Re: New here 6 year old with OCD

[Guest guest]

Welcome. So glad you found us. No, you are not the only one who

feels that way. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. The good days are

so great, and the bad days can be overwhelming. Having a child with

OCD can be a roller coaster ride. I wish I had wonderful pearls of

wisdom to share with you, of ways to get through it, but I don't. We

take one day at a time, and try to enjoy the good while it is here,

knowing a bad day will come again someday. Sometimes it blindsides

you, like it did for us and I wrote about recently. It's a very

individual thing. Some kids get better and stay better. Some kids

get better for long periods of time. And some kids struggle every

day. Different things work for different people. In our case we are

using meds and therapy. Our son showed improvement with the therapy,

but still fights anxiety that has become nondescript.

The good thing is, you've found someone who knows what they are doing

with OCD. And you found it while your daughter is still young. That

in itself is a huge blessing. Finding people who know what they are

doing can be tough. It sounds like your daughter is starting therapy

with the clinic, which is great. It may be enough to help her, but in

our case medication was needed too, just to get our son to therapy.

Hang in there. One day at a time. . One foot in front of another.

This is a great place to vent and share information. You will find

people who understand what you are going through, which helps, and

you'll find great support.

BJ

>

> Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all. I

> am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started showing

> symptoms all of the sudden last April.

>

> Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

> nails therefor she thought she had spit on her hands which would get

> on us. Then she started eating in a weird way with her utensils.

> Later she told us it was because she didn't want to scratch the plate

> or bowl with her utensil. She became stressed out about scratching

> our wood floors with her shoes. (these are old floors that we've

> never cared less about scratching).

>

> She also became very depressed and not like her normal self. She

> would wake up mornings crying wondering why she felt this way.

> There's so much more to go into that I could write pages. Well we

> took her to a therapist and had a consultation. Ten minutes into the

> first appointment the woman came out and told me my five year old

> should be put on prozac because she wanted to hurt herself. I was

> scared to death because my daughter has never ever said anything like

> this. After the appointment my little girl and I talked and I figured

> out that the therapist had just totally misunderstood something they

> talked about.

>

> I wasn't sure what to do next because although I am not against meds

> I knew in my heart that this just wasn't right. Strangely enough this

> was about the time of year that the sun started shining again and

> temps warmed up. Almost as if it was magic my daughter's troubles

> seemed to disapper. Over the past 5 months she had been through the

> death of my Mom who lived with us for my daughter's entire life. She

> watched her favorite grandma die of cancer at only 46 years old.

> Because we cared for her at home she unfortunately saw more than I

> think a child that age should see. Also very soon after my mom's

> death we moved to a new home in a new town and my husband started a

> new job. Then the other bigee was we had a baby boy.

>

> Since my little girl's symptoms seemed to fade away we just thought

> it must've been some bizarre stage.

>

> Well fast forward to this past Christmas, maybe a few days before.

> She started having major anxitey about going to school even though

> she had been fine before and nothing bad was happening at school. She

> was terrified that she would get off of the school bus to find nobody

> home. She was also scared that school would get let out early and

> nobody would be home when she got there. No amount of reassuring

> could convince her that this wouldn't happen.

>

> Then there's the near constant confessing of things that are almost

> always trivial at best. In her mind though she's done something

> horrible. Yesterday she was mad at me and rolled her eyes at me. I

> told her that wasn't nice and I didn't want her doing that. The rest

> of the day and into today she's constantly telling me that

> she " started " to roll her eyes at me or has thought about doing it.

> She even said maybe she'd just close her eyes so she wouldn't do it.

>

> She's had intrusive thoughts from hurting people to being curious

> about private parts. These really upset her and she wonders why she

> thinks of " gross " stuff. I try to tell her that all kids are curious

> about that stuff but that the thoughts just get stuck in her head and

> that she isn't bad. She's always thinking she's done something or

> wrong or might do something wrong.

>

> Then there's the germ stuff. While eating at a fast food restaurant

> one day she abrubtly wanted to move seats. She finally told us it was

> because the napkin holder was " gross " and she couldn't stand looking

> at it. It had what looked to be a ketchup fingerprint on it. We had

> to move it to a different table for her to be able to eat. There's

> lots of other things like this that bother her too.

>

> Then about a month ago she got to the point that she said she just

> couldn't go to school because she'd miss me too much. Now I'm a stay

> home mom and her dad and I are always with her so it's not a case of

> not enough time. She got so hysterical that I just kept her home the

> two days prior to her appointments because I didn't know what else to

> do.

