil ol laptop and touch my heart. At the time it was> so painful to even THINK i could be lovable, feeling it was a shock that> my system honestly just could not take. I was shook and i was (more> importantly) i was forever CHANGED...> > > > So (pity party over) here i sit now, over a month later, still deep in> depression, turmoil and struggle (as nothing has actually materially> changed in my life's situation) but different in that i now feel> inspired to "talk". (baby steps are good! As you can see from this> first post of mine, i tend to be verbose without necessity and interject> thoughts and feeling all over the place and feel it is okay to do so as> long as i parenthesize to punctuate the thing (to all of those scholarly> in the art of written language i do humbly apologize).> > > > So what am i actually tying to say here??> > > > 1. To all of you beautiful wonderful caring people who reached out to> me in response to that prayer request, i want to apologize for taking a> month to show my appreciation to you and to give you thanks for the> selfless act of kindness you so graciously gave to me. You truly and> literally have contributed to saving my life! and i will forever be> grateful to you for receiving those precious gifts of words in my> darkest hour. If i am lucky i will be blessed enough to give back and> to touch outhers in the same way that you have touched me.> > > > 2. I have a lot to say but i have so much more to learn. I don't> really know where i am along my path of understanding because i have> managed to lose myself. At one point i felt that i embodied some form> of insight and i'd like to think that some of that will come back to me> as i send my thoughts and feelings and contributions over cyberspace. I> would like to think that as my strength is restored and i can find that> part of me that i miss so terribly that these feelings of being> bewildered and lost will vanish. Basically i see myself as a "baby" lil> spirit fragile and tender but eyes wide and mind open and anxious to> absorb and learn and take in all that is out there.> > > > 3. I have made a commitment to myself and to a dear dear friend *wink*> that i will be active in this group and i would like to know to which> topics you all seem to find most intriguing, most difficult to> understand, most illusive and in the most need of attention?? I ask> because i want to start my rambling form of contributions along those> lines. I want to make a difference here and i mean that sincerely... so> the scientist in me says "now... if your gonna do it, do it right". > Right to me, means finding out where to start and the only way to do> that is by asking.> > > > SO properly... if you have managed to read my ramble this far... i would> like to introduce myself. My name is . I am currently in> Southern Cali (Anaheim) although frankly i don't know where i live right> now, or where my life is going. I can tell you though, it can only get> better! My formal education and two former careers have been in the> fields of Marine Biology (field research) and in Real Estate (investing> in what is lovingly called "ugly houses"). I am 31. I was a> competitive ice skater as a child and am now a competitive ballroom> dancer as an adult. I love music of all kinds and proof of that can be> seen in my collection of CD's numbering in the 1500's about now and in> my expression of music via the piano. I am a certified cake decorator> because i felt that my life was not well rounded enough and i tend to be> someone who is consistently living too much on the serious side of life.> I am technically single and i have no children although i have> unconditionally given my love to a man whom remains in my life in a very> complicated and confusing way. I admit to being a bit too analytical> for my own good sometimes and i am one of those dreaded people who dares> to ask the question "WHY" about almost everything.> > > > So with all of that said i suppose i am officially "out of the closet"> of silence. I welcome any and all comments to everything i dare to> post. I look forward to growing personal relationships with as many of> you as i can. I aspire to show compassion and love in a way even half> as lovely as that consistently shown by Ali and Luna, i aspire to become> a writer even half as good as but mostly i aspire to simply> connect and grow into a better form of myself and look forward to doing> so in t he company of this precious group. Liane and have started> something here that has already accomplished (whether they know it or> not) their goal of changing and touching lives (Thank You for being the> beautiful caring loving people that you are!!) and i am so grateful that> the universe has placed me here in the company of such greatness!!> > > > I love all of you already and this "relationship" has only begun!!> > > > Thank you for your gifts of time in reading this and thank you for your> infinite gifts of love and wisdom.> > > > May only peace hold your hand today and always!> > > > Namaste> > > > Jus me ~ C>

August 25, 2007

,

I have never read an introduction that touched me quite like this one.

I'm so glad you decided to unsilence yourself. What you have to say

is much too important to keep inside.

I'm really fairly new to this group also. I'm not new to groups at

all, I belong to several. Lately I have spent most of my time here

because this is by far the most interesting, loving, caring, GENUINE,

group that I've ever been a part of. There's POWER here beyond

measure. I feel it every time I start reading messages. I cry most

of the time I'm reading. I've NEVER been in a group where I cried so

much!! But they are good tears. Some are tears of compassion when

another is hurting and some are cleansing tears. Some are tears of

joy - because I am amazed at the chain of events that lead me and my

husband here. I have never felt so loved and been so happy in

my whole life. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to bust wide

open from so much love and tenderness. There is NO doubt whatsoever,

you are truly loved here!!!

Depression, dear , is a rough journey. I know, I've been

there. When I met 10 years ago, I was strung out on Prozac and

Xanax and a variety of other drugs I forget the names of. Sometimes I

was so drugged I was like a walking zombie. But most of the time the

numbness was better than the pain. " Sticks and stones will break my

bones, but words will never hurt me " . Not true. I had listened and

believed what another had drilled into my head for many many years.

Changing that image of myself was one of the hardest things I've ever

had to do and I still struggle with it. lifts me up, never cuts

me down. So while its true that words can and do hurt, they also

heal. The unconditional love of and our little girl have

kept me going.

But...looking back at those days, it really seems like another

lifetime, I can see where I grew each step of the way. I had to take

babysteps and I have grown oh so slowly. And I still have so much

growing and learning to do. Thats one of the reasons I'm here among

all these teachers. My eyes and my ears are wide open to learn and

absorb all this knowledge.

Words from this group are like music to my ears. Sometimes when I'm

here reading, I feel like I'm in a choir of angels.

You've made an enormous step by coming out of the " closet of silence " .

And on those dark days when you don't want to read the messages from

this group, those are the days you should read, read, read. And when

you just can't take it another day...all you have to do is type " HELP "

and we'll hear you!! Love and light and healing energy will be sent

in an instant.

I better hush. Sometimes my fingers just won't stop typing!

I'm just so glad you're here.

Blessings,

http://www.myspace.com/rarebreeze

http://www.myspace.com/asundayinjune

http://www.myspace.com/dnjazz

http://www.intentionalone.com

http://intentionalone.com/yabb/YaBB.pl

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" Breathe deep, walk slow, hold tight to those you love, for the sun is

setting and it will be over so fast. "

-- Ken Pierpont