Re: Unconditional Love Is The Answer

[Guest guest]

Thank you .. So correct and such a wonderful article..

Love to you

~Karma

--- In , " " <knightsintention@...>

wrote:

>

> Unconditional Love is the Answer

> There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all those

> times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called

> " falling " in love.

> I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a

> truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream about the

> object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times

> together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I

> cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, literally

> blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go

> wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. Anger.

> Pain.

> Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price to

> pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we blindly

> accept that because we love we get hurt?

> It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing

> inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without getting

> hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer.

> Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire

> that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all our

> comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our purpose

> in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true

> meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our lives.

> Accept that people express love in different ways.

> How do YOU express your love? You say " I love you " three times a day,

> you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your

> anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does HE

> express his love? He rarely says " I love you " , he seldom kisses you, he

> forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works

> overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to the

> movies, and calls you " Honey " . He probably loves you as much as you love

> him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference

> then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.

> Derive happiness from giving love.

> When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable joy in

> loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having given

> someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it is

> appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.

> Love without expecting anything in return.

> Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in return for

> the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for

> disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love between

> two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and

> place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be able

> to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you

> believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal love in

> return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.

> Love now.

> The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's

> aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let them

> go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why dwell on

> them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That is

> the secret of inner contentment.

> Throw away those destructive habits.

> When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control,

> that you always have to be right, that others must always please you,

> you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you love.

> Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room for

> change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning experiences.

> When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love and

> affection rather than anger and frustration.

> Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done.

> Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. Try

> believing that love is simply giving. They say " Give until it

> hurts " . Let's say " Love until it hurts no more " .

> Author: Ruby Bayan

>

[Guest guest]

This is a request for an " Unconditional Love part II " if you will be

so kind.

I feel that you are inside my head and that you know my heart

and the issues i battle with the most... i have been in tears all

day and in a quandary for months now over this very subject. If i

can use this opportunity to ask for input from you and from the group

i would appreciate it.

Unconditional love is something that i have been lucky enough to be

able to give and am giving daily to the man i believe to be my soul

mate. He is far away from me in geographic distance and struggles

with dark matters and truly difficult issues in his own heart. He

returns his form of love to me but in a way that is often clouded by

pain and sorrow and confusion. I truly believe him to be my soul

mate and find myself to be " at home " in his mere presence. The

issues he faces and those within our relationship are enormous and

complex and difficult, very difficult. I feel blessed that i have

the strength and capability within me to love him as i do but also i

feel cursed. I don't know where the line is or how to draw it or

what it looks like when love changes from unconditional (something

very beautiful) to something that is destructive. I don't have the

capacity within me to give up on a person especially when they are

struggling but I don't know how to sustain this level or kind of love

when i find myself now in a situation where i am giving and giving

and pouring my love into a man that perhaps has only the short term

capability to recognize it, appreciate it and return it in a way that

keeps me filled. True so true there is great peace and abundant

satisfaction found in just giving your heart and your soul and your

love openly to anouther human being... but there is also a point for

me that i have found that i have become empty. I have not the

strength nor the desire to stop loving but know that if something

does not change my destruction will surely result.

So i'll ask this... how does one give unconditionally and truly stay

filled and strong enough themselves to sustain?? Is it possible that

there is a negative form of unconditional love?

Thank you all in advance for your insights on this topic of

Unconditional Love.

You are all such great teachers and so inspirational and i feel so

blessed for the opportunity to be here with you!

I'm hoping for only love and peace and hope and light in all of your

lives and in the lives of those you love!!

Jus me ~ C

>

> Unconditional Love is the Answer

> There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all

those

> times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's

called

> " falling " in love.

> I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a

> truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream about

the

> object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times

> together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I

> cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited,

literally

> blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go

> wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment.

Anger.

> Pain.

> Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price

to

> pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we

blindly

> accept that because we love we get hurt?

> It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing

> inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without

getting

> hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer.

> Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the

fire

> that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all

our

> comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our

purpose

> in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true

> meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our

lives.

> Accept that people express love in different ways.

> How do YOU express your love? You say " I love you " three times a

day,

> you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your

> anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does

HE

> express his love? He rarely says " I love you " , he seldom kisses

you, he

> forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works

> overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to

the

> movies, and calls you " Honey " . He probably loves you as much as you

love

> him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference

> then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.

> Derive happiness from giving love.

> When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable

joy in

> loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having given

> someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it

is

> appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.

> Love without expecting anything in return.

> Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in

return for

> the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for

> disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love

between

> two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and

> place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be

able

> to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you

> believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal

love in

> return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.

> Love now.

> The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's

> aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let

them

> go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why

dwell on

> them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That

is

> the secret of inner contentment.

> Throw away those destructive habits.

> When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control,

> that you always have to be right, that others must always please

you,

> you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you

love.

> Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room

for

> change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning

experiences.

> When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love

and

> affection rather than anger and frustration.

> Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done.

> Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take.

Try

> believing that love is simply giving. They say " Give until it

> hurts " . Let's say " Love until it hurts no more " .

> Author: Ruby Bayan

>

[Guest guest]

WONDERFUL message and I completely get it and have done it but how do

you conjur unconditional love up for others if one does not have it

for themselves. I don't really know if I do have it though I could sit

here and tell you my gifts and all the good things about myself. I can

just as easily hear me berating myself through the day but it's so

silent at times I don't know I am doing it.

Can a life of consistant abuse by men affect ones ability to love on

any level to a point where medications are needed and no matter how

much they forgive and let go some sort of heart/soul pain still

exists. It's so covered up and masked I cannot reach what it is but in

faith I keep releasing bitterness, anger, etc even towards me. I still

get not joy, no release. I pray, I meditate, I visualize neg going out

and positive unconditional love from my creator in and in spurts the

old fear creeps in and consumes me.

Does post trauma disorder and major depression make learning

unconditional love harder. It all seems simple to me maybe it's not

even my problem.

I've found myself not wanting love at all but only from my husband, I

don't feel safe with him, I don't trust him, he is bipolar. It's like

someone holding you and them telling you many beautiful things of

their love for you and then an hour later being berated and yelled at

for making them angry which is my fault. He is not perfect, I am not

perfect and I see I've now become a mirror image of him, full of

stress, fear and an inability to show affection, our marriage has been

sexless the entire time.

Somehow the simple word of unconditional love is the answer seems

inadequate for someone that has such deep trauma they can't locate the

trauma to let it go. I learned disconnection at a young age in order

to survive abuse and it's so ingrained I don't know how to stop it. I

long to love, long to give to others and I once did but lately I am

torn between the woman that just wants to be held and the woman that

wants to run to the other side of the world to find a safe place when

I fully know the only safe place is in me...and it's not safe in here.

how does one get to the inner core of themselves...I have believe me

but it never seems to be enough to stop the pain. Sorry I've gone on

forgive me... I don't mean to take the group over when I've not even

properly met you all. I meant to read a while and then slowly intro

myself but tonight has been scary time. I am on the verge of moving to

a new rental home with my husband and though I am excited there is

another part in me that I feels I am trespassing on the true desires

of my very soul who I THINK says....don't dig in deeper, this is not

where you belong. Then I have the other woman too that says, believe,

have faith, love unconditionally, let the pain flow outward stop

fighting it. How does one know in these situations which choice to

take??????

--- In , " " <knightsintention@...>

wrote:

>

> Unconditional Love is the Answer

> There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all those

> times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called

> " falling " in love.

>

[Guest guest]

My Dearest ,

The very first thing you have to do is this....repeat after me...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Now, that's called a " reboot " . It's a start...a new one. I'll wait

if you need to do it again. ...... ..... .... ... .. .

Ok, second thing...I recommend, going to my profile page over at M/S

and clicking on the link for the first book... " Living On Love - The

Messenger " . It is written as a novel, and it's free to read online

or print out. It teaches about LOVE. About how to " fill yourself

with it " , and how to " send it " ...to another person, into a

relationship, into a situation...and much more. I believe that by

the time you finish this first book, you will be well on your way to

all of this being seen in a whole new light...and three more books

follow tha one on the same page, and you'll be ready for them.

If you do nothing else...do that. it will make all the difference.

Now, I do see and I do feel where you may be. While, it may not be

the details I have of it...I know what " that " feels like. And, if

you feel comfortable revealing more here, I'm sure you will find

every single person here awaits with loving arms and hearts. Each

will understand from a difference place of experience, and in your

revealing, many more are served. It, I think, is in that serving

others, where our own healing comes from.

If there is more that you need to share, in a more personal

way...any of these have an email address right there by there name,

who will be waiting with more personal attention and love. There are

even those who will be a phone call away...all will be revealed.

That is the main thing you need to know here and now...no matter

what the experiences, there is at least one here who can closely

relate to that part of your experience, then another to the next.

All can relate together as a whole...all draw from each other.