>

> So we are lucky enough to live about an hour and a half from Mayo

> Clinic in Rochester and I decided that I wasn't messing around with

> the people in our small town anymore and that I'd take her there. Boy

> am I glad I did. We were there nearly 8 hours for our initial

> evaluation. Let me tell you this was nothing like our experience with

> our " therapist " last year.

>

> So the docs told us that it was definately OCD, General Anxiety

> Disorder, Seperation Anxiety, and Specific Phobias. On the 22nd we

> are starting weekly sessions of CBT to go for at least 10 weeks for

> sure. I am SO thankful that we found the place we did.

>

> I asked the doctor what the heck to do to get her to go to school in

> the meantime. He said with rewards, to think of something she really

> wanted and that could be her reward. He said it didn't need to be

> something purchased but that it could be. So we went and bought a

> bunch of toys and wrapped them up seperately and every morning right

> before school she gets to open one. Then we also started a chart

> where for everyday that she doesn't cry at school she gets an x on

> the chart. These X's are saved up for other treats and stuff.

>

> Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go broke doing it.

> I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to do for

> everything. He made it sound though like it was just because school

> was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her back

> there right away.

>

> Anyhow I'm sorry this is so long and thank you if you've made it this

> far. What I really want to know is how do you make it through the bad

> days? I mean some days my daughter seems her normal self, somedays in

> between. Then there are days like this weekend that she's consumed

> with intrusive thoughts and though I know she can't help it I get to

> the point that I feel I can't take it anymore. I've been telling her

> that as long as she's not hurt or hurting anyone else that I don't

> need to hear about her thoughts. She says that she " just feels

> better " when she tells me the stuff. The docs explained that this is

> actually the ritual, the telling me things.

>

> I adore my daughter and having anxiety issues myself I know how hard

> it is. But on days like today I just am at my wits end. I try to tell

> myself that God blessed me with this child because I could handle

> her. But it's just so hard sometimes. Do you have any advice about

> how to make it through? Sometimes I feel like all hope is lost and

> that my daughter will never have a normal life. Then there are days

> that seem so much better and I feel it will all be okay. Mostly the

> days are right in the middle. It's just this never ending battle that

> I feel to tired to fight sometimes. I feel terrible even saying this

> but I know I can't be the only one who feels so defeated.

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome. Ditto what BJ said. You enjoy and take full advantage of

the good days and then when the bad days come, you just take a deep

breath and survive. Knowing it is going to be a roller coaster ride

helps. Joining a support group is probably the best thing you can do.

Here you can vent and share your stories and know that everyone

understands and they are here for you. Hang in there.

Connie

[Guest guest]

Hi, welcome! " Defeated " is definitely how we've all felt some days!

Things should get better when she begins therapy and sounds like

you've found the perfect place for that!

Does she understand about OCD, how it bosses her around, brain

tricks, etc.? If so you might begin to try limiting the number of

times she can confess something to you each day. So if it's now 50x

a day, you could pick 48x or 45x...whatever she can most likely be

successful at; if you picked 45x and she did 48x, that's

still " progress " so should be praised! OR sometimes parents have had

success with setting aside a time of day for " confessions " and then

there can be limits as to how many then too. Another parent - if

your daughter can write well - had a box, child wrote them down and

put in box.... Can't recall if maybe they pulled some out later or

if just placing in box was enough. Just some thoughts on that

behavior.

(now age 19) is my OCDer. He used to constantly ask for

reassurance when he was very young, around her age too. And ask the

same question repeatedly during the day. A lot of them were " will

this give me cancer? " about some food or he might " feel " something

and worry it was cancer or something else was wrong. He noticed

about every mark/blemish on his body too. And if he had some

scratch/cut, it was always " how long until it heals? " To the latter,

I might say " 10 days! " or something; then when asked again, " what did

I already say? " or " I'm not gonna answer that again " (which still I

might end up saying AGAIN, " 10 days! " Of course next day I'd have to

remember " 9 days " !

's OCD began in 6th grade but he had his little behaviors

before that, like tracing over letters, maybe erasing and rewriting

some.

Rewards wouldn't work with him (maybe if he'd been younger, he was

about 12 when it began). He said they were bribes and he couldn't be

bribed! Anyway, rewards could also be treats/no $ like a favorite

dessert/snack, staying up a little bit later, getting to pick out

movie, extra bedtime story, having a friend to spend the

night...maybe picking something they can do on some day/night they

wouldn't usually be allowed to.

