New here 6 year old with OCD

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone. I am new here and am so very glad I found you all. I

am a mother of a bright 6 year old girl who's been diagnosed with

OCD,GAD,Seperation anxiety and specific phobias. She started showing

symptoms all of the sudden last April.

Out of the blue she was afraid to hold hands because she bites her

nails therefor she thought she had spit on her hands which would get

on us. Then she started eating in a weird way with her utensils.

Later she told us it was because she didn't want to scratch the plate

or bowl with her utensil. She became stressed out about scratching

our wood floors with her shoes. (these are old floors that we've

never cared less about scratching).

She also became very depressed and not like her normal self. She

would wake up mornings crying wondering why she felt this way.

There's so much more to go into that I could write pages. Well we

took her to a therapist and had a consultation. Ten minutes into the

first appointment the woman came out and told me my five year old

should be put on prozac because she wanted to hurt herself. I was

scared to death because my daughter has never ever said anything like

this. After the appointment my little girl and I talked and I figured

out that the therapist had just totally misunderstood something they

talked about.

I wasn't sure what to do next because although I am not against meds

I knew in my heart that this just wasn't right. Strangely enough this

was about the time of year that the sun started shining again and

temps warmed up. Almost as if it was magic my daughter's troubles

seemed to disapper. Over the past 5 months she had been through the

death of my Mom who lived with us for my daughter's entire life. She

watched her favorite grandma die of cancer at only 46 years old.

Because we cared for her at home she unfortunately saw more than I

think a child that age should see. Also very soon after my mom's

death we moved to a new home in a new town and my husband started a

new job. Then the other bigee was we had a baby boy.

Since my little girl's symptoms seemed to fade away we just thought

it must've been some bizarre stage.

Well fast forward to this past Christmas, maybe a few days before.

She started having major anxitey about going to school even though

she had been fine before and nothing bad was happening at school. She

was terrified that she would get off of the school bus to find nobody

home. She was also scared that school would get let out early and

nobody would be home when she got there. No amount of reassuring

could convince her that this wouldn't happen.

Then there's the near constant confessing of things that are almost

always trivial at best. In her mind though she's done something

horrible. Yesterday she was mad at me and rolled her eyes at me. I

told her that wasn't nice and I didn't want her doing that. The rest

of the day and into today she's constantly telling me that

she " started " to roll her eyes at me or has thought about doing it.

She even said maybe she'd just close her eyes so she wouldn't do it.

She's had intrusive thoughts from hurting people to being curious

about private parts. These really upset her and she wonders why she

thinks of " gross " stuff. I try to tell her that all kids are curious

about that stuff but that the thoughts just get stuck in her head and

that she isn't bad. She's always thinking she's done something or

wrong or might do something wrong.

Then there's the germ stuff. While eating at a fast food restaurant

one day she abrubtly wanted to move seats. She finally told us it was

because the napkin holder was " gross " and she couldn't stand looking

at it. It had what looked to be a ketchup fingerprint on it. We had

to move it to a different table for her to be able to eat. There's

lots of other things like this that bother her too.

Then about a month ago she got to the point that she said she just

couldn't go to school because she'd miss me too much. Now I'm a stay

home mom and her dad and I are always with her so it's not a case of

not enough time. She got so hysterical that I just kept her home the

two days prior to her appointments because I didn't know what else to

do.

So we are lucky enough to live about an hour and a half from Mayo

Clinic in Rochester and I decided that I wasn't messing around with

the people in our small town anymore and that I'd take her there. Boy

am I glad I did. We were there nearly 8 hours for our initial

evaluation. Let me tell you this was nothing like our experience with

our " therapist " last year.

So the docs told us that it was definately OCD, General Anxiety

Disorder, Seperation Anxiety, and Specific Phobias. On the 22nd we

are starting weekly sessions of CBT to go for at least 10 weeks for

sure. I am SO thankful that we found the place we did.

I asked the doctor what the heck to do to get her to go to school in

the meantime. He said with rewards, to think of something she really

wanted and that could be her reward. He said it didn't need to be

something purchased but that it could be. So we went and bought a

bunch of toys and wrapped them up seperately and every morning right

before school she gets to open one. Then we also started a chart

where for everyday that she doesn't cry at school she gets an x on

the chart. These X's are saved up for other treats and stuff.

Well this has worked so far though I fear we might go broke doing it.

I'm hoping this isn't what we're going to be told to do for

everything. He made it sound though like it was just because school

was such an important thing that we'd go all out to get her back

there right away.

Anyhow I'm sorry this is so long and thank you if you've made it this

far. What I really want to know is how do you make it through the bad

days? I mean some days my daughter seems her normal self, somedays in

between. Then there are days like this weekend that she's consumed

with intrusive thoughts and though I know she can't help it I get to

the point that I feel I can't take it anymore. I've been telling her

that as long as she's not hurt or hurting anyone else that I don't

need to hear about her thoughts. She says that she " just feels

better " when she tells me the stuff. The docs explained that this is

actually the ritual, the telling me things.

I adore my daughter and having anxiety issues myself I know how hard

it is. But on days like today I just am at my wits end. I try to tell

myself that God blessed me with this child because I could handle

her. But it's just so hard sometimes. Do you have any advice about

how to make it through? Sometimes I feel like all hope is lost and

that my daughter will never have a normal life. Then there are days

that seem so much better and I feel it will all be okay. Mostly the

days are right in the middle. It's just this never ending battle that

I feel to tired to fight sometimes. I feel terrible even saying this

but I know I can't be the only one who feels so defeated.