I receive mail all the time, and comments back over what I've simply

repasted from some other place, just because it struck me a certain

way. The same for the things I've been sharing. Although, I can not

always see why it made as big a difference as it did for some. But I

am in deep humble graditute for that reflecting back, somehow

understanding, I was getting back towards something that seemed,

truer...real.

I am humbled still by some of the opportunites that come along that

are my own healing. I have found that the only way that any healing

works, is when it is in the service of another. I love to

give...more and more I love it. And I'm finding, it is the giving of

self, that another becomes whole...or is reminded of the fact, they

already are whole.

I have always been one to hide me deep within. It was safer. And

anything I did manage to give was what was outside of

myself...whatever my mask could provide. To actually give from

someplace deeper, I had to reveal deeper parts of myself...and

that's where my pain, and bitterness, and even hatred was, at least,

that's what my armour was made out of.

I use to joke with that she had to be CIA, or better still

KGB, something along those lines. Here I had myself well hidden, a

mystery to many, and I liked it that way...it was safer. But she

started to draw me out, and with it came stories, experiences, and

everything that comes with those things.

Things you may reveal to a lover or the closet of friends, but

certainly, certainly no one else. You know this...everyone here

knows this. There are parts of us not yet revealed yet. We are like

layers of an onion...slowly, the outer layers are peeled back, and

this scares the hell out of us...vunerability. Sometimes, it scares

us more than what we are trying to move away from and beyond...yet,

it is the very thing that reveals itself as having the need to be

shed, so that is possibile. " What comes to mind, comes to be

healed " . That is the only reason it comes...else, we would bless it

on it's way with love.

Now...

I must reveal a deeper part of me...peel off yet another piece, a

part of this onion....and it is a darker part. I have always liked

to think I was " in control " ...it's how I survived many things. I

have learned that I never had it.

Few know this next story...and it is you who have compelled it

forward. And frankly...I feel very vunerable.

I must first say that, " it is my story, told from my prespective,

from my experience. Some have not seen it from the way it is told,

the way I experienced it...and some have verified the truth in it.

I'll leave that for you to decide. I reveal it now only because some

part of me says you have came for it.

.......[tick toc tick toc....hours later]

I wrote for awhile here in this space, and hadn't even begun the

story...it was all back fill to get to the story...I've got to look

it over and sit with it a bit....

At any rate....feel free to reveal more as you wish. I'll get back

to this in a bit.

Love D~

> >

> > Unconditional Love is the Answer

> > There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all

> those

> > times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why

it's

> called

> > " falling " in love.

> > I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would

be a

> > truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream

about

> the

> > object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good

times

> > together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much

I

> > cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited,

> literally

> > blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something

would go

> > wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment.

Resentment.

> Anger.

> > Pain.

> > Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a

price

> to

> > pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we

> blindly

> > accept that because we love we get hurt?

> > It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing

> > inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without

> getting

> > hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the

answer.

> > Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is

the

> fire

> > that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of

all

> our

> > comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our

> purpose

> > in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true

> > meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our

> lives.

> > Accept that people express love in different ways.

> > How do YOU express your love? You say " I love you " three times a

> day,

> > you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget

your

> > anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How

does

> HE

> > express his love? He rarely says " I love you " , he seldom kisses

> you, he

> > forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he

works

> > overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you

to

> the

> > movies, and calls you " Honey " . He probably loves you as much as

you

> love

> > him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that

difference

> > then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.

> > Derive happiness from giving love.

> > When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable

> joy in

> > loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having

given

> > someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether

it

> is

> > appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.

> > Love without expecting anything in return.

> > Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in

> return for

> > the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for

> > disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love

> between

> > two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time

and

> > place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never

be

> able

> > to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you

> > believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal

> love in

> > return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.

> > Love now.

> > The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of

yesterday's

> > aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories.

Let

> them

> > go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why

> dwell on

> > them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment.

That

> is

> > the secret of inner contentment.

> > Throw away those destructive habits.

> > When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in

control,

> > that you always have to be right, that others must always please

> you,

> > you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you

> love.

> > Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give

room

> for

> > change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning

> experiences.

> > When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to

love

> and

> > affection rather than anger and frustration.

> > Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than

done.

> > Especially when we have always believed that love is give and

take.

> Try

> > believing that love is simply giving. They say " Give until it

> > hurts " . Let's say " Love until it hurts no more " .