As to keeping sane - this group was the best for that! But also I

would just find minutes during the day and maybe have my own

snack/treat (chocolate! ice cream!) or stealing a few minutes to read

some of a book (bathroom is good for that, LOL, I certainly *needed*

to go a lot some days!), long showers, long way home from

errand/listen to music, work/sit outside, go for short walk....

It'll be interesting to see if her behavior eases up as the days get

longer but then she will be in therapy before then too. Some parents

do seem to see things worsen at certain times and wonder about

seasonal or allergies, etc.

Glad you found us,

single mom, 3 sons

, 19, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/mild

>

> Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all.

I

> am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started

showing

> symptoms all of the sudden last April.

>

> Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

[Guest guest]

Hi, welcome! " Defeated " is definitely how we've all felt some days!

Things should get better when she begins therapy and sounds like

you've found the perfect place for that!

Does she understand about OCD, how it bosses her around, brain

tricks, etc.? If so you might begin to try limiting the number of

times she can confess something to you each day. So if it's now 50x

a day, you could pick 48x or 45x...whatever she can most likely be

successful at; if you picked 45x and she did 48x, that's

still " progress " so should be praised! OR sometimes parents have had

success with setting aside a time of day for " confessions " and then

there can be limits as to how many then too. Another parent - if

your daughter can write well - had a box, child wrote them down and

put in box.... Can't recall if maybe they pulled some out later or

if just placing in box was enough. Just some thoughts on that

behavior.

(now age 19) is my OCDer. He used to constantly ask for

reassurance when he was very young, around her age too. And ask the

same question repeatedly during the day. A lot of them were " will

this give me cancer? " about some food or he might " feel " something

and worry it was cancer or something else was wrong. He noticed

about every mark/blemish on his body too. And if he had some

scratch/cut, it was always " how long until it heals? " To the latter,

I might say " 10 days! " or something; then when asked again, " what did

I already say? " or " I'm not gonna answer that again " (which still I

might end up saying AGAIN, " 10 days! " Of course next day I'd have to

remember " 9 days " !

's OCD began in 6th grade but he had his little behaviors

before that, like tracing over letters, maybe erasing and rewriting

some.

Rewards wouldn't work with him (maybe if he'd been younger, he was

about 12 when it began). He said they were bribes and he couldn't be

bribed! Anyway, rewards could also be treats/no $ like a favorite

dessert/snack, staying up a little bit later, getting to pick out

movie, extra bedtime story, having a friend to spend the

night...maybe picking something they can do on some day/night they

wouldn't usually be allowed to.

As to keeping sane - this group was the best for that! But also I

would just find minutes during the day and maybe have my own

snack/treat (chocolate! ice cream!) or stealing a few minutes to read

some of a book (bathroom is good for that, LOL, I certainly *needed*

to go a lot some days!), long showers, long way home from

errand/listen to music, work/sit outside, go for short walk....

It'll be interesting to see if her behavior eases up as the days get

longer but then she will be in therapy before then too. Some parents

do seem to see things worsen at certain times and wonder about

seasonal or allergies, etc.

Glad you found us,

single mom, 3 sons

, 19, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/mild

>

> Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all.

I

> am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started

showing

> symptoms all of the sudden last April.

>

> Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

[Guest guest]

What a warm and wonderful welcome, thank you everyone that is just what

I needed. I apologize my message was so long and rambling. As you all

know it's just that there is so much going on with my daughter from one

minute to the next it's hard to remember what's what.

I'm really grateful to have found this place. Thanks again for the warm

welcome, it's so very appreciated.

>

> Welcome. Ditto what BJ said. You enjoy and take full advantage

of

> the good days and then when the bad days come, you just take a deep

> breath and survive. Knowing it is going to be a roller coaster ride

> helps. Joining a support group is probably the best thing you can

do.

> Here you can vent and share your stories and know that everyone

> understands and they are here for you. Hang in there.

>

> Connie

>

[Guest guest]

Dejavu. Sounds like my 4-year-old (soon to be 5).

She is the same way with the good days/bad days. Saturday was an

excellent day, she was a completely normal, happy kid and we just ran

with it and completely enjoyed the entire day!!!

