Guest guest Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 It was last fall/winter, I don't remember the exact date. We had not been on MySpace too awfully long. had gotten into it big time and I dabbled mostly. I cannot remember the sequence of events, so I may get a little out of order here – but please bear with me. had been posting a few bulletins, mostly spiritual " love " stuff and the response to his bulletins was amazing. People were ohhing and ahhing and carrying on like he was something out of this world and all he was doing back then was reposting what had already been posted and was interesting to him so he thought someone else might be interested in it. We don't keep secrets in our home, so each of us are free to read the other's email. And I was reading some pretty awesome stuff. He was actually touching lives. It was about this time he met ~Karma. And they became close friends. No one seemed to be paying me any attention on MySpace and I was getting a little bit jealous. I got mad…REAL mad. Here I was…the " good guy " and …Mr. Hell's Angel rebel, done everything in the world " tough guy " was being treated like some kind of deity. Well, mad doesn't even describe it – I got FURIOUS. Some of the more interesting messages he would get, he would read to me. I would smirk… " what do `they' know? `They' don't know the REAL " . Then I would not so gently remind him of all his faults. All he did 24/7 was sit on the couch with his nose stuck in his computer. I'd had enough. He was spending more time with people who if truth be known didn't give a crap about him (or so I thought), and he was ignoring me, the one who actually loved him and " put up with all his crap " . But little did I know that he was helping people in ways I couldn't even begin to imagine, he was even saving lives. All I could see was poor poor . Then got sick. I mean real sick. More than his body being sick and broken, I think his spirit and heart were broken. I had gone a little too far. I had said a little too much. And this time I couldn't take any of it back. just sat. For days all he did was sit or lay on the couch. Days turned into weeks. He barely said a word. Only doing what he had to do to take care of each day. A few days before got sick, I had sent ~Karma a friend request cause talked about how very interesting her life had been. And I knew they occasionally wrote each other. I very quickly saw what was talking about. I absolutely loved then and love her now. She is like a sister to me. So one day after got so sick, I wrote and asked her to kinda check on him and encourage him to start posting again. I think I very briefly touched on the fact that maybe I had fussed a bit too much and now he had gotten sick and just couldn't seem to get back on his feet. should remember it cause she got sick around the same time and also had a rough time beating it. Anyway, I prayed. I prayed hard. had always bounced back before when he was knocked down by life or me or whatever. But this time I wasn't so sure about it. I was scared…and so I prayed even harder. Long story short… did bounce back. And his life has become a life that literally shines in the darkness. He is so full of love and peace. One day I hope you guys really get to know …he is something else I tell ya. He still has his faults, but he has walked me through some of the darkest nights and held my hand when truthfully, no one else cared. Besides falling in love with all over again, all of this has taught me some valuable lessons. One of those lessons is this: it doesn't matter what you've done in life, how bad or good you think you are, there are people out there who just need someone to listen. Someone to answer their letters that they so carefully and tearfully write. Someone to care and show them that there really are still people in the world who know how to purely love you. Not the kind of love that says " I'll love you if you do this for me " . Not a sexual kind of love. But a very very pure love…from the heart…from the soul. Born from years of living and surviving and walking to the edge, sometimes falling in but picking yourself up and walking on some more. A love born from finally waking up one morning and realizing that this is what life was all about all along…LOVE. When those hurting people wrote to , they didn't see HIM…they saw the love he was sending all over the world. They saw a hand outstretched and sometimes it was shoved at them just as the final string was breaking. They saw a heart that didn't care what they had done, or why they were caught up in the awful circumstances that now was their life. They saw a true knight in shining armor. And still sometimes I get a bit jealous, but you try sharing the love of your life with people from all over the world…it ain't easy I'm telling ya. This confession has been good for my soul. I love you all - more than you'll ever know, http://www.myspace.com/rarebreeze http://www.myspace.com/asundayinjune http://www.myspace.com/dnjazz http://www.intentionalone.com http://intentionalone.com/yabb/YaBB.pl *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ " Breathe deep, walk slow, hold tight to those you love, for the sun is setting and it will be over so fast. " -- Ken Pierpont Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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