Re: Bullies: How far do we go to stop them?

[Guest guest]

One of our neighbors tried when her typical daughter had lots of

problems on the playground (choking). She wasn’t able to because

the children involved were under 10 years old. This was a few years ago

and I don’t know if the age limit is still in effect.

Tonya

From: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

[mailto:Texas-Autism-Advocacy ] On Behalf Of daisies48

Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 9:15 AM

To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

Subject: Bullies: How far do we go to stop them?

Has anyone filed a police report? Is this what

to do in order to make

bullies, their parents & caretakers more responsible?

This is the second major incident & now the bully is recruiting other

older boys to beat up on my child.....I hate to go to the extreme but

the boy's daddy appears to have his own issues and the mother is

useless. The daycare workers can only file an incident report....

I really don't want to go to this extreme, just can't seem to make it

stop!

[Guest guest]

I believe the age of ten you're referring to is the age at which you can take legal action against the other child.I missed the original post on this subject. However, please understand that usually the child who is the perpetrator also has issues and may well have their own disabilities. I actually had a situation where a middle school aged child threatened to push my own daughter off of the back of the band riser row where they sat next to each other. And she'd been known to do it to others. However, my daughter also knew that she had her own "counselor" in special education at the school. So I went to talk to the assistant principal about the situation, and he quickly offered to talk to the girl (obviously not very surprised at this report). I declined, saying that I was sure my daughter would face serious

retaliation if that happened. However, I asked him to discuss the situation with her counselor since she appeared to be a special education student, and probably emotionally disturbed.That ended my daughter's immediate torment by the girl, although that girl eventually had a serious violent melt down in high school and never returned to our school.Not all bullies are emotionally disturbed. Some are victims of abuse themselves. Some have anger management issues. Remember that your own child will be better off if you attempt to get to the root of the problem, rather than invoke criminal or disciplinary authorities. An assault charge or disciplinary action doesn't help your child much, if the kid continues to hit him (or her). If there's any way to get the parents and/or school to evaluate the child's need for counseling and provide it if there is a need, I think you'll have a better chance at longer term

peace. Feller Heiligenthal Attorney at Law www.studentslawyer.net studentslawyer@...

[Guest guest]

RE: Bullies..

I must be in agreement with on this one as many children that are

'bullied' are possibly in the same placement as the bully and will

suffer from some type of retaliation for any criminal action taken.

Since the majority of those that are bullying are in SED or other Spec

Ed Classes they may be acting upon a ' manifestation of their disability

' . This does not at all excuse this within our society but does excuse

them from some parameters of the Law.

If a bully is known to be in regular ed and is a teen, I would have a

different viewpoint altogether. But I must say that I have had cases

turn out much better when action was taken within the Administration of

the school. It's hard to hear that your child has or is being pushed

around by another and I know personally how that feels. But we must

look at the 'long run' and we know that all kids will be kids..their

disability is always second to the fact they are kids. Generally a

phone call or two or an in person visit to the Principal of the school

or counselor as stated in 's email is very effective. If this

doesn't work then you can always have a not so friendly Advocate give

them a call ... or if you want to enlist an Attorney you could do so as

well.. that would be your right. I always handle cases such as this

with 'kid gloves' because I don't want the child that is already being

harassed to have to take more from a friend of the bully.

It would be nice to say " Lock em up and throw away the key " ... that

would answer our moment to moment frustrations..but in all reality it

wouldn't make a better society for us to live in. If you need some

assistance email me on my personal yahoo acct. and I can possibly help.

Sometimes it does alot of good to take the frustrated party out of the

picture and let someone that can call them do so with a Firm and 'down

to business' approach. I am not an attorney, I am a reg. Civil Rights

Lobbyist and Educational Advocate. I do not charge parents for helping

them... I know attorneys must keep a practice going so I am not saying

anything bad about anyone.. just stating if you need help we must stick

together and help each other.

E. , Sr. The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children

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