This morning on the other hand, she woked up whiny and cranky (as did

I since she had me up 4 times last night) and washed her hands 4

times in the first hour she was up.

too is obsessed with germs and with " seeing things " on her

food. She is also obsessed with death and will continually worry

about doing harm to someone. Something as little as bumping into me

will cause her to ask me if that will make me die.

does not exhibit her symptoms too much outside of the home.

Occasionally at preschool she will ask the teacher about " I think I

got some pencil shavings in my mouth, will I die " and " will I get

electrocuted if I touch that rubber stuff along the floor " (the

baseboard).

She also recently has been having trouble separating when I drop her

off at school but she does eventually comply without too much fuss.

She does love school, I think it is just a little anxiety when she

initially arrives but once she is there she is okay.

Her therapist too immediately suggested Prozac but I am quite

reluctant. I understand their reasoning but I did not rush into

scheduling anything. She currently has an appointment for March 26

for a medication evaluation with a psychiatrist and I will go from

there in making my decision although at this point I think I am

leaning more toward using it.

had a spell on Friday when we dropped her sister off at Girl

Scout Camp and she was asked by the leader if she wanted to do a

craft with the girls and stay for a little while. She got very

excited and kept telling me, okay you can go mommy. Well, next thing

I know she is huddled up on a chair crying. I asked her what was

wrong and she kept telling me she could not breathe. I had her take

few deep breaths and calm down and then she was able to tell me that

(her big sister) said she could not sit at the same table with

her and her friends. I calmed her down and talked with and

smoothed things over and everything from there on out was fine. I am

not sure but her behavior seemed sort of like a panic attack. I will

have to wait on Tuesday and ask her therapist.

Okay, good luck to you and your little one. We too are in the early

stages of diagnosis and treatment so maybe we can be a support to

each other since our kids are close to the same age and in the same

stages of treatment.

Take Care!!!

R

> >

> > Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you

all. I

> > am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> > OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started

showing

> > symptoms all of the sudden last April.

> >

> > Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites

her

> > nails therefor she thought she had spit on her hands which would

get

> > on us. Then she started eating in a weird way with her utensils.

> > Later she told us it was because she didn't want to scratch the

plate

> > or bowl with her utensil. She became stressed out about

scratching

> > our wood floors with her shoes. (these are old floors that we've

> > never cared less about scratching).

> >

> > She also became very depressed and not like her normal self. She

> > would wake up mornings crying wondering why she felt this way.

> > There's so much more to go into that I could write pages. Well we

> > took her to a therapist and had a consultation. Ten minutes into

the

> > first appointment the woman came out and told me my five year old

> > should be put on prozac because she wanted to hurt herself. I was

> > scared to death because my daughter has never ever said anything

like

> > this. After the appointment my little girl and I talked and I

figured

> > out that the therapist had just totally misunderstood something

they

> > talked about.

> >

> > I wasn't sure what to do next because although I am not against

meds

> > I knew in my heart that this just wasn't right. Strangely enough

this

> > was about the time of year that the sun started shining again and

> > temps warmed up. Almost as if it was magic my daughter's troubles

> > seemed to disapper. Over the past 5 months she had been through

the

> > death of my Mom who lived with us for my daughter's entire life.

She

> > watched her favorite grandma die of cancer at only 46 years old.

> > Because we cared for her at home she unfortunately saw more than

I

> > think a child that age should see. Also very soon after my mom's

> > death we moved to a new home in a new town and my husband started

a

> > new job. Then the other bigee was we had a baby boy.

> >

> > Since my little girl's symptoms seemed to fade away we just

thought

> > it must've been some bizarre stage.

> >

> > Well fast forward to this past Christmas, maybe a few days

before.

> > She started having major anxitey about going to school even

though

> > she had been fine before and nothing bad was happening at school.

She

> > was terrified that she would get off of the school bus to find

nobody

> > home. She was also scared that school would get let out early and

> > nobody would be home when she got there. No amount of reassuring

> > could convince her that this wouldn't happen.

> >

> > Then there's the near constant confessing of things that are

almost

> > always trivial at best. In her mind though she's done something

> > horrible. Yesterday she was mad at me and rolled her eyes at me.

I

> > told her that wasn't nice and I didn't want her doing that. The

rest

> > of the day and into today she's constantly telling me that

> > she " started " to roll her eyes at me or has thought about doing

it.

> > She even said maybe she'd just close her eyes so she wouldn't do

it.

> >

> > She's had intrusive thoughts from hurting people to being curious

> > about private parts. These really upset her and she wonders why

she

> > thinks of " gross " stuff. I try to tell her that all kids are

curious

> > about that stuff but that the thoughts just get stuck in her head

and

> > that she isn't bad. She's always thinking she's done something or

> > wrong or might do something wrong.

> >

> > Then there's the germ stuff. While eating at a fast food

restaurant

> > one day she abrubtly wanted to move seats. She finally told us it

was

> > because the napkin holder was " gross " and she couldn't stand

looking

> > at it. It had what looked to be a ketchup fingerprint on it. We

had

> > to move it to a different table for her to be able to eat.

There's

> > lots of other things like this that bother her too.

> >

> > Then about a month ago she got to the point that she said she

just

> > couldn't go to school because she'd miss me too much. Now I'm a

stay

> > home mom and her dad and I are always with her so it's not a case

of

> > not enough time. She got so hysterical that I just kept her home

the

> > two days prior to her appointments because I didn't know what

else to

> > do.

> >

> > So we are lucky enough to live about an hour and a half from Mayo

> > Clinic in Rochester and I decided that I wasn't messing around

with

> > the people in our small town anymore and that I'd take her there.

Boy

> > am I glad I did. We were there nearly 8 hours for our initial

> > evaluation. Let me tell you this was nothing like our experience

with

> > our " therapist " last year.

> >

> > So the docs told us that it was definately OCD, General Anxiety

> > Disorder, Seperation Anxiety, and Specific Phobias. On the 22nd

we

> > are starting weekly sessions of CBT to go for at least 10 weeks

for

> > sure. I am SO thankful that we found the place we did.

> >

> > I asked the doctor what the heck to do to get her to go to school

in

> > the meantime. He said with rewards, to think of something she

really

> > wanted and that could be her reward. He said it didn't need to be

> > something purchased but that it could be. So we went and bought a

> > bunch of toys and wrapped them up seperately and every morning

right

> > before school she gets to open one. Then we also started a chart

> > where for everyday that she doesn't cry at school she gets an x

on

> > the chart. These X's are saved up for other treats and stuff.

> >

> > Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go broke doing

it.

> > I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to do for

> > everything. He made it sound though like it was just because

school

> > was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her back

> > there right away.

> >

> > Anyhow I'm sorry this is so long and thank you if you've made it

this

> > far. What I really want to know is how do you make it through the

bad

> > days? I mean some days my daughter seems her normal self,

somedays in

> > between. Then there are days like this weekend that she's

consumed

> > with intrusive thoughts and though I know she can't help it I get

to

> > the point that I feel I can't take it anymore. I've been telling

her

> > that as long as she's not hurt or hurting anyone else that I

don't

> > need to hear about her thoughts. She says that she " just feels

> > better " when she tells me the stuff. The docs explained that this

is

> > actually the ritual, the telling me things.

> >

> > I adore my daughter and having anxiety issues myself I know how

hard

> > it is. But on days like today I just am at my wits end. I try to

tell

> > myself that God blessed me with this child because I could handle

> > her. But it's just so hard sometimes. Do you have any advice

about

> > how to make it through? Sometimes I feel like all hope is lost

and

> > that my daughter will never have a normal life. Then there are

days

> > that seem so much better and I feel it will all be okay. Mostly

the

> > days are right in the middle. It's just this never ending battle

that

> > I feel to tired to fight sometimes. I feel terrible even saying

this

> > but I know I can't be the only one who feels so defeated.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I forgot to mention in my previous post because you mentioned that it

is so hard to keep track of all of her symptoms from day to day, keep

a diary.

's therapist is having me keep a daily diary of what is going

on with her because she is so little and it is hard for her to

express to him how she is feeling. This has helped him tremendously

because she will not bring up these topics with him and he can go

back and look through my diary for the week and see what he can

address with her. It did help last week because he brought up a

specific incident that happened at school and asked her how she felt

when this happened and she said " embarassed " . That was the first

time she expressed any feelings regarding her anxiety or OCD to him

so the diary is helpful.

R

>

> Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all.

I

> am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started

showing

> symptoms all of the sudden last April.

>

> Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

> nails therefor she thought she had spit on her hands which would

get

> on us. Then she started eating in a weird way with her utensils.

> Later she told us it was because she didn't want to scratch the

plate

> or bowl with her utensil. She became stressed out about scratching

> our wood floors with her shoes. (these are old floors that we've

> never cared less about scratching).

>

> She also became very depressed and not like her normal self. She

> would wake up mornings crying wondering why she felt this way.

> There's so much more to go into that I could write pages. Well we

> took her to a therapist and had a consultation. Ten minutes into

the

> first appointment the woman came out and told me my five year old

> should be put on prozac because she wanted to hurt herself. I was

> scared to death because my daughter has never ever said anything

like

> this. After the appointment my little girl and I talked and I

figured

> out that the therapist had just totally misunderstood something

they

> talked about.

>

> I wasn't sure what to do next because although I am not against

meds

> I knew in my heart that this just wasn't right. Strangely enough

this

> was about the time of year that the sun started shining again and

> temps warmed up. Almost as if it was magic my daughter's troubles

> seemed to disapper. Over the past 5 months she had been through the

> death of my Mom who lived with us for my daughter's entire life.

She

> watched her favorite grandma die of cancer at only 46 years old.

> Because we cared for her at home she unfortunately saw more than I

> think a child that age should see. Also very soon after my mom's

> death we moved to a new home in a new town and my husband started a

> new job. Then the other bigee was we had a baby boy.

>

> Since my little girl's symptoms seemed to fade away we just thought

> it must've been some bizarre stage.

>

> Well fast forward to this past Christmas, maybe a few days before.

> She started having major anxitey about going to school even though

> she had been fine before and nothing bad was happening at school.

She

> was terrified that she would get off of the school bus to find

nobody

> home. She was also scared that school would get let out early and

> nobody would be home when she got there. No amount of reassuring

> could convince her that this wouldn't happen.

>

> Then there's the near constant confessing of things that are almost

> always trivial at best. In her mind though she's done something

> horrible. Yesterday she was mad at me and rolled her eyes at me. I

> told her that wasn't nice and I didn't want her doing that. The

rest

> of the day and into today she's constantly telling me that

> she " started " to roll her eyes at me or has thought about doing it.

> She even said maybe she'd just close her eyes so she wouldn't do

it.

>

> She's had intrusive thoughts from hurting people to being curious

> about private parts. These really upset her and she wonders why she

> thinks of " gross " stuff. I try to tell her that all kids are

curious

> about that stuff but that the thoughts just get stuck in her head

and

> that she isn't bad. She's always thinking she's done something or

> wrong or might do something wrong.

>

> Then there's the germ stuff. While eating at a fast food restaurant

> one day she abrubtly wanted to move seats. She finally told us it

was

> because the napkin holder was " gross " and she couldn't stand

looking

> at it. It had what looked to be a ketchup fingerprint on it. We had

> to move it to a different table for her to be able to eat. There's

> lots of other things like this that bother her too.

>

> Then about a month ago she got to the point that she said she just

> couldn't go to school because she'd miss me too much. Now I'm a

stay

> home mom and her dad and I are always with her so it's not a case

of

> not enough time. She got so hysterical that I just kept her home

the

> two days prior to her appointments because I didn't know what else

to

> do.

>

> So we are lucky enough to live about an hour and a half from Mayo

> Clinic in Rochester and I decided that I wasn't messing around with

> the people in our small town anymore and that I'd take her there.

Boy

> am I glad I did. We were there nearly 8 hours for our initial

> evaluation. Let me tell you this was nothing like our experience

with

> our " therapist " last year.

>

> So the docs told us that it was definately OCD, General Anxiety

> Disorder, Seperation Anxiety, and Specific Phobias. On the 22nd we

> are starting weekly sessions of CBT to go for at least 10 weeks for

> sure. I am SO thankful that we found the place we did.

>

> I asked the doctor what the heck to do to get her to go to school

in

> the meantime. He said with rewards, to think of something she

really

> wanted and that could be her reward. He said it didn't need to be

> something purchased but that it could be. So we went and bought a

> bunch of toys and wrapped them up seperately and every morning

right

> before school she gets to open one. Then we also started a chart

> where for everyday that she doesn't cry at school she gets an x on

> the chart. These X's are saved up for other treats and stuff.

>

> Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go broke doing

it.

> I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to do for

> everything. He made it sound though like it was just because school

> was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her back

> there right away.