> > Author: Ruby Bayan

> >

>

[Guest guest]

, the first thing I thought of when I read this is that you have to take care of yourself first. If you're not getting what you need, and you're not healthy, then there's no way you can help another. If you need to leave in order to stay healthy and happy, then that doesn't mean that your giving up on ANYONE! If you stay and keep giving giving giving until there's no light left to give, then you're giving up on EVERYONE, including yourself. Remember that he's choosing a path for himself that might not include you. He might need to hit rock bottom in order to bounce back, and all you might be doing is enabling him to stay put and not go up or down. I know that you love him with all of your heart, but I don't think that it's unconditional. Unconditional means "without limits". And because there's an obligation in your mind to save him and not leave him, that creates a limit. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but even one limit chains you. And I'm sure he doesn't want that for you.I love you so much, and your being here has touched this group profoundly. Thank you my love.Stefanie> >> > Unconditional Love is the Answer> > There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all > those> > times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's > called> > "falling" in love.> > I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a> > truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream about > the> > object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times> > together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I> > cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, > literally> > blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go> > wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. > Anger.> > Pain.> > Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price > to> > pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we > blindly> > accept that because we love we get hurt?> > It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing> > inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without > getting> > hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer.> > Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the > fire> > that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all > our> > comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our > purpose> > in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true> > meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our > lives.> > Accept that people express love in different ways.> > How do YOU express your love? You say "I love you" three times a > day,> > you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your> > anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does > HE> > express his love? He rarely says "I love you", he seldom kisses > you, he> > forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works> > overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to > the> > movies, and calls you "Honey". He probably loves you as much as you > love> > him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference> > then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.> > Derive happiness from giving love.> > When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable > joy in> > loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having given> > someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it > is> > appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.> > Love without expecting anything in return.> > Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in > return for> > the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for> > disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love > between> > two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and> > place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be > able> > to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you> > believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal > love in> > return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.> > Love now.> > The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's> > aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let > them> > go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why > dwell on> > them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That > is> > the secret of inner contentment.> > Throw away those destructive habits.> > When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control,> > that you always have to be right, that others must always please > you,> > you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you > love.> > Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room > for> > change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning > experiences.> > When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love > and> > affection rather than anger and frustration.> > Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done.> > Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. > Try> > believing that love is simply giving. They say "Give until it> > hurts". Let's say "Love until it hurts no more".> > Author: Ruby Bayan> >>

[Guest guest]

I knew the minute I read this post what I would write about.... See I have been in love the so called "unconditional love" a time or two I was Married the first time and aready separrated before I found it.. and believe me it hurts ALL the time But it truly found and understand unconditional love when they laid my son in my arms for the first time....I fell so deeply in love and Finally I understood what "IT" was all about .and then I died... They brought me back and here I am to tell about it .Ty was my Miracle Baby I was never supposed to have children I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 19 told I couldn't have kids so I became a heroin addict fresh out of Prison so at 24 fresh out of the nut house and clean I ended up pregnant and 5 years after god gave me 2 more and they are all miracles I shouldn't be here and nether should they. My son I now almost 18 and givin me a run for my money and yet unconditional love is all i have for him .I would

take my children over any man and have they are my life my loves and my happinesss Thank you Blessed Be <knightsintention@...> wrote: Unconditional Love is the Answer There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all those times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called "falling" in love. I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream

about the object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, literally blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. Anger. Pain. Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price to pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we blindly accept that because we love we get hurt? It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without getting hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer. Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all our comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our

purpose in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our lives. Accept that people express love in different ways. How do YOU express your love? You say "I love you" three times a day, you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does HE express his love? He rarely says "I love you", he seldom kisses you, he forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to the movies, and calls you "Honey". He probably loves you as much as you love him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship. Derive happiness from giving love. When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable joy in loving. Just give it. And

cherish the satisfaction in having given someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it is appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving. Love without expecting anything in return. Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in return for the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love between two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be able to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal love in return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever. Love now. The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let them go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why

dwell on them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That is the secret of inner contentment. Throw away those destructive habits. When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control, that you always have to be right, that others must always please you, you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you love. Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room for change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning experiences. When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love and affection rather than anger and frustration. Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done. Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. Try believing that love is simply giving. They say "Give until it hurts". Let's say "Love until it hurts no more". Author: Ruby Bayan Anastasia

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[Guest guest]

--- Hi Dove,

My heart goes out to you. My life has had a lot of indecision

because of confusion like the issues of unconditional love. I have

been working/meditating and releasing negativity and letting go of

the past Paine's inflicted on my soul. I can only speak my truth,

we all have our own truth to speak. No one knows your truth only

you. You know all that you need to know within yourself, you just

need to get clear enough to hear you own words (your higher self).