>

> Anyhow I'm sorry this is so long and thank you if you've made it

this

> far. What I really want to know is how do you make it through the

bad

> days? I mean some days my daughter seems her normal self, somedays

in

> between. Then there are days like this weekend that she's consumed

> with intrusive thoughts and though I know she can't help it I get

to

> the point that I feel I can't take it anymore. I've been telling

her

> that as long as she's not hurt or hurting anyone else that I don't

> need to hear about her thoughts. She says that she " just feels

> better " when she tells me the stuff. The docs explained that this

is

> actually the ritual, the telling me things.

>

> I adore my daughter and having anxiety issues myself I know how

hard

> it is. But on days like today I just am at my wits end. I try to

tell

> myself that God blessed me with this child because I could handle

> her. But it's just so hard sometimes. Do you have any advice about

> how to make it through? Sometimes I feel like all hope is lost and

> that my daughter will never have a normal life. Then there are days

> that seem so much better and I feel it will all be okay. Mostly the

> days are right in the middle. It's just this never ending battle

that

> I feel to tired to fight sometimes. I feel terrible even saying

this

> but I know I can't be the only one who feels so defeated.

>

[Guest guest]

You wrote: " Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go

broke doing it.I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to

do for everything. He made it sound though like it was just because

school was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her

back there right away. "

Actually, this is the same thing that worked wonders for my daughter

(small gifts, stickers for doing good, adding up to a reward). She

was 7 when we started this (10 now). I was told at one point that I

could give her ice cream after school every day if she did well in

the morning in getting on the bus (she lives for ice cream!)

I worried about her needing rewards for everything, but usually it

only took a week or two for a certain thing (ex: getting dressed OK

in the morning) and then she'd be over the hump and we could stop the

reward. She never seemed to expect it -- I think she felt so good

about triumphing over OCD that it was her ultimate reward.

Also, since she is so young, your daughter should be thrilled over

the little things so no need to go broke over it. I got things from

the dollar store. Or, like mentioned, use rewards that don't

cost anything, like play a game with Mommy, watch a movie together,

etc. You mentioned having a son, too, so alone time with you is

probably very precious to her. And ALWAYS heap on the praise every

time she tries to " boss back " her OCD, whether she's successful or

not. It's the effort that is most important.

The great news is that you have the tools to help her, and that she

is so young. Yes, it breaks your heart because she IS so young, but

trust me, starting therapy at this age is such an advantage. I can't

imagine my daughter making the progress she did if she were a pre-

teen or teen. When they are young rewards work so well, and they are

(usually) eager to please, whether it's you, their therapist,

teacher, etc. And then they find out it makes them feel good,too,

when they conquer OCD.

As for how to " hang in there " , I am no expert on that one, but

getting better. Even on the good days (and it can even be months,

yahoo!) I spend too much time worrying about the next episode, trying

to plan for it, etc. I am learning to just take today and appreciate

her (mental) health. On bad days, I try to exercise, walk, watch

some extra TV, anything to keep my mind occupied. And above all, get

my rest -- for me that's a biggie, I can't handle OCD much at all if

I am tired on top of everything else.

And come here to vent as often as you can!

nna

NY

PS) Aureen Pinto-Wagner (one of our advisors on this list) wrote " Up

and Down the Worry Hill " -- my daughter enjoyed this book as well.

>

> Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all.

I

> am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

> OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started

showing

> symptoms all of the sudden last April.

>

> Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

> nails therefor she thought she had spit on her hands which would

get

> on us. Then she started eating in a weird way with her utensils.

> Later she told us it was because she didn't want to scratch the

plate

> or bowl with her utensil. She became stressed out about scratching

> our wood floors with her shoes. (these are old floors that we've

> never cared less about scratching).

>

> She also became very depressed and not like her normal self. She

> would wake up mornings crying wondering why she felt this way.

> There's so much more to go into that I could write pages. Well we

> took her to a therapist and had a consultation. Ten minutes into

the

> first appointment the woman came out and told me my five year old

> should be put on prozac because she wanted to hurt herself. I was

> scared to death because my daughter has never ever said anything

like

> this. After the appointment my little girl and I talked and I

figured

> out that the therapist had just totally misunderstood something

they

> talked about.

>

> I wasn't sure what to do next because although I am not against

meds

> I knew in my heart that this just wasn't right. Strangely enough

this

> was about the time of year that the sun started shining again and

> temps warmed up. Almost as if it was magic my daughter's troubles

> seemed to disapper. Over the past 5 months she had been through the

> death of my Mom who lived with us for my daughter's entire life.

She

> watched her favorite grandma die of cancer at only 46 years old.