Unconditional love for me is loving the higher self in everyone and

everything. I love the Goodness in all of us. We are truly one.

However While I may love the soul of someone I don't necessarily have

to like or allow the lower nature of that soul to run me over or

another. Our world is full of " young souls " many who are acting out

in there animal natures, who cause much harm and chaos to those

around them. We as beings of love have two choices.

1. Stay around them to see if they can change. Most of them are

acting out at such a low vibration, they enjoy there state and are

attached to it. They won't let it go unless it is there time to. You

can't make someone want to change. They have to want to and then and

only then can they be helped into seeing what they are creating for

themselves, and the hellish existence for those in there proximity.

The problem is for us, we aren't strong enough to fight the constant

barrage of negative energy thrown up on us every time we interact.

We get overwhelmed and start to loose ourselves, like we are

drowning.

2. At this point we must retreat and get away and regroup ourselves.

Get our strength back. This neg. energy coming thru this person will

not want to see you go. They are feeding off of your energy like a

parasite. be careful. You must clean up your house (Your being) in

order for the light to shine in. It is always there but the clouds

(negative bombardment) have hidden it from your sight.

I have a friend who is bi polar. She has destroyed a good

relationship with her neg. behavior pushing a spiritual, peaceful,

loving relationship away. This is her third one. Now she is alone

and is hopefully working on herself. Her ex husband still loves her

but cannot be Ina relationship with her any more. It was destroying

him. Now he can help and love her from a distance which is more

effective than them both drowning. He can at least throw her a life

raft if and when she is ready.

I hope my experience and words can help you. You sound like you are

at a cross roads. I will pray for you. You have a loving group of

people who love and care about you.

Lovingly,

T

In , " dovetouched " <hisalone@...>

wrote:

>

> WONDERFUL message and I completely get it and have done it but how

do

> you conjure unconditional love up for others if one does not have it

> for themselves. I don't really know if I do have it though I could

sit

> here and tell you my gifts and all the good things about myself. I

can

> just as easily hear me berating myself through the day but it's so

> silent at times I don't know I am doing it.

> Can a life of consistent abuse by men affect ones ability to love on

> any level to a point where medications are needed and no matter how

> much they forgive and let go some sort of heart/soul pain still

> exists. It's so covered up and masked I cannot reach what it is but

in

> faith I keep releasing bitterness, anger, etc even towards me. I

still

> get not joy, no release. I pray, I meditate, I visualize neg going

out

> and positive unconditional love from my creator in and in spurts the

> old fear creeps in and consumes me.

> Does post trauma disorder and major depression make learning

> unconditional love harder. It all seems simple to me maybe it's not

> even my problem.

> I've found myself not wanting love at all but only from my husband,

I

> don't feel safe with him, I don't trust him, he is bipolar. It's

like

> someone holding you and them telling you many beautiful things of

> their love for you and then an hour later being berated and yelled

at

> for making them angry which is my fault. He is not perfect, I am not

> perfect and I see I've now become a mirror image of him, full of

> stress, fear and an inability to show affection, our marriage has

been

> sexless the entire time.

> Somehow the simple word of unconditional love is the answer seems

> inadequate for someone that has such deep trauma they can't locate

the

> trauma to let it go. I learned disconnection at a young age in order

> to survive abuse and it's so ingrained I don't know how to stop it.

I

> long to love, long to give to others and I once did but lately I am

> torn between the woman that just wants to be held and the woman that

> wants to run to the other side of the world to find a safe place

when

> I fully know the only safe place is in me...and it's not safe in

here.

> how does one get to the inner core of themselves...I have believe

me

> but it never seems to be enough to stop the pain. Sorry I've gone on

> forgive me... I don't mean to take the group over when I've not even

> properly met you all. I meant to read a while and then slowly intro

> myself but tonight has been scary time. I am on the verge of moving

to

> a new rental home with my husband and though I am excited there is

> another part in me that I feels I am trespassing on the true desires

> of my very soul who I THINK says....don't dig in deeper, this is not

> where you belong. Then I have the other woman too that says,

believe,

> have faith, love unconditionally, let the pain flow outward stop

> fighting it. How does one know in these situations which choice to

> take??????

>

>

> >

> > Unconditional Love is the Answer

> > There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all

those

> > times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's

called

> > " falling " in love.

> >

>