> Because we cared for her at home she unfortunately saw more than I

> think a child that age should see. Also very soon after my mom's

> death we moved to a new home in a new town and my husband started a

> new job. Then the other bigee was we had a baby boy.

>

> Since my little girl's symptoms seemed to fade away we just thought

> it must've been some bizarre stage.

>

> Well fast forward to this past Christmas, maybe a few days before.

> She started having major anxitey about going to school even though

> she had been fine before and nothing bad was happening at school.

She

> was terrified that she would get off of the school bus to find

nobody

> home. She was also scared that school would get let out early and

> nobody would be home when she got there. No amount of reassuring

> could convince her that this wouldn't happen.

>

> Then there's the near constant confessing of things that are almost

> always trivial at best. In her mind though she's done something

> horrible. Yesterday she was mad at me and rolled her eyes at me. I

> told her that wasn't nice and I didn't want her doing that. The

rest

> of the day and into today she's constantly telling me that

> she " started " to roll her eyes at me or has thought about doing it.

> She even said maybe she'd just close her eyes so she wouldn't do

it.

>

> She's had intrusive thoughts from hurting people to being curious

> about private parts. These really upset her and she wonders why she

> thinks of " gross " stuff. I try to tell her that all kids are

curious

> about that stuff but that the thoughts just get stuck in her head

and

> that she isn't bad. She's always thinking she's done something or

> wrong or might do something wrong.

>

> Then there's the germ stuff. While eating at a fast food restaurant

> one day she abrubtly wanted to move seats. She finally told us it

was

> because the napkin holder was " gross " and she couldn't stand

looking

> at it. It had what looked to be a ketchup fingerprint on it. We had

> to move it to a different table for her to be able to eat. There's

> lots of other things like this that bother her too.

>

> Then about a month ago she got to the point that she said she just

> couldn't go to school because she'd miss me too much. Now I'm a

stay

> home mom and her dad and I are always with her so it's not a case

of

> not enough time. She got so hysterical that I just kept her home

the

> two days prior to her appointments because I didn't know what else

to

> do.

>

> So we are lucky enough to live about an hour and a half from Mayo

> Clinic in Rochester and I decided that I wasn't messing around with

> the people in our small town anymore and that I'd take her there.

Boy

> am I glad I did. We were there nearly 8 hours for our initial

> evaluation. Let me tell you this was nothing like our experience

with

> our " therapist " last year.

>

> So the docs told us that it was definately OCD, General Anxiety

> Disorder, Seperation Anxiety, and Specific Phobias. On the 22nd we

> are starting weekly sessions of CBT to go for at least 10 weeks for

> sure. I am SO thankful that we found the place we did.

>

> I asked the doctor what the heck to do to get her to go to school

in

> the meantime. He said with rewards, to think of something she

really

> wanted and that could be her reward. He said it didn't need to be

> something purchased but that it could be. So we went and bought a

> bunch of toys and wrapped them up seperately and every morning

right

> before school she gets to open one. Then we also started a chart

> where for everyday that she doesn't cry at school she gets an x on

> the chart. These X's are saved up for other treats and stuff.

>

> Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go broke doing

it.

> I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to do for

> everything. He made it sound though like it was just because school

> was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her back

> there right away.

>

> Anyhow I'm sorry this is so long and thank you if you've made it

this

> far. What I really want to know is how do you make it through the

bad

> days? I mean some days my daughter seems her normal self, somedays

in

> between. Then there are days like this weekend that she's consumed

> with intrusive thoughts and though I know she can't help it I get

to

> the point that I feel I can't take it anymore. I've been telling

her

> that as long as she's not hurt or hurting anyone else that I don't

> need to hear about her thoughts. She says that she " just feels

> better " when she tells me the stuff. The docs explained that this

is

> actually the ritual, the telling me things.

>

> I adore my daughter and having anxiety issues myself I know how

hard

> it is. But on days like today I just am at my wits end. I try to

tell

> myself that God blessed me with this child because I could handle

> her. But it's just so hard sometimes. Do you have any advice about

> how to make it through? Sometimes I feel like all hope is lost and

> that my daughter will never have a normal life. Then there are days

> that seem so much better and I feel it will all be okay. Mostly the

> days are right in the middle. It's just this never ending battle

that

> I feel to tired to fight sometimes. I feel terrible even saying

this

> but I know I can't be the only one who feels so defeated